Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥💥

Bruce Anthony: Death, narcissism and marriage. We gonna get into it. Let's get it.

Bruce Anthony: Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony. Here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation to follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast, YouTube exclusive content and our YouTube membership.

Rate review, like, comment, share, share with your friends, share with your family. Hell even share with your enemies. On today's episode, we're gonna be talking about a funeral home that went bad. We're gonna be talking about dealing with narcissists and what happens when you're unhappy with your marriage.

But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.

[00:01:00]

Bruce Anthony: I know a lot of people out there want to hear my thoughts on the Charlie Kirk killing and I'm gonna give 'em to you, just not on this show. I am gonna talk about everything I feel, everything that, I think, everything that's on my mind on an after hours episode when it's not really after hours, it's my own episode, but I'm gonna give my sister an opportunity to.

Fill something with me as well. It's gonna be in the after hours or my own show. Basically it's gonna be in our membership. The video will be out there for people that want to hear what we have to say, uh, but we're not putting it on this show. Uh, I got a lot to say. I have a tremendous amount to say and I have other things that I would like to talk about.

Charlie Kirk: The Conversation You Can’t Miss—After Hours! 🎙️🌙

Bruce Anthony: And I want the space to be able to talk about that absolutely [00:02:00] freely and not have an issue with it being put up on YouTube or with all the other audio platforms. I want the freedom, and I'm sure my sister does as well, the freedom to say exactly how we feel, what we think about the killing without causing detriment to our show.

Not to say that it would just a precaution, so sign up for our membership, like you could join the membership for. $2 and 99 cents a month, like $3 a month. And typically you don't get after hours uncensored. But I will put that video on that membership so people get an idea, a little bit about the content that we provide on our pay behind our paywall, and also get some of our thoughts that we can't say on the main show.

Or that probably shouldn't be said on the main show for a variety of [00:03:00] different reasons. Not typically, not solely talking about this particular topic, but just a variety of topics. We had the freedom, but we don't have to watch our language. We don't have to watch our mouth. We could just say whatever the hell we want to say.

We can't necessarily do it on this show, especially now that we're monetized. You know, we have sponsors and everything like we don't for the paywall. That's just us. So that's the reason why it's gonna be on, on. The behind the paywall in our membership program, I do want to say thoughts and prayers to them.

Babies, you know me, I'm always for the kids thoughts and prayers to them babies because they lost a father, and I've known people who lost a father at a very young age is gonna impact them for the rest of their life. So thoughts and prayers for them babies. Now onto the show. And that was kind of like a downer.

They Did WHAT Now?! New Segment Alert 😱🚨

Bruce Anthony: So I'm gonna bring us up with this [00:04:00] crazy story. Now, I decided to create an even newer segment that I hope that I'll routinely do because I think this is a, is a good idea for a segment. And hopefully I won't ever forget about it. But y'all know how I am when I create new segment titles and say, this is what we're gonna talk about for this segment, and then forget about it.

But this is. They did what now? That's the title of the segment. They did what now? And whenever I have a segment where they did what now? Just know that it's a story that when I tell you, you gonna be like, they did what now? Exactly. Alright, so John Halford. Faces multiple federal and state charges related to mishandling of nearly 200 bodies at the return to Nature Funeral Home in Penrose, Colorado, as well as fraud involving funeral payments [00:05:00] and COVID-19 relief funds.

Funeral Home Horror Story: 191 Bodies Found 💀⚰️

Bruce Anthony: So Halford. Is charged with 191 counts of abuse of a corpse after investigators discovered 191 decaying bodies improperly stored at his funeral home. Charges include allegations of providing families with dry concrete to mimic cremation ashes and burying the wrong bodies. Halford and his wife. Also faced federal wire fraud charges for defrauding funeral clients and the SBA, the small business administration of COVID-19 relief funds.

Hoff, uh, was sentenced in June 20, 25 to 20 years in federal prison in order to pay over $1 million in restitution for wire fraud and other related crimes, including forgery, theft and money laundering, and that was his wife. Harford originally pleaded guilty to state corpse abuse charges, but the judge [00:06:00] rejected his plea agreement leading him to withdraw the plea and head to trial.

The initial plea deal would've allowed Harford to serve 20 years sentence concurrently with his federal sentence. But this was rejected after an emotional testimony from victims' families who demanded a longer sentence. Prosecutors reportedly offered Harford a 30 to 50 year plea deal, which he also turned down, so the case will proceed to jury Trial scheduled for February 9th, 2026.

Harford's. Carrie Halford is also facing similar charges. She pleaded guilty in federal court, but withdrew her plea in the state court and is awaiting further hearings. Y'all. So when I just say that, 'cause there's more details that I'm gonna get into when I just say that you understand why this new segment is titled they did what now?

Because he did what now? [00:07:00] Uh, he, he, you know, he was a funeral home person and, and when your loved one passes, the, and your loved one could be anybody, right? This was human bodies. However, I've told the story of my dog passing away. How much that affected me. There was actually a couple of weeks ago as I was talking about crypto, there was a long soliloquy in one of the podcasts.

