[00:00:00]

Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥💥

Bruce Anthony: Believe it. When people show you who they are. Also remember, if they're asking for too much, might have to cut 'em off. We gonna get into it. Let's get it.

Bruce Anthony: Welcome, first of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony. Here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content rate review. Like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family. Hell even share with your enemies.

Sibling Happy Hour: Spicy Takes & Drinks 🍹🌶️

Bruce Anthony: On today's episode, it's the sibling happy hour. I'm here with my sis Jay, Andrea. We're gonna be dilly dding a little bit. Then we're gonna be talking about menopause, [00:01:00] and then we're gonna be talking about friends that ask for a little too much. that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show. What up sis?

1. Aundrea: What up, brother?

Bruce Anthony: I can't call it. I can't call it, but I can't call it.

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: situation where I can

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: can't call it.

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Trust Broken: When Friends Show Their True Colors 🤔💔

Bruce Anthony: However, I had an interesting conversation with somebody. Now I'm not gonna get into the specifics of the conversation because people are tired of me telling they business,

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: but.

I know I've talked about this before on my own show, but I want to get your perspective on this. A

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: friend of mine just ended a friendship with another friend of theirs,

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: and the reason was is because that friend of theirs did something a little bit shady.

1. Aundrea: Oh,

Bruce Anthony: And when my friend [00:02:00] told me the story, I said, I don't know why you're surprised. This person has shown you who they were to everybody else. You just thought you was different.

1. Aundrea: mm

Bruce Anthony: And it's a common misconception

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: have deal with their friends, families. For me personally, women that I've dated, like they show you who they are, the way they interact with other people, that's who they are.

Don't think that you're going to be treated differently. You

1. Aundrea: No,

Bruce Anthony: You gonna catch it. It just may take a little while.

1. Aundrea: like, have you ever seen the movie? He's just not that into you.

Bruce Anthony: I think I have

1. Aundrea: Where he talk, where he talks about being the rule and not the exception. Most people are the rule. Most people are not the exception. So

Bruce Anthony: they always think that, that they are

1. Aundrea: they always think that they're the exception. No, you're the rule. If somebody look, if you could watch somebody do another person dirty, [00:03:00] know that, that you could be next, it's like, don't think just, well, dang, they did that person dirty.

Oh, well, no, no, remember that. Don't forget it. And remember that when you start letting information out, you know that just, you know, remember that this person, somebody said, somebody said this once, and it is true. If you see somebody kill a bug outside, don't trust that person.

Bruce Anthony: Wait a.

1. Aundrea: A, a bug just outside in the world in its habitat.

Bruce Anthony: Uh oh. Okay. Did the bug fly in your face and you swatted it

1. Aundrea: No. You, you walk in down the sidewalk, you see a bug and you step on it. I don't trust a person like that. That bug was just literally living its life in its habitat and you came and stepped on it. No, I don't trust people will show you who they are. [00:04:00] Like watch them, watch how they are with their friends.

Watch how they are with their coworkers. Watch how they treat people in the service industry. Watch how they treat their family. Like just watch and you'll see a good indicator. I think it's always a good idea for a, uh, one of your first dates to be going out to dinner because you gotta see how that other person treats people

Red Flags: How People Treat Wait Staff Says It All 🍽️👀

1. Aundrea: in the service industry.

I.

Bruce Anthony: you ain't gotta look, I as a male, I say you ain't gotta go out to dinner 'cause it's coming out of our pockets.

1. Aundrea: Well, you, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. But my point is like they, you wanna see how they interact with people in the service industry? Yes,

Bruce Anthony: I, I went out on a date, uh, probably about a month ago or something like that, and I picked up on the fact I'm very keenly aware. 'cause I'm always like, thank you so much,

1. Aundrea: yes, yes.

Bruce Anthony: please.

1. Aundrea: Just general common courtesy. Yes.

Bruce Anthony: And, and this person didn't [00:05:00] get nasty or rude, but just was basically like almost didn't acknowledge them.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: And I mean, it wasn't rude, but it, it wasn't up to my standard

1. Aundrea: Direct.

Bruce Anthony: think people should be treated. When somebody brings something to you, even if it's their job, you say Thank you.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, I, I'm sorry. You just say thank you. When they drop that plate or they drop that drink or whatever, like, oh, thank you so much. If they come and they start, you know, clearing away dishes, thank you. Because they could, 'cause they could've left that dish right there, crowding up everything, getting in the way.

Like just because they're in service doesn't mean you gonna get good service. Okay. So when you do acknowledge it,

Bruce Anthony: Just because they're in service don't mean that they're your servant.

1. Aundrea: thank you.

Bruce Anthony: Uh, you know, but, but back to this thing about people, you know, showing you who they are. I had this friend in high school. People that know me and know me back then are gonna know who I'm talking about, but I'm still not gonna put this [00:06:00] person's name out there like

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: I wouldn't put this person's name out there anyway,

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Regardless.

Bruce Anthony: they had sticky fingers. What I mean by that was, is I couldn't go anywhere with them,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: them pickpocketing something,

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: out of the grocery store and, and be like, Hey, man, I got this stuff. I was like, you got money?

1. Aundrea: right.

Bruce Anthony: buy it.

Why do you always need to steal?

1. Aundrea: Klepto.

Bruce Anthony: Well, it was more than that. This person just wasn't a trustworthy. And

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: up on the fact that I was like, you stealing and you don't have to steal.

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: not, I understand the allure as Jay-Z says, of breaking the law.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, yeah,

Bruce Anthony: somewhat intoxicated,

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: you clipping a Snickers bar from the seven 11,

1. Aundrea: Like what was the point of that?

Bruce Anthony: the point of that?

And

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: and that, and then, and that person kind of betrayed me later on in college and

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: something to a, to a, a female friend of mine that I [00:07:00] told him in confidence that I obviously didn't want her to know. And he did that to do a end round to try and get with her. And I was like, I knew you was this person this entire time.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: who you were. I've had it with females that I dated, like certain ways that they treated their parents.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I was like, how you gonna get mad? Your dad 'cause he's sick.

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: a holiday and you had this all planned and you was really looking forward to holiday, your dad is sick.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: instead of being upset that the holiday is ruined, you should be worried about how sick your father is.

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: But once again, I'm always thinking I'm special just because mom and dad told us we were special

1. Aundrea: yeah,

Bruce Anthony: and think, I think I'm the exception to the rule and

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: never been the exception to the

1. Aundrea: Well, and also you gotta ask yourself, do you wanna be,

Bruce Anthony: sometimes.

1. Aundrea: do no. 'cause I mean, you know, this person is not trustworthy. Do you really wanna be the [00:08:00] exception to the rule of a a, a person that is not trustworthy?

