Everybody Wants To Be Right: Fat Joe, Lindsay Clancy & Love | 340

Sibling HH 09/11/26

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Fat Joe, the Clancy case and living apart, all in one episode 🎤🖤🏠

Bruce Anthony: Everybody wanna [00:00:01] be right, [00:00:02] [00:00:03] but most of the time it's [00:00:04] wrong. We [00:00:05] gonna get into it. [00:00:06] Let's [00:00:07] get [00:00:08] it

[00:00:09] [00:00:10] [00:00:11] [00:00:12] [00:00:13] [00:00:14] [00:00:15] [00:00:16] [00:00:17] [00:00:18]

Bruce Anthony: [00:00:19] Welcome. First [00:00:20] of all, [00:00:21] welcome. This is Unsolicited [00:00:22] Perspectives. I am your [00:00:23] host, Bruce Anthony, [00:00:24] here to lead the [00:00:25] conversation in important [00:00:26] events and [00:00:27] topics that are shaping [00:00:28] today's society. [00:00:29] Join the [00:00:30] conversation and follow us wherever [00:00:31] you get your audio [00:00:32] podcasts.

Subscribe to our [00:00:33] YouTube channel for our [00:00:34] video podcasts, [00:00:35] YouTube exclusive [00:00:36] content, and our YouTube [00:00:37] membership. [00:00:38] Rate, review, [00:00:39] like, [00:00:40] comment, share. [00:00:41] Share with your friends, [00:00:42] share with your [00:00:43] family. Hell, [00:00:44] even share with your [00:00:45] enemies. On [00:00:46] today's [00:00:47] episode, it's the [00:00:48] sibling happy hour. I'm here with [00:00:49] my sis, Jay [00:00:50] Andrea.

We're gonna be [00:00:51] dilly-dadding a little bit, [00:00:52] then we're gonna be talking [00:00:53] about the Lindsay [00:00:54] Clancy [00:00:55] story and [00:00:56] living [00:00:57] together [00:00:58] apart. What is it? [00:00:59] We gonna get [00:01:00] into it. But that's [00:01:01] enough of the intro. [00:01:02] Let's get to the [00:01:03] [00:01:04] show

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Bruce Anthony: [00:01:05] [00:01:06] [00:01:07] [00:01:08] [00:01:09] [00:01:10] [00:01:11] [00:01:12] what up, sis?[00:01:13]

Jay Aundrea: What up, brother?[00:01:14]

Bruce Anthony: I can't call it, [00:01:15] I can't call it. [00:01:16] You know, every [00:01:17] time

Jay Aundrea: [00:01:18] Mm-hmm

Bruce Anthony: start [00:01:19] the show [00:01:20] and [00:01:21] I [00:01:22] record the [00:01:23] opening and then [00:01:24] that intro, by [00:01:25] the time I [00:01:26] get to [00:01:27] [00:01:28] audio [00:01:29] podcast,[00:01:30]

Jay Aundrea: Right.[00:01:31]

Bruce Anthony: I start getting [00:01:32] cotton mouth. [00:01:33] And it's a [00:01:34] short... It lasts [00:01:35] just a short little [00:01:36] bit 'cause once I'm [00:01:37] done filming that [00:01:38] part, I take a little [00:01:39] swig.

I always take a [00:01:40] little swig, and then we get [00:01:41] right back to it

Jay Aundrea: [00:01:42] You do. You take your [00:01:43] little swig

Bruce Anthony: [00:01:44] It, and you [00:01:45] think it's [00:01:46] nerves, but I'm [00:01:47] not nervous [00:01:48] doing this show [00:01:49] anymore.[00:01:50]

Jay Aundrea: I, [00:01:51] well, [00:01:52] maybe you're not [00:01:53] [00:01:54] aware of it. Like, [00:01:55] there might [00:01:56] be some, like, [00:01:57] unconscious pressure [00:01:58] you're putting on yourself [00:01:59] maybe. Because I [00:02:00] know that I

Bruce Anthony: day. [00:02:01] That's every [00:02:02] day. [00:02:03] [00:02:04] That's [00:02:05] not unconscious. [00:02:06] That's,[00:02:07] [00:02:08]

Jay Aundrea: just life. [00:02:09] That's just life,

Bruce Anthony: [00:02:10] that's every day. Like, as soon as [00:02:11] I wake up in the morning, "Ah, [00:02:12]

Nerves, dry mouth and the anxiety toots that the body keeps 😅😬💨

Bruce Anthony: damn, why is some, [00:02:13] why is my [00:02:14] shoulder so tight?" It's [00:02:15] the pressure that I'm [00:02:16] putting on [00:02:17] myself is weighing down [00:02:18] on my shoulders and my [00:02:19] neck. Yes. No

Jay Aundrea: [00:02:20] Yes, [00:02:21] my, 'cause mine is [00:02:22] caused by nerves. [00:02:23] Every [00:02:24] time I have to, like, [00:02:25] sing in [00:02:26] public, I [00:02:27] get [00:02:28] the [00:02:29] worst dry mouth. [00:02:30] It's so [00:02:31] bad, like, my [00:02:32] lip sticks [00:02:33] to my teeth. [00:02:34] Like, it's [00:02:35] that bad. [00:02:36] And I'm like, "Why [00:02:37] can't this [00:02:38] happen, [00:02:39] like, after, [00:02:40] after I [00:02:41] perform? Like, why does it [00:02:42] have to happen [00:02:43] right [00:02:44] before I perform? [00:02:45] Like, why can't it be [00:02:46] post [00:02:47] nerves?

Bruce Anthony: [00:02:48] Hmm. I don't, I, I

Jay Aundrea: it [00:02:49] gotta

Bruce Anthony: I don't think that's a [00:02:50] thing. I [00:02:51] don't think [00:02:52] post-nerve... I guess if [00:02:53] post-nerves are [00:02:54] if you're [00:02:55] expecting, [00:02:56] uh, some type of grade [00:02:57] or reaction to [00:02:58] whatever it is you just [00:02:59] did, then [00:03:00] yes, it would be [00:03:01] post-nerves. I used to get [00:03:02] cotton mouth [00:03:03] [00:03:04] before [00:03:05] every game that I [00:03:06] played.[00:03:07]

Jay Aundrea: Yeah

Bruce Anthony: [00:03:08] single one. And [00:03:09] then another thing, [00:03:10] the cotton [00:03:11] mouth is one thing, [00:03:12] right? [00:03:13] But then [00:03:14] my legs would get [00:03:15] super heavy[00:03:16]

Jay Aundrea: [00:03:17] Oh.[00:03:18]

Bruce Anthony: every [00:03:19] basketball game. I'm [00:03:20] out there on the [00:03:21] start-- I'm out there on the, [00:03:22] you know, we, we [00:03:23] around the circle, [00:03:24] jump ball about to happen. [00:03:25] I [00:03:26] can't talk out [00:03:27] my mouth, [00:03:28] and I'm like, "Yo, my [00:03:29] legs is not gonna move." [00:03:30] Every [00:03:31] time. And [00:03:32] I didn't [00:03:33] realize until later [00:03:34] that was [00:03:35] [00:03:36] nerves

Jay Aundrea: I get, [00:03:37] uh, [00:03:38] anxiety toots [00:03:39] [00:03:40] [00:03:41] And that's just [00:03:42] the, that's just the [00:03:43] reality. Listen, [00:03:44] I-- [00:03:45] My stomach [00:03:46] don't [00:03:47] quite... [00:03:48] Listen, [00:03:49] hey, [00:03:50] I get, I [00:03:51] get stress toots, [00:03:52] and I'll be like, [00:03:53] "Mm, oh [00:03:54] my God. [00:03:55] Oh, Lord.

Bruce Anthony: [00:03:56] This is disgusting.[00:03:57]

Jay Aundrea: [00:03:58] Well, farts, [00:03:59] farts are a [00:04:00] natural [00:04:01] part of life, [00:04:02] and for [00:04:03] anybody out [00:04:04] there who [00:04:05] has [00:04:06] generalized [00:04:07] anxiety, which means you [00:04:08] just [00:04:09] anxious all [00:04:10] the time, right?[00:04:11]

Just in [00:04:12] general. That's [00:04:13] how I take that. [00:04:14] I don't know if [00:04:15] that's like the clinical [00:04:16] definition, but that's how I [00:04:17] take it,

Bruce Anthony: Yeah,[00:04:18]

Jay Aundrea: that results [00:04:19] in [00:04:20] stress toots. [00:04:21] [00:04:22] The, the-- [00:04:23] Listen, I'm here [00:04:24] to let you know you're not [00:04:25] alone[00:04:26]

Bruce Anthony: I, [00:04:27]

When your body knows a relationship is over well before you do 😬💔🧠

Bruce Anthony: I wasn't t- [00:04:28] well, tubes are [00:04:29] disgusting, but [00:04:30] I'm about to make it [00:04:31] even more disgusting [00:04:32] because [00:04:33] story time. [00:04:34] [00:04:35] [00:04:36] My [00:04:37] last [00:04:38] serious girlfriend,[00:04:39]

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: went [00:04:40] away somewhere, [00:04:41] [00:04:42] and sh- [00:04:43] unbeknownst to [00:04:44] her, and I guess to [00:04:45] myself[00:04:46]

Jay Aundrea: Okay[00:04:47] [00:04:48]

Bruce Anthony: [00:04:49] The first [00:04:50] night that we went away, [00:04:51] 'cause we went away for a [00:04:52] weekend, the first [00:04:53] night, at [00:04:54] the end of the [00:04:55] night, [00:04:56] I knew [00:04:57] I was [00:04:58] gonna break up with her. [00:04:59] Something [00:05:00] had happened. I'm not [00:05:01] gonna get [00:05:02] specific [00:05:03] or [00:05:04] explicit, but something had [00:05:05] happened

Jay Aundrea: [00:05:06] Mm-hmm.[00:05:07]

Bruce Anthony: and, and, and [00:05:08] I knew. Now, it still [00:05:09] took me, like, a month [00:05:10] later to [00:05:11] finally go through with it, [00:05:12] but here's the [00:05:13] disgusting part.[00:05:14]

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.[00:05:15]

Bruce Anthony: I had [00:05:16] diarrhea for the rest of the night[00:05:17] [00:05:18] [00:05:19]

Jay Aundrea: The night you [00:05:20] decided to [00:05:21] break up with her [00:05:22] or the night you [00:05:23] actually did?

Bruce Anthony: [00:05:24] No, the night, [00:05:25] well, the night that [00:05:26] my body [00:05:27] told me that I was going [00:05:28] to, because remember, [00:05:29] subconsciously [00:05:30] or consciously, I [00:05:31] still don't know that [00:05:32] I'm going to break up [00:05:33] with her.

Jay Aundrea: [00:05:34] Ah.

Bruce Anthony: [00:05:35] Subconsciously, my [00:05:36] body knows, [00:05:37] "Hey, yo, Bruce, you out this [00:05:38] situation. Like, you [00:05:39] done. [00:05:40] Whether or not you wanna [00:05:41] admit it to yourself, [00:05:42] [00:05:43] you are [00:05:44] done."

[00:05:45] And so my body [00:05:46] reacted, [00:05:47] yes

Jay Aundrea: a prior show, [00:05:48] how[00:05:49] [00:05:50] [00:05:51] [00:05:52]

men don't like to [00:05:53] break up with [00:05:54] women. So it's [00:05:55] like the stress [00:05:56] of knowing, of [00:05:57] coming to the [00:05:58] realization before [00:05:59] she does that y'all [00:06:00] need to break up, [00:06:01] and you gotta [00:06:02] figure out how [00:06:03] you gonna [00:06:04] maintain your good [00:06:05] guy persona [00:06:06] while [00:06:07] [00:06:08] simultaneously being [00:06:09] horrible so that she'll [00:06:10] break up with [00:06:11] you

Bruce Anthony: [00:06:12] Uh, no, [00:06:13] I stopped that in [00:06:14] my 30s. [00:06:15] I, like I said, it was [00:06:16] subconscious. [00:06:17] I [00:06:18] knew things [00:06:19] just weren't [00:06:20] right.

Jay Aundrea: [00:06:21] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: I [00:06:22] didn't know at [00:06:23] that moment [00:06:24] I had [00:06:25] subconsciously [00:06:26] decided I'm out[00:06:27]

Jay Aundrea: I [00:06:28] thought you were gonna [00:06:29] say [00:06:30] you knew that [00:06:31] night that you [00:06:32] were going [00:06:33] to break up with this [00:06:34] person because she [00:06:35] got

Bruce Anthony: No, [00:06:36] no, no, no. I'm not-- [00:06:37] Look, hey, look, I'm [00:06:38] not that,

Jay Aundrea: [00:06:39] 'Cause

Bruce Anthony: that [00:06:40] horrible of a person.[00:06:41]

Jay Aundrea: hell with

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, [00:06:42] no, come [00:06:43] on. No, no,

Jay Aundrea: [00:06:44] what I would've said in [00:06:45] response to

Bruce Anthony: I-- [00:06:46] That whole [00:06:47] night my [00:06:48] stomach was... I mean, [00:06:49] I'm up the [00:06:50] entire night [00:06:51] running to the [00:06:52] bathroom [00:06:53] because I [00:06:54] didn't sleep. I [00:06:55] did not sleep [00:06:56] that night. [00:06:57] And, and so that's why I [00:06:58] know if, if [00:06:59] ever I, I don't, [00:07:00] I don't have [00:07:01] anxiety toots, but I [00:07:02] have anxiety [00:07:03] diarrhea.

I know when [00:07:04] my

Jay Aundrea: How is [00:07:05] my thing [00:07:06] worse

Bruce Anthony: No, I [00:07:07] said mine was-- [00:07:08] I said I'm [00:07:09] about to get [00:07:10] disgusting.

Jay Aundrea: [00:07:11] Okay. Okay. 'Cause I [00:07:12] was about to [00:07:13] say, you

Bruce Anthony: you don't [00:07:14] be listening to me

Jay Aundrea: [00:07:15] no, [00:07:16] sometimes you [00:07:17] act like my [00:07:18] thing is [00:07:19] worse than your [00:07:20] thing, and it's not.[00:07:21]

Bruce Anthony: No, [00:07:22] here's your l- [00:07:23] here's your [00:07:24] Leo trait. [00:07:25] Okay?[00:07:26] [00:07:27]

Jay Aundrea: [00:07:28] Leo Trey

Bruce Anthony: is a, [00:07:29] it's not [00:07:30] everything's about you. [00:07:31] All [00:07:32] right?

Jay Aundrea: In this [00:07:33] instance, it is

Bruce Anthony: [00:07:34] No. Oh, okay. [00:07:35] Okay. [00:07:36] Anyway, [00:07:37] talking about [00:07:38] toots, let's talk [00:07:39] about [00:07:40] mouth [00:07:41] toots.[00:07:42]

Jay Aundrea: How, what?

Bruce Anthony: I [00:07:43] don't know. I was just trying [00:07:44] to come up with a segue, [00:07:45] and it wasn't good.[00:07:46]

Jay Aundrea: you were trying

Bruce Anthony: [00:07:47] Yeah, it wasn't

Jay Aundrea: know what? [00:07:48] I, I [00:07:49] honestly, I [00:07:50] appreciate the effort.

Bruce Anthony: [00:07:51] Yeah, you know, I tried, [00:07:52] ladies and gentlemen.

I tried. [00:07:53]

Fat Joe love and is the man a cinematic storyteller or extra 🎤📜🤔

Bruce Anthony: Okay, so [00:07:54] Fat [00:07:55] Joe, [00:07:56] one of my [00:07:57] favorite rappers. Look,[00:07:58]

Jay Aundrea: I love Fat

Bruce Anthony: gon- [00:07:59] uh, h- [00:08:00] you not gonna hear [00:08:01] me say a lot of [00:08:02] negative things about Fat [00:08:03] Joe. It's gonna be [00:08:04] just [00:08:05] basically one thing. [00:08:06] His [00:08:07] stories [00:08:08] be [00:08:09] a little extra. [00:08:10] He be putting a little [00:08:11] extra on his [00:08:12] stories. [00:08:13] Uh, yeah, he [00:08:14] be talking--

Jay Aundrea: [00:08:15] putting 20 on [00:08:16] 10 and it's like, okay[00:08:17]

Bruce Anthony: no, he be [00:08:18] putting 100 on 10.[00:08:19]

Jay Aundrea: Oh, [00:08:20] wow

Bruce Anthony: be [00:08:21] based in [00:08:22] real fact, but [00:08:23] it's like [00:08:24] everybody is, "I had [00:08:25] 100 dudes [00:08:26] with me." [00:08:27] Did you really have 100 [00:08:28] dudes or did you have, like, [00:08:29] 15? [00:08:30] Like

Jay Aundrea: So [00:08:31] he's, he's a [00:08:32] cinematic [00:08:33] storyteller. That's what I [00:08:34] call it. So you ever [00:08:35] know-- notice like [00:08:36] how some movies are [00:08:37] based on a [00:08:38] true story, but are [00:08:39] obviously they take [00:08:40] artistic license to [00:08:41] make it [00:08:42] cinematic. So [00:08:43] I like to call [00:08:44] those people [00:08:45] cinematic storytellers. [00:08:46] Can you [00:08:47] believe [00:08:48] everything they say? [00:08:49] No.