I cut that shit out because it got too damn emotional and I opened up my heart a little too much to you guys out there, the public, and I was like, I'm not posting this. But it was an emotional ordeal for me and I, I got him cremated and he's on my TV stand right now. His little box with his little name tag, crypto, and I got on the other side a little paw print and clay and a picture of him.

That's my man. As I got this though, I was thinking to myself, I don't technically know that's him. [00:08:00] I'm assuming that the company is on the up and up because the hospital, the emergency hospital, I took him to the vets there were wonderful and. I, I know they're on, up and up, so I'm going to assume that they have a partnership, a business agreement with another up and up company, but I don't know for sure.

And you can get DNA testing on the remains, which is what I'm sure a lot of these people did, but you don't know. Now imagine that's your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your son or daughter, your grandparents, your grandchildren. Not only. Did they give you ashes that were dried cement, but the bodies are decaying off behind the house?

Yeah, off behind the house. Yeah, I'd be furious. 20 years ain't enough time. I understand why the [00:09:00] people that were victimized in this situation, I talked about victimization the other day, right? This wasn't anything where they had any kind of accountability or responsibility like the these, they are completely and absolutely victims and they are calling for justice.

Trust Betrayed: The Dark Side of Funeral Business 😔💔

Bruce Anthony: For being wrong, and they are absolutely right. I would call for the chair personally, uh, the bodies, but dig this here. The bodies were stored from 2019 to 2023 and families received the fake ashes instead of proper cremation. Halford and his spouse used the defrauded money for personal luxuries, including travel and expensive cars.

The scandal has also exposed Colorado's weak funeral home regulations and led to renew calls to oversight reforms. But not only Dick is here. Not only [00:10:00] did you send me dried cement. Instead of my loved one, that right there means I gotta whoop your ass. That alone, that alone means I gotta whoop your ass immediately, urgently and be due diligent in that ass whooping.

That's, that's the first thing I gotta do. The second thing I gotta do when I'm done beating that ass. I want my damn money because you took my money. But not only did you give me dried cement, you took my money and you was big balling with it. And the words of baby and Drake from the great 2010 song, they had money to blow 'cause they was defrauding everybody, not just people that came to them to take care of their loved ones.

Also [00:11:00] the government. They got such a scam going on, but still defrauded the government with them PPP loans. Now them PPP loans was going all over the place. You know, I should have grabbed me one, but I don't wanna defraud the government 'cause I don't want the government after me. And maybe one day I might decide to run for office even though that's highly unlikely 'cause I gotta pass and let's move on.

But you living lavish while there are bodies, the part that I really didn't want to bring up. That I brought up earlier, but I'm not gonna go into great detail about it, is that these bodies were almost like in a backyard area, just kind of like decomposing. And did y'all hear the other part where I said even when they weren't cremating and they were burying bodies, they would be burying the wrong people?

Like

Drug Dealers vs Funeral Scammers: Who's Worse? 🤔💭

Bruce Anthony: just. Foul all the way around. And there is a record of Colorado, [00:12:00] as I said earlier, having bad regulations as far as oversight for these funeral homes. 'cause there was another case where it was like 20 bodies were misplaced or something like that. Now you hear, you hear stories of funeral homes having mix ups.

Every now and then, it's not. A common occurrence. I was talking to a friend the other day and I was like, you know what, through technology, this shouldn't happen anymore. But I believe, and I'm sure there are multiple cases that in the olden times I'm talking about like before my parents were born, even maybe when my parents were born, my parents were born in the late fifties.

But before that, how often do you think they messed up them babies in them nurseries, when babies was getting born in the hospital? How many times do you think one of them, them nurses that was in there caring for those babies was was, was slipping on their job and put the wrong tag on the wrong baby and families went home?

It's happened. It has happened, [00:13:00] right? So just know that that in particular with babies, probably not gonna happen today. Right? But you don't know what goes on in a funeral home behind. The scenes, if you decide to have, you know, an open casket viewing, then yeah. And even my family members who were cremated had an open casket viewing, so we knew it was them, but we don't know.

Like, I mean, I mean, we trust the funeral home, but we don't know that the loved ones that decided to get cremated, that after we did the viewing, that what we got was actually their body. This is a fair mind because I want to be cremated. I don't wanna be buried. What happens if I come back to life and I'm buried underneath the ground with spiders and snakes and I gotta try and crawl up?

I done seen that movie. Try and bury it alive. I don't want that. Go ahead and cremate [00:14:00] me. Take me out. Just look. I don't wanna be undead anyway. I wanna be cremated and, and for those that are my loved ones that want to keep a piece of me cool. But I already told everybody I wanna be cremated and I wanted my ashes spread it over the ocean in Hawaii.

'cause that's, that's my home. That's, that's where I feel the most at peace. That to me is, is heaven. That area just, I love it so much. And to think that these people. We're throwing bodies in the backyard or burying the wrong bodies. Getting dried seed, man, why wouldn't they just cremate the bodies like you?