Bruce Anthony: Well, hold on. Not trustworthy or nice. There's two different things.

1. Aundrea: this was your, this was, I'm working off your scenario.

Bruce Anthony: well, which one? 'cause I gave you

1. Aundrea: The one, the person with the sticky fingers, like do, like, do you want to be the exception to a person like that? I'm gonna tell you, I actually, uh, it was a long time ago, but I heard a friend that I considered a friend at the time talking crazy to her mother, and I was like, oh, no.

And I, I'm not friends with that person because I'm like, if you could talk crazy to your parents, I don't,

Bruce Anthony: hold on. Now did they talk crazy to their parents in front of folks or you just heard them

1. Aundrea: no, it was, I was standing there.

Bruce Anthony: Oh, okay. Yeah. No,

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: crazy to your parents. Look, I'm tired of raising my parents. Okay.

1. Aundrea: They hardheaded it.

Bruce Anthony: [00:09:00] hardheaded, they, they hardheaded as hell. And every now and then you got a checkup.

You

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I'm tired of raising you.

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: You supposed to be a grownup. Stop being this stubborn. But

1. Aundrea: yeah,

Bruce Anthony: do it in front of somebody.

1. Aundrea: No, this was not a situation where this person was like asserting a boundary or something like that. No, they were just talking crazy to their mother, and I was like, oh no. 'cause if you could talk that crazy to your mama, what you saying about me behind my back or something like that? Or what would you say to my face?

Or what would you say about me in front of other people that's, I was like, nah, nope. No. When people show you who they are, I believe them.

Bruce Anthony: lost a friend, somebody that said they was like my big bro,

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: because I hired them and then had to fire 'em.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: And another mutual friend said, don't do that. Don't, don't hire 'em.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: was like, no, no, no, no, no. That's my big bro. You know how they are. I was like, nah, [00:10:00] gonna do me like that.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: like. Like jeopardized my standing in the company

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: here I am, the boss. I hired you.

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: for you. I'm paying you more than I'm paying anybody else.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: to be my homie and I trust you. And here you go, screwing me.

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: was like that person had always shown me who they were.

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Always. See that's my problem. I be trusting in the good in people when I should just trust in the real.

1. Aundrea: No, you, your problem is you expect people to behave like you

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Well,

1. Aundrea: instead of taking them at as who they are. You're expecting people to treat you, treat your business, treat your thing, treat your space, everything the way you would. That's what you're expecting. That's what we're all expecting. We're all expecting to be liked, loved, respected, the way we would respect [00:11:00] and like, and love somebody else, and when they don't act the way we expect them to act, then it's like, then it's a problem.

So, no. Yeah, you have to see, you do have to meet people where they are, but if people are showing you that they're not trustworthy, they won't keep your confidence. They're not honest. Things like that. Believe that. Believe that for sure.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, I, okay. I get what you're saying, where you're like, are looking for people to respect you and your surrounding and your things as if you would.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: Sometimes, sometimes people's expectations are higher than their standard.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: th uh, th their standard for themselves.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: more from other people than they expect from themselves.

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: that really be driving me crazy. I'm like, but hold up though. [00:12:00] You be doing this. So how you going to

1. Aundrea: Right,

Bruce Anthony: than you when you doing the same thing?

1. Aundrea: right. How you gonna get that at homeboy for doing fraud? And you do fraud.

Bruce Anthony: do fraud. I don't do that type of fraud

1. Aundrea: You sell drugs in the community. Like, how you gonna come on? How you gonna fight that? You know, so, yes.

Bruce Anthony: be people be out here being real life bonafide hypocrites

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: will not throw everybody out and not call myself out as well. 'cause I be a hypocrite sometimes too.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: However, when somebody calls me out on my hypocrisy, I'll be like, oh, you know what you did right on that one.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sometimes you just have blind spots and you don't realize it.

Hypocrisy Unmasked: Double Standards & Calling Out the Fakes 🧐🚨

Bruce Anthony: I had to call somebody out for their hypocrisy on religion.

1. Aundrea: Mm.

Bruce Anthony: Well, you know me, I love when someone, I get one of them hypocritical Christians start, [00:13:00] start getting the preaching.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: be like, okay, well what about this, this and this? We all sin? I was like, yeah, but you judging other people's sins a

1. Aundrea: Right,

Bruce Anthony: Hell of a harder than you judging yourself.

1. Aundrea: right.

Bruce Anthony: person was like, what did the person say? This person sent me a meme.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: And I was like, oh, you really don't know me. Because they sent me a meme and it was basically a, a, a a bro on a trans person.

1. Aundrea: Yeah. They don't know you.

Bruce Anthony: And I, and I was like, why'd you send this to me?

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: They'd say that there's something that they're not. And I was like, I'm, I'm not that. I'm not your ally

1. Aundrea: Yeah. No.

Bruce Anthony: this one. You, you honestly don't know me.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: And it was like, it's against God's word. I was like, first of all, no it isn't.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, didn't mention it at all. It's not mentioned and

Bruce Anthony: just because you go to Bible study, I was like, yo, didn't you just hook up with a dude that [00:14:00] that helped you out on your rent and you thought this was your man?

Faith vs. Facts: The Religion Hypocrisy Showdown ⛪🤯

1. Aundrea: nah, didn't I see you eat a seafood boil the other day? We are not supposed to be eating shrimp and stud that crawl on the bottom of the ocean according to the Bible. But I swear I saw you eating a seafood boil the other day. So you already, you already, you already wrong.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. I'm like, hold on. You out here having premarital sex? And I was like, the Bible say absolutely. Something about that. I was

1. Aundrea: Boop.

Bruce Anthony: talk about judging.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: also talks about vanity. I

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: out here doing some of the most, you participating in a lot of the seven deadly sins, but you want to judge somebody else on something that the Bible don't even talk nothing about.

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Yeah. That is the number one hypocritical thing about Christian nationalism. It is. Like I say, if Jesus didn't say nothing about it, baby, leave me alone.[00:15:00]

Bruce Anthony: Well, you know, I, I'm not, we not gonna get into the religion conversation

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: I promise we not

1. Aundrea: We are not gonna do it.

Bruce Anthony: this one thing

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: it won't lead into a deep dive. I don't want it to, but I do have to say this, American religion is not true Christianity.

1. Aundrea: Well you just said something that is going to, you gonna receive so much hate mail.

Bruce Anthony: know I am. And you know what? I don't care because it's not America. Okay. Let I, I said something, it was real generalized. Lemme get

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Evangelical. No, there's a lot of different denominations

1. Aundrea: Yes, yes,

Bruce Anthony: that say that they're Christian, but they really focus on a lot of the Old Testament

1. Aundrea: yes.

Bruce Anthony: all, end all.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: And I'm like, well, you say you're a Christian.

