Special Holiday Episode

Bruce Anthony: [00:00:00] How do you know if you're having a midlife crisis or you're just leveling up in your forties? Why are so many people making wild decisions and what does positive aging really mean? We gonna get into it. Let's get it.

Bruce Anthony: Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony. Here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation or follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast at YouTube exclusive content rate review like.

Comment, share. Share with your friends. Share with your family. Hell even share with your enemies. On today's episode, we're breaking down the myth of the midlife crisis. Are you spiraling or leveling up in your forties? Plus, I'm gonna give you guys a wild sneak [00:01:00] peek into our after hours uncensored show, and then we're diving into a juicy Reddit relationship drama.

But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.

Bruce Anthony: So, guys, this is a holiday weekend and my sister is busy and I'm gonna take a little vacation, but that does not mean that I'm not going to give you guys content. This show is a compilation of two of our YouTube exclusive shows and a sneak peek into one of our, one of our after hours uncensored shows. I want to let all the parents know.

Parental discretion is advised. We will also not be releasing a show this Tuesday, but we will be back next Friday. We'll be back in just one week, but if you want some more original content from us, we will be releasing a YouTube exclusive on our YouTube page [00:02:00] on Tuesday. That would replace the normal audio podcast or video podcast show.

But without further ado, here's the very first YouTube exclusive. Not the very first YouTube exclusive that we ever did, but the very first YouTube exclusive that we're gonna be featuring in this show, and it's talking about midlife crisis and positive aging. Let's get into it.

Jay, this YouTube exclusive and this topic, and the reason why I'm making a YouTube exclusive topic and not on the podcast is because, Hmm, I'm not gonna throw people under the bus, but I kind am.

I, I don't know why people talk to me. It it, it's going to become content. It's going to become content.

Okay. I'm going to be 45 in a few months. You are gonna be 41 this summer.

We, our friend group, our peers are typically our age, right? And this is when they say that you get that midlife crisis going,

1. Aundrea: I definitely did.

Bruce Anthony: uh uh.

1. Aundrea: I am in school.

Bruce Anthony: Well, okay, so no, you didn't.

Crisis or Evolution? Why Your 40s Don’t Have to Suck 🌪️🧬

Bruce Anthony: What you are doing is evolving [00:03:00] and there's a difference between a crisis and evolving.

As we get older, we naturally evolve our positions and things that we view that we were younger is going to change and evolve.

So

some things change and evolve. Some things are a legitimate crisis, and I have a few friends that are coming to me. This is the first time I've actually seen a female crisis with the male crisis.

You typically see it. They start acting younger. They start getting earrings, dangling earrings. They,

1. Aundrea: Okay. This feels very pointed.

Bruce Anthony: no, I, I actually am not going through a crisis because there is never any point that in my life where I felt like I missed out on something.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Yeah. So,

Bruce Anthony: like, I'm not out here trying to date young women. Like I specifically tell the young women, you too young for me. I'm not messing with you. I you don't got nothing for me.

You know, I'm not buying cars or anything like that, you know, so, no, I'm not going through a crisis. I, I actually am doing things [00:04:00] that I know that I want to do, I've always wanted to do because I know this is morbid, that my time here is more time behind me than there is ahead of me.

1. Aundrea: winding down.

Bruce Anthony: We wind, we head into the upper room.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: And, but that's part of it, right? Getting this people hit this midlife crisis because in the forties, 'cause they're like, you're either at the halfway point or you're past the halfway point, right? And so what is the difference between midlife crisis? And what's naturally evolving, and I'm going to get into the different aspects of what is midlife crisis and what's positive aging.

That's a term positive aging.

But have you experienced anything around your peer group, people that are around your age that, that you think is a crisis but might not be a crisis?