You have the equipment. How lazy do you gotta be? And you live in Lish and you live in lashes. Lavish, double ass, whooping not. Look, I don't agree [00:15:00] with men putting their hands on women. She gotta get her ass whooped too. 'cause she right along with it. And they said lavish lifestyle, lavish trips, personal luxuries and expensive cars.

You could go out there and sell drugs before messing anybody else's body up and not cremating them and not bearing them. Right. I feel like that's more of a crime, that's more of a detriment to society. Is what these people did with the trust of the people that hand you their loved ones than drug dealers.

Drug dealer. The idea that drug dealers are out here. Remember when we was kids, we used to watch some after, uh, Saturday afternoon specials, or not Saturday afternoon after school specials, right? And it'd be the drug dealers like, Hey man, you wanna try this? Look, I done lived all at every social economic area that you could think of [00:16:00] besides the super ultra wealthy, right?

And, and I. No drug dealers. Okay. And not a one has ever walked up to anybody and been like, Hey man, you wanna try this? You should try this. It don't have to, it don't have to push drugs on you. Nobody has the A drug. The idea that somebody is a drug pusher is not a real thing. They're a drug seller. People are coming to them because they want drugs.

I feel like these people are more of a detriment to society than the drug dealer because people are coming to these people. To give them money to take care of their loved ones. Other people just go to drug dealers to buy some drugs. And I bought drugs before marijuana. Marijuana. I ain't never tried anything hard 'cause I'm scared marijuana.

And then nobody ever tried to be like, Hey man, you wanna try that? Friends and peer pressure friends have, but not drug dealers. Not drug dealers. These people, the [00:17:00] Halfords, are more of a detriment to society than drug dealers. And because of that, the victims are absolutely right. 20 years served concurrent.

'cause. See this, people don't get it. A lot of times when people are charged with something or, or sentenced to something, when they say concurrent, that just means that all those charges you, you got seven charges and all of 'em carried 20 years sentenced. You not getting 140 years. If they serve concurrent, you're serving all of those 20 years at one time.

So you get 20 years and you don't serve 20 years. 'cause typically you gonna get out parole with good behavior. Nah, nah, nah. I want them served consecutively. That means one right after another. The victims is absolutely right. I support the victims and I don't support the first man. Let me tell you this triple ass whooping, triple ass whooping.

That's crazy. This came across [00:18:00] my, you know, my algorithm is crazy. This came across my algorithm and that's the reason why I asked. They did what now? And I know you asking the same damn thing they did. What now?

Bruce Anthony: All right. Now transitioning from a crazy store's story, which included narcissists, I'm going to assume that the halfords were narcissists 'cause Good God. I did a show, I don't know how long ago, but I've done a show on narcissists. 'cause I feel like that term is being thrown down too much. Everybody's accusing everybody to be a narcissist, but there's a certain set of guidelines or principles that narcissists not follow, but have that designates them as narcissists.

Just because somebody is selfish doesn't mean that they're a narcissist. So I've already broke that down in a previous episode, but. [00:19:00] What I found interesting is this article, it, it was on today.com.

Dealing with Narcissists: Expert Tips Revealed 🧠🎯

Bruce Anthony: It's the best tactic to use when talking to a narcissist, according to a therapist. And it's written by Caroline Key.

And it's talking about, you know, this person is legitimately a narcissist, not you diagnosing them. They're a narcissist, right? And you have to interact with them. This article is about how you interact with a narcissist, and I thought, oh, this is, this is extremely interesting because though the term is being thrown around really loosely, there are definitely more than a few narcissists out there.

I used to think I was a narcissist, but narcissists don't typically have empathy, and I have a little bit too much empathy, not to make this about me, but it, this was legitimately a fear that I had. What I found out is I have a propensity [00:20:00] to date narcissists, and they were gaslighting me. Now, was I selfish in my youth?

Hell yeah. Am I still a little selfish now? Hell yeah. I try not to be, but you know, sometimes in life to make yourself happy, you gotta be a little selfish. I'm not talking about doing any, anybody bad. I'm just talking about creating boundaries for me. And sometimes creating boundaries for me means that you are selfish with your time.

I'm very selfish with my time. I need to have my recharge time. If I don't have my recharge time, it's gonna be hell for everybody. Because I could be a holy terror when I'm tired, annoyed, or aggravated, but I tend to date narcissists. Part of being a narcissist is gaslighting you, making you feel like you're the problem. Sometimes I was a problem. A lot of times I was not the problem. It was the people that I was dating. So in this article, the licensed therapist is, please excuse me, y'all know I'm not good with names.

Remind me, do ela. That's the best that I. Could do. [00:21:00] It was a complicated, it's a complicated name, uh, but she suggests that coping strategies include a narcissist, bingo card. This is a good way to handle interactions with narcissists, especially in unavoidable situations like families, holidays, and colleagues.