1. Aundrea: You supposed to be in the sequel.

Bruce Anthony: Christianity is based on, uh,

1. Aundrea: [00:16:00] supposed to be in, you supposed to be in God book two.

Bruce Anthony: Right, right, right, right. And they, they stuck in the Old Testament.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: like, oh, okay. You, when you look at a lot of the laws were established, how this country was established, it was Old Testament.

1. Aundrea: Hmm

Bruce Anthony: Testament. So yeah, that's what I mean by a lot of people. If you out there practicing Jesus's teachings, his true teachings, then, then you rac

1. Aundrea: Well,

Bruce Anthony: Christianity. But a

1. Aundrea: well,

Bruce Anthony: American Christianity.

1. Aundrea: and we only say that because we only know. Christianity in America opens, we're American, so we don't know nowhere else. Uh, uh, I was, I would, I would, I would limit it to things like Christian nationalism, religious right, and things like that. And the reason being, the reason they stay in the Old Testament as opposed to book two Okay.

Is because Jesus isn't giving them anybody to hate.

Bruce Anthony: Mm. [00:17:00] Well I, uh, let's not just solely say Christian nationalism, 'cause I know a lot of Baptists that

1. Aundrea: Oh

Bruce Anthony: that same type of hate.

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: So

1. Aundrea: So

Bruce Anthony: the reason why I said in, there's

1. Aundrea: I,

Bruce Anthony: of, look Mormons, they excluded black people until the seventies.

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: even be black and Mormon. Now I walk down the street, Mormons is all up in my face talking about, Hey, you wanna go to church?

I was like, I thought I wasn't allowed. All right. That's enough of religion. 'cause we gonna go off on a, on a

1. Aundrea: On a tangent. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: we definitely gonna do that. But I tell you what's also crazy

1. Aundrea: What's that?

Bruce Anthony: menopause. We going get into that next

Bruce Anthony: Jay. We gonna talk [00:18:00] about menopause

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: and look, some of my men are gonna be turned off by this, but don't worry guys, I'm gonna bring it all around. The reason why this affects you as well and why you need to be a little bit more considerate

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: fact that you don't have to go through this.

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: you said you wanted to go through menopause and I don't even

1. Aundrea: No, I said we could talk about menopause. Not that I wanted to go through menopause. I don't even wanna go through menopause. Why would I wanna,

Bruce Anthony: I didn't mean go through it.

1. Aundrea: oh.

Bruce Anthony: like get to it,

1. Aundrea: Okay. Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: it. 'cause I don't even know what menopause is.

1. Aundrea: something made up. I don't think it's a thing.

Bruce Anthony: Alright. Well I was reading this article.

Menopause Mayhem: Surprising Links to Oral Health 🦷🌡️

Bruce Anthony: It was in NNBC News. It's written by, uh, the contribu contributing added.

Hmm. Contribu. Mm. This tastes pretty good. This tastes pretty good by Bethany Hitman, the contributing editor from NBC News. And the title of the article is Menopause Can Do a Doozy on Your Teeth. what to Do. So [00:19:00] lot of people are like menopause and teeth. Bruce, what is your point to all of this? My point is to establish that women be going through it.

So in this article, it highlights a significant but often overlooked impact of menopause on oral health. Declining estrogen levels during menopause can trigger a range of dental issues, including dry mouth, increased risk of cavities, gum disease, and even changes in taste. Now, when I read that, I said that's the reason why women have such a hard time pick, picking out what restaurant they want to go to. Women don't come at me. That's just a joke. It's just a joke,

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: also explains a lie. Anyway, the the article features insights from both a gynecologist and a dis and, and a dentist who explain these effects and provide practical strategies for maintaining oral health during menopause, such as good oral hygiene, which by the way, you should be doing

1. Aundrea: yeah. You really should.

Bruce Anthony: Staying hydrated. Regular dentist [00:20:00] visit ve regular dental visits, which once again, you should be doing all the time

1. Aundrea: Every six months.

Bruce Anthony: and consulting healthcare providers about treatment options like hormone therapy. We're gonna get into all of that. But Jaya, just as first glance when I

1. Aundrea: Hmm

Bruce Anthony: menopause and oral health, that's something that really is not talked about, but like the article says, it's something that's very, very important.

We'll get into the details later, but when I just tell you, yo, you, there's something else you gotta worry about, not just the hot

1. Aundrea: mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: What else is in menopause?

1. Aundrea: Oh, it, uh, a lot. There's a lot of things that happen.

Bruce Anthony: now it's more,

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Now it's, now you, you just added an extra thing.

Bruce Anthony: I didn't, I personally didn't add it.

1. Aundrea: I mean, yeah. You didn't, yeah. But no hot flashes, mood changes, fatigue, sleep disturbances, changes in libido, and now my teeth falling out. Great.

Bruce Anthony: Well, your teeth don't [00:21:00] necessarily have to fall out. Fall out. Okay. Aside from the, the regular associated symptoms from menopause, of which you just established, you know, hot flashes and mood swings, which by the way did not know mood swings was part of menopause, is that also a part of pre-menopause?

1. Aundrea: Yes, it is. And I have funny story about that, but go ahead.

Bruce Anthony: no, no, no. Tell me the story.

40. Aundrea: So, I don't know if it's funny, but you know, I'm, I, Hey, I, I'm over, I'm about to be over 40. Okay. In, in August.

Bruce Anthony: Okay.

41. Aundrea: I, I'll be 41.

Bruce Anthony: technically you're over 40 right

1. Aundrea: Well, yeah. Okay. So I'm over 40, so obviously all my friends are, we all, we all hitting that stage. Right. So one of my friends, apparently her husband has been telling her for some time that she, I.

Has been having mood swings. She did not realize it. We all go out and boy, she's just talking to us crazy. To the point where we are just like, why are you talking to us like this? So [00:22:00] later on in the evening, we bring it back up again and we're like, and she was like, did I really do that? And then it, it, it upset her because she didn't realize that mood.

Your mood. Yes. I mean, heavy swings. Now I'm not talking about her specifically. I'm talking about in general where you're, you're up and then boy, you're down, then you're crying, then you're laughing hysterically mood swings. Yes.

Bruce Anthony: how, you ain't gotta get into specifics, but how, how was, how was she talking to you? Crazy.

1. Aundrea: Because we were just saying, hey, uh, the turns coming up on the left. Okay.

We like, Hey, why, why you got so someone's a lot of sauce on that. Okay.

Bruce Anthony: It was last sauce.