You should take [00:08:50] it with a grain of salt. But [00:08:51] listen, [00:08:52] what's the [00:08:53] actual story [00:08:54] being told? That he got [00:08:55] into a fight and [00:08:56] listen, this happened. [00:08:57] Okay. Got [00:08:58] it.

Bruce Anthony: So [00:08:59]

Fat Joe, the N-word and that Joe Budden podcast controversy 🎧🖤🔥

Bruce Anthony: Fat Joe [00:09:00] was on the Joe Budden [00:09:01] Podcast recently, [00:09:02] and there's been some [00:09:03] controversy [00:09:04] that's been sparked up. [00:09:05] This controversy [00:09:06] has happened to Fat [00:09:07] Joe [00:09:08] over the [00:09:09] last five or [00:09:10] six years, 'cause I [00:09:11] don't remember there being [00:09:12] controversy back [00:09:13] in the [00:09:14] '90s [00:09:15] when he started to blow [00:09:16] up. 'Cause like [00:09:17] Flow [00:09:18] Joe [00:09:19] came out in like [00:09:20] '91, so that's [00:09:21] how long [00:09:22] Fat Joe has been in the [00:09:23] rap game.[00:09:24]

All right? [00:09:25] And it's his [00:09:26] constant use of [00:09:27] the N [00:09:28] word.

Jay Aundrea: Yes[00:09:29]

Bruce Anthony: [00:09:30] And for those [00:09:31] that don't know who Fat [00:09:32] Joe is, Fat Joe [00:09:33] is a Puerto Rican [00:09:34] rapper from the [00:09:35] Bronx,

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:09:36] leader of the Terror [00:09:37] Squad. Don [00:09:38] Cartagena [00:09:39] is a [00:09:40] true [00:09:41] former [00:09:42] gangster [00:09:43] in the street. Like [00:09:44] when [00:09:45] everybody in the [00:09:46] rap game and [00:09:47] everybody from [00:09:48] New York [00:09:49] saying, "Yeah, but [00:09:50] Fat Joe was [00:09:51] actually a, a [00:09:52] real one."[00:09:53]

And there's [00:09:54] nobody saying like [00:09:55] the stuff he was talking about [00:09:56] was a lie. [00:09:57] No. Fat [00:09:58] Joe [00:09:59] was for real, for [00:10:00] real, [00:10:01] like a [00:10:02] close to a millionaire [00:10:03] as a teenage [00:10:04] kid selling crack [00:10:05] cocaine to the [00:10:06] community

Jay Aundrea: Yes. [00:10:07] Obese [00:10:08] Joseph was out in [00:10:09] these streets[00:10:10]

Bruce Anthony: Obese [00:10:11] Joseph. [00:10:12] [00:10:13] [00:10:14] You said [00:10:15] you had some [00:10:16] thoughts [00:10:17] about his [00:10:18] constant use [00:10:19] of the [00:10:20] N-word, and I'm, I'm [00:10:21] curious to [00:10:22] hear them

Jay Aundrea: [00:10:23] So I [00:10:24] was, I was in [00:10:25] my [00:10:26] 2000s bag [00:10:27] like a week [00:10:28] ago, [00:10:29] and of course [00:10:30] in my rotation [00:10:31] is some Terror [00:10:32] Squad, okay? [00:10:33] [00:10:34] Uh, I, [00:10:35] I, p- [00:10:36] [00:10:37] specifically "Take Me [00:10:38] Home," right? [00:10:39] That's my jam. [00:10:40] I love [00:10:41] Remy Ma's verse [00:10:42] on that. [00:10:43] It's a great [00:10:44] song. [00:10:45] So [00:10:46] [00:10:47] there was another [00:10:48] song, it wasn't [00:10:49] that one, it was another [00:10:50] song, and it was [00:10:51] like [00:10:52] just the opening [00:10:53] of him like getting [00:10:54] hyped up [00:10:55] before the song even [00:10:56] starts.

You know how they [00:10:57] do the little ad lib at the [00:10:58] beginning? It [00:10:59] was so many [00:11:00] N-bombs and [00:11:01] like, [00:11:02] it-- [00:11:03] I [00:11:04] cringed every single [00:11:05] time. And [00:11:06] so here's the [00:11:07] problem, and this is kind [00:11:08] of people's [00:11:09] response back in the [00:11:10] day when this was an [00:11:11] issue, because it [00:11:12] came up [00:11:13] when [00:11:14] J.Lo said it.[00:11:15]

Bruce Anthony: Right. [00:11:16] Yes. When J.Lo [00:11:17] said it to, [00:11:18] uh, uh, "I'm [00:11:19] Real," the [00:11:20] song "I'm Real" written [00:11:21] by Ja Rule, [00:11:22] performed with [00:11:23] her and Ja Rule [00:11:24] back in, like, [00:11:25] 2001 or [00:11:26] 2, [00:11:27] something like that

Jay Aundrea: [00:11:28] Yes. And [00:11:29] it feels like the [00:11:30] consensus [00:11:31] is, and I [00:11:32] don't agree with [00:11:33] this at all, [00:11:34] is that Puerto [00:11:35] Rican plus New [00:11:36] York equals [00:11:37] Black, and that's not [00:11:38] true. Like [00:11:39] it's-- [00:11:40] just because you're [00:11:41] Puerto Rican [00:11:42] and from New [00:11:43] York City [00:11:44] does not mean you can [00:11:45] say the N-word. I don't [00:11:46] care. I don't [00:11:47] care that it's, [00:11:48] "Oh, this is how we [00:11:49] talk," blah, blah, [00:11:50] blah.

I do not [00:11:51] give a [00:11:52] full damn. [00:11:53] You-- [00:11:54] Fat Joe [00:11:55] has not [00:11:56] lived as a Black [00:11:57] man in [00:11:58] America. He [00:11:59] is, uh, he [00:12:00] might be from the Black [00:12:01] diaspora. I don't [00:12:02] know. I don't know his, [00:12:03] his [00:12:04] lineage, okay? [00:12:05] But [00:12:06] all I know [00:12:07] is you have [00:12:08] not lived the [00:12:09] life or the [00:12:10] [00:12:11] experiences [00:12:12] i-in [00:12:13] totality, right, [00:12:14] as a Black [00:12:15] man in America. [00:12:16] You have lived as a [00:12:17] person of color in [00:12:18] America, but [00:12:19] baby, that's different [00:12:20] because there's a [00:12:21] difference between [00:12:22] racism and anti-Black [00:12:23] racism.

It's two [00:12:24] different things. [00:12:25] I-- it, it just [00:12:26] annoys me that [00:12:27] people are like, "Oh, [00:12:28] well, they're [00:12:29] Puerto Rican, [00:12:30] Dominican, [00:12:31] Cuban from New York, [00:12:32] so they say the [00:12:33] N-word." No. [00:12:34] No. [00:12:35] I don't [00:12:36] care. I [00:12:37] don't care if it's [00:12:38] part of your [00:12:39] lexicon. I don't [00:12:40] care. I don't [00:12:41] like... Fat [00:12:42] Joe is not a [00:12:43] Black man, so [00:12:44] you don't [00:12:45] get to say [00:12:46] it. It really, [00:12:47] really bothers me.

It [00:12:48] bothered me back in the [00:12:49] day, but I love [00:12:50] his music so much [00:12:51] that I'll still be listening [00:12:52] to it. But, [00:12:53] but [00:12:54] it-- I [00:12:55] just realized as [00:12:56] I was listening to it, I actually [00:12:57] cut the song off [00:12:58] 'cause it bothered me that [00:12:59] much

Bruce Anthony: Hmm. [00:13:00] [00:13:01] Uh, that's interesting. [00:13:02] I have [00:13:03] never... [00:13:04] There [00:13:05] are times [00:13:06] where the [00:13:07] N-word is said by certain [00:13:08] people, and I cringe. [00:13:09] Even some Black [00:13:10] people. Some Black-- If Tim [00:13:11] Scott, if I [00:13:12] was walking [00:13:13] in, in, in the [00:13:14] mall in [00:13:15] DC, and Tim [00:13:16] Scott walked past me [00:13:17] and was like, "What up, [00:13:18] N-word?" I'd be like, [00:13:19] "Mm,

Jay Aundrea: I, no, [00:13:20] because you know it's a [00:13:21] hard R

Bruce Anthony: [00:13:22] Yeah, Byron [00:13:23] Donalds, uh, [00:13:24] Byron Donalds nothing.

Jay Aundrea: [00:13:25] Yeah. [00:13:26] No, we Black, [00:13:27] it's Donald's.[00:13:28]

Bruce Anthony: Donalds, [00:13:29] yeah. And it's an [00:13:30] interesting [00:13:31] [00:13:32] conversation, and, and they [00:13:33] expanded upon [00:13:34] it in, [00:13:35] uh, [00:13:36] Joe Budden's [00:13:37] podcast. [00:13:38] But [00:13:39] we [00:13:40] do, some of us in [00:13:41] the Black community, [00:13:42] tend to [00:13:43] give certain [00:13:44] people a pass. Fat [00:13:45] Joe has always [00:13:46] gotten a pass, but [00:13:47] when J.Lo said it, [00:13:48] it was an [00:13:49] issue. And the [00:13:50] reason [00:13:51] is, is [00:13:52] because [00:13:53] [00:13:54] J.Lo seemed [00:13:55] like she was [00:13:56] cosplaying,[00:13:57]

Jay Aundrea: [00:13:58] Yeah

Bruce Anthony: like she [00:13:59] was of the [00:14:00] culture, where [00:14:01] Fat Joe [00:14:02] has always [00:14:03] been of the culture.

And [00:14:04]

White Latino vs Black Latino and who hands out the culture pass 🖤🤷💥

Bruce Anthony: there is [00:14:05] a [00:14:06] difference [00:14:07] between [00:14:08] white Latino [00:14:09] and Black [00:14:10] Latino, right? [00:14:11] [00:14:12] So,

Jay Aundrea: A [00:14:13] Rosie Perez. Okay? A Laz[00:14:14]

Bruce Anthony: can say [00:14:15] it[00:14:16]

Jay Aundrea: [00:14:17] [00:14:18] Alonso.

Bruce Anthony: I [00:14:19] don't even know who that [00:14:20] is.

Jay Aundrea: You know his [00:14:21] face, can [00:14:22] say it. You know what [00:14:23] I'm saying? These are [00:14:24] Black [00:14:25] people

Bruce Anthony: [00:14:26] What about, uh,[00:14:27]

Jay Aundrea: [00:14:28] Latino

Bruce Anthony: yeah, what [00:14:29] about, uh, what's [00:14:30] my name? John [00:14:31] Leguizamo

Jay Aundrea: [00:14:32] No, John [00:14:33] Leguizamo is a white [00:14:34] man[00:14:35]

Bruce Anthony: No, he's not. He's [00:14:36] Puerto Rican[00:14:37]

Jay Aundrea: [00:14:38] That's a-- [00:14:39] [00:14:40] Puerto Rican is his [00:14:41] nationality, [00:14:42] and really it's not [00:14:43] even his nationality [00:14:44] because Puerto Rico is [00:14:45] part of the United [00:14:46] States. [00:14:47] But y- [00:14:48] let's go with that. [00:14:49] But his [00:14:50] racial [00:14:51] identity, that is a [00:14:52] white man[00:14:53]

Bruce Anthony: Who, who, [00:14:54] okay, and so this was [00:14:55] an interesting [00:14:56] conversation on the Joe Budden [00:14:57] podcast, who put that racial [00:14:58] identity on [00:14:59] him because he [00:15:00] represents the c- [00:15:01] he, he, [00:15:02] so [00:15:03] it's not [00:15:04] how [00:15:05] they view [00:15:06] themselves, [00:15:07] it's how the [00:15:08] world views them[00:15:09]

Jay Aundrea: Yes, [00:15:10] because race is a [00:15:11] social construct, [00:15:12] not a personal

Bruce Anthony: [00:15:13] But then we, then we run [00:15:14] into a problem. [00:15:15] Somebody like you,[00:15:16]

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:15:17] who [00:15:18] sometimes I know [00:15:19] you're, well, at least half of a [00:15:20] Black woman, a [00:15:21] quarter, something

Jay Aundrea: [00:15:22] definitely [00:15:23] Black, [00:15:24] so[00:15:25]

Bruce Anthony: But somebody [00:15:26] looking at you, [00:15:27] right?[00:15:28]

Jay Aundrea: my think I'm [00:15:29] mixed,

Bruce Anthony: M- or, [00:15:30] or [00:15:31] not [00:15:32] Black at all[00:15:33]

Jay Aundrea: [00:15:34] I don't know that I've [00:15:35] ever gotten not [00:15:36] Black at all[00:15:37]

Bruce Anthony: you get, uh, [00:15:38] Asian when you were in [00:15:39] Italy?[00:15:40]

Jay Aundrea: [00:15:41] No, [00:15:42] no. No, [00:15:43] they said [00:15:44] Hawaiian.[00:15:45]

Bruce Anthony: Uh, oh, [00:15:46] okay. All [00:15:47] right. Well, that ain't [00:15:48]

Jay Aundrea: I got [00:15:49] Asian [00:15:50] actually at the [00:15:51] doctor's office. [00:15:52] But in [00:15:53] my [00:15:54] defense, it was during [00:15:55] COVID. I had a [00:15:56] mask on[00:15:57]

Bruce Anthony: Okay. Well, [00:15:58] you got Hawaiian. Hawaiian [00:15:59] is not Black. [00:16:00] Polynesian

aren't [00:16:01] Black. [00:16:02] So there you go. Somebody, [00:16:03] somebody could [00:16:04] mistake you

Jay Aundrea: Somebody could[00:16:05]

Bruce Anthony: being [00:16:06] Black, and I [00:16:07] know [00:16:08] personally [00:16:09] that you [00:16:10] say that word[00:16:11]

Jay Aundrea: Yeah, I [00:16:12] do

Bruce Anthony: I [00:16:13] say it [00:16:14] once a day, maybe even [00:16:15] sometimes twice a day . [00:16:16] [00:16:17] Okay? [00:16:18] People [00:16:19] that are listening to this [00:16:20] that know me [00:16:21] personally that don't know [00:16:22] that about me will [00:16:23] probably be surprised.

[00:16:24] Like, "Really? You do?" [00:16:25] Yes , [00:16:26] [00:16:27] I do. Not [00:16:28] around you.

Jay Aundrea: we [00:16:29] don't on this [00:16:30] show, and I also pick on, and [00:16:31]

Bruce Anthony: no. I- [00:16:32] although it did happen [00:16:33] one time[00:16:34]

Jay Aundrea: Oh, because-- [00:16:35] Was it me? It [00:16:36] slipped

Bruce Anthony: Nah, it was [00:16:37] me

Jay Aundrea: Oh, [00:16:38] okay. [00:16:39] And [00:16:40] I also don't [00:16:41] do it in, [00:16:42] let's say, mixed [00:16:43] company,

Bruce Anthony: That's what I'm [00:16:44] talking about. Yes. [00:16:45] I

Jay Aundrea: I don't do that[00:16:46]

Bruce Anthony: I have a [00:16:47] friend, a personal [00:16:48] friend of mine for [00:16:49] years, [00:16:50] says it [00:16:51] all the time [00:16:52] everywhere. I'm like, "Yo, s- [00:16:53] [00:16:54] stop.