And let's talk about some of these unavoidable type of situations because. A lot of people would just say, well, if they're a narcissist, just don't deal with them. Sometimes you ain't got no choice. Sometimes they're their boss, sometimes they're your coworker. Sometimes they're, they're your family member and you're in their house for the holidays or they're at your house for the holidays, right?

Sometimes it's an ex spouse, but your co-parenting and you don't have any choice. Just because of a narcissist doesn't mean that you can cut them out because there might be obligations surrounding it where you have to deal with them. You don't got no choice. And unfortunately the life that that we are presented with is that sometimes we have to interact [00:22:00] and deal with people that we would necessarily not want to, but situations dictate that we have to.

And sometimes those people are narcissists. So the doctor. That of the person that I said they name earlier, I'm not gonna try to say it again, said you should create a narcissist bingo card. And what does that mean? So the narcissist Bingo card is a list of harmful or triggering behaviors exhibited by a narcissist.

Like what I used to have to deal with with some of my exes, gas lighting, and belittling. Comparisons. The more I read this article, the more I was like, damn, I really am attracted to narcissists and like bonafide narcissists, like not me just diagnosing them by myself. Just reading the, the list of what a narcissist and their traits and [00:23:00] being like, yep, that reminds me of so and so.

The Narcissist Bingo Card Strategy 🎲🎯

Bruce Anthony: Reminds me of so and so. Reminds me of so and so, and I always feel like I'm the issue because the gaslight. They belittle and they compare. So the doctor says, put this on your narcissist bingo card and track the behaviors during conversations and set a target like five occurrences, right? Just to give an example.

And then once they hit that marker of five occurrences, disengage from the conversation and then reward yourself afterwards for setting a boundary. And I thought that this was really, this was really a dope. Concept. Right? Because once again, you're in these type of situations and you gotta be in the situations 'cause they're your boss, they're your coworker, they, they're your professor, right?

They're, they're, they're your teacher. They're your student who you're teaching, right? They are, uh, your co-parent partner, right there, there are, there's a [00:24:00] family member and it's the holidays and you ain't got no choice. Like there are situations where you can't avoid. And when you make this narcissist bingo card and you have to interact with them once they hit, and it could be any number, it's up to what you can tolerate.

I personally, because I've got great experience with this, could tolerate a whole lot before I need to eject myself from the, from the conversation, but it's whatever it works for you. If it's one, as soon as they come out with one. You got to eject from the conversation, so be it. I would say, especially when it's your boss or a coworker or a family member or a co-parent, you need to, you need to develop just a little bit.

Not tougher skin, but a little bit more teeth because it can't be one 'cause then you're gonna be ejected from the conversation a lot. But this the therapist said, you know, as an example, five. And once it gets to five, you remove [00:25:00] yourself from the conversation and maybe give yourself a little reward for setting a boundary.

But you gotta set realistic expectations for narcissists and acknowledge their limits. So it's not about just your limits, you gotta acknowledge their, their limits as well, and using these grounded exercises to mentally prepare for their interaction. So like if, if you know you're co-parenting, you know your ex partner.

Absolutely a narcissist and that switch off of switching the children or planning a birthday party. 'cause you know, grandparents wanna be there and you can't have separate parties. Maybe you can, alright. Or, uh, you know, soccer practice or basketball practice or football practice or games or what have you.

Because I always tell parents all the time, they, they say, you know, me and my, me and their mom split, or me and me and their baby daddy split, you know, 18 years, I don't gotta deal with 'em no more. [00:26:00] Wrong. My parents are split. Me and my brother and sister are grown. My brother, my youngest brother's about to hit 40 and not too long, right?

And, and, and a few months, my youngest brother's about to hit 40 if a major event happens for either one of us. Both of our parents are gonna be there. They're not together anymore, but both of 'em are gonna be there. They're stuck with each other through us. They don't really have a choice. So the idea that you would be like, Hey, at 18, I don't have to deal with that other person anymore.

Wrong, you have to deal with that other person. That's just what it is. So. In this article, the therapist is saying, look, you know you're gonna have to have interaction with them. You know how they are. You also know you can't change who they are 'cause hell, they can't really change who they are. You gotta set realistic expectations for this interaction and you gotta mentally prepare yourself to know that you're gonna be dealing with some ish you are.

You know it. That's the reason why you got this narcissistic [00:27:00] bingo card. Once they hit that five, you eject from the rec, uh, from the conversation. Go reset. Give yourself a little treat. I don't know what the treat is, what the treat would be for me. Well, I don't know what the treat would be for me because if it was back in the day when I was in relationship by, but now I'm really good at picking up on that stuff and I, and I remove myself from that situation relatively quick.

'

Setting Boundaries: When Confrontation Isn't the Answer 🛑✋

Bruce Anthony: cause I'm good at picking up on the signs. But a little treat for me. What's a little treat? I did a little, I did a little shimmy when I was thinking about it. What's a little treat like a Snickers bar? Snickers or Mr. Goodbar? I love Mr. Goodbar candy bars. I love Mr. Goodbar candy bars. But then I'd be a, a fat bastard because I'm dealing with a narcissist, so I gotta take a bunch of little breaks.