1. Aundrea: There was a lot of emphasis on that. Okay. You know, like, why, you know, relax, you know, but, uh, you know, it's, it's not, it's not anything really that's within your control, you [00:23:00] know? There's nothing you could do. You just gotta gotta ride that bad boy out for several years.

Bruce Anthony: So for my men that are listening to the show, it's just like, oh man, he talking about menopause. Oh, why? He, even folks in on that, he always talking about stuff that ain't men related. No, this is, this is a man related, because a lot of times guys don't understand what women are going through physically and, and this is what I'll say about that learn, it's

1. Aundrea: Yeah. It's not that hard.

Bruce Anthony: they can explain it, maybe they can't explain it, but there is Google,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: research information to find out why your woman is acting a particular way. It might legitimately have nothing to do with you as evident.

1. Aundrea: Uh, make sure it's, uh, written by a legitimate person and peer reviewed. Please don't just start googling stuff about menopause. And then next thing you know, you buying her a crystal 'cause you heard that this crystal could help with, uh, hot flashes. No. 'cause then you gonna get punched in the face, so like, [00:24:00] read actual medical journals and information from reputable sources, please.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Uh, not Joe Rogan,

1. Aundrea: Wow.

Bruce Anthony: rep. So,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: is diagnosed 12 months after the menstruation cycle. Uh, pre menopause is the preceding phase marked by declining of estrogen.

1. Aundrea: Hmm.

Bruce Anthony: all affects your oral health. Well, for women out there, estrogen is vital for oral tissue health. Declining estrogen can cause. Once we said before, dry mouth burning sensation in the tongue, heightened gum sensitivity, altered taste.

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: So wait a minute, what? Burning sensation in the tongue?

1. Aundrea: I mean the rest of you is burning. Why not your tongue too? I mean that's, what do you think a hot flash is? I literally, I saw a woman, she was rocking a bald Diaz video that's circulated on social media and she was outside, I think at [00:25:00] like a football high school football game or something. It was cold out and she was having a hot flash, and you just see the steam actually coming off the top of her head.

It's insane.

Bruce Anthony: hormonal changes increase the risk of gum inflammation, gingivitis, paradoxical disease. Now

1. Aundrea: Periodontal.

Bruce Anthony: that's what I said.

1. Aundrea: Is what she said. That's, I believe, a dinosaur.

I'm just kidding.

Bruce Anthony: Uh, uh, yeah. Uh, it's not a dinosaur disease.

1. Aundrea: No, it's not that.

Bruce Anthony: Reduce saliva production, which is essential for neutralizing acid, preventing decay

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: sustainable, uh, greatly. It makes you susceptible to cavities, infections, and difficulties with speaking or swallowing. Menopause [00:26:00] may also increase osteoporosis risk, weakening the jawbone, and potentially leading to tooth, tooth loss or complications with dental implants.

1. Aundrea: I just say teeth falling out? I said it.

Bruce Anthony: fellas out here, they talk about menopause ain't no big thing. We don't want to go through it. Look, first of all, you tell me that I'm gonna have dry mouth. I got dry mouth all the time. I. Anyway, and I don't even know why I brush my teeth and floss every day.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: don't know why I have dry mouth.

Okay. I have had gingivitis one time. It is not cool.

1. Aundrea: No, no.

Bruce Anthony: Um, gingivitis is not cool. I know of a man that had to get his gums pulled down because they were raising too high that was making his teeth loose.

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: what, what is that? He was like, yeah, it's a common

1. Aundrea: I,

Bruce Anthony: like, then immediately I run to the mirror and start looking at my gums and saying, are my teeth loose? it's, it's what? Look, I could deal with a lot of [00:27:00] things. I could deal with rashes all over my body. You can give me boils

1. Aundrea: no, no.

Bruce Anthony: as long as I can cover 'em up and people can't see it, you

1. Aundrea: They're painful.

Bruce Anthony: I would rather go through that than lose my teeth.

1. Aundrea: You can get no. That you can get a replacement to that tooth. Yeah. A lot. But do you? No.

Bruce Anthony: A dental, it could be two to five grand per tooth. Come on, Roscoe. We trying to film a show. Roscoe's in the background barking. It

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: grand a tooth. Unless you go to Mexico.

1. Aundrea: I mean, I mean, they got good dental work down there. I don't know what the problem is. You can get you some good dental work down in Mexico. What's the problem?

Bruce Anthony: Well, I didn't say there was a problem, just I, you gotta get to Mexico.

1. Aundrea: I don't feel like my teeth falling out is that big of a deal. I just, I just don't.

Bruce Anthony: it is a big deal to me. So

1. Aundrea: okay.

Smile Through the Change: Smart Dental Hacks for Menopause 😁🦷

Bruce Anthony: strategies for maintaining dental health during menopause. You know, good oral hygiene.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm. [00:28:00] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: fluoride. Two pills, two p, not tooth place

1. Aundrea: To play.

Bruce Anthony: floss daily and use alcohol free mouthwash. Alcohol free mouthwash. I

1. Aundrea: There is alcohol. I use alcohol free mouthwash.

Bruce Anthony: What is, what is Listerine?

1. Aundrea: Listerine definitely got alcohol in it.

Bruce Anthony: Oh, okay. Uh, you

1. Aundrea: I,

Bruce Anthony: hydrated and cri increase your fluid intake to combat dry mouth. Consider saliva substitutes. Uh, regular Dental Venice, we said that before. You gotta get your checkups, you gotta get your cleaning. It's crucial for all that stuff. And if you're going through it, go ahead talk to a healthcare provider.

You know, if you're starting to have oral symptoms that are related to, you know, menopause,

1. Aundrea: yeah,

Bruce Anthony: know, 'cause you don't want, you don't want your teeth to fall out. I don't care what you say. I don't want my eyeballs or my teeth to fall out. Those are the

1. Aundrea: I mean, yeah, I definitely don't want my eyeballs to fall out. That is a much bigger issue than my [00:29:00] teeth falling out. Um, I.

Bruce Anthony: tomato.

1. Aundrea: Oh, okay. We're going to agree to disagree on that one, but, um, I, I was wrong.

Male Menopause? The Truth About the Midlife Shift 👨‍🦳🔄

1. Aundrea: Menopause man. APAs is not made up. That is a real thing. It is a term used to describe the natural hormonal changes that occur in men as they age.

And so, yes, it's also referred to as andropause or male menopause. Yes,

Bruce Anthony: what the hell happens?

1. Aundrea: so symptoms can vary from person to person, but some common size signs include decreased libido and erectile dysfunction, loss of muscle mass and strength, increased body fat, fatigue and decreased energy levels, mood changes including depression, irritability and mood strings, difficulty concentrating in memory problems, sleep disturbances including insomnia, hot flashes and sweats, and reduced bone density.