Jay Aundrea: [00:16:55] I, also know [00:16:56] someone like that,

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, I'm [00:16:57] like, "Yo, stop." Like, [00:16:58] "What are you doing right now? [00:16:59] Don't, don't be just [00:17:00] keep doing that." D- [00:17:01] like, "Hey man, [00:17:02] recognize where we at." I [00:17:03] don't care.

Oh, I [00:17:04] just did that voice so you [00:17:05] know exactly who it is.[00:17:06] [00:17:07]

Jay Aundrea: I'm [00:17:08] surprised you're not saying the [00:17:09] person I'm thinking [00:17:10] of

Bruce Anthony: [00:17:11] [00:17:12] Uh, [00:17:13] that's your [00:17:14] friend?

Jay Aundrea: [00:17:15] No, it's a family [00:17:16] member[00:17:17]

Bruce Anthony: [00:17:18] It's a family [00:17:19] member. [00:17:20] I don't even know who... [00:17:21] We go- we gonna do that [00:17:22] off air. We gonna

do that off [00:17:23] air 'cause I don't know who you're talking [00:17:24] about. But,

Jay Aundrea: [00:17:25] you will and then you'll [00:17:26] be like, "Oh, [00:17:27] yeah!"[00:17:28] [00:17:29]

Bruce Anthony: uh, so I'm not [00:17:30] offended by Fat Joe [00:17:31] saying it. Uh, but [00:17:32] I'm not [00:17:33] the [00:17:34] [00:17:35] arbiter of who [00:17:36] can [00:17:37] say it and who [00:17:38] cannot say it. The [00:17:39] fact of the matter is [00:17:40] everybody can [00:17:41] say it if they want to.[00:17:42]

Jay Aundrea: Yeah[00:17:43] [00:17:44]

Bruce Anthony: for the [00:17:45] consequences that come [00:17:46] once you [00:17:47] say it

Jay Aundrea: [00:17:48] I, [00:17:49] I can [00:17:50] see both [00:17:51] sides of it, [00:17:52] right? Like I can-- [00:17:53] it, 'cause it makes [00:17:54] me cringe when he [00:17:55] says it because he is [00:17:56] not a Black man. [00:17:57] [00:17:58] But I [00:17:59] also get [00:18:00] that his [00:18:01] proximity to [00:18:02] Blackness and [00:18:03] his [00:18:04] proximity to the [00:18:05] culture and his [00:18:06] contributions to the culture [00:18:07] has given him [00:18:08] some sort of [00:18:09] ubiquitous [00:18:10] pass, [00:18:11] which [00:18:12] again, [00:18:13] who is giving [00:18:14] this pass out?

But I [00:18:15] feel like [00:18:16] since he's [00:18:17] been in the game for so [00:18:18] long and been doing it for [00:18:19] so long and [00:18:20] really has not [00:18:21] suffered any kind of real [00:18:22] backlash for [00:18:23] it, I feel [00:18:24] like [00:18:25] as a [00:18:26] culture, we've [00:18:27] accepted the fact that [00:18:28] he says it.

Bruce Anthony: [00:18:29] Hmm. [00:18:30]

Jay Aundrea: Not [00:18:31] that we [00:18:32] necessarily [00:18:33] condone it [00:18:34] or like it [00:18:35] even, but we've [00:18:36] accepted the fact that he [00:18:37] says it.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah '[00:18:38] [00:18:39]

Jay Aundrea: Cause I'm [00:18:40] still gonna listen to them [00:18:41] jams. I, I mean, [00:18:42] I, I, I'm a [00:18:43] b- I'm a Fat Joe [00:18:44] fan. Like I'm [00:18:45] still going to [00:18:46] listen.

[00:18:47] Um, [00:18:48] yeah, I, I [00:18:49] love Fat Joe [00:18:50] and so I'm still gonna [00:18:51] listen.

Bruce Anthony: Matter of fact, [00:18:52] I'm such a big Fat [00:18:53] Joe fan. When [00:18:54] Pun was out and [00:18:55] everybody was like, "Pun is the one," [00:18:56] I was like, "Yeah, but, [00:18:57] but Fat Joe." [00:18:58] Like,

Jay Aundrea: on, but [00:18:59] on the low, [00:19:00] like Fat [00:19:01] Joe though,

Bruce Anthony: that's, [00:19:02] that was, that's my [00:19:03] man, Fat Joe. [00:19:04] You can't tell me [00:19:05] Don Cartagena, I [00:19:06] would listen to that [00:19:07] al- Matter of fact, after [00:19:08] this, while I'm [00:19:09] doing the editing of the [00:19:10] show, I'ma just let [00:19:11] it ride, 'cause it's one of my [00:19:12] favorite albums of all [00:19:13] time, period[00:19:14]

Jay Aundrea: yeah. [00:19:15] What did [00:19:16] they, did they talk [00:19:17] about it on the Joe [00:19:18] Budden

[00:19:19] [00:19:20] podcast?

Bruce Anthony: love the [00:19:21] Joe Budden... I, [00:19:22] no, no, no, no. They did. [00:19:23] I love the Joe Budden [00:19:24] Podcast, but it's [00:19:25] five different voices [00:19:26] speaking all at one [00:19:27] time. There is no [00:19:28] consensus. It's [00:19:29] five different [00:19:30] personalities. They were just all [00:19:31] given their... They, [00:19:32] very much like this, [00:19:33] just expand. [00:19:34] If it was me and you, [00:19:35] and then [00:19:36] a duplicate [00:19:37] version of me and [00:19:38] you,

Jay Aundrea: Oh, [00:19:39] what a nightmare. [00:19:40] Yeah

Bruce Anthony: no, I think [00:19:41] that would be [00:19:42] fantastic, actually. I would love [00:19:43] to be in my own [00:19:44] company. It'd be [00:19:45] funny. It'd be laughs[00:19:46]

Jay Aundrea: F- [00:19:47] four people with [00:19:48] ADHD trying to [00:19:49] have a [00:19:50] conversation? I don't

Bruce Anthony: [00:19:51] conversations are the best. We [00:19:52] have them all the time. That's what [00:19:53] the whole

Jay Aundrea: Doing [00:19:54] it right now.[00:19:55]

Bruce Anthony: Yeah [00:19:56] so I don't

Jay Aundrea: I was [00:19:57] interested in Joe's take [00:19:58] though[00:19:59] [00:20:00]

Bruce Anthony: And Joe was just, [00:20:01] Joe was pretty much like [00:20:02] Ma Tate. It was, [00:20:03] it was like, yo, [00:20:04] I, I don't think [00:20:05] anything of [00:20:06] it. He's not one of [00:20:07] those people that I think [00:20:08] anything of it. If [00:20:09] Ricky Martin and Jennifer [00:20:10] Lopez, both Puerto [00:20:11] Rican. [00:20:12] Both to me [00:20:13] white Puerto

[00:20:14] Rican. [00:20:15] Even though Fat [00:20:16] Joe's [00:20:17] [00:20:18] more [00:20:19] white than he [00:20:20] is Black. Not, and I [00:20:21] don't, I don't, I [00:20:22] don't, I don't [00:20:23] know[00:20:24]

Jay Aundrea: I- if you, if you [00:20:25] look at that brother [00:20:26] that, I call him [00:20:27] brother 'cause [00:20:28] it's, he's Fat Joe,

Bruce Anthony: [00:20:29] Yeah. Uh, uh, [00:20:30] you are, you and him [00:20:31] are, you [00:20:32] are lighter skinned than [00:20:33] Fat Joe is, so [00:20:34] let's just point that out [00:20:35] there. And he also

Jay Aundrea: [00:20:36] we're the same [00:20:37] color. Honestly, Joe

Bruce Anthony: it's [00:20:38] close, but no,

[00:20:39] it ain't. [00:20:40] [00:20:41]

Jay Aundrea: I could

be [00:20:42] siblings [00:20:43] more [00:20:44] than you [00:20:45] and-- Like, [00:20:46] Joe and I look [00:20:47] more like siblings than [00:20:48] you

Bruce Anthony: [00:20:49] Yes. [00:20:50] That's the whole point [00:20:51] I was trying to [00:20:52] make.

Jay Aundrea: and [00:20:53] Happy [00:20:54] do. Yeah, I, I see that. But also, [00:20:55] I-- he's not a [00:20:56] Black man. He just [00:20:57] has a, he [00:20:58] just has [00:20:59] a [00:21:00] proximity to the culture, [00:21:01] and he [00:21:02] has [00:21:03] contributed

Bruce Anthony: [00:21:04] Yeah.

A [00:21:05] great deal. A [00:21:06] great deal[00:21:07]

Jay Aundrea: Whereas if [00:21:08] you, you know, [00:21:09] not that-- [00:21:10] I hate [00:21:11] throwing Ricky Martin's [00:21:12] name out there because he's never [00:21:13] said it, but [00:21:14] like-- Well, I don't know what [00:21:15] his personal life is [00:21:16] like.

I'm not gonna

Bruce Anthony: But [00:21:17] J.Lo, you can say

Jay Aundrea: [00:21:18] But like [00:21:19] J.Lo [00:21:20] okay, she was a [00:21:21] fly girl for a few [00:21:22] years, [00:21:23] sure. I don't [00:21:24] think her and Rosie even [00:21:25] really got along like [00:21:26] that. [00:21:27] But [00:21:28] she [00:21:29] doesn't-- And [00:21:30] then aside from her [00:21:31] dating Diddy for a [00:21:32] little bit in there

Bruce Anthony: [00:21:33] She was Made in [00:21:34] Manhattan. That's what

Jay Aundrea: cup- [00:21:35] yeah. [00:21:36] Like it's, it's-- [00:21:37] she's not, she [00:21:38] never-- She [00:21:39] rarely even [00:21:40] plays [00:21:41] Latina.[00:21:42]

Bruce Anthony: So

Jay Aundrea: [00:21:43] It-- 'Cause Made in [00:21:44] America, she was Italian[00:21:45] [00:21:46]

Bruce Anthony: I, uh, [00:21:47] you know what? I'm-- [00:21:48] I, I don't wanna [00:21:49] detour 'cause I [00:21:50] wanna end this segment 'cause it's [00:21:51] starting to run long. [00:21:52] However,

Jay Aundrea: [00:21:53] America.[00:21:54]

Bruce Anthony: yeah, it was made in [00:21:55] Manhattan.

[00:21:56] Uh, [00:21:57] but [00:21:58] to [00:21:59] me, [00:22:00]

The Rock never plays a Black man and there is no real consensus 🎬🤔💯

Bruce Anthony: she has the same [00:22:01] issue that I have with The [00:22:02] Rock. [00:22:03] Rock don't [00:22:04] ever-- The Rock, [00:22:05] Dwayne "The Rock" [00:22:06] Johnson never plays a Black [00:22:07] man,

Jay Aundrea: [00:22:08] Yes. [00:22:09] And I don't think he's [00:22:10] ever had a Black love [00:22:11] interest. Y'all can [00:22:12] correct me if I'm[00:22:13]

Bruce Anthony: There was a [00:22:14] movie called [00:22:15] Rampage,

Jay Aundrea: [00:22:16] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:22:17] uh, where there [00:22:18] was a Black [00:22:19] love interest, but [00:22:20] he wa- it was flirtatious. It [00:22:21] was [00:22:22] not anything [00:22:23] physical.

Jay Aundrea: [00:22:24] Just

like, [00:22:25] uh, what was it? How

Bruce Anthony: [00:22:26] Hol- [00:22:27] he did come out [00:22:28] and, yeah, why [00:22:29] did I

Jay Aundrea: He f- [00:22:30] he flirted. [00:22:31] First of all, it's [00:22:32] Janet Jackson.[00:22:33]

Nobody's passing, [00:22:34] nobody's passing up [00:22:35] Janet [00:22:36] No one's passing [00:22:37] that escapade, [00:22:38] okay? They're [00:22:39] gonna take it [00:22:40] every time. [00:22:41] [00:22:42] So [00:22:43] but [00:22:44] even then, [00:22:45] I don't think they [00:22:46] ever had, like, any [00:22:47] physical contact. I [00:22:48] don't even think they shook [00:22:49] hands.

[00:22:50] Like, [00:22:51] so [00:22:52] yeah. I think it's [00:22:53] written into his [00:22:54] contract that he doesn't

[00:22:55] have to [00:22:56] touch bl- any [00:22:57] Black person but Kevin [00:22:58] Hart.

Bruce Anthony: [00:22:59] Uh, so ladies and gentlemen [00:23:00] out there, we, [00:23:01] uh... That's [00:23:02] crazy what you just [00:23:03] said. Ladies and [00:23:04] gentlemen, uh, there is no [00:23:05] consensus to this. [00:23:06] This is one... And [00:23:07] you'll [00:23:08] find that [00:23:09] the majority of [00:23:10] this show today, [00:23:11] there is no [00:23:12] consensus. There [00:23:13] is no right or [00:23:14] wrong answer.[00:23:15]

It's just how [00:23:16] people feel. [00:23:17] And how [00:23:18] I feel about Fat [00:23:19] Joe is complete [00:23:20] indifference, but that was [00:23:21] interesting [00:23:22] that you [00:23:23] had, being a [00:23:24] huge Fat [00:23:25] Joe fan like me, [00:23:26] how you had an [00:23:27] opposite reaction, [00:23:28] and that's, [00:23:29] that's [00:23:30] life

​

Bruce Anthony: [00:23:31] [00:23:32] [00:23:33] [00:23:34] [00:23:35] [00:23:36] [00:23:37] [00:23:38] so [00:23:39] Jay, let's talk about [00:23:40] it. [00:23:41] Lindsay [00:23:42] Clancy. [00:23:43] On [00:23:44] July-- On [00:23:45] January [00:23:46] 24th, 2023, [00:23:47] in [00:23:48] Massachusetts, [00:23:49] Lindsay Clancy, [00:23:50] who was [00:23:51] a labor and [00:23:52] delivery nurse, [00:23:53] had her [00:23:54] husband [00:23:55] go out and pick up [00:23:56] some food, [00:23:57] [00:23:58] and when [00:23:59] he was gone, [00:24:00] [00:24:01] prosecutors say she [00:24:02] strangled their [00:24:03] three [00:24:04] children.

[00:24:05] Cora was [00:24:06] five, Dawson [00:24:07] was three, [00:24:08] Kaylin [00:24:09] was eight [00:24:10] months [00:24:11] old.

Jay Aundrea: [00:24:12] Jesus

Bruce Anthony: She then [00:24:13] tried to take her own [00:24:14] life. [00:24:15] She [00:24:16] jumped out of a window [00:24:17] trying to commit [00:24:18] suicide [00:24:19] [00:24:20] Broke her [00:24:21] spine and is [00:24:22] now paralyzed from the [00:24:23] waist down. [00:24:24] Three [00:24:25] years later, we [00:24:26] finally get a trial, [00:24:27] and this month [00:24:28] the trial ended [00:24:29] without an [00:24:30] answer. [00:24:31] The jury was [00:24:32] deadlocked 11 to [00:24:33] one, leaning [00:24:34] towards [00:24:35] not [00:24:36] guilty, so the [00:24:37] judge declared a [00:24:38] mistrial.