So maybe something, you know. A little bit healthier, or for you as far as a treat, but understanding that you're not gonna change them, and you gotta mentally prepare yourself for this interaction that you're about to have, um, and recognize that [00:28:00] confrontation. Is rarely productive. Productive, and focus on managing personal reactions and actions.

Look, you already know they're a narcissist. You already know if you feed into that confrontation, it is not gonna go the way that you want to go. Because a narcissist though, they are sensitive and then they gonna play dirty. They gonna say dirty, and you think that you can go low. It's gonna hurt them not as low as they go.

So just realizing that confrontation is not gonna be productive for this situation. And, and the most important thing outta this situation is you get in, get what you need to get taken care of and get out with the most of your mental and emotional capacity still intact. Okay? This strategy helps maintain the presence and prevents emotional overwhelm or disorientation, so.

You know that you're dealing with these people that can get a [00:29:00] rise outta you. Don't let them get a rise outta you through this narcissistic bingo cards. If they hit these couple things, you remove yourself from the situation and you know they're gonna hit those couple of things. 'cause they never change.

They're always the same person. They're always gonna react the same person. They're always gonna react the same way. They're not going to change. How you handle them needs to change. And so how you handle them is do this little narcissist bingo card. Wait till they wait, till they hit their limit. Back outta that situation.

Realizing that you can't confront them, it's gonna escalate the situation. That's only gonna make it worse. Just remove yourself from the situation. Go gather yourself, give yourself a little treat. Come back. Re restart or continue where the last conversation ended to get to the point where you handle what [00:30:00] you needed to handle with this person and then step away.

Like I said, when you reach that bingo threshold to compose yourself and reduce distress. 'cause dealing with a narcissist is overwhelming. Mentally and emotionally, you need to step away to recenter yourself and then treat yourself kindly throughout the process. Remember that recovery from interactions and or relationships with a narcissist takes time.

It does. Don't let it mess up your whole day, but it might. But be kind to yourself by preparing yourself to deal with this person who you know is the absolute worst. You gotta deal with them because of whatever situation that's presented itself in front of you. Just be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up.

Don't let that gaslighting and that manipulation and the personal attacks and the comparison bring you down. Keep your [00:31:00] head up. And then also make sure to seek professional mental health support if needed. Like I'm a I I, if you listen and watch this show regularly. You know how big of a proponent I am for mental health, for going to talk to somebody.

I talk to people, it's often horned. It's not as consistent as it should be. 'cause my egotistical ass be feeling like I'm cured. And that's not how that works. Okay? It's, it's delusional. Uh, it's not how that works or I get wrapped up in work or things of that nature and, you know, I'm like, okay, I'll get started again and I forget.

But when I'm on it, it is the greatest thing that I could possibly have because it gives me an opportunity. For somebody who really isn't that open. Now, you guys may think that I'm open because I talk about a lot and I talk and I'll talk about my life. Me and my sister would talk about our lives and it's all surface stuff.

Very rarely do I get [00:32:00] down and deep about what's going on. Emotional case in point, I told y'all on the previous segment, there was a show that I recorded, I don't know, maybe a month ago, two months ago, where I went into this long, this long speech. About how my dog's death affected me. And as I was editing the show, I said, nah, I'm gonna go ahead and cut that out.

It was like a good three to four minutes of just me talking about how I felt and I was like, nah, I'm gonna cut that out. They don't even be knowing all that. So I'm not as open emotionally in public, and even with people close to me as I should be, it's easier for me to talk to a stranger. It helps me regulate my emotions and give me, it gives me mental clarity.

And so if you're dealing with a narcissist, a true narcissist, not somebody that you labeled a narcissist, a true narcissist, yo, you need to talk to somebody, a professional, not your home girl, girl, not your [00:33:00] homeboy, not the pastor at the church, unless they have a degree, a doctorate, right? Somebody who actually went to school for this because they know the steps that are necessary to help you through these tough times.

But going back to the narcissistic Bingo card, what it does is it empowers you. To set clear boundaries without escalating conflict. That's the most important thing. It's going to be conflict when you're dealing with a narcissist. You don't wanna escalate it, but you also want to set your boundaries and it offers simple, actionable framework for self-care during unaffordable difficult conversations.

And, and I got a lot of friends, you know, I got a lot of friends who are on one side of the aisle politically. And they got family members, close family members, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters who are on the other side [00:34:00] politically, and things are extremely contentious politically and they don't like going home for the holidays.

It's uncomfortable because they know certain conversations are gonna be brought up even when they say, Hey, look it, I'm not trying to have this conversation with you. The boundaries have been set, but the people are not honoring the boundaries. But this is your family. It's the holidays. Everybody's gonna be there.

Me and my family's a little different. Well, me and my sister and my brother, nope. My mom and dad as well. Like we all, the five of us get this. Honestly, we are not gonna be inconvenience. We don't give a damn. If it is a family member, we don't give a damn if it's one of the five of us, if we have an issue.