And it's basically characterized by a gradual [00:30:00] decline in testosterone levels.

Bruce Anthony: okay. Yeah.

Let’s Talk Libido: What Really Changes for Men & Women? 👫🔥

Bruce Anthony: Well, I mean our, our testosterone levels start to decrease at the age of 30 anyway, which is crazy because as women are going through menopause, their libido spikes. Women's libido spikes in their forties and up

1. Aundrea: Um, no,

Bruce Anthony: it it, a woman's libido spikes in her forties.

1. Aundrea: uh, I don't know the, you, I keep talking. I don't know.

Bruce Anthony: dealt with a lot of 40 year olds and they got the strongest libidos

1. Aundrea: Yeah. So the dr, there's a drop in estrogen and testosterone levels during menopause. Um, that leads to a decrease in libido due to these hormonal changes.

Bruce Anthony: is, maybe I'm thinking of pre-menopause, whatever women there it, it is a joke that I think God played on us. Whereas men's [00:31:00] libidos, it's at the height, it's like 20, 25 years old. For women, it's like 30, 35 years old. As the men's libido starts to decline, the woman's libido starts to rise. And that's the reason why you have all these stories of these married men talking about, man, she was on me all day.

I was like, look, I only got one round in me who she think I am. Shamar Moore. I ain't no Blair Underwood.

1. Aundrea: You got any drama of me and I gotta have sex with your mama?

Pops from the wan, the WANs brothers. Everybody saw that? No. So yes. Men's sexual drive tends to peak in their late teens and early twenties, while women often experience their peak in their thirties. So before menopause, before menopause.

Bruce Anthony: that I was going through menopause, but there was a lot of things that just don't, uh, uh, like I am definitely not losing muscle mass

1. Aundrea: No,

Bruce Anthony: density.

1. Aundrea: no. Yeah, but that's, that comes [00:32:00] with decreased testosterone. Like that'll, that'll come with that.

Bruce Anthony: testosterone is decreasing just because it just naturally decreases. I

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: have a relatively high level testosterone, but that just be, that just could be because I work out all the time. 'cause that helps boost testosterone. But we,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: to menopause.

Battle of the Sexes: Who’s REALLY Superior? 🤼‍♂️👑

Bruce Anthony: Look fellas out here. You think life is easy for a woman? It seems like it's the worst. I, what I mean by this is like, I'm so glad, I still think women are the superior of gender. go by male, female, gender, I still feel like women are the apex because they're smarter. They're, they're more emotionally intelligent. They're more caring. They have a higher pain threshold. The only thing that we have over them is physical strength. That's it. It was, even, I learned this women weren't allowed to be astronauts, uh, and nasa. Right.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: But the women still wanted to [00:33:00] go through the same tests that the men were going through, and, and they go through physical tests, they go through mental tests, emotional tests, all this type of stuff.

1. Aundrea: Right?

Bruce Anthony: They found out that women scored higher on everything except for physical. 'cause men are just physically

1. Aundrea: Yes. Yes.

Bruce Anthony: scored higher on everything else. So they are the more evolved, more advanced version of the human species. Okay. They just are

1. Aundrea: I don't know. I feel like everybody has. The capacity. I'm not, I, I'm a speak very generally. Obviously there are people with certain, um, uh, you know, psychological disorders that are not capable of like empathy and emotional intelligence. Right. But like, in general, I think most people are capable of that is what does society tell us is important

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, that's, well, that's the

1. Aundrea: and, and what FoST what is being [00:34:00] fostered in that gender or in that sex that's not being encouraged in the other.

Bruce Anthony: yeah. No,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: that's the reason why they're more evolved.

1. Aundrea: Yeah. I mean, I don't disagree as a woman, I don't disagree.

Bruce Anthony: I mean, if you keep teaching kids at, at from birth, how to say their ABCs one, two, threes, right? Do they one, two, threes and you have another group of kids that they don't even get that information until they're 20. Those kids that are getting that from when they're babies.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Each generation is gonna build upon that and be more evolved.

We've got thousands of years where women have been given the right

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: emotional, address those emotions, learn how to deal with those emotions. And men have not just 'cause we getting started now don't mean that we gonna catch up.

1. Aundrea: And I, and I,

Bruce Anthony: about intelligence.

1. Aundrea: and I always find that strange by the way, because for most of these things, men were the thought leaders [00:35:00] of, of psychology, right? Of their, of like, right. But I mean, it's just like y'all, y'all came up with the, why aren't you investing more in the thing you came up with?

Bruce Anthony: and 'cause it ain't manly. And, and, and when I say men are physically stronger, I mean simply, physically stronger. They cannot. the physical pain that women can

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: you, if men had to go through, well, I guess there is menopause, but it is not widely known. Right?

And, and not every guy has to go through it. But if men had to go through that woo,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: not talking about the pain.

1. Aundrea: I, and, and it, and I, I sent you a, I sent you a video where somebody was talking about what if you had like the male version of menopause, like most men couldn't go through it. Um, [00:36:00] but yeah, I mean, I don't know. So actually the research that comes back is that women actually

Pain Olympics: Who Handles Hurt Like a Champ? 🏅😬

1. Aundrea: don't have a higher pain tolerance than men.

Bruce Anthony: how, how does what, what research is that?

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Studies consistently show that women tend to report higher pain intensity and have lower pain thresholds compared to men, women, women like more, are more likely to report pain sooner when pain stimulus is applied and tolerate less pressure or intensity before reporting pain. So what, and, and that's, that's from reports.

So like, there's really no way to scientifically determine if you have a higher pain threshold aside from like sitting them down applying a painful stimulus. And when do they report feeling the sensation of pain? I feel like men would tend to hold [00:37:00] out longer before reporting pain.

Bruce Anthony: because it toxic masculinity, but that doesn't mean that they have a higher threshold of pain. Case in point, you've seen the videos where they have that machine that mimics menstrual cramps.

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: Men double over a three and women would be like, this ain't nothing but a light Tuesday.

1. Aundrea: Right, but you gotta understand that has a light Tuesday, once a month, every month. And most of these women that are in these videos are in their twenties. So maybe it's been, they've been going through it for about 10 years now. So if you experience something 12 times a year for the last 10 years, and another person has never experienced it,

Bruce Anthony: Oh,

1. Aundrea: yes.

Bruce Anthony: Nah, sitting up here trying to big up women. And you. You come, you a

1. Aundrea: Oh, I'm not, I'm not saying.

Bruce Anthony: now.

1. Aundrea: No, that's, we all know that's ridiculous. Uh, but I'm just, I'm just saying [00:38:00] no, we don't have a higher pain tolerance or threshold or any of that. It's just we have, we are more likely to experience chronic pain and, and because of that, we are able to handle pain because we get used to it, not because it's not there.