The Lindsay Clancy case and a question that has no easy answer 🧠🚨💔

[00:24:39]

Bruce Anthony: And now we're [00:24:40] left with a [00:24:41] question this entire [00:24:42] case has been [00:24:43] wrestling with. [00:24:44] Was this a [00:24:45] mother who made a [00:24:46] decision to unalive her [00:24:47] children, [00:24:48] or [00:24:49] was this a mother in a [00:24:50] grip of a severe [00:24:51] mental illness [00:24:52] that nobody [00:24:53] around her [00:24:54] recognized until it was too [00:24:55] late? [00:24:56] And this [00:24:57] conversation [00:24:58] is going to get [00:24:59] extremely [00:25:00] uncomfortable [00:25:01] for some [00:25:02] [00:25:03] because you can look at [00:25:04] what happened [00:25:05] and feel like [00:25:06] both things can't [00:25:07] possibly be [00:25:08] true at the same [00:25:09] time. [00:25:10] But [00:25:11] that's [00:25:12] exactly why this [00:25:13] case is worth talking [00:25:14] about. Not [00:25:15] loudly, [00:25:16] not [00:25:17] emotionally, but [00:25:18] honestly. [00:25:19] Because sometimes the [00:25:20] hardest questions are not [00:25:21] about what happened, [00:25:22] they're [00:25:23] about whether we can [00:25:24] understand [00:25:25] why it happened [00:25:26] without [00:25:27] excusing it. [00:25:28] [00:25:29] So like I [00:25:30] said, she unalived [00:25:31] her three children, [00:25:32] [00:25:33] tried to [00:25:34] commit suicide, is [00:25:35] now paralyzed from the [00:25:36] waist down.[00:25:37]

They had [00:25:38] 80 witnesses [00:25:39] live stream the [00:25:40] trial. [00:25:41] [00:25:42] Jury was deadlocked. [00:25:43] One holdout. [00:25:44] They were [00:25:45] gonna go not guilty, but [00:25:46] the one holdout was [00:25:47] like, "Nah." [00:25:48] They're still pending [00:25:49] on if they're gonna [00:25:50] retry. [00:25:51] Uh, but both [00:25:52] Clancy [00:25:53] and her [00:25:54] ex-husband have filed [00:25:55] malpractice [00:25:56] lawsuits. [00:25:57] Now, [00:25:58] there's an important detail [00:25:59] that I left out.[00:26:00]

[00:26:01] But what's the [00:26:02] first question [00:26:03] that comes to your mind? [00:26:04] I'm curious to see [00:26:05] if it's the first [00:26:06] question that came to [00:26:07] my mind when [00:26:08] somebody was talking to me about [00:26:09] this earlier[00:26:10]

Jay Aundrea: The [00:26:11] first [00:26:12] question

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. What's the [00:26:13] first question [00:26:14] that comes to your [00:26:15] mind [00:26:16] about this case?[00:26:17] [00:26:18] [00:26:19]

Jay Aundrea: I [00:26:20] have so many [00:26:21] questions. [00:26:22] [00:26:23] How[00:26:24] [00:26:25] [00:26:26]

How [00:26:27] how are [00:26:28] they [00:26:29] [00:26:30] deadlocked?

Bruce Anthony: [00:26:31] So [00:26:32] The [00:26:33]

The random car radio chat that pulled Bruce into the Clancy case 🚗📻🤔

Bruce Anthony: reason why we're talking [00:26:34] about this, because this [00:26:35] was not [00:26:36] on the run to [00:26:37] do today, [00:26:38] was because I was having a [00:26:39] conversation with [00:26:40] a gentleman. I'm [00:26:41] gonna be gender [00:26:42] specific for this [00:26:43] conversation because I think [00:26:44] that's important [00:26:45] for the later [00:26:46] conversation we're gonna have about [00:26:47] this.

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.[00:26:48]

Bruce Anthony: And [00:26:49] this gentleman said, "Have you heard [00:26:50] about this case?" [00:26:51] And I was like, "No, I [00:26:52] haven't." He's like, "It's [00:26:53] all over the news [00:26:54] and blah, blah, blah." I was like, [00:26:55] "Hey, your algorithm and my [00:26:56] algorithm are [00:26:57] completely different. [00:26:58] So what'll [00:26:59] pop up on yours is [00:27:00] not gonna pop up on [00:27:01] mine." "Yeah, it was a [00:27:02] woman strangled her [00:27:03] kids and, and, [00:27:04] and people, [00:27:05] people, women are doing [00:27:06] out GoFundMes [00:27:07] and stuff for like [00:27:08] protecting her [00:27:09] and stuff like that.

Isn't that [00:27:10] crazy?" And I was like, [00:27:11] "Hmm, [00:27:12] seems like there's more [00:27:13] to the story." [00:27:14] Like, why would [00:27:15] people [00:27:16] do that for [00:27:17] obviously somebody [00:27:18] who hurt their children? [00:27:19] Because [00:27:20] supposedly there's [00:27:21] one thing that we [00:27:22] stand on in this [00:27:23] country, and it's don't mess [00:27:24] with the kids, [00:27:25] unless the [00:27:26] perpetrators are [00:27:27] white males with [00:27:28] money.

But [00:27:29] don't, don't mess [00:27:30] with kids. So I [00:27:31] said, "Something doesn't make [00:27:32] sense to me. [00:27:33] [00:27:34] Why would they [00:27:35] be trying to do a [00:27:36] GoFundMe and [00:27:37] why would they defend [00:27:38] her and why was this [00:27:39] jury [00:27:40] deadlocked leaning [00:27:41] towards not guilty?" [00:27:42] I was like, "It's... [00:27:43] I, I feel like you're [00:27:44] leaving out something in the [00:27:45] story." "Nope, I'm not [00:27:46] leaving out anything."

I said, [00:27:47] "You are." And [00:27:48] at first I was just like, [00:27:49] oh, a mom killing [00:27:50] her kids. This is a [00:27:51] story that we hear [00:27:52] almost every year. [00:27:53] There's nothing... [00:27:54] It's a sad [00:27:55] story, [00:27:56] but I'm almost [00:27:57] numb to it [00:27:58] because it happens [00:27:59] so often. [00:28:00] [00:28:01] But I am [00:28:02] curious, [00:28:03] 'cause it was a [00:28:04] bug up my ass [00:28:05] why they were [00:28:06] doing [00:28:07] GoFundMes to help her out [00:28:08] and [00:28:09] deadlock.[00:28:10]

Guess [00:28:11] what I found?[00:28:12]

Jay Aundrea: What's [00:28:13]

Postpartum psychosis, not depression, is the detail people miss 🧠💊🚨

Bruce Anthony: Key thing, [00:28:14] postpartum, [00:28:15]

Jay Aundrea: [00:28:16] Mm.

Bruce Anthony: depression, [00:28:17] [00:28:18] psychosis. I'll get into [00:28:19] the difference of it [00:28:20] later. But [00:28:21] I said, "Oh, [00:28:22] okay," [00:28:23] so not [00:28:24] condoning it, [00:28:25] but I knew there [00:28:26] had to be an [00:28:27] explanation of [00:28:28] why [00:28:29] somebody would [00:28:30] do that to her [00:28:31] kids [00:28:32] and [00:28:33] other people [00:28:34] are [00:28:35] defending her. [00:28:36] Not defending her [00:28:37] actions, [00:28:38] defending her.[00:28:39]

Like, and the [00:28:40] person was like, "I don't care. [00:28:41] Kill the kids." And I was like, "I [00:28:42] hear that. I [00:28:43] hear that. I, [00:28:44] I'm with you on that. [00:28:45] However, it seems [00:28:46] like there's more to the [00:28:47] story." "Not [00:28:48] for me." I was like, "It [00:28:49] didn't seem like you [00:28:50] did any [00:28:51] research 'cause you couldn't [00:28:52] tell me [00:28:53] anything [00:28:54] about what was going [00:28:55] on." [00:28:56] "Well, I heard about it [00:28:57] when I was driving in [00:28:58] today and they was talking [00:28:59] about it on the radio.[00:29:00]

And you know, some [00:29:01] people, some [00:29:02] guys are confronting their [00:29:03] women about it 'cause [00:29:04] women are out here defending [00:29:05] her, and some guys are [00:29:06] confronting their women about it, [00:29:07] asking them, 'Hey, do [00:29:08] you defend her?' And if [00:29:09] they do, they're [00:29:10] breaking up with them." I said, "Oh, [00:29:11] okay, well that's, [00:29:12] hmm, a really [00:29:13] narrow form of thinking [00:29:14] because it's [00:29:15] not taken into [00:29:16] context [00:29:17] what [00:29:18] the woman [00:29:19] is going through."

I was like, "Did [00:29:20] you, do you understand [00:29:21] what postpartum depression [00:29:22] is?" "Yeah, I ki- [00:29:23] yeah, I know what it is." [00:29:24] "Do you? [00:29:25] I don't [00:29:26] think you do." [00:29:27] And it's... [00:29:28] A- and I [00:29:29] found when I [00:29:30] was talking to him [00:29:31] It was [00:29:32] postpartum depression. [00:29:33] When I [00:29:34] dig, dug [00:29:35] deeper and did the research [00:29:36] before coming on the [00:29:37] show, no, [00:29:38] it was [00:29:39] postpartum psychosis.[00:29:40]

I'm gonna get into the [00:29:41] difference of it later. [00:29:42] But that [00:29:43] was the original [00:29:44] thing. Like, wait a minute, [00:29:45] how did it get found [00:29:46] not guilty and [00:29:47] why were there-- or [00:29:48] Costa not guilty, and why were [00:29:49] there people [00:29:50] defending her? [00:29:51] Now, after giving you [00:29:52] that information, [00:29:53] do some [00:29:54] of your questions [00:29:55] change? Do they stay [00:29:56] the same?

What [00:29:57] is your thought [00:29:58] process in this entire [00:29:59] thing?

Jay Aundrea: [00:30:00] No [00:30:01] [00:30:02] actually I'm [00:30:03] gonna disagree with [00:30:04] what you said [00:30:05] earlier. You were [00:30:06] saying that [00:30:07] [00:30:08] both things [00:30:09] could not be [00:30:10] true, but the f- [00:30:11] but the fact of the [00:30:12] matter is, is that both [00:30:13] things are [00:30:14] true, that[00:30:15]

Bruce Anthony: No, I [00:30:16] said people [00:30:17] think [00:30:18] two things can't [00:30:19] be true at the same [00:30:20] time. I didn't

Jay Aundrea: Oh, [00:30:21] got you. [00:30:22] Yeah. Well, they, well, [00:30:23] both things are [00:30:24] true. One, that [00:30:25] she, [00:30:26] uh, [00:30:27] allegedly was [00:30:28] suffering [00:30:29] from postpartum [00:30:30] psychosis, [00:30:31] and [00:30:32] two, that she's [00:30:33] allegedly a murderer. Like, [00:30:34] both of those [00:30:35] things...

Bruce Anthony: allegedly. She [00:30:36] admits to it. [00:30:37] She did it. Yeah,

Jay Aundrea: [00:30:38] then [00:30:39] she's also a [00:30:40] murderer. So, [00:30:41] [00:30:42] [00:30:43] [00:30:44] you know, [00:30:45] [00:30:46] we don't talk [00:30:47] enough [00:30:48] about [00:30:49] postpartum [00:30:50] mental health in this [00:30:51] country, [00:30:52] especial- [00:30:53] or I [00:30:54] don't know.

I, I [00:30:55] guess I can't comment [00:30:56] on other countries, but [00:30:57] like, I don't [00:30:58] think we talk [00:30:59] about postpartum [00:31:00] mental health [00:31:01] enough [00:31:02] and [00:31:03] how [00:31:04] really serious [00:31:05] it can be, [00:31:06] [00:31:07] not just [00:31:08] to the children, but [00:31:09] also to the [00:31:10] mother [00:31:11] and, [00:31:12] and [00:31:13] the [00:31:14] surrounding community, [00:31:15] you know, family and [00:31:16] friends and things. [00:31:17] [00:31:18] [00:31:19] But I will [00:31:20] say [00:31:21] [00:31:22] more [00:31:23] often than [00:31:24] not, I, I [00:31:25] don't have the exact [00:31:26] statistic, but more [00:31:27] often than not, [00:31:28] [00:31:29] women going through [00:31:30] postpartum [00:31:31] depression and postpartum [00:31:32] psychosis [00:31:33] do not commit [00:31:34] [00:31:35] infanticide.[00:31:36] [00:31:37]

[00:31:38] I know this is [00:31:39] true [00:31:40] for an [00:31:41] adult, that it [00:31:42] takes about three [00:31:43] to four minutes [00:31:44] to strangle someone [00:31:45] to death. [00:31:46] I don't know if [00:31:47] that's the same, [00:31:48] [00:31:49] [00:31:50] for [00:31:51] children, [00:31:52] but [00:31:53] [00:31:54] it's not quick [00:31:55] [00:31:56] [00:31:57] And there were [00:31:58] three children.[00:31:59]

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.[00:32:00] [00:32:01]

Jay Aundrea: [00:32:02] And so [00:32:03] in my [00:32:04] mind, there was [00:32:05] time [00:32:06] [00:32:07] To [00:32:08] stop. [00:32:09] Like, and there was [00:32:10] also time to [00:32:11] think, [00:32:12] [00:32:13] right? [00:32:14] Because, [00:32:15] because [00:32:16] you sent your [00:32:17] husband [00:32:18] away intentionally [00:32:19] [00:32:20] [00:32:21] [00:32:22] So again, my [00:32:23] same question [00:32:24] is why were they [00:32:25] deadlocked?

I can [00:32:26] have-- I [00:32:27] can hold sympathy [00:32:28] and empathy for [00:32:29] her going through [00:32:30] postpartum [00:32:31] psychosis [00:32:32] and [00:32:33] also hold her [00:32:34] accountable and [00:32:35] responsible [00:32:36] for [00:32:37] her own [00:32:38] actions. [00:32:39] Because [00:32:40] [00:32:41] if you knew [00:32:42] you were at that [00:32:43] point or in that [00:32:44] state [00:32:45] [00:32:46] [00:32:47] The choice is [00:32:48] to [00:32:49] not [00:32:50] put yourself in a [00:32:51] position where you're alone [00:32:52] with your children [00:32:53]

She sought help again and again and got overmedicated instead 💊🏥😞

Bruce Anthony: We'll get into [00:32:54] that later. But if [00:32:55] you notice, [00:32:56] one of the key facts [00:32:57] that I brought up is [00:32:58] that both her [00:32:59] and her [00:33:00] ex-husband are filing [00:33:01] malpractice [00:33:02] lawsuits. And the [00:33:03] reason why they're [00:33:04] filing [00:33:05] malpractice lawsuits [00:33:06] is because [00:33:07] she sought help. [00:33:08] [00:33:09] Uh, the exact [00:33:10] [00:33:11] [00:33:12] part, Defense [00:33:13] Reddington, she sought [00:33:14] help repeatedly.

[00:33:15] Psychiatrists, [00:33:16] therapists, [00:33:17] outpatient program, [00:33:18] five in- [00:33:19] inpatient days [00:33:20] at McLean [00:33:21] Hospital, was [00:33:22] prescribed multiple [00:33:23] medications, and [00:33:24] was [00:33:25] overmedicated rather than [00:33:26] properly treated. [00:33:27] The forensic [00:33:28] psychologist [00:33:29] testifies she was [00:33:30] in postpartum [00:33:31] psychosis and [00:33:32] reportedly [00:33:33] hearing a male voice [00:33:34] ord- ordering [00:33:35] her to kill the [00:33:36] children and [00:33:37] herself.

Police [00:33:38] testimony about her [00:33:39] phone and computer [00:33:40] searches, which [00:33:41] were [00:33:42] psychosis, [00:33:43] hallucinations, methods [00:33:44] of self-harm, were [00:33:45] used to show a [00:33:46] mind coming [00:33:47] apart, not a plan. [00:33:48] The [00:33:49] DA's [00:33:50] argument [00:33:51] was she was coherent [00:33:52] enough to plan, [00:33:53] so something that you [00:33:54] said. [00:33:55] Uh, the state [00:33:56] signature claim [00:33:57] is that she [00:33:58] sent Patrick out [00:33:59] for food to buy [00:34:00] herself time, [00:34:01] and then their [00:34:02] forensic [00:34:03] psychiatrist testified it would [00:34:04] be very, very [00:34:05] unusual [00:34:06] for someone with [00:34:07] psychosis to [00:34:08] hear a commanding [00:34:09] voice only [00:34:10] once.

[00:34:11] So [00:34:12] the [00:34:13] jury was [00:34:14] 11 to [00:34:15] one. It was, [00:34:16] [00:34:17] [00:34:18] nine [00:34:19] women [00:34:20] and three [00:34:21] men, I [00:34:22] believe. So [00:34:23] the lone [00:34:24] holdout was a man. [00:34:25] But this [00:34:26] was some [00:34:27] person who [00:34:28] sought [00:34:29] help. So [00:34:30] as I started digging [00:34:31] deeper, and [00:34:32] remember, as I'm [00:34:33] talking to this [00:34:34] person earlier [00:34:35] today, [00:34:36] and we're [00:34:37] talking, I'm focused [00:34:38] on postpartum [00:34:39] depression.

Jay Aundrea: [00:34:40] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: And, [00:34:41]

Where was the husband while everything was quietly falling apart 🤔🏠💔

Bruce Anthony: and then it got to the [00:34:42] point I was like, [00:34:43] "Yo, wait a minute.