We're gonna talk to you about it. If you can't respect our boundaries, then you don't get to enter our boundaries. That's just us. But I know a lot of people out there can't do that emotional cutoff that we're so good at, [00:35:00] or, or at least I'm really, really good at. Uh, not a lot of people could do that. And not a lot of people had the situations where, where they can do that.

Um, everybody could do that if they wanted to, but you know, you love the people. You want to see 'em. And, and, and I get it. I'm not faulting you for that. But this, this idea of dealing with not only narcissists, I think this is good to just dealing with difficult situations or difficult people, this bingo card, and to eject yourself from a situation, mentally prepare yourself for a, for a situation, and then eject it yourself from the situation, the moment it starts going left and still keeping to maintain that healthy mental and emotional balance and wellbeing.

Self-Care After Narcissist Encounters: Recharge & Recover 🧘‍♂️💪

Bruce Anthony: This, it, it does help you. When I read this, it was, I was like, this is, this is really good. This does help you maintain your mental and emotional [00:36:00] balance and stability when dealing with people. And I would say, yes, this is great for narcissists. This is great for anybody that you have difficulty with. I was supposed to have a meeting a couple of days ago.

I canceled that meeting. I knew certain things that were happening in the world. The person that I, that was going to, one of the people that was gonna be at the meeting, was going to want to talk about the things that was going out there in the world very aggressively. And I was not interested in having that dialogue with that particular person.

Not at all. So I canceled the meeting. I said, no, I'm gonna go ahead and cancel the meeting. And we're gonna reconvene next week, but here's some things that needs to be taken care of and we'll meet next week. Because I, I didn't have the mental and emotional capacity to deal with what I knew was coming. [00:37:00] I read this article after I posted, uh, canceled that meeting.

But even if I had read it before, I'd have been. This person, I know this person. Even if I set the boundary, Hey, we're not talking about this. They're gonna find some way to weave it in. Just some people are just like that. Some people are just like that. They have a fire up their ass and they need to talk about something.

They need to tell you their opinion, and I can't fault them because here I am with a podcast, right? But just because you got a fire up your ass and you want to say something does not mean I need to listen to it. It doesn't. When I canceled that meeting, there was a huge weight that came off of my shoulders and I was like, yeah, that was the right decision.

Mental Health Matters: Get Support, Stay Strong 🧑‍⚕️🧠

Bruce Anthony: That was the absolute right decision. 'cause I know me, this is before I read this article, I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna be confrontational 'cause that's just kind of who I am. I'm a confrontational type of person and that was just going to [00:38:00] escalate what was going to be a meeting that had nothing to do with that.

The point I'm trying to make is, yes, the premise of the article was dealing with narcissists, but this bingo card works with dealing with any difficult situation. And I, and I really think that people should really start doing this. You know, you about to go into a difficult, difficult situation. Set your bingo card, and when you know it hits that, those certain occurrences, go ahead and remove yourself.

Regather, recenter. Then go back in and move forward. It'll be healthier, you'll be happier, hopefully. And then also get some, get some help. Get some help. But speaking of getting help, people out there need to get help. If you're in an unhappy marriage, there are. Multiple [00:39:00] ways that you could handle not being in a happy marriage.

But what this gentleman did that I'm about to talk about in the next segment was not the way you handle being in an unhappy marriage. And I'm gonna get into exactly what he did next.

Bruce Anthony: Now, this could be another segment of they would, they did what? Now? This could legitimately be another segment, because when this story came across my timeline, I said, what? Look, as a person that was in an unhappy marriage, I wasn't even really married that long, but as a person that was in an unhappy marriage, there are ways in which you can get out of the marriage that are, you know.

Pretty customary or pretty normal, right? You don't have to do no off the wall, crazy [00:40:00] stuff. Not unless you know you're being physically abused or something like that, and you might have to come up with a crazy scheme to get out of a situation. But what this man did to get out of his marriage was nuts. So who am I talking about?

The man I'm talking about is Ryan Borg, Borg Ward. Borg Ward. He's 45. He's my age and he's a cabinet maker from Watertown, Wisconsin, and he is married to Emily and he faked his own

Man Fakes Death to Escape Marriage 😱🏃‍♂️

Bruce Anthony: death and lied to his wife. To get outta marriage. Now, we've heard of this before, people faking they deaf to get out of a marriage, but this story was just a little bit different.

So what did Ryan do? Ryan staged his disappearance about a year ago on August 11th, 2024, during a kayaking trip on the [00:41:00] Green Lake wi in Wisconsin. Uh, USA. He sent final text to his wife, promising to return to shore soon, and telling her that he loved her. Then he vanished. So what he did was is he told his wife, Hey, look, baby, I'm gonna go out there and check out these Northern lights, you know, just to let you know I'm gonna be home a little late.

But you know, don't, you ain't gotta wait off from me, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you. I'm just gonna check out these New Orleans lights, you know, they're gonna look beautiful at night. Alright, baby. I love you too. Be careful. That was a text message. Exchange, exchange. I'm paraphrasing.