Bruce Anthony: holes. In my theory, I'm gonna stand by my theory that women are the more advanced, more evolved, superior version of the human species. And going through this menopause is just another prime example that you could lose your teeth.

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Just being a woman. Yeah. Yep.

Bruce Anthony: men will lose their teeth 'cause they did something stupid thinking that they go out there and could play softball. The sun is in their eye, softball hit 'em in their mouth, they lose a tooth.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: been out there trying to play anyway. You was 55 years old trying to live

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: from 40 years ago.

1. Aundrea: You don't need.

Bruce Anthony: our two teeth

1. Aundrea: Yeah, yeah,

Bruce Anthony: dumb stuff. Y'all lose it. Just being in existence,

1. Aundrea: yeah,[00:39:00]

Bruce Anthony: I think, I swear, it's God's cruel joke on women. Y'all are the, y'all are the bringers of life, but also the life is sucked outta you every day.

1. Aundrea: yeah. That's, that's part of it, right? Like you gotta think of that. Like, I'll probably go get some hate for this, but if you think about it in like in general. A baby is sort of a parasitic organism. It is literally sucking the life out of you.

Okay? That's why you had to take, uh, more vitamins and eat more stuff because this baby is feeding off of you. Like, I mean, that's, that's what happens. All right? And then they're here, and then they aid you because they be doing dumb stuff like getting hit in the face baseball and knock their teeth out.

And then that's, that's a bill for me. That's a bill now. Thank you. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: 'em. I love the kids. Love

1. Aundrea: I love kids, love kids.

Bruce Anthony: Alright, [00:40:00] that's enough. Talking about menopause. Let's talk about when your friends just be asking for too much and we gonna get into that next.

Bruce Anthony: Alright Jay, it is thundering over where you

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: lose power. So we gonna finish up this last segment the best we can, and it's another Reddit post and it's called What should I Do? This is what the poster writes. My, my longtime friend Jennifer, is a single mom of three kids, ages five, eight, and 10.

She was married, but divorced her husband about three years ago, and the husband isn't very involved or helpful, and the kids actually preferred not to see him. For the past five years, I've helped Jennifer raise her kids as she works different jobs to help support her kids.

The Friend Zone Trap: When Helping Becomes a Burden 🧑‍🤝‍🧑😓

Bruce Anthony: In addition to paying 30% of her rent, often provide groceries, groceries, and help with taking the kids to and from school. [00:41:00] Yes, I know it's above and beyond, but I care about the kids and I see that Jennifer is truly struggling. Last Friday, her oldest was involved in the accident at school during their PE class. From what I was told, they were playing flag football and one of the bigger kids legit tackled her as a joke. However, this actually caused a severe injury where not only, where only was her hip dislocated, but required immediate surgery to fix and tear. tear in the tendon.

1. Aundrea: Hmm.

Bruce Anthony: I spent the last five days at the hospital with Jennifer and her kids, bringing them food, sitting in with doctors and taking notes. Just being a support system.

However, I've spent a lot of my own money during this time, and now Jennifer is asking me lot of help, is asking me to

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: didn't write well, but that's okay. With her daughter being released from the hospital soon. Jennifer has to make up all the money she lost by not going to work and somehow pay for a lawyer to sue the school and cover [00:42:00] all those hospital expenses.

She asked me to pay her entire rent for the month of May. In addition to all that I've already spent and says it's only for this month. This is a huge ask of me and I would and would essentially take up my whole paycheck. She begs me for this kind of help. I feel so bad for her since she's so emotional and stressed out from this whole ordeal, but I feel like she's also being unfair by asking me to do so much. On a personal note, she hasn't said thank you once to anything that I've done. Again, I've let it slide due to the amount of information she's getting. People, people that are te talking to her. Family that are consistently calling her for updates, but it does anger me slightly that she hasn't shown any gratitude and is now asking me for even more. Again, I don't mean to make this about myself, but I've gotta, but I've torn on if I should make this huge sacrifice and help Jennifer, or if I feel like she's asking for too much now, what [00:43:00] should I or she do,

1. Aundrea: Mm mm Um, so, so writer, um, Jennifer can always ask, okay. I, I, I believe in shooting your shot. Okay.

Bruce Anthony: That's a hell of a shot to shoot.

1. Aundrea: But that don't mean she gonna sink it. Okay? If, if, if it's, if it your letting, it's your whole paycheck. It's your whole paycheck, fam. That's a lot.

When Good Deeds Go Bad: The Hidden Cost of Always Helping 🤦‍♂️💸

Bruce Anthony: She already paying 30% on

1. Aundrea: Yeah, it, it is. You gotta tell her you ain't got it, because if you're agonizing about this, it means you don't have it.

If it was an ask that she made and you got it, you wouldn't write a Reddit post about it. If you're, it is, you said it was essentially take up your whole paycheck and, and you're asking [00:44:00] me to do so much and it's too much, and is this, it is such a huge sacrifice. That's, these are all key indicators to me that you don't have it like that.

And she's assuming that you do because of all that you do for her and that you don't ask for nothing in return, including paying 30% of her rent, groceries, picking the kids up, going, being at the hospital, all this stuff. She's assuming that you got it. This is gonna be a turning point if this could be a turning point in your friendship.

When you tell her, I would, you know, I would do anything for you. I don't have that. I don't have your whole, I don't have the whole month. I could do what I've been doing. And you could see if you could find somebody or a couple people to help you come up with that other 70%. Or you can talk to your leasing office, let them know what the situation going on and see if they can make an exception or give you an extension, but I don't [00:45:00] have it.

And then watch her response. Because a lot of people keep you in their life for what you do for them and not for you. And so if she starts to make you feel like you're doing something wrong by protecting your own finances and your own household, then you know where you stand with that person. But if she says, Fran, I understand.

I just, I thought I'd ask 'cause I just. You always been here, so I thought I would ask, but I completely understand. Then you know that then you might even be more inclined to help her out if she says, I completely understand. Thank you so much for all you've been doing. I know I haven't really gotten a chance because everything's been such a whirlwind, I haven't gotten a chance to say that, you know, if that's the term the conversation takes, you might be more willing to say, okay, maybe I can kick in 50%.

Right? But all of [00:46:00] the language in here is telling me you ain't got that and you need to tell her you don't have it. And it's, it's, it's hard. I, I know it's hard. This is your friend. You're being your longtime friend and you see she's struggling, but you don't wanna put yourself in a position where you're struggling, but you can't feel from an empty cup.

And it just is what it is.