[00:34:44] Where's the husband in all [00:34:45] this?" [00:34:46] Because [00:34:47] if I [00:34:48] know [00:34:49] that my [00:34:50] wife, the mother of my [00:34:51] kids, [00:34:52] is [00:34:53] battling this, [00:34:54] and I know [00:34:55] specifically what she's [00:34:56] been battling [00:34:57] because of [00:34:58] all the [00:34:59] doctors and therapists and [00:35:00] [00:35:01] inpatient [00:35:02] help [00:35:03] that she's [00:35:04] gotten [00:35:05] [00:35:06] I [00:35:07] would [00:35:08] never leave her [00:35:09] alone with the kids. [00:35:10] Fact of the matter [00:35:11] is, I might [00:35:12] not have the kids [00:35:13] in the house [00:35:14] until [00:35:15] she's [00:35:16] cleared [00:35:17] of everything that [00:35:18] she's got going [00:35:19] on.

[00:35:20] I'm not putting any [00:35:21] blame on the husband. [00:35:22] [00:35:23] I'm just saying [00:35:24] there's a bigger [00:35:25] picture here [00:35:26] that I think a [00:35:27] lot of [00:35:28] people don't look [00:35:29] at because [00:35:30] the headline is [00:35:31] so horrific[00:35:32]

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. [00:35:33] [00:35:34] I [00:35:35] think the, [00:35:36] th- [00:35:37] [00:35:38] the [00:35:39] defensive claim of [00:35:40] [00:35:41] overmedication, I mean, that's a [00:35:42] matter of opinion, [00:35:43] right? Like, [00:35:44] they got an [00:35:45] expert [00:35:46] to say that she was [00:35:47] over-medicated. You can [00:35:48] easily find an [00:35:49] expert to say that she [00:35:50] was correctly [00:35:51] medicated, and you can find one [00:35:52] to say she was [00:35:53] under-medicated. [00:35:54] So [00:35:55] that's not, [00:35:56] [00:35:57] [00:35:58] that's neither here nor there.[00:35:59]

I, [00:36:00] [00:36:01] I feel [00:36:02] like [00:36:03] it [00:36:04] makes sense that she [00:36:05] went and sought help. [00:36:06] She is, [00:36:07] uh, you said she was [00:36:08] a labor and [00:36:09] delivery [00:36:10] nurse? [00:36:11] Yeah. So I, [00:36:12] it makes sense [00:36:13] to me that [00:36:14] being in the [00:36:15] healthcare field that [00:36:16] she did [00:36:17] seek help, [00:36:18] and [00:36:19] honestly, I-- [00:36:20] it's a really, [00:36:21] really hard thing [00:36:22] to seek help for [00:36:23] because, [00:36:24] [00:36:25] you know, there's so much [00:36:26] pressure [00:36:27] on [00:36:28] mothers [00:36:29] to [00:36:30] [00:36:31] be, like, [00:36:32] [00:36:33] perfect, [00:36:34] right?

[00:36:35] And [00:36:36] when [00:36:37] you're going through a [00:36:38] mental health [00:36:39] crisis, you're, [00:36:40] you're not your best self. [00:36:41] So it could, [00:36:42] there could be a lot of [00:36:43] shame and guilt [00:36:44] around it. So [00:36:45] I really actually [00:36:46] commend her [00:36:47] for [00:36:48] going to seek help [00:36:49] as aggressively [00:36:50] as she [00:36:51] did. [00:36:52] [00:36:53] [00:36:54] nevertheless, while I hold [00:36:55] space for that, [00:36:56] [00:36:57] nevertheless, [00:36:58] there [00:36:59] was [00:37:00] a [00:37:01] plan. [00:37:02] [00:37:03] She had made a [00:37:04] decision that she [00:37:05] was going to [00:37:06] listen to this [00:37:07] voice that she said she [00:37:08] heard, [00:37:09] send [00:37:10] her husband [00:37:11] away, [00:37:12] murder her [00:37:13] children, and try [00:37:14] to murder [00:37:15] herself. [00:37:16] [00:37:17] I don't even know if I [00:37:18] can say the M word. [00:37:19] Unalive. [00:37:20] Sorry.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. [00:37:21] Well, you already said [00:37:22] it. I'm

not gonna bleep it, [00:37:23] out. Yeah. [00:37:24] And I think it's, [00:37:25] it's, it's [00:37:26] apropos for [00:37:27] [00:37:28] discussion. Let's not minimize [00:37:29] it.

Jay Aundrea: [00:37:30] Right.

Bruce Anthony: what it was[00:37:31]

Jay Aundrea: [00:37:32] Right. And I [00:37:33] wonder, [00:37:34] would we [00:37:35] even be [00:37:36] having this [00:37:37] conversation had she [00:37:38] succeeded? And that's [00:37:39] a good and a [00:37:40] bad thing, right? [00:37:41] [00:37:42] One, it's, it's [00:37:43] not [00:37:44] people-- [00:37:45] I don't [00:37:46] wanna say [00:37:47] taking [00:37:48] advantage of the [00:37:49] diagnosis [00:37:50] as in terms of [00:37:51] using it as a [00:37:52] defense, [00:37:53] but I also [00:37:54] think [00:37:55] it would've been [00:37:56] a bad thing that we've [00:37:57] not talked about [00:37:58] it because [00:37:59] it is [00:38:00] a [00:38:01] very [00:38:02] [00:38:03] debilitating mental [00:38:04] health condition that [00:38:05] can [00:38:06] result in [00:38:07] harm to [00:38:08] oneself or harm to one's [00:38:09] child.

So [00:38:10] like[00:38:11] [00:38:12] [00:38:13]

I, I thi- [00:38:14] [00:38:15] it's a tough, tough [00:38:16] situation. [00:38:17] [00:38:18] I, [00:38:19] in my [00:38:20] personal opinion, I [00:38:21] would've probably been that [00:38:22] dissenting vote[00:38:23]

Bruce Anthony: Hmm. [00:38:24] [00:38:25] I, I don't [00:38:26] know [00:38:27] what [00:38:28] I would've done. [00:38:29] I would've [00:38:30] asked, "Can we [00:38:31] find her guilty but send her [00:38:32] to a hospital?" [00:38:33] Because it's [00:38:34] clear that she [00:38:35] needs help. Uh, uh, [00:38:36] uh, but before [00:38:37] we even get into [00:38:38] that, 'cause, uh, uh, [00:38:39] I have to be careful [00:38:40] here 'cause [00:38:41] it kinda [00:38:42] seems like [00:38:43] I'm [00:38:44] on d- [00:38:45] defending her[00:38:46]

and [00:38:47] minimizing what [00:38:48] she did.

I'm [00:38:49] not. If it's coming off [00:38:50] as that, ladies and [00:38:51] gentlemen, that's not [00:38:52] my [00:38:53] point. [00:38:54] My [00:38:55] point is [00:38:56] that we [00:38:57] need to [00:38:58] [00:38:59] focus in on the [00:39:00] mental health [00:39:01] aspect of [00:39:02] women [00:39:03] [00:39:04] [00:39:05] after they give-- [00:39:06] [00:39:07] after and before they give birth. [00:39:08] And the reason [00:39:09] why I was real [00:39:10] specific [00:39:11] with bringing [00:39:12] up the [00:39:13] gender of the person that I [00:39:14] was talking to [00:39:15] was because [00:39:16] they were so [00:39:17] dismissive of [00:39:18]

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. [00:39:19]

Bruce Anthony: depression.[00:39:20]

Jay Aundrea: Yes

Bruce Anthony: And [00:39:21] I was like, how [00:39:22] can you be [00:39:23] dismissive [00:39:24] of [00:39:25] anything that you've [00:39:26] never gone through? [00:39:27] I don't

care. [00:39:28] Never [00:39:29] will. And their issue [00:39:30] was really black and [00:39:31] white. I don't care, [00:39:32] end result. And [00:39:33] I was like, I get that. [00:39:34] Like [00:39:35] Bruce and Bruce love the [00:39:36] kids. Bruce and [00:39:37] Bruce don't want [00:39:38] nothing bad to [00:39:39] ever happen to [00:39:40] kids.

They are the [00:39:41] most innocent [00:39:42] souls [00:39:43] before, [00:39:44] you know, they hit the [00:39:45] teenage years, and then that's [00:39:46] when they, you know, [00:39:47] y-you can do whatever you [00:39:48] want with them after that point. I don't [00:39:49] really care. But the [00:39:50] little, the little [00:39:51] babies, the little [00:39:52] babies, no, we [00:39:53] gotta cherish them and let [00:39:54]

Jay Aundrea: the

Bruce Anthony: their [00:39:55] childhood.

Jay Aundrea: still [00:39:56] children, ladies and gentlemen.[00:39:57]

Bruce Anthony: Say what?[00:39:58]

Jay Aundrea: Teenagers are [00:39:59] still children, ladies

and [00:40:00] gentlemen. you can't [00:40:01] just, you can't [00:40:02] just throw them away 'cause they got [00:40:03] attitudes

Bruce Anthony: them... And, [00:40:04] uh, you could throw them the hell [00:40:05] away, and I'm [00:40:06] including my teenage [00:40:07] self, uh,

Jay Aundrea: and [00:40:08] they... [00:40:09] Oh, you wanna talk [00:40:10] about a teenager with an [00:40:11] attitude?

Bruce Anthony: You know [00:40:12] what? We not talking about me [00:40:13] less, uh, [00:40:14] yeah, I

Jay Aundrea: Yeah, [00:40:15] me. No, me.[00:40:16]

Bruce Anthony: it's not...[00:40:17]

Jay Aundrea: Yeah[00:40:18] [00:40:19]

Bruce Anthony: so I don't [00:40:20] want to, to, [00:40:21] to... I'm not [00:40:22] minimizing that,[00:40:23]

but the [00:40:24] dismissive [00:40:25] nature that I've [00:40:26] seen this [00:40:27] conversation [00:40:28] [00:40:29] with [00:40:30] men

Jay Aundrea: [00:40:31] Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: [00:40:32] this [00:40:33] topic [00:40:34] has been so [00:40:35] disheartening 'cause [00:40:36] I'm like, oh, you don't [00:40:37] have no space [00:40:38] for women at [00:40:39] all.

None. [00:40:40] And because let [00:40:41] me... Uh, this is [00:40:42] what gets missed. [00:40:43]

Postpartum psychosis is more common than SIDS and still ignored 🚨🧠📉

Bruce Anthony: Postpartum [00:40:44] psychosis [00:40:45] affects an estimated [00:40:46] one to two [00:40:47] people, [00:40:48] women, [00:40:49] for every 1,000 [00:40:50] births. So you say, [00:40:51] "Well, that's not that big of a [00:40:52] deal." Hold on. [00:40:53] For [00:40:54] scale, that [00:40:55] is more common [00:40:56] than [00:40:57] SIDS,

Jay Aundrea: [00:40:58] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:40:59] okay? [00:41:00] Postpartum [00:41:01] depression, a [00:41:02] different and far [00:41:03] more common [00:41:04] condition, affects [00:41:05] roughly 10% [00:41:06] [00:41:07] mothers.

Jay Aundrea: [00:41:08] Yeah

Bruce Anthony: [00:41:09] People confuse the two [00:41:10] constantly, and I'm [00:41:11] gonna say [00:41:12] I didn't confuse the two [00:41:13] constantly 'cause this is the first [00:41:14] time I've heard about [00:41:15] postpartum [00:41:16] psychosis. [00:41:17] I've heard [00:41:18] depression before, [00:41:19] not psychosis. [00:41:20] It's not [00:41:21] a [00:41:22] stand, uh, standalone [00:41:23] diagnosis in the [00:41:24] DSM, which experts [00:41:25] say is a [00:41:26] direct cause of [00:41:27] missed cases. [00:41:28] If the [00:41:29] book doctors [00:41:30] use does not [00:41:31] name it, [00:41:32] clinicians [00:41:33] may not even [00:41:34] recognize it. [00:41:35] Advocates have been [00:41:36] pushing for it to be [00:41:37] listed separately. [00:41:38] It is [00:41:39] highly treatable when [00:41:40] caught. [00:41:41] Lithium [00:41:42] eases symptoms for [00:41:43] something like [00:41:44] 98% of the [00:41:45] patients in a [00:41:46] cited research, [00:41:47] and electric [00:41:48] shock therapy, [00:41:49] but, you know, that's not [00:41:50] widely available [00:41:51] and not, you know...

Jay Aundrea: [00:41:52] And [00:41:53] TBH, [00:41:54] should we [00:41:55] do some more [00:41:56] research on [00:41:57] electroshock therapy, [00:41:58] like more [00:41:59] current [00:42:00] research? I don't know [00:42:01] when the latest [00:42:02] thing on [00:42:03] electroshock was published, [00:42:04] but it [00:42:05] feels like a [00:42:06] early 1900s [00:42:07] type of thing. [00:42:08] [00:42:09] Late [00:42:10] 1800s. [00:42:11] It don't feel [00:42:12]

Bruce Anthony: but [00:42:13] the, uh... [00:42:14] This isn't a new [00:42:15] case, and so another[00:42:16]

[00:42:17] argument that the person that I [00:42:18] was talking to that [00:42:19] introduced me to this topic was [00:42:20] saying it was a slippery slope. [00:42:21] You know, [00:42:22] if one person gets away [00:42:23] with it and found not [00:42:24] guilty. They didn't say [00:42:25] slippery slope. They were [00:42:26] describing it, and I said, "What you're [00:42:27] describing is a [00:42:28] slippery slope."

Okay. [00:42:29] If one person gets [00:42:30] away with it, then other people [00:42:31] try to do it. And this [00:42:32] has already happened two [00:42:33] decades ago [00:42:34] with Andrea Yates. [00:42:35] Uh, she [00:42:36] drowned her five children [00:42:37] in Texas during a [00:42:38] postpartum [00:42:39] psychosis and was eventually [00:42:40] found not guilty by [00:42:41] reason of insanities. [00:42:42] Experts [00:42:43] say [00:42:44] awareness has grown [00:42:45] since then, [00:42:46] but still very much is [00:42:47] needed, [00:42:48] and that's the [00:42:49] reason why I wanted to [00:42:50] have this [00:42:51] conversation, because I feel [00:42:52] like [00:42:53] people don't know what [00:42:54] the awareness is.

[00:42:55] Postpartum [00:42:56] depression is a mood [00:42:57] disorder, [00:42:58] right? [00:42:59] Postpartum [00:43:00] psychosis is a [00:43:01] completely different [00:43:02] animal and is, [00:43:03] is [00:43:04] genuinely a psychotic [00:43:05] emergency, [00:43:06] [00:43:07] right? So it, it, it [00:43:08] leads to hearing [00:43:09] voices, paranoia, [00:43:10] confusion, [00:43:11] [00:43:12] delusions, [00:43:13] hallu- hallucinations, rapid [00:43:14] swings between [00:43:15] mania and [00:43:16] depression. It [00:43:17] sounds [00:43:18] freaking horrible.

[00:43:19] It sounds [00:43:20] like the [00:43:21] bipolar [00:43:22] of [00:43:23] [00:43:24] [00:43:25] w- [00:43:26] birth [00:43:27] of women [00:43:28] having birth. That's what it [00:43:29] sounds like. [00:43:30] It's, uh... It sound like [00:43:31] something I don't [00:43:32] never wanna have[00:43:33]

Jay Aundrea: [00:43:34] And what I [00:43:35] find [00:43:36] interesting, I'm looking at it [00:43:37] now, [00:43:38] [00:43:39] there's a article [00:43:40] in Cleveland [00:43:41] Clinic [00:43:42] on, uh, [00:43:43] postpartum [00:43:44] psychosis, is the [00:43:45] symptoms typically [00:43:46] appear within [00:43:47] 48 to 72 [00:43:48] hours up to two weeks [00:43:49] after delivery, and her [00:43:50] baby was eight months old.[00:43:51]

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm. [00:43:52] Well, she [00:43:53] says she, they said she was [00:43:54] try- she'd been trying to [00:43:55] get help[00:43:56] [00:43:57]

Jay Aundrea: I, [00:43:58] uh, [00:43:59] it, what it... [00:44:00] [00:44:01] [00:44:02] So it is a, [00:44:03] postpartum [00:44:04] psychosis is a [00:44:05] mental health [00:44:06] emergency.[00:44:07]

Like [00:44:08] it, it, [00:44:09] it's like you said, [00:44:10] that, that depression [00:44:11] is a more, [00:44:12] uh, it's a mood [00:44:13] disorder, it's more [00:44:14] prolonged. [00:44:15] [00:44:16] Psychosis, the postpartum [00:44:17] psychosis to me [00:44:18] feels [00:44:19] more [00:44:20] like [00:44:21] this, this is [00:44:22] happening. Like it, [00:44:23] like something [00:44:24] clicks and it, this is, [00:44:25] this

is happening, [00:44:26] Okay, So [00:44:27] like, [00:44:28] and I don't know [00:44:29] that that's the case [00:44:30] because again, [00:44:31] I haven't, I, [00:44:32] I'm doing [00:44:33] very [00:44:34] [00:44:35] rudimentary research. I'm also [00:44:36] not a [00:44:37] psychologist or a [00:44:38] psychiatrist or any [00:44:39] kind of [00:44:40] mental health researcher, [00:44:41] so you can take all of [00:44:42] that with a grain of salt.[00:44:43]

Bruce Anthony: but this is my [00:44:44] entire point [00:44:45] of having this [00:44:46] conversation. We're [00:44:47] talking about it. [00:44:48] You're openly [00:44:49] admitting, "I'm [00:44:50] not that [00:44:51] well-versed [00:44:52] in this." [00:44:53] But there are other [00:44:54] people [00:44:55] coming to [00:44:56] absolute conclusions [00:44:57] and results and [00:44:58] answers [00:44:59] without having all [00:45:00] of the [00:45:01] information. [00:45:02] And you're not [00:45:03] doing that. You're saying, [00:45:04] "I [00:45:05] probably would've [00:45:06] leaned [00:45:07] towards that [00:45:08] guilty, [00:45:09] [00:45:10] but this is a very [00:45:11] complicated [00:45:12] situation."