I'm paraphrasing, but that's basically what they said. I'm not paraphrasing that much. I, I'm put, you know, I put the little hip hop in it. You, I put a little bass, little Luther Vandross little uh, Barry White in it. But that's basically what they were saying to each other. Then he vanished. She wakes up the next morning.

He's not home. She's texting where you at? He [00:42:00] ain't there. So after a few hours, she called the police like he was out there at the lake going to see the Northern Lights. He ain't come home, he ain't answering his text. We need to find him. So, lemme tell y'all what he did. He deliberately capsized his kayak offshore and left an overturned kayak and his life jacket behind to make it seem like. He had drowned and make it seem like it was credible. Then he had an e-bike nearby. He paddled a child size inflatable boat back to land, and then rode that e-bike 70 miles through the night to Madison, Wisconsin from Madison.

He boarded a bus to Detroit. Crossed into the Canadian border into Canada, and ultimately flew to Georgia, not [00:43:00] Georgia, the country, Georgia, to meet a woman that he had been conversing with online that he fell in love with. Her name was Katata. Now they said she was from Uzbekistan.

They said she was from Ukraine. Whichever one. He done fell. He done fell. He fell in love with Kat, both literally and figuratively. He fell in love with Kat. Look at what this man did. He faked his own death pretending that he had drowned. He rode an E-bike 70 miles. Look, I used to ride bikes all the time, right?

Riding pedal bike, riding 30 miles is tough. You got to be in shape. To do that. Now he got an e-bike, but the e-bikes charge goes for only so long. You got to pedal, okay? You got to pedal. This dude traveled 70 miles, took a [00:44:00] bus, took a bus to Detroit, crossed over to Canada. I, oh, I forgot the, the, the next thing took a flight to Georgia.

From Canada took a flight to Georgia, right? He had been prepared for months. He didn't change his email. He inquired about moving money to foreign banks. He bought himself a new passport. He cleaned up his browser history. He even took out a $375,000 life insurance policy all to get away from this marriage.

The Great Escape: From Wisconsin to Georgia 🌍✈️

Bruce Anthony: Now, once again, I can say there are easier ways to get out of the marriage. Before I go into how he got caught, he gave an explanation after he got caught. I'll tell you how he got caught in a minute, but he gave an explanation afterwards and what he said was, is that he just felt distant at home that, that he felt distant from his wife and his [00:45:00] kids.

He was like, yo, I like to do all these things. All these activities. My kids don't wanna do nothing with me. Case in point, wasn't none of his kids with him to go out there to see the Northern Lights kayaking. Now, I'm not a big fan of kayaking. I'm not a big fan of getting in the lakes. 'cause lakes are dirty and disgusting and I'm not a big fan of kayaking because them bad boys can flip over and then you can fall in the lake.

I know some people go swimming in lakes. That ain't gonna be me. That's some dirty water. I'm not going to swim in no lake. Okay, that's just me. But if you had a boat. Even if it was a paddle boat, if he had a boat to go out there and see the Northern Lights, I'd do that in a minute. That seemed dope. I'll go out there with you, daddy.

You know if that was one of his kids, I'd go out there with you. Daddy, can we get a six pack on the way or bring some tequila? That sound like a dope time to see the Northern Lights. Oh, that sound like a dope time, but he's saying like, look, my kids don't like doing none of the stuff that I like to do.

I'm out here by myself, raw dogging [00:46:00] life. My wife don't even wanna do the things that I do. I feel lost at home. I get online and Cat out here in, in Georgia talking about she want to be with me. Talking about that. I'm funny talking about that, that, you know, I have interesting things to say. Giving me some attention.

That's basically the reason why he said that he went all the way to Georgia. Once again, ladies and gentlemen. Not Georgia, USA, Georgia, the country. So how did he get caught? Because he went through all this stuff. I mean, my man cleared his browser history. Wasn't that good enough? He got himself a new passport.

He, he got that e-bike road at 70 miles to get away. Okay? Went in and Canada took a flight from Canada to Georgia. He actually landed in Paris first, and then found his way into Georgia, right? He went through all that. How could the plan go wrong? Police and volunteers searched for his body for weeks using [00:47:00] boats, sonar and divers, but found nothing.

Why? Because he wasn't there. By October, 2024, authorities had noticed Canadian law enforcement. Enforcement checked Ryan's passports. Dave's after his, in his disappearance, raising alarms, so they out there looking for a body. Don't find nobody. Don't find nobody. So they just doing little hits all over the place.

Maybe, you know, somebody stole his idea, credit card or something like that. May, maybe it wasn't, you know, an accidental, maybe something happened. Maybe this isn't, you know, a simple death. Maybe it's a homicide. We got to do more investigating, you know, good policing. Good policing. And when they did this, they found out, yo, his passport got checked.

Canada after he disappeared. We [00:48:00] need to look into this. So investigators discovered his online communications with Kat and obtained forensic evidence from his laptop that he was alive overseas. See, this is the thing that people don't get. Just 'cause you clean some cookies off your laptop don't mean that bad boy is clear.