1. Aundrea: I, I literally, I've been calling my decision to make this career pivot and go back to school. I've been telling people this is my midlife crisis, that I [00:05:00] was dissatisfied with my life and I'm at the midpoint and I'm like, something's gotta change. But, and you know, black women, we go and get a degree or a

LLC, And so I went and I got, um, getting a degree. So that's. I have been calling this my midlife crisis, but I would like to think of this as positive aging.

Bruce Anthony: It's absolutely positive aging, so, so what are some of the differences that are midlife crisis and positive? Positive aging?

Anxiety vs. Ambition: Are You Drowning or Leveling Up? 🌊💡

Bruce Anthony: So let's go with the emotional state. 'cause that's typically where it goes through, that's typically where it starts, right?

Aspects of a midlife crisis in an emotional state is high anxiety, regret, dissatisfaction, and sleeplessness.

If you have any of those things, you might be going through a midlife crisis, but, uh. An example of positive aging is optimism, gratitude and acceptance.

So the reason why I say you going off and doing a career pivot, you're more optimistic about your [00:06:00] future

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Yes. You

Bruce Anthony: and you're accepting that this is my future. It,

you might have had anxiety, but it wasn't anxiety of getting older.

It was anxiety of, am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: So you switched, but the switch isn't being impulsive and doing something detrimental to your wellbeing.

1. Aundrea: okay.

Bruce Anthony: doing. It's doing something that's positive.

1. Aundrea: positive, right? So I was feeling that anxiety, that dissatisfaction, and so I did something to turn it into gratitude and I've become accepting and optimistic about getting older.

Bruce Anthony: Which leads us into the behavioral patterns of somebody who's going through a midlife crisis or somebody who's doing positive aging.

Tinder at 45? Risky Moves vs. Purposeful Hustles 💘⚠️💼

Bruce Anthony: A behavioral pattern of somebody that's going through midlife crisis is impulsivity,

risky spending, or substance abuse.

Now, you know, lie weed, but you, we don't even really

1. Aundrea: I don't, I don't abuse it.

Bruce Anthony: Right. You [00:07:00] don't abuse

1. Aundrea: don't abuse it.

Bruce Anthony: A behavioral pattern of somebody who's doing positive aging is purposeful activities,

writing books, achieving goals, like going back to school.

1. Aundrea: Well, hey.

Bruce Anthony: see, see, so, so when you put this into the context, so a lot of my friends are starting to do impulsive things. Do you know I have more 40-year-old friends now?

I am sorry, but I gotta say it. I've got four more 40-year-old friends, mid forties, that have gotten herpes from their sexual partners than I ever experienced of people in their twenties. Now, herpes is a thing, is more prevalent

Than

people realize, but the reason why they got them. One, their partners were cheating on them, but their partners were people that they should not have been with at their big age.

It was people that you could see on paper [00:08:00] wasn't the right situation

1. Aundrea: This is a risky choice.

Bruce Anthony: But because of their age and their impulsivity, they were making risky choices that put them in that situation. Just like men being like, I'm gonna get me a young girl. Nah, bro, you 45,

don't try to mess with no 20-year-old popping Viagra and trying to maintain

1. Aundrea: shoes with the rubber soles so

You can go dancing.

Bruce Anthony: you going to mess around and give yourself a heart attack messing with these young ass women? And guess what? You ain't gonna be able to, well, some men are really immature, so I guess they can have conversations with 26-year-old women,

but I can't,

like I can't. So that's not risky behavior that I'm going to do.

So yes, there's a difference between behavior patterns, between midlife crisis and positive aging. So you are positively aging.

1. Aundrea: Nice. Nice.

Bruce Anthony: Another one is focusing or dwelling on past mistakes or comparing oneself, unfavorably to others. [00:09:00] positive aging, which is embracing new challenges and personal growth.

1. Aundrea: I'm positively aging, y'all. That is really nice. I mean, seriously, because this entire time I've literally been calling this my midlife crisis

Bruce Anthony: no, there's a difference. Be I, I, you know, crisis. Some people are actually going through a crisis,

but there should be another term called midlife awakening,

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: right? That would, that would be equal to, or that would transition to positive aging

because all this is, I've, I talked about, I probably, I think I came up with this term previously.