Jay Aundrea: [00:45:13] complicated [00:45:14] situation. I think I [00:45:15] probably [00:45:16] might have [00:45:17] led-- leaned [00:45:18] more towards not [00:45:19] guilty [00:45:20] if it was [00:45:21] like a spur of [00:45:22] the moment type of [00:45:23] thing. Like, [00:45:24] like, a, [00:45:25] a, a, [00:45:26] you know, [00:45:27] the [00:45:28] typical idea [00:45:29] you get is like the [00:45:30] shaken baby, [00:45:31] like, right? Like [00:45:32] the baby's [00:45:33] crying, you're-- [00:45:34] you [00:45:35] fall off the edge [00:45:36] because you've already [00:45:37] been teetering and [00:45:38] like now, like [00:45:39] this is the last [00:45:40] straw, [00:45:41] shake the baby, like [00:45:42] in, in a [00:45:43] psych-- in a, in [00:45:44] a, in a, [00:45:45] in a [00:45:46] state of [00:45:47] psychosis that [00:45:48] happens, like [00:45:49] I would [00:45:50] say [00:45:51] probably not guilty [00:45:52] by reason of [00:45:53] insanity.

But [00:45:54] the [00:45:55] facts of this [00:45:56] particular [00:45:57] case,

Bruce Anthony: The [00:45:58] planning

Jay Aundrea: the [00:45:59] planning of [00:46:00] it, [00:46:01] the way [00:46:02] that she [00:46:03] chose [00:46:04] to analyze [00:46:05] three [00:46:06] children,

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.[00:46:07] [00:46:08] [00:46:09]

Jay Aundrea: It could have [00:46:10] been like a l- [00:46:11] like [00:46:12] I feel [00:46:13] like you just could have [00:46:14] found a, [00:46:15] [00:46:16] a less [00:46:17] torturous way to do [00:46:18] it. [00:46:19] [00:46:20] Where, [00:46:21] where you think [00:46:22] about Andrea [00:46:23] Yates with the drowning [00:46:24] and then in [00:46:25] this case [00:46:26] s- [00:46:27] strangulation, like [00:46:28] these are [00:46:29] not [00:46:30] easy [00:46:31] ways [00:46:32] to [00:46:33] go.

Uh, [00:46:34] uh, you know what I'm

Bruce Anthony: [00:46:35] you're having a mental [00:46:36] health crisis...

Jay Aundrea: [00:46:37] quick

Bruce Anthony: [00:46:38] Right. But when you're [00:46:39] having a mental health [00:46:40] crisis, [00:46:41] you're not clear-minded[00:46:42]

Jay Aundrea: But [00:46:43] she's got a, uh, [00:46:44] she's gotta wrangle a [00:46:45] three and a [00:46:46] five-year-old[00:46:47]

Bruce Anthony: [00:46:48] Yeah. [00:46:49] Look, uh[00:46:50]

Jay Aundrea: Like [00:46:51] this, th- it [00:46:52] just feels [00:46:53] like the, uh, [00:46:54] [00:46:55] in that [00:46:56] time [00:46:57] [00:46:58] [00:46:59] And again, I [00:47:00] don't know. I've [00:47:01] never [00:47:02] had [00:47:03] any kind [00:47:04] of [00:47:05] event leading [00:47:06] to psychosis [00:47:07] or, uh, uh, [00:47:08] anything like [00:47:09] that, and I [00:47:10] haven't had children. [00:47:11] [00:47:12] But it just [00:47:13] feels like in [00:47:14] the s- in that [00:47:15] span of [00:47:16] time, [00:47:17] [00:47:18] even [00:47:19] before [00:47:20] sending her husband out [00:47:21] to eat, if [00:47:22] she had just said, [00:47:23] "I'm [00:47:24] hearing something [00:47:25] [00:47:26] that is, [00:47:27] [00:47:28] that is making me [00:47:29] want to [00:47:30] do this [00:47:31] thing.

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.[00:47:32] [00:47:33]

Jay Aundrea: Do not [00:47:34] leave me alone [00:47:35] with our children." Like, [00:47:36] that was [00:47:37] also a choice.

Bruce Anthony: [00:47:38] Yeah

Jay Aundrea: I [00:47:39] feel like too [00:47:40] many [00:47:41] choices, [00:47:42] specific choices were [00:47:43] made that [00:47:44] I don't [00:47:45] see [00:47:46] not [00:47:47] guilty. But [00:47:48] again, I didn't hear all [00:47:49] the evidence. [00:47:50] I [00:47:51] wasn't there for all the [00:47:52] testimony, [00:47:53] the 80 [00:47:54] witnesses and, and [00:47:55] things like that. [00:47:56] [00:47:57] [00:47:58] So I mean, I [00:47:59] really don't know.

But I [00:48:00] would say, I would say [00:48:01] that any [00:48:02] instance [00:48:03] where [00:48:04] crime is [00:48:05] committed [00:48:06] where [00:48:07] a person's [00:48:08] mental health [00:48:09] is in [00:48:10] question is always gonna [00:48:11] be complicated and [00:48:12] nuanced

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. [00:48:13]

Why so many women defend her and Bruce's cop shooting parallel 🖤🙅💥

Bruce Anthony: [00:48:14] So the [00:48:15] reason why [00:48:16] as [00:48:17] I dug deeper, [00:48:18] [00:48:19] this is a [00:48:20] hypothesis, ladies and [00:48:21] gentlemen. This is a [00:48:22] hypothesis, [00:48:23] okay? [00:48:24] That [00:48:25] the reason [00:48:26] as I dug into [00:48:27] this, it, it, I, [00:48:28] I kinda came to [00:48:29] this conclusion or [00:48:30] this idea, this [00:48:31] hypothesis of [00:48:32] why [00:48:33] there were so many [00:48:34] women [00:48:35] [00:48:36] defending her [00:48:37] or showing support [00:48:38] for her. It's [00:48:39] not to [00:48:40] excuse [00:48:41] what she did.[00:48:42]

Jay Aundrea: [00:48:43] Right

Bruce Anthony: It's [00:48:44] not. [00:48:45] [00:48:46] We as Black [00:48:47] people [00:48:48] know [00:48:49] that [00:48:50] sometimes Black [00:48:51] criminals are killed [00:48:52] by cops.[00:48:53]

Jay Aundrea: [00:48:54] Yes

Bruce Anthony: We are [00:48:55] not [00:48:56] condoning whatever [00:48:57] crime that they did. [00:48:58] [00:48:59] But [00:49:00] if that Black [00:49:01] person was [00:49:02] unarmed, [00:49:03] there was a way to [00:49:04] arrest them that [00:49:05] didn't have to [00:49:06] end in the loss of their [00:49:07] life.

Jay Aundrea: [00:49:08] Yes

Bruce Anthony: Okay [00:49:09] [00:49:10] [00:49:11] we're [00:49:12] going to [00:49:13] defend him

Jay Aundrea: [00:49:14] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:49:15] because there's a [00:49:16] parallel.

That [00:49:17] can happen to [00:49:18] us. [00:49:19] That's what I [00:49:20] believe a lot of these [00:49:21] women that are [00:49:22] supporting her are [00:49:23] doing. They're [00:49:24] not saying [00:49:25] [00:49:26] what she did [00:49:27] was [00:49:28] explainable or [00:49:29] understandable in any [00:49:30] way. Neither [00:49:31] am I.[00:49:32]

What [00:49:33] I'm saying is, [00:49:34] and what I [00:49:35] think they are, [00:49:36] is that could happen to [00:49:37] any one of us [00:49:38] because there's [00:49:39] something that's going on [00:49:40] that [00:49:41] y'all are

Jay Aundrea: [00:49:42] Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: [00:49:43] serious

Jay Aundrea: [00:49:44] Yeah, I think it's less [00:49:45] about [00:49:46] being in [00:49:47] support [00:49:48] [00:49:49] of [00:49:50] Lindsay [00:49:51] [00:49:52] specifically and more [00:49:53] about [00:49:54] this is an [00:49:55] example [00:49:56] of like, we [00:49:57] need [00:49:58] more research and [00:49:59] more [00:50:00] awareness [00:50:01] and to be [00:50:02] talking [00:50:03] about [00:50:04] postpartum mental [00:50:05] health a lot [00:50:06] more than we're [00:50:07] doing. [00:50:08] Because [00:50:09] 10% [00:50:10] of [00:50:11] childbearing people [00:50:12] [00:50:13] suffering [00:50:14] from [00:50:15] postpartum [00:50:16] depression is not a small [00:50:17] number.[00:50:18]

It's

Bruce Anthony: And [00:50:19] you

[00:50:20] literally, I literally [00:50:21] just made that point. You [00:50:22] just repeating the point [00:50:23] I just made[00:50:24]

Jay Aundrea: Oh, [00:50:25] did you finish making [00:50:26] it? Because I, [00:50:27] it sound [00:50:28] like

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, I had, uh, oh, okay. Okay, [00:50:29] I lost you 'cause [00:50:30] you leaned in [00:50:31] and, and it [00:50:32] glossed over. So you ain't [00:50:33] hear me [00:50:34] come, come to the... [00:50:35] You was thinking about what [00:50:36] you was gonna say, and you wasn't [00:50:37] paying attention to, I [00:50:38] literally just said that, [00:50:39] that they are [00:50:40] not in [00:50:41] support of what [00:50:42] she did, but in [00:50:43] support of [00:50:44] bringing [00:50:45] attention to [00:50:46] the things that [00:50:47] women are [00:50:48] going through.

That's literally what I [00:50:49] said.

Jay Aundrea: Oh [00:50:50] yeah, that's [00:50:51] exactly-- I agree with [00:50:52] that wholeheartedly. I [00:50:53] feel like I said it [00:50:54] better.

Bruce Anthony: You [00:50:55] did say it better[00:50:56]

Jay Aundrea: Okay, 'cause [00:50:57] maybe that was [00:50:58] it. Maybe that's where [00:50:59] I got [00:51:00] [00:51:01] [00:51:02] lost.

Bruce Anthony: [00:51:03] [00:51:04] You

Jay Aundrea: but [00:51:05] yeah,

But [00:51:06] yeah, I've, [00:51:07] I, I, I [00:51:08] am ho- uh, you [00:51:09] know, holding [00:51:10] space [00:51:11] for [00:51:12] empathy [00:51:13] [00:51:14] but [00:51:15] also [00:51:16] [00:51:17] accountability

​

Bruce Anthony: [00:51:18] [00:51:19] [00:51:20] [00:51:21] [00:51:22] [00:51:23] [00:51:24] [00:51:25] So Jay, [00:51:26] there's actually a [00:51:27] name for [00:51:28] couples who are committed [00:51:29] to each other

Jay Aundrea: [00:51:30] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: but [00:51:31] don't want to live [00:51:32] together. [00:51:33] It's called [00:51:34] living apart [00:51:35] together

Jay Aundrea: [00:51:36] That is, [00:51:37] sounds like heaven. [00:51:38] And I f- [00:51:39] and I feel like [00:51:40] they stole this [00:51:41] from Cole, [00:51:42] from [00:51:43] Martin.[00:51:44]

Bruce Anthony: When Martin and [00:51:45] Gina split, [00:51:46] you see, it [00:51:47] was like, y'all [00:51:48] are, are together [00:51:49] but apart. [00:51:50] Yes, they [00:51:51] living [00:51:52] apart together, [00:51:53] and, [00:51:54] and the important [00:51:55] word here is [00:51:56] [00:51:57] deliberately. [00:51:58] These aren't [00:51:59] couples who are s- [00:52:00] uh, stuck living in [00:52:01] different cities because [00:52:02] of a job. They're [00:52:03] not celebrated, I [00:52:04] mean, separated. They're [00:52:05] not on the verge [00:52:06] of a breakup.[00:52:07]

They are choosing to [00:52:08] have separate homes [00:52:09] while still being in a [00:52:10] committed relationship, [00:52:11] and that's an [00:52:12] important [00:52:13] distinction because a [00:52:14] long-distance relationship [00:52:15] usually has a [00:52:16] goal of [00:52:17] eventually closing that [00:52:18] distance. A [00:52:19] separation [00:52:20] usually has a [00:52:21] goal of figuring out [00:52:22] whether you're gonna stay [00:52:23] together. [00:52:24] Living apart [00:52:25] together, [00:52:26]

Living apart together, the separate homes are the relationship 🏠💕🔑

[SEGMENT 3 START]

Bruce Anthony: there is no [00:52:27] gap to close. [00:52:28] There is no [00:52:29] breakup coming. [00:52:30] The [00:52:31] separate homes [00:52:32] are the [00:52:33] relationship, and that's where I [00:52:34] think this gets really [00:52:35] interesting because the [00:52:36] way this is being [00:52:37] talked about right now [00:52:38] isn't really [00:52:39] as a [00:52:40] compromise, it's being [00:52:41] presented as an [00:52:42] upgrade. The [00:52:43] idea is that maybe you [00:52:44] could love [00:52:45] somebody, be [00:52:46] committed to them, [00:52:47] build a life with [00:52:48] them [00:52:49] without having to share a [00:52:50] bathroom, [00:52:51] without [00:52:52] arguing about whose [00:52:53] turn it is to clean the [00:52:54] kitchen, without [00:52:55] somebody asking why [00:52:56] you still watching [00:52:57] TV at 2:00 in the [00:52:58] morning.

Jay Aundrea: [00:52:59] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: The pitch [00:53:00] is independence. [00:53:01] You keep your [00:53:02] own space, [00:53:03] you keep your own [00:53:04] routines, you keep [00:53:05] some of that [00:53:06] mystery and [00:53:07] desire that can [00:53:08] disappear when you've been living [00:53:09] together for 10 [00:53:10] years, and maybe [00:53:11] for some people, [00:53:12] that's actually [00:53:13] healthier. [00:53:14] [00:53:15] But here's a question [00:53:16] I want to get [00:53:17] into. [00:53:18] Are separate homes [00:53:19] actually protecting [00:53:20] the relationship, [00:53:21] or are [00:53:22] they just finding [00:53:23] a more [00:53:24] socially acceptable [00:53:25] way to avoid [00:53:26] the parts of the [00:53:27] relationship that [00:53:28] require a [00:53:29] compromise?[00:53:30]

Because they're... [00:53:31] Those are two [00:53:32] very, [00:53:33] very different [00:53:34] things[00:53:35]

Jay Aundrea: Why [00:53:36]

Jay asks the real question, why is any of this even a problem 🤷🏠💯

Jay Aundrea: [00:53:37] it, I, [00:53:38] you lost [00:53:39] me on like what the [00:53:40] problem is. [00:53:41] Because [00:53:42] here's the [00:53:43] thing, if you [00:53:44] can [00:53:45] bypass [00:53:46] [00:53:47] a lot of the [00:53:48] major [00:53:49] problems [00:53:50] that creep up in a [00:53:51] relationship [00:53:52] due to [00:53:53] just [00:53:54] being in [00:53:55] proximity with another human [00:53:56] being [00:53:57] all the time, [00:53:58] right? [00:53:59] Especially if [00:54:00] y'all work from home. [00:54:01] That's-- [00:54:02] You're, you're together [00:54:03] all the time.