Bruce Anthony: I, I, I, I like your sympathetic approach to this. You know,

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: I, I I love the empathy and the sympathy that you are showing,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: uh, the poster. And Jennifer,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I, on the other hand,

1. Aundrea: Oh boy.

Bruce Anthony: am not gonna be like that

1. Aundrea: Okay. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: me to pay your whole damn rent for it. You out your mind. That's a hell of an ask. And I know you say you shoot your shot.

No. There's just some things that you just don't ask for. And now [00:47:00] maybe it's something wrong with me. 'cause I'm genuinely the person that doesn't ask for help when I need it. And that's a problem in and of itself.

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: is asking for way too much fact of the matter is why wouldn't she taking her ass to work? Her kid need to have surgery. The kid's in the hospital, I get it. But if your home girl is sitting up there

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: helping out.

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: Take your ass to work while your home girl is there. I can go pick up a couple hours on my shift or something like that. Go start a GoFundMe. Start a OnlyFans. Okay. Do something. Do something.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: me for your whole rent. The audacity. If, if, if the person had phrased it a little differently and be like, Hey look, you know, things is a little tight. I got all this stuff going on. Can you, is there any way that you might be able to gimme a little extra more on the rent than you normally would?

If you can't, that's cool. I understand, but a little bit more not. Can you take care of the whole month? 'cause this is the one point that you [00:48:00] didn't bring up that was specified by the poster. She said her friend said it would only be for this month. don't believe that because she hired a lawyer

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: to sue the school.

First of all, I. It's a, it's a, uh, it's a case where it's like a car accident case. What do they call those?

1. Aundrea: A car accident,

Bruce Anthony: No, no, no. Where you got the, the malpractice, not malpractice lawsuits, but it's like a,

1. Aundrea: uh, civil liability,

Bruce Anthony: personal injury,

1. Aundrea: personal injury, yes.

Bruce Anthony: They take that, they don't take no money upfront. They take it, they cut at the end

1. Aundrea: Right, right,

Bruce Anthony: lawyer fees are you paying? That's first and foremost. First and foremost. Uh, no, that's second 'cause I already pointed out. How the hell is she going to ask for the whole month rent? So that's second.

1. Aundrea: right.

Bruce Anthony: third. 'cause the second thing that I pointed out was that she could have been taking her ass to work when a friend was there. Uh, she might as well just move in with a [00:49:00] friend. paying 30% on the rent anyway. How much, how much, how much of a friend do you gotta be you're hurting yourself in the process?

1. Aundrea: That, that was my point. Like you have to, you cannot overextend yourself for other people regardless of their situation. You can't put yourself in a bad situation to help them out of a bad situation.

Bruce Anthony: I am not even talking about that. I'm talking about is it, when is it a time where you be selfish for yourself and say, Hey, look, a friend, I love you to death, but you are costing me money that I could be doing other things with. I could be living my life. You're hindering me living my life. Because at no point did she say that.

Her friend was like, yeah, once I get on my fee with these other jobs, you won't even have to pay me a 30%. No. This is a built, built-in monthly [00:50:00] expense to for your friend. And look, I'm all for helping people. I'm all for it. But for her not to even say thank you, that means that feels like this help is just part of the friendship.

1. Aundrea: That's why I said to clock her response to saying

Setting Boundaries: Learning to Say No Without Guilt 🚫🛡️

1. Aundrea: No. And it, and it, and it it to me. It doesn't it? It says, in addition to paying 30% of her rent, I also provide groceries. Yes. I know it's above and beyond, but I care about the kids and I see Jennifer is truly struggling, so it doesn't sound like this is something Jennifer is asking for.

It sounds like it's some something that the author is offering,

Bruce Anthony: so you

1. Aundrea: but

Bruce Anthony: the author is, has has been offering this that gave Jen, that gave Jennifer the idea like, can you just take care of all the rent since you're doing

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Yeah, that it makes me think that Jennifer thinks she's got it like that. You need to let her know that for an to pay her [00:51:00] entire month of rent, I don't have that.

Bruce Anthony: what she said is just take up her whole paycheck.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, I, that means I don't have it because I have my own bills and expenses and things I have, I can't spend my entire paycheck and I don't get another one for two weeks.

Like I can't go two weeks broke. So that you can have your rent paid. I, I don't have it. And then clock her response.

Bruce Anthony: but my thing was she had family calling to ask about the kid. Family need to be like, Hey, go take a collection plate at the local church

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: some of these bills.

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: I, I

1. Aundrea: I think it's, yes. I'm not saying that it wasn't, the fact that she put entire rent all in caps, a huge ask. Again, all in caps, she also feels the same way. You do. I also feel the same way. You do, but I'm trying to look at it from Jennifer's perspective. You already giving me [00:52:00] 30% of my rent every month.

Can you cover the whole thing? Like

Bruce Anthony: me 30%? Can you

1. Aundrea: you

Bruce Anthony: the whole seven? Can

1. Aundrea: you just, for this one month, like, you know, so I could see her train of thought. You already contributing to my rent. Already already. You already probably got my password to the rent portal and all that stuff.

Bruce Anthony: I don't, I think she might just be, zing her a little bit of money or

1. Aundrea: Maybe. I dunno.

Bruce Anthony: hold on. Another thing that bothers me about Jennifer, the reason why this ask, you know, I am really, I'm really like, I look at people and I'm like, you made decisions to get to this point.

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: decisions that you made before you were at this point,

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Rent is due every month

1. Aundrea: Yes,

Bruce Anthony: and

1. Aundrea: yes.

Bruce Anthony: Okay. I don't know. Too many times it's been an exception, even when it, the first falls on a holiday, rent is

1. Aundrea: Rent is due. Yes.

Bruce Anthony: always due.

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: So you going through this whole process [00:53:00] knowing that rent is due and you not doing anything to help to try and cut that problem off before you get to it, right?

Like

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: there are steps that people get to. When people ask me for help, I'm always like, well, how'd you get to this point?

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Did you do this, this, this, this, and this?

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Well, I mean, it sounds to me like you living dumb. Why should I have to pay for your dumb actions?

1. Aundrea: Right. And also, um, you can't pay your rent and you only miss five days of work.

Bruce Anthony: What?

1. Aundrea: I don't, I'm con I was confused by that. It was only five days. It was one business week

Bruce Anthony: It like

1. Aundrea: and you can't cover none of the rent.

Bruce Anthony: rent. None of the rent. That's what I'm saying. That's the reason why I was like, you're being real empathetic and you're being real sympathetic to this whole situation. And I look at, when [00:54:00] I look at situations and I'm like, how did you get here?