Didn't I come with this term previously?

1. Aundrea: Midlife awakening.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, something like that. Midlife. A midlife evolution. I came with something like this on a previous podcast. I said something like this because I said, I've been going through it throughout my forties. Like people are like, you're going through a crisis. It's like, why am I going through a crisis?

Because your mentality is changing. I was like, I feel like my mentality is changing for the better.

1. Aundrea: I feel like I've [00:10:00] grown up.

I feel Like I've grown up

Bruce Anthony: I don't wanna do kid stuff no more.

Well, that's not true. I still wanna play

1. Aundrea: I still absolutely want to do kid things, uh, because millennials, we, we lost our childhood a

little bit. Uh, 'cause the world is so crazy,

but like. I, I feel like I've grown up in that I'm taking more accountability for my own life in that realize like, Hey, I'm on the other side of a hill. I only got so much time left in front of me. What am I gonna do with it to make sure that on my final days I feel content with the life that I've led?

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

1. Aundrea: So that's, I think that's where the awakening kind of comes up. Like, it's like, okay, you start thinking about your mortality and you're just like, would I be content with the life that I've led so far?

And if the answer is [00:11:00] no, then you're like, okay, let's make some changes.

Bruce Anthony: Right. If you, if you about to go to that upper room and your life flashes, be before your eyes and you like, uh, that's all I did.

Let's make some changes.

So another example of midlife crisis versus positive aging is physical engagement decline due to stress or neglect.

1. Aundrea: Mm.

Bruce Anthony: So you just, you know, you not, you not doing anything.

You laying up and you chilling and you ain't doing nothing. Versus positive aging, which is an active lifestyle. IE, you know, ex exercising or pursuing hobbies. So some people will get into their forties and they'll just be like, all right, I'm good.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I got, a few people that are just like.

Whatever. And me mentally, I can't wait to get there to where I don't have to work out anymore. But it's not gonna be until like seven 60 around late sixties, early seventies. I'm not gonna care no more after that. I'm gonna eat all the Popeye's chicken, I want

eat the chicken sandwich every day. 'cause

1. Aundrea: think [00:12:00] so? But once you get to that age, you be like, no, I'm trying to stay here for a little bit longer.

Bruce Anthony: well, okay, maybe. Right. Okay.

1. Aundrea: I don't see a world in which you specifically are not active.

Bruce Anthony: Not, well, not not active, right? I'm always gonna do something because my anxiety dictates that I have to do something or else I'm gonna go crazy.

But, but to work out this hard, to work out six days a week and watch my dad like that, eventually I'm gonna get to a age where I like, I'm good.

Like I don't have to do this anymore,

1. Aundrea: But

now is not that time.

Bruce Anthony: Now's not the time, but there are some people who absolutely are. And then I see other people who are absolutely becoming obsessed,

which isn't necessarily a good thing in and of itself, being obsessed about it, but have become super active because once again, when you get to this age, it's like, I'm on the other side.

I wanna be, I wanna be here a little bit longer.

Friendship in Your 40s: Lonely or Lit? 🌵🎉👯

Bruce Anthony: Uh, social connections. All right. Withdrawing from relationships verse building meaningful relation [00:13:00] relationships when midlife crisis hits that Austin stems from an existential concerns or society pressures leading to impulsive behavior and dissatisfaction.

Positive aging focuses on embracing life changes with purpose. Adaptability optimism. Both paths reflect different ways of navigating the challenges of middle age and beyond. Uh, no goodness and beyond.

I messed that up, but, okay. So this might be a situation where I'm going through a crisis 'cause I have withdrawn from relationships.

1. Aundrea: number of people that I see that in their forties and up that ain't got no friends, boy oh boy, you going to wish you had them friends when you're retired and you don't have nothing to do with your day.