If [00:54:04] you could [00:54:05] bypass [00:54:06] a lot of those [00:54:07] problems and [00:54:08] [00:54:09] compromises, which [00:54:10] usually means [00:54:11] sacrifices for [00:54:12] one person, [00:54:13] [00:54:14] by living [00:54:15] independently, [00:54:16] what's the [00:54:17] problem? Like, it, [00:54:18] I-- [00:54:19] What's the problem? [00:54:20] I could also [00:54:21] bypass a [00:54:22] lot of my [00:54:23] debt issues by [00:54:24] being rich. [00:54:25] Like, it's-- [00:54:26] [00:54:27] Like,[00:54:28]

Bruce Anthony: I don't [00:54:29] think being rich is a [00:54:30] choice. [00:54:31] I

Jay Aundrea: But I'm saying [00:54:32] like, [00:54:33] but you know what I'm [00:54:34] saying?

Like, it's [00:54:35] like, okay, [00:54:36] [00:54:37] uh, [00:54:38] I would [00:54:39] rather, you [00:54:40] know, cry [00:54:41] in a Benz [00:54:42] than [00:54:43] a [00:54:44] Toyota Tercel. [00:54:45] I'm just [00:54:46] saying. [00:54:47] Like, [00:54:48] I don't [00:54:49] understand [00:54:50] why [00:54:51] [00:54:52] avoiding [00:54:53] those [00:54:54] uncomfortable, and [00:54:55] again, [00:54:56] compromises, I say that [00:54:57] very loosely [00:54:58] 'cause it's [00:54:59] usually somebody [00:55:00] sacrificing. [00:55:01] [00:55:02] Why not just... [00:55:03] Look, they [00:55:04] used to have the [00:55:05] separate beds. [00:55:06] It used to be you [00:55:07] had separate [00:55:08] bedrooms.[00:55:09]

Now[00:55:10] [00:55:11] [00:55:12] [00:55:13]

you telling me I can have my own full-owned house, and we can see each other [00:55:14] when we see each other, [00:55:15] and it [00:55:16] works for us? [00:55:17] What's the [00:55:18] problem?

Bruce Anthony: I [00:55:19] didn't say there was a [00:55:20] problem. I just thought this was [00:55:21] really interesting. [00:55:22]

The numbers, millions live apart and it jumped over 40 percent 📈🏠😮

Bruce Anthony: So as of [00:55:23] 2022, about [00:55:24] [00:55:25] 3.89 million [00:55:26] Americans were living [00:55:27] apart from their [00:55:28] spouses, their [00:55:29] spouses. [00:55:30] Roughly [00:55:31] 2.9% of, of [00:55:32] married [00:55:33] Americans. So [00:55:34] not a small [00:55:35] portion of married [00:55:36] Americans. And you may say, [00:55:37] "Oh, that's only [00:55:38] 2%. Eh, [00:55:39] it's millions of [00:55:40] people."

[00:55:41] Okay. That [00:55:42] figure is [00:55:43] spouses only and does not [00:55:44] count [00:55:45] unmarried [00:55:46] committed [00:55:47] couples, so that [00:55:48] number could [00:55:49] actually be higher. [00:55:50] Between [00:55:51] 2000 and [00:55:52] 2022, so [00:55:53] 22 years, [00:55:54] the share [00:55:55] of married [00:55:56] couples who lived [00:55:57] apart grew by more [00:55:58] than 40%.[00:55:59]

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.[00:56:00]

Bruce Anthony: Here's the [00:56:01] caveat. This is a [00:56:02] trend driven [00:56:03] mainly by [00:56:04] older [00:56:05] women. So [00:56:06] here's the plot [00:56:07] twist.

[00:56:08] Here's the [00:56:09] mind you, [00:56:10] right? [00:56:11] Here's the [00:56:12] mind you. [00:56:13] What this [00:56:14] article was [00:56:15] basically saying, these studies are [00:56:16] basically saying is [00:56:17] that [00:56:18] older women [00:56:19] [00:56:20] are like, "Look, I need to [00:56:21] get in a different [00:56:22] house." And [00:56:23] it tends to [00:56:24] be [00:56:25] because [00:56:26] older women, [00:56:27] because they spent [00:56:28] a whole [00:56:29] existence [00:56:30] being [00:56:31] mom and [00:56:32] caregiver, and they [00:56:33] don't wanna do that no [00:56:34] more.

But

Jay Aundrea: [00:56:35] Listen,

Bruce Anthony: you[00:56:36]

Jay Aundrea: as a [00:56:37] middle-aged woman, I could [00:56:38] tell you, [00:56:39] I think [00:56:40] it's not, [00:56:41] I need my own [00:56:42] house, it's [00:56:43] I already [00:56:44] have a house and I'm not [00:56:45] giving it up. [00:56:46] And I d- and [00:56:47] it's already [00:56:48] decorated the way I [00:56:49] want. It already [00:56:50] got all my stuff [00:56:51] in it. I-- [00:56:52] The closet's full, [00:56:53] honey. I can't make [00:56:54] room [00:56:55] for nobody [00:56:56] else. You might as [00:56:57] well stay where you [00:56:58] are [00:56:59] instead of [00:57:00] me [00:57:01] [00:57:02] packing up my [00:57:03] stuff and [00:57:04] downsizing my things to [00:57:05] fit you [00:57:06] into my house, [00:57:07] 'cause I don't wanna give up my [00:57:08] house.

I love my house. [00:57:09] It's mine. [00:57:10] Like, [00:57:11] why wouldn't [00:57:12] we just [00:57:13] maintain separate [00:57:14] residences? It's [00:57:15] [00:57:16] brilliant[00:57:17]

Peace versus pockets, split the bills or protect your own space 💰🏠😌

Bruce Anthony: It is, [00:57:18] uh, also, [00:57:19] I know for me [00:57:20] personally, I've [00:57:21] been living on my [00:57:22] own now for [00:57:23] about [00:57:24] 15 years, [00:57:25] right? In the thir- 13, 14, [00:57:26] [00:57:27] 15 years. [00:57:28] And, and [00:57:29] I have [00:57:30] openly admitted on [00:57:31] this show, [00:57:32] in public to [00:57:33] anybody who will listen to me, [00:57:34] that I [00:57:35] would really [00:57:36] like to split [00:57:37] these damn [00:57:38] bills [00:57:39] because it's [00:57:40] expensive. If I [00:57:41] lived in Podunk, [00:57:42] America, [00:57:43] where [00:57:44] my rent was [00:57:45] $800 a month, [00:57:46] [00:57:47] cool.

[00:57:48] You know, I ain't got a [00:57:49] problem with that. [00:57:50] But my rent [00:57:51] ain't $800 [00:57:52] a month. [00:57:53] Ain't nowhere close to [00:57:54] $800 a month. [00:57:55] So [00:57:56] I-- it's [00:57:57] fascinating to [00:57:58] me [00:57:59] that people would choose [00:58:00] this 'cause you gonna [00:58:01] save on [00:58:02] money, but [00:58:03] that's my [00:58:04] thing. [00:58:05] Other people are like, [00:58:06] "What about my [00:58:07] peace?" And if [00:58:08] you remember, you [00:58:09] remember [00:58:10] me and my [00:58:11] ex-wife,[00:58:12]

Jay Aundrea: Hmm.

Bruce Anthony: our [00:58:13] first place was a [00:58:14] one-bedroom, one, [00:58:15] one-bath apartment.[00:58:16]

The [00:58:17] next place we [00:58:18] got was a [00:58:19] two-bedroom, two-bath [00:58:20] apartment 'cause we [00:58:21] had lived in that [00:58:22] one-bedroom, one-bath [00:58:23] apartment for, like, a couple of [00:58:24] years. [00:58:25] And [00:58:26] she was fed up [00:58:27] with sharing a [00:58:28] bathroom. I was [00:58:29] definitely fed up with [00:58:30] sharing a bathroom. [00:58:31] And I was [00:58:32] like, "Look, I [00:58:33] need more space [00:58:34] to get away with [00:58:35] you. I want you..." [00:58:36] Like [00:58:37] Patrice O'Neal said, "I [00:58:38] want you [00:58:39] here, [00:58:40] but not [00:58:41] here.[00:58:42] [00:58:43]

Jay Aundrea: He,

Bruce Anthony: I need you to be [00:58:44]

Jay Aundrea: around, [00:58:45] Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: right [00:58:46] here."

Jay Aundrea: [00:58:47] Yeah. I, [00:58:48] I'm, I'm not, [00:58:49] I'm the [00:58:50] exact opposite. I [00:58:51] prioritize my peace [00:58:52] over my pockets. [00:58:53] I'll [00:58:54] pay the bill. I'll [00:58:55] pay the bill. [00:58:56] I'll pay it [00:58:57] if it [00:58:58] means that I get to live in [00:58:59] peace. [00:59:00] [00:59:01] And [00:59:02] this, this [00:59:03] idea of [00:59:04] still [00:59:05] maintaining... Because I, [00:59:06] I think that [00:59:07] happens too in [00:59:08] relationships a [00:59:09] lot, is that you start [00:59:10] [00:59:11] to become [00:59:12] dependent and you do [00:59:13] start to lose your [00:59:14] identity in a, [00:59:15] in a lot of [00:59:16] ways.

You [00:59:17]

Losing yourself in a couple and whether the unit is patriarchy 🖤🤔💥

Jay Aundrea: stop [00:59:18] becoming, you stop [00:59:19] being yourself and [00:59:20] you're now a part of [00:59:21] this unit, which [00:59:22] a lot of [00:59:23] people are like, "Well, [00:59:24] that's the whole point." [00:59:25] But, but [00:59:26] also, [00:59:27] [00:59:28] who's, [00:59:29] who [00:59:30] says? [00:59:31] Like,

that,

Bruce Anthony: a minute, [00:59:32] what?

Jay Aundrea: who [00:59:33] said? Like, [00:59:34] that [00:59:35] idea of [00:59:36] the, [00:59:37] uh, the couple [00:59:38] now you're a [00:59:39] unit, I [00:59:40] feel like is [00:59:41] really steeped in [00:59:42] patriarchy [00:59:43] because, [00:59:44] because [00:59:45] it's [00:59:46] not [00:59:47] really right.

You're not [00:59:48] really a unit 'cause [00:59:49] the woman didn't have [00:59:50] as much power as the [00:59:51] man,

Bruce Anthony: [00:59:52] I think [00:59:53] nowadays, uh, only, [00:59:54] the only relationships [00:59:55] I enter in now [00:59:56] are partnerships. We [00:59:57] are equal [00:59:58] partners because [00:59:59] I tend to date, [01:00:00] [01:00:01] uh, independent, [01:00:02] [01:00:03] uh, [01:00:04] successful. [01:00:05] Successful means you [01:00:06] about something. It doesn't [01:00:07] necessarily mean [01:00:08] monetary. It means you [01:00:09] about something, you [01:00:10] trying to [01:00:11] do something. Now, I'm [01:00:12] attracted to that.

[01:00:13] If you ain't, if [01:00:14] you just like, "I had, [01:00:15] had the same job for [01:00:16] about 10 years," like you [01:00:17] ain't trying to do [01:00:18] nothing else

Jay Aundrea: [01:00:19] nothing else? You don't have [01:00:20] no side [01:00:21] hustle or

Bruce Anthony: They even got no [01:00:22] goals, no [01:00:23] aspirations. [01:00:24] Like I can't deal with [01:00:25] somebody like that. [01:00:26] So a [01:00:27] unit for [01:00:28] me, because I'm [01:00:29] looking for a [01:00:30] partnership, is [01:00:31] [01:00:32] a [01:00:33] person that [01:00:34] improves [01:00:35] my weaknesses as [01:00:36] I improve their [01:00:37] weaknesses.

We [01:00:38] [01:00:39] improve each other. [01:00:40] [01:00:41] And [01:00:42] I've had that. I've [01:00:43] had [01:00:44] women that I've dated [01:00:45] [01:00:46] where the rare [01:00:47] times where I let [01:00:48] down my guard [01:00:49] and say, "Hey, [01:00:50] I'm feeling [01:00:51] like I can't [01:00:52] accomplish something."[01:00:53]

And they be [01:00:54] like, "What are you [01:00:55] talking about? Yes, you [01:00:56] can. You're one [01:00:57] of the most [01:00:58] determined, strongest [01:00:59] people that I know. [01:01:00] I don't know [01:01:01] anything that you haven't been [01:01:02] able to accomplish.

You can [01:01:03] do this too." [01:01:04] Sometimes it just be that [01:01:05] little thing. [01:01:06] Like the strength [01:01:07] of a man [01:01:08] sometimes is [01:01:09] that woman [01:01:10] putting [01:01:11] that battery in the [01:01:12] back and then [01:01:13] vice versa. So I think [01:01:14] that's what they mean [01:01:15] by unit, and that's [01:01:16] what I mean by [01:01:17] bettering each other[01:01:18]

Jay Aundrea: And [01:01:19] in my [01:01:20] opinion, that puts [01:01:21] way too much [01:01:22] pressure on [01:01:23] both [01:01:24] people.[01:01:25]

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, [01:01:26] yeah

Jay Aundrea: feel [01:01:27] like, I [01:01:28] feel like [01:01:29] the [01:01:30] purpose of being [01:01:31] in a [01:01:32] relationship is not [01:01:33] to improve the [01:01:34] other person. [01:01:35] Or like, I don't [01:01:36] feel like that's a [01:01:37] facet. I think [01:01:38] you can be with somebody [01:01:39] who makes you want [01:01:40] to be better, makes you [01:01:41] want to do different [01:01:42] things, makes [01:01:43] you want to be [01:01:44] better, but [01:01:45] to...[01:01:46]

I, I wouldn't [01:01:47] make that other [01:01:48] person [01:01:49] responsible[01:01:50]

Bruce Anthony: Maybe I wasn't being [01:01:51] clear. I, [01:01:52] I don't mean [01:01:53] responsible. I mean this [01:01:54] just by [01:01:55] being together because [01:01:56] you've chosen this [01:01:57] person, they [01:01:58] put a battery in [01:01:59] your back. You [01:02:00] want to be [01:02:01] better. [01:02:02] That's the reason why I [01:02:03] date women who are [01:02:04] successful. I'm like, "Mm, [01:02:05] you more successful than [01:02:06] I am." It's not a [01:02:07] competition thing.

It's kind [01:02:08] of like a, "Hey, Bruce, [01:02:09] [01:02:10] let's get up on it [01:02:11] here."

Jay Aundrea: So it is a [01:02:12] competition

Bruce Anthony: It's [01:02:13] not, it's not a competition to [01:02:14] surpass them. It's a [01:02:15] competition to just, [01:02:16] just be like-- [01:02:17] Because I've dated [01:02:18] women who make [01:02:19] far more money than me. [01:02:20] So it's, it's [01:02:21] like, "Oh, I need to [01:02:22] make sure [01:02:23] that I'm [01:02:24] not [01:02:25] siphoning off [01:02:26] of them. [01:02:27] So let me go out here [01:02:28] and get some more bread."[01:02:29]

"Hey, do you wanna go [01:02:30] on a vacation?" "Yeah, [01:02:31] I'll pay." "No, [01:02:32] [01:02:33] I'll cover my [01:02:34] half because [01:02:35] I can do these [01:02:36] things together [01:02:37] with you. [01:02:38] I've been working hard [01:02:39] because I see [01:02:40] you out here doing this [01:02:41] thing. It's motivating [01:02:42] me

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. [01:02:43] I just don't need to [01:02:44] see you every day[01:02:45]

Bruce Anthony: Well [01:02:46] another, [01:02:47]

Resentment, thermostat wars and Bruce's studio in the hood plan 😤🏠🔥

Bruce Anthony: another reason why [01:02:48] couples are doing this is [01:02:49] avoiding [01:02:50] resentment. So the [01:02:51] theory is, is [01:02:52] that forced [01:02:53] compromise on [01:02:54] towels, dishes, [01:02:55] thermostat wars, [01:02:56] all that type of stuff [01:02:57] can lead to a [01:02:58] slow [01:02:59] resentment that, [01:03:00] that bleeds [01:03:01] and then, then, [01:03:02] you know, [01:03:03]

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: the [01:03:04] bond that y'all had[01:03:05]

Jay Aundrea: It could be a [01:03:06] little [01:03:07] thing that [01:03:08] honestly, in the [01:03:09] grand scheme of things, [01:03:10] is not a big [01:03:11] deal, but [01:03:12] boy, [01:03:13] the [01:03:14] accumulation [01:03:15] of this little [01:03:16] thing, you, [01:03:17] you, you always drop [01:03:18] your clothes next [01:03:19] to the hamper.[01:03:20]

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.[01:03:21]

Jay Aundrea: The acc- [01:03:22] you will never empty the [01:03:23] dishwasher. [01:03:24] Like it's the [01:03:25] accumulation [01:03:26] of these little [01:03:27] things that lead to that [01:03:28] resentment.