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: dumb ass decisions did you make to get to this point? And why did you let it wait to get to this point

1. Aundrea: right.

Bruce Anthony: asking me for help? Because if you had asked me for help five days ago, I would've been like, what are you doing to, uh, make sure that we can cut this off at the path?

1. Aundrea: Right,

Bruce Anthony: This problem off of the path. Oh, well I'm, I haven't been able to go to work.

Well, I'm here. You can leave. There's no reason for both of us to be here.

1. Aundrea: right,

Bruce Anthony: You can go.

1. Aundrea: right.

Bruce Anthony: Well, I don't wanna leave. Well then when the rent is due, on you. Because I'm giving you options here

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: that when people come to me with these type of problems, I'm like, look,

1. Aundrea: Like I

Bruce Anthony: I could be Spock sometimes and be real logical and and devoid of, of certain emotions, but when it comes to putting yourself in dumb situations, that's other people.

See, if this was, [00:55:00] yo, you messed up a situation. You live by yourself. Rent is due. You got to figure it out.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: well, I mean, that's you,

1. Aundrea: And.

Bruce Anthony: you affecting me and your kids. 'cause your dumb decisions.

1. Aundrea: And I just am not buying the whole some pay for the lawyer, first of all to sue school there. The statute of limitations for that. You don't have to do that right now. Like if you ain't got the money for the lawyer, you ain't got to do that right now. You got at least a year, two years. Right. And then as far as the hospital expenses, which is real 'cause this is America, this is a wom, a single mom with three young children who clearly, she works different jobs to help support kids.

So there, I don't see any reason why these kids aren't on Medicaid. So

Bruce Anthony: She might be in a state where they make it real tough to get on Medicaid.

1. Aundrea: no single mom, three kids, [00:56:00] and she's got a bunch of different jobs that lets me know. She probably does not have health insurance at these jobs. There's no reason these kids aren't on Medicaid. I.

Bruce Anthony: Oh, well,

1. Aundrea: So what hospital? Expensive. Yes. And not only that, you can always apply for, uh, a lot of hospitals have reserves that they keep for charity, which is, you know, and they'll cover the cost or a majority of the cost for the hospital fees.

So again, it's like, I, I see your point too of like, okay, well what have you looked into as far as getting these hospital and missing five days? Shouldn't mean you can't pay none of your rent for that month

Bruce Anthony: The only, the only thing I could think of, she work at a restaurant and it was gonna be some mega week where she was gonna make her whole rent check. And if that's how she living in the first place,

1. Aundrea: with three kids. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: in and of itself. Look, I, I'm all for helping. This is gonna come off as me just being like a, a hard [00:57:00] ass.

I'm all for helping people. I'm not knocking her friend for having that big heart and, and helping her friend out,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I see, know this is just words on the paper I see. Will you help me out all the time anyway, what's the big deal covering this? And I

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: see a slippery soap where she says it's just one month. But some of these situations that's going on is not going to end immediately. Right now,

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: the kid won't be in the hospital anymore, but it's not like the kid had had to repair a tendon and had a dislocated hip.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: kid is not gonna be able to move around really well for a while.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: she probably gonna have to be home, which means she probably ain't gonna be able to go to work, right? If, if she's paying lawyer fees, that's not gonna end tomorrow.

1. Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: These type of personal injury type things, lawsuits take a minute,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: take a long

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: so I see, I foresee, I look at how problems are presented to

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: and what can potentially be more problematic [00:58:00] from, from this one initial problem.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, that, that's why, that's why I think the author should say no. Even if she does have it, say no. Just because you need to see what her response is gonna be, what Jennifer's response is gonna be to you telling her, no, I can't do that.

Bruce Anthony: Hmm. Look, she need to do the opposite of what Flory said. Flory said. All you gotta do is say yes. you gotta do is say no.

1. Aundrea: Hell no,

Last Call: Unfiltered Final Thoughts & Farewell 🍻👋

Bruce Anthony: On that note, Jay, what do you wanna tell the people out here?

1. Aundrea: man. Don't let these people use you. Sometimes. Tell people no, just so you can see their response and know where you stand with them.

Bruce Anthony: I

1. Aundrea: Don't let these people use you.

Bruce Anthony: I use no all the time. the reason why people don't ask me for too much anymore. On that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for watching, and until next time, as always, I'll [00:59:00] holler.

Bruce Anthony: Hold on. Lemme make sure I'm in the middle of the screen. Shit, hold on. That's not what I wanted to do. Hold on. Shit. All right. There we go. Yeah, I'm in the middle. Alright. You can hear me and everything good, right? Alright, uh, did you get any chance to run, to go through the rundown?

1. Aundrea: Yeah, we talking about menopause. Should be talking about menopause,

Bruce Anthony: We can, we could throw a little bit of that in there. In there too.

1. Aundrea: and then I got the Reddit post, so yeah. Okay.

Bruce Anthony: Alright, so let's try to be done. I, I have to, I don't have to be done, but I'm pushing it close. 5 45, so it's 4 28 right now. Let's go 5 45. Let's try to have the segments be no more than 20 minutes.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: And that last one, um, if we, if we go long, I'm gonna cut off one of the Reddits. I [01:00:00] want to talk about the, the, um, where the friend is asking for too much, but I also wanna talk about what was the other one?

Shit,

 about talking to a family, about their marriage.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: If we run long and it's over an hour, I'm going to cut and then we could talk a quick 10 minutes. I do want to get into the wedding thing and I'll put that on the YouTube exclusive.

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: All right, you ready?

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: How am I gonna start this shit? How I'm gonna start it? Shit. Okay, I got it.

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: Welcome, first of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony here to lead the I Here to lead the something. You get to lead something.

1. Aundrea: Because, no, I'm just saying we don't have a higher pain tolerance, and I don't, no, no, no, no. Women do not have a higher pain tolerance, and if you start [01:01:00] proposing that, that is the case, we already get treated like dog shit in healthcare anyway, and so if people think that we can tolerate more pain, they already think that of black people,

Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

1. Aundrea: that our skin is thicker and we can tolerate.

Yes, it's thunderstorm all last week. All this week

Bruce Anthony: internet is starting to ride out. Let's, let's continue with

1. Aundrea: our All right.

Bruce Anthony: shit getting shaky.

1. Aundrea: All right.

1. Aundrea: everybody say, no, you're already helping too much. You need to say no for yourself. You need to say no and start reducing contact with her. Everybody is like, no, say no. Say no, even if you have it, say no.

Bruce Anthony: All right. It's 5 29 right

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: this out to 10 minutes and then I gotta get off 'cause then I gotta go to work. right, you ready?

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Woo. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, [01:02:00] comment, and share our podcast. Wherever you're listening or watching it to it, pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock, we'll enjoy it also.

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Audi 5,000 Peace.