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

1. Aundrea: You gonna wish you had people to talk to, you gonna wish you had built meaningful [00:14:00] relationships.

And the, and the crazy thing is, and I love that this I'm, every time you do a versus I'm on the positive aging side. I've become, at this age more invested in strengthening my relationships with people in. Creating meaningful interactions with people. Like I've become more invested in doing that, um, because I know how important, especially as we get older, building community is

Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

1. Aundrea: and having good people around you because, I mean, look, we one by one, we gonna start, as we get older and have those conversations.

You hear about so and so she passed on. You hear about so and so. He's, he's gone now like. You are going to need people. I, I hate when I see in, in high school, um, I volunteered at a, at a, um, I don't [00:15:00] like old folks home. What's it? A retirement community.

Um, and just the amount of people just with nobody to visit them.

Bruce Anthony: Mm.

Well, maybe they was nasty. Maybe they was nasty.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, but I mean, again, that's it. That's also something,

right? It's like you didn't step outside of yourself, take your ego outta whatever you got going on and build meaningful relationships and community with people. You couldn't get outta your own way to do that, and now you're at the the winter of your life and you're alone.

That's sad. It's really sad.

Bruce Anthony: Well, I think that, uh, when I first read this about relationships, I was like, whoa, I'm in a midlife crisis. 'cause I've been killing a lot of relationships, but

1. Aundrea: I.

don't think that's true.

Bruce Anthony: Well, no, I have, I've been cutting relationships with people that I'm like, I don't, this doesn't benefit

1. Aundrea: [00:16:00] Exactly.

Bruce Anthony: but I, but if you, if it's something meaningful, then I, and I gravitate towards that.

So for all those people out there that in their forties, you need to look at this list. And determine are you going through a crisis or positive aging? Because you could be like my sister and think you're going through a crisis and be positive aging, and you could also think that you're positively aging and you could be going through a crisis.

You need to examine which one, and then if you're going through a crisis, get some help. It's, it's some people out there that can help you through your tough times.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Aging Like Beyoncé: Why 40+ is the New Upgrade 👑🍷🚀

Bruce Anthony: Getting older doesn't mean that we have to get worse. I actually think it's getting better. Like wine aging, like fine wine, that's how we gonna do it

The Reddit Post That Sparked a Firestorm 🔥📱

Bruce Anthony: For our next YouTube exclusive, we're gonna be talking about a crazy Reddit story about a marriage that is gone awry. Let's get to it.

Okay. Jay went on my favorite social [00:17:00] media, read it and found another, am I overreacting? The title of it is Wife Lies Makes No Money. So let me read it to the ladies, gentlemen. Uh, lemme read it to you guys and then I'm gonna get your responses from it. So this is what they, this is what the person wrote in their post for Reddit.

From Dream Job to Financial Nightmare: Her Story 💼💔💰

Bruce Anthony: I'm lost at the moment, folks, some background. My wife and I have been together for seven years. She's currently unemployed. When we first started dating, she got a new job, quotation mo, quotation marks, and all of her previous have been six figures at the time. I was younger by a few years and just getting into my career.

Since that job, she hasn't held a new job more than two years. She's currently unemployed and has been for 15 months. She deals with anxiety and depression, et cetera, and I'm trying to be supportive of her mental shortcomings. Hmm. We are now married several y. Yeah, we are now married several years. She held a job for a good time while we got married.

It was after marriage. Everything seemed to fall apart. [00:18:00] She's on our second firing back slash layoff since 2022, and we are broke. I've liquidated 20 5K of my retirement savings already, just to make ends meet. We own a home we can't afford, uh, and debt we can't pay off. Then this evening she got drunk tonight and in her, in na in her drunken state, uh, this is his words, ladies and gentlemen, I'm trying to read it.

Mentioned that I'm sorry I lied to you and I made you think I was successful. I've never been able to keep a job. I dug in to get more clarity here, and more or less, she gets a six figure job for a year and then gets fired or quits. Just before this meeting, she took a year sabbatical, which I'm realizing now just means she got fired and didn't wanna work.