And so [01:03:29] if you can get [01:03:30] around [01:03:31] it, get around it [01:03:32]

Bruce Anthony: [01:03:33] [01:03:34] Look, I'm all for [01:03:35] people doing whatever makes [01:03:36] them happy. [01:03:37] If this how you wanna [01:03:38] live your life, [01:03:39] cool. If [01:03:40] I was in a relationship [01:03:41] and a woman was [01:03:42] like, "I just wanna, [01:03:43] I wanna be with you, but [01:03:44] I wanna keep things [01:03:45] separate," [01:03:46] I'd be like, "All right. Well, I'm [01:03:47] gonna tell you right now, [01:03:48] since I, [01:03:49] I don't need to [01:03:50] impress nobody, [01:03:51] I'm gonna get me a little [01:03:52] studio in the [01:03:53] hood.

You are more than [01:03:54] welcome to come and [01:03:55] spend the night when you [01:03:56] want to, but I'm gonna [01:03:57] save money [01:03:58] somehow, some way [01:03:59] [01:04:00] So I'm getting me a [01:04:01] little studio [01:04:02] by the hood, [01:04:03] so when you come over, [01:04:04] there's gonna be bars [01:04:05] on the windows and [01:04:06] gunshots outside. [01:04:07] But [01:04:08] I'm [01:04:09] gonna make sure that you [01:04:10] got your space." That's, [01:04:11] that's my compromise.

[01:04:12] But just know [01:04:13] that, uh, [01:04:14] I'm gonna be living by [01:04:15] Macaroni Tonié in [01:04:16] them

Jay Aundrea: Yeah, [01:04:17] but no, this [01:04:18] sounds, [01:04:19] uh, [01:04:20] amazing to me,[01:04:21]

honestly. [01:04:22] Uh, [01:04:23] keep, keep your [01:04:24] separate residence[01:04:25] [01:04:26]

Bruce Anthony: whatever [01:04:27] right for you. [01:04:28] That's

Jay Aundrea: Right. [01:04:29] If it works for [01:04:30] you, don't, don't [01:04:31] listen to nobody.

Bruce Anthony: [01:04:32] Yeah.

Jay Aundrea: to us. If it [01:04:33] works for you,[01:04:34]

Bruce Anthony: No, listen to [01:04:35] us. I'm saying [01:04:36] do-- we're both [01:04:37] saying do what makes you [01:04:38] happy. That, [01:04:39] yes,

Jay Aundrea: You don't

Bruce Anthony: to [01:04:40] us.

Jay Aundrea: No, [01:04:41] don't even listen to us. [01:04:42] Don't listen to nobody.[01:04:43] [01:04:44] [01:04:45]

Bruce Anthony: Jay, what do you [01:04:46] wanna tell these people before [01:04:47] we get out of here?[01:04:48] [01:04:49]

Jay Aundrea: Oh, [01:04:50] [01:04:51] Man. [01:04:52] [01:04:53] I, I always [01:04:54] kinda lean on [01:04:55] the taking [01:04:56] care of yourself, [01:04:57] but [01:04:58] [01:04:59] I wanna [01:05:00] actually [01:05:01] broaden that [01:05:02] to [01:05:03] check on the people [01:05:04] around you, [01:05:05] [01:05:06] right? [01:05:07] [01:05:08] [01:05:09] Everybody's dealing with their [01:05:10] own things. [01:05:11] It could [01:05:12] be [01:05:13] mental health [01:05:14] crises, [01:05:15] you know, after [01:05:16] giving birth. It could [01:05:17] be [01:05:18] changing a job. It [01:05:19] could be [01:05:20] their partner [01:05:21] wants to live [01:05:22] independently, [01:05:23] uh, right?

It could [01:05:24] be any of those [01:05:25] things. [01:05:26] [01:05:27] Everybody has got their [01:05:28] own struggles and [01:05:29] things, and [01:05:30] it's [01:05:31] always important to [01:05:32] check in [01:05:33] on the people [01:05:34] within your [01:05:35] community. Don't just [01:05:36] lean on other [01:05:37] people. Give them an opportunity [01:05:38] to lean on you [01:05:39] too

Bruce Anthony: I [01:05:40] love that. You're [01:05:41] absolutely right. [01:05:42] For me, [01:05:43]

Closing thoughts, be correct not just right in a headline world 🧠💯🔥

Bruce Anthony: you know, [01:05:44] talking about these [01:05:45] stories today, there's [01:05:46] one thing that keeps coming [01:05:47] back to me. [01:05:48] You've [01:05:49] got to stop [01:05:50] looking at everything [01:05:51] like it's black and [01:05:52] white. [01:05:53] Because we live in a [01:05:54] headline society [01:05:55] now. People see a [01:05:56] headline, they see a [01:05:57] title of a [01:05:58] video, maybe they [01:05:59] watch a [01:06:00] 30-second clip, [01:06:01] and they've decided the [01:06:02] entire [01:06:03] story.

They know who [01:06:04] is right, [01:06:05] who is [01:06:06] wrong, who is [01:06:07] good, [01:06:08] who is evil, [01:06:09] and they haven't [01:06:10] even read the article. [01:06:11] They haven't [01:06:12] watched the full [01:06:13] video. They [01:06:14] haven't looked at all [01:06:15] the evidence. [01:06:16] They just found [01:06:17] something that confirmed what [01:06:18] they already wanted [01:06:19] to believe [01:06:20] [01:06:21] And that's not [01:06:22] analysis, [01:06:23] that's [01:06:24] confirmation. [01:06:25] And I think we've [01:06:26] become this [01:06:27] popcorn microwave [01:06:28] analyst of [01:06:29] everything [01:06:30] society.

[01:06:31] Give me the [01:06:32] headline, give me the [01:06:33] clip, give me the [01:06:34] 30 seconds, I'm ready to [01:06:35] tell you what the problem [01:06:36] is. And [01:06:37] I think the bigger [01:06:38] problem is that we're [01:06:39] not really interested [01:06:40] in being correct [01:06:41] anymore. [01:06:42] We're [01:06:43] interested in being [01:06:44] right. I [01:06:45] talk about it all the [01:06:46] time. I don't wanna [01:06:47] be right. I wanna [01:06:48] be correct.[01:06:49]

And those [01:06:50] two are not the [01:06:51] same thing. [01:06:52] You can find [01:06:53] information to support [01:06:54] almost anything that you [01:06:55] believe. That [01:06:56] doesn't mean your [01:06:57] conclusion is [01:06:58] correct. It [01:06:59] just means you found [01:07:00] evidence that agrees [01:07:01] with you. [01:07:02] And that's why I [01:07:03] think discernment has [01:07:04] become such an [01:07:05] important skill. [01:07:06] Look at Lindsey [01:07:07] Clancy case.[01:07:08]

My friend [01:07:09] heard a couple people [01:07:10] talking about it and [01:07:11] immediately said, "It [01:07:12] doesn't matter. She [01:07:13] should be fried under the [01:07:14] jail." And [01:07:15] listen, I'm [01:07:16] not gonna sit here and [01:07:17] pretend that I don't have an [01:07:18] emotional reaction to [01:07:19] somebody harming [01:07:20] kids. Y'all [01:07:21] know I [01:07:22] love the kids. I [01:07:23] have a [01:07:24] strong [01:07:25] emotional reaction [01:07:26] to harming [01:07:27] kids.[01:07:28]

But I also [01:07:29] wanna know all the [01:07:30] facts before I [01:07:31] decide what my final [01:07:32] answer is going to be. [01:07:33] Because I [01:07:34] can believe something [01:07:35] happened and [01:07:36] still admit that I don't [01:07:37] know everything [01:07:38] about why it [01:07:39] happened. I [01:07:40] can have an [01:07:41] opinion and still [01:07:42] leave room for new [01:07:43] information. [01:07:44] And honestly, [01:07:45] I think that's where [01:07:46] we're all going [01:07:47] wrong.

We [01:07:48] think changing [01:07:49] your mind [01:07:50] means that you're weak. [01:07:51] It [01:07:52] doesn't. [01:07:53] Sometimes changing your mind [01:07:54] means you've [01:07:55] learned something. [01:07:56] So maybe we need to [01:07:57] start looking [01:07:58] at our first [01:07:59] answer as more of [01:08:00] a [01:08:01] hypothesis and not a [01:08:02] verdict. [01:08:03] Here's what I [01:08:04] think. [01:08:05] Now, [01:08:06] let me see if the evidence [01:08:07] actually [01:08:08] supports what I think, [01:08:09] and if it [01:08:10] doesn't, [01:08:11] change it.

[01:08:12] That's not losing, [01:08:13] that's [01:08:14] thinking. Because [01:08:15] life is [01:08:16] complicated. [01:08:17] People [01:08:18] are complicated. [01:08:19] [01:08:20] Relationships and [01:08:21] mental health [01:08:22] is [01:08:23] complicated. And [01:08:24] even the things that [01:08:25] seem obvious can [01:08:26] look very different [01:08:27] when you finally have [01:08:28] the full picture. [01:08:29] So [01:08:30] before you share that [01:08:31] headline, [01:08:32] before you jump into [01:08:33] the comments, [01:08:34] before you decide you [01:08:35] know exactly who the [01:08:36] villain is [01:08:37] and who [01:08:38] exactly the victim [01:08:39] is, [01:08:40] take a minute.[01:08:41]

Read [01:08:42] the whole thing. [01:08:43] Watch the [01:08:44] whole thing. [01:08:45] Look at the evidence [01:08:46] that makes you [01:08:47] uncomfortable, [01:08:48] [01:08:49] especially that [01:08:50] evidence. Because if [01:08:51] you only examine the [01:08:52] information that makes you [01:08:53] feel good [01:08:54] about what you [01:08:55] already believe, [01:08:56] you're not [01:08:57] searching for the [01:08:58] truth [01:08:59] You're protecting your [01:09:00] position. [01:09:01] And there's a difference [01:09:02] between being [01:09:03] first, [01:09:04] being [01:09:05] right, and [01:09:06] being [01:09:07] correct.

Like I [01:09:08] always say, [01:09:09] I'd rather be [01:09:10] correct, [01:09:11] even [01:09:12] if it takes [01:09:13] a little [01:09:14] longer. But here's the [01:09:15] uncomfortable part [01:09:16] people don't want to talk [01:09:17] about. [01:09:18] You might [01:09:19] be wrong, [01:09:20] and that's [01:09:21] okay. [01:09:22] Actually, [01:09:23] it has to be [01:09:24] okay. [01:09:25] Because if you're so [01:09:26] committed to being right that you [01:09:27] can't entertain the [01:09:28] possibility that you're [01:09:29] wrong, [01:09:30] you're not really [01:09:31] thinking, [01:09:32] you're defending, [01:09:33] and that's a [01:09:34] completely different [01:09:35] thing.

You [01:09:36] don't need to have the [01:09:37] absolute answer [01:09:38] five minutes after seeing the [01:09:39] headline. [01:09:40] We don't need to pick [01:09:41] a side before we [01:09:42] understand the [01:09:43] story. We don't need to [01:09:44] turn every [01:09:45] complicated issue [01:09:46] into good guy, [01:09:47] bad [01:09:48] guy. [01:09:49] Sometimes the [01:09:50] most intellectually [01:09:51] honest thing that you [01:09:52] could say [01:09:53] is, "I [01:09:54] don't know yet." [01:09:55] And then [01:09:56] keep looking.[01:09:57]

Examine the [01:09:58] evidence. [01:09:59] You listen to the [01:10:00] other side. [01:10:01] You challenge your [01:10:02] own [01:10:03] assumptions. And when new [01:10:04] information comes [01:10:05] in, [01:10:06] you're willing to [01:10:07] consider it. [01:10:08] not [01:10:09] weakness. That's [01:10:10] discernment. [01:10:11] More [01:10:12] importantly, that's [01:10:13] maturity. [01:10:14] And honestly, that's [01:10:15] something I think we could [01:10:16] all use a little [01:10:17] more of because [01:10:18] being first [01:10:19] doesn't make you right.[01:10:20]

Being [01:10:21] loud doesn't make you right. [01:10:22] Having [01:10:23] evidence that supports [01:10:24] your position doesn't [01:10:25] automatically make you [01:10:26] correct. [01:10:27] Sometimes being correct [01:10:28] means having the courage [01:10:29] to admit the answer [01:10:30] you started with [01:10:31] [01:10:32] wasn't the answer [01:10:33] that you're gonna end [01:10:34] with. [01:10:35] And I'd rather take [01:10:36] the time to get it [01:10:37] right [01:10:38] than rush [01:10:39] to be right. [01:10:40] [01:10:41] Ladies and gentlemen, I [01:10:42] wanna thank you for listening. [01:10:43] I [01:10:44] wanna thank you for [01:10:45] watching. [01:10:46] And until next [01:10:47] time, as [01:10:48] always, [01:10:49] [01:10:50] I'll [01:10:51] [01:10:52] holla

Woo. [01:10:53] That was a hell of a show. [01:10:54] Thank you for [01:10:55] rocking with us [01:10:56] here on Unsolicited [01:10:57] Perspectives with Bruce [01:10:58] Anthony. Now, before [01:10:59] you go, don't [01:11:00] forget to follow, [01:11:01] subscribe, [01:11:02] like, [01:11:03] comment, and [01:11:04] share our [01:11:05] podcast. Wherever you're [01:11:06] listening or watching it to [01:11:07] it, pass it along to your [01:11:08] friends. If you enjoy [01:11:09] it, that means the [01:11:10] people that you rock, we'll [01:11:11] enjoy it also.[01:11:12]

So share the [01:11:13] wealth, share the [01:11:14] knowledge, share the [01:11:15] noise. [01:11:16] For all [01:11:17] those people that say, [01:11:18] well, I don't have a [01:11:19] YouTube. If you have a [01:11:20] Gmail account, you have a [01:11:21] YouTube. Subscribe to [01:11:22] our YouTube channel where you [01:11:23] can actually watch our [01:11:24] video podcast and [01:11:25] YouTube exclusive [01:11:26] content. [01:11:27] But the real [01:11:28] party is on our [01:11:29] Patreon page [01:11:30] after Hours [01:11:31] Uncensored and talking straight [01:11:32] ish after Hours.

[01:11:33] Uncensored is another [01:11:34] show with my sister, [01:11:35] and once again, [01:11:36] the key word [01:11:37] there is [01:11:38] uncensored. Those are [01:11:39] exclusively on our Patreon [01:11:40] page. Jump [01:11:41] onto our [01:11:42] [01:11:43] [01:11:44] website@unsolicitedperspective.com for all things [01:11:45] us. That's where you can get [01:11:46] all of our audio [01:11:47] video, our [01:11:48] blogs. And [01:11:49] even buy our merch. [01:11:50] And if you really [01:11:51] feel generous and want to [01:11:52] help us out, [01:11:53] you can donate [01:11:54] on our donations [01:11:55] page.

[01:11:56] Donations go strictly [01:11:57] to improving our [01:11:58] software and hardware [01:11:59] so we can keep [01:12:00] giving you guys good [01:12:01] content that you can [01:12:02] clearly [01:12:03] listen to and that you [01:12:04] can clearly see. [01:12:05] So any [01:12:06] donation would be [01:12:07] appreciative. Most importantly, [01:12:08] I wanna say [01:12:09] thank you, [01:12:10] thank you, [01:12:11] thank you [01:12:12] for listening and [01:12:13] watching and supporting [01:12:14] us, and I'll [01:12:15] catch you next time.[01:12:16]

Audi [01:12:17] 5,000 [01:12:18] [01:12:19] [01:12:20] [01:12:21] [01:12:22] [01:12:23] Peace.