They, you know what you, you can't, you can legitimately wipe computers, but you need to get a professional laid done. He didn't get his computer professionally white. So they found, they found all his communication with Kat and found out all his search history of him, you know, looking for ways and banks to transfer money and things like that, and looking up areas.

And he out there playing picnics in Georgia and stuff like that. I'm exaggerating. He probably didn't do that, but maybe he did. Right? And they were able to obtain that forensic evidence from off his laptop. The Green Lake County Sheriff's Office. Established contact with Ryan va, a Russian speaking woman who was probably cat, who they thought [00:49:00] was probably Cat and even sent police a video confirming he was safe with persistent detective work. Including tracking digital trails and appealing to his sense of responsibility. He returned willingly to Wisconsin in December, 2024. Ryan pleaded no context to obstruction an officer and was sentenced to 89 days in jail equal to the number of days he was missing in order to pay $30,000 in restitution.

Love Gone Wrong: The Price of Faking Death 💔💸

Bruce Anthony: ' cause they done spent $50,000 searching for him because they thought he had drowned. And this was all because. He wanted to leave his wife and live in Georgia with Kat. Now he could still go back and I told you that after he came forward, he came, he came, he returned willingly and pled guilty at no contest.

You know, they was like, yo, man, like why you do all this? Like, why did you do all this? He is like, [00:50:00] yo, look, I feel like I wasn't getting love. You know, I felt like I wouldn't get love and I found me a woman that, you know, wanted to, wanted to, you know, love on me. He basically became a passport, bro. He's just a cabinet maker from Watertown, Wisconsin and like going and looking at the Northern Lights at the lake, no matter, a woman from Georgia who is either Uzbekistan or Ukrainian and, uh, fell in love.

And went all the way out there and they was together. This was one of them crazy times where it wasn't a catfish. 'cause that, that catfish episode would be absolutely crazy. What, what if he did all that? And he went out there and it was, uh, a dude named Gerald. He was British and just had moved to Georgia and was like, I thought you fell in love with my personality and not my body.

That would be a crazy catfish. That should be, [00:51:00] uh, a skit. Either Dave Chappelle or Key and Pill could do that, but that would be funny as hell. But my man felt lonely. Now I don't, I don't give you no reason to go through all of this, because even if your kids don't wanna do no activities with you, that don't mean that they don't love you.

So you gonna fake your own death. You thought you was better off. You thought they was better off with you faking your death and moving to Georgia with your boo. All right, well, you can still do that. Oh, by the way. Emily, his wife divorcing his ass. She, it didn't take her long. It didn't take her long. She filed for divorce four months after he returned it, which I guess is what he wanted, right?

So he gonna get what he want after he pay that 30,000 restitution and spend that 89 days in jail, he can go right back to Georgia, go be with Kat if that's what he want to do. But people out there, if you're in a marriage or in a relationship, you don't wanna be with that person anymore. You could just have a conversation.

It's really not that difficult. It's [00:52:00] a conversation better than avoiding it. Better get that truth out there. Hey look, I just had to do it a co a couple of months ago. Hey, look, I don't think that this is working out. I think you're a great person, but I don't think this is gonna work out. I feel strongly that this isn't gonna work out long term, not in a romantic capacity.

Maybe we could still be friends. But in a romantic capacity, this just will not work out. And I feel like it's best to go ahead and address that now, then try to carry on just because we enjoy each other's company. 'cause enjoying each other's company isn't enough. Now granted, it has to be a different type of conversation when you're in a marriage, but it could still be a conversation.

Better Ways to End a Marriage 💑➡️💔

Bruce Anthony: I've had that conversations too. It is just like, Hey, this is not working out. It is better for us to be happy separately than miserable together. [00:53:00] And it's not about putting in the work. Sometimes things have just run its course, but that doesn't mean that you go through an elaborate scheme to go meet your online boo in Georgia.

This was crazy. And Ryan, you crazy for it. Maybe it was a midlife crisis. He is 45. I don't know. But there was a lot easier ways to leave your wife and kids than this. We should go back to the olden times. All you had to do was go over to the next town and have a family. That's a joke. That's a joke. Don't come from me.

That was a joke. But anyway, ladies and gentlemen, woo. I tell you, the world is crazy right now. But every now and then to get through the madness, we need a little bit of laughter and Ryan. Definitely gave us that with his, uh, riding an e-bike. At least he, at least he was smart enough to get an e-bike and didn't try to ride 70 miles.

He would've threw up on that bus to Detroit. That's, this is crazy. [00:54:00] There's so many other ways that you can leave your wife and kids. You don't have to go this crazy route. Mm mm But on that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for watching. Until next time. As always, I'll holler.

Outro: Stay Connected & Join the Community 🤝❤️

Bruce Anthony: Woo. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast. Wherever you're listening or watching it to it, pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock, we'll enjoy it also.

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Audi 5,000 Peace.