I married her under the certain impression of financial stability. We have a lifestyle built around such I've drained my retirement. Making ends meet her, only contributing in the last six months is draining hers Tonight, she states that applying for jobs [00:19:00] like what I had before is a seven to 10 in stress.

Mind you, this is applying, not interviewing, not taking a job, applying with three exclamation points.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: Am I overreacting? We both want kids. I've never entertained that we can't afford it. We are barely making ends meet. Now also, I feel like I was lied to majorly in all caps about where our finances are.

Making six figures is awesome, but the fact that she can't afford a job, can't hold a job for a year is totally different.

Is He the Villain?" – We Reacts 🎭👀💬

Bruce Anthony: Okay, Jay, what do you think about all that?

1. Aundrea: He is absolutely not overreacting. She lied.

Bruce Anthony: She didn't lie.

1. Aundrea: She lied. Um, and listen again. Marriage is a business agreement. a partnership deal. You have to sign a contract to get into it. You gotta go to a judge to get out of it. It is a, it is a, it is a business deal and in that, inherent in that is the financial discussion. [00:20:00] there is nothing wrong with thinking that you guys are in a certain place and gonna have a certain kind of lifestyle and relying on that. Right. and, and she lied. First of all, I don't know what industry she's in, but she needs to get out of it. Cla clearly. Uh, it causes her way too much stress to work in that industry.

Even though she makes good money, she needs to find something else to do like that. That's, that's the answer that I was having stress in the industry I was in. So now I'm in school to do something that I really want to do. Now, consequently, what I really wanna do is gonna make me some money, so that's great.

But, but, but I, I'm doing, I'm doing, I, I've decided to do something that I really want to do. So she's obviously in the wrong industry. No, you're not overreacting. She lied. But now that you know that if you want to stay together, y'all are going to have to probably sell that house. Y'all probably gonna have to give [00:21:00] up some assets to get out of debt, and she's gonna have to figure out what it is that she can do, that she can do for an extended amount of time and bring some money.

And you can't just not work just because you don't, you don't. It gives you stress. mental health issues are not shortcomings, my God. I, I could like literally my skin crawled when I read that. But, um, he is not overreacting. Not at all. She, she lied and she admitted, I'm sorry I lied to you about being successful. Um, it shouldn't have taken, taken him that long. I said took him. It shouldn't have taken him that long, honestly, to realize, I mean, home girl ain't been working for two years. Y'all

Bruce Anthony: Well, off and on. Off and on. She hasn't been worried.

1. Aundrea: she hadn't been working for the last 15 months,

Bruce Anthony: Well, yeah.

1. Aundrea: the, like a couple months into that, you should have been like, Hey, we need to start making some decisions because we're draining our [00:22:00] retirement to try to keep up a lifestyle that we are not a part of, like that we cannot afford. are out of the question until y'all get outta debt and get on your feet. Like, that's absolutely out of the question. Um, yeah, I mean they both kind of need to get real. And, and about their situation. And, uh, you're married now and if you wanna stay married, you're gonna have to work together to figure it out. But can't just use her mental health issues as a crutch to not do anything.

Bruce Anthony: Okay.

Behind the Scenes: Real Stories, Real Struggles 🎥💡❤️

Bruce Anthony: I think I might surprise you. I. With my answer.

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: I think the situation is way more nuanced and I think he is not overreacting and overreacting at the same time.

1. Aundrea: Explain.

Bruce Anthony: So yes, she was not truthful,

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: but most of the time in most relationships, [00:23:00] people hold, uh, something close to the cards that come out during the marriage and you're just like, wait a minute, I wasn't expecting this before.

And it was like, oh, surprise.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: So that in that regard, he absolutely is right for his reaction. He should feel deceived

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: It's not only a contract, but there are things that you save when on your wedding day. And one of the things is be there for you do, uh, thick and thin. Health. Richer for poor, better for worse, rich for poor.

I wish I remembered the words 'cause I said 'em almost 15 years ago, but I don't remember. But

1. Aundrea: years

Bruce Anthony: yeah, but it was something like that. Right? So he needs,

1. Aundrea: better or for worse part is people remember

Bruce Anthony: yeah. For richer, for poor,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: That's one of the things,

1. Aundrea: Sickness and

Bruce Anthony: sickness in the health. So if you are not real about that commitment,

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: then you came into the marriage under false pretenses as well.

1. Aundrea: [00:24:00] Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: So,

1. Aundrea: most people are not. Serious one day. I, in my opinion, be, I'm biased because I don't understand marriage, but it feels to me like, yeah, I'm staying for Richard, for poor, but I'm marrying a baller, so I'm straight. Like nobody's really thinking about it. And then a lot of problems come in with something does happen.

Bruce Anthony: hello? I, I was serious about mine. I took those words very, very seriously. But. Like, so if that's the case, then he walked into it deceiving, being deceitful as well. So you had two people walking into a marriage being deceitful

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: mental health is not shortcomings, like you said.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: He needs to acknowledge that.

And yes, it was great that she was making six figures. Might need to make a career change, might need to go back to school. Definitely need to downsize your life. Probably should have downsized your life. After the first six months, I had a friend who got married and six months into the marriage, his wife quit her job.

Now at the beginning he was [00:25:00] supportive. He was like, RV's stretching you out. Quit your job. Cool. Find another job. Two, three months into it, she's still not working. I'm going to him every day. Every day. Like she still ain't got no job. No. And then I said, and this is patriarchy. I know it. Then I said, well, at least you know you come home to a home cooked meal and the house is clean.

He says, no, I leave for work and she's on the couch. I come back from work and she's on the couch. I was like, well, obviously she's going through something

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: probably should get her some help. But also you kinda need to have a conversation to her, with her like, Hey,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: God, we, we gotta do something here.

'cause something gotta be contributed to this household.

1. Aundrea: Yes,

Bruce Anthony: So my man, look, you thought life was going to be a certain way. We all planned for certain things. We all planned for our lives to be a certain way.

1. Aundrea: yes.

Bruce Anthony: you gotta switch up. Sometimes you just have to switch up. If I decided right now that I wanted to downsize my life to give myself more time for this [00:26:00] podcast, I would have to downsize my life.

That would mean that I would have to stop working as hard as I do. To make the money that I make, I would have to downsize where I live. I'd probably have to get a little bit cheaper, you know, probably have to shop at Aldi for all my groceries. Probably wouldn't be able to drink Casamigos anymore.

Probably gotta drink the, uh, the Kirkland brand tequila, which is just fine on a regular basis, right? Like I would down, I would downgrade my life to do the things that I want to do that would bring me happiness.

1. Aundrea: right.

Bruce Anthony: Bro, you thought it was gonna be one way? It's not. So that's the reason why I said it was a lot more nuanced.

Like he's overreacting, but also not over, but also not overreacting because she was deceitful. But at the same time, life happens and you gotta switch up.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

The Final Verdict: Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong? ⚖️🤔✨

1. Aundrea: I disagree, I think. No, I hear you. But I, I hear your perspective, but I disagree. I think when you say those vows, you're saying them [00:27:00] in good faith of like, I'm not saying for richer or for poor. I'm saying if life happens, I'm gonna be there. That is not a, a license to give people carte blanche to do whatever they want.

She's doing whatever she wants

Bruce Anthony: But also suffering through mental health issues.

1. Aundrea: And is she getting help for that

Bruce Anthony: Well, that's what I said. I was like, yo, first of all, these aren't things that she's going, what did he call 'em again?

1. Aundrea: shortcoming, mental shortcomings or

Bruce Anthony: mental like, like, okay, not mental shortcomings, right? Like

1. Aundrea: you can't, I, anybody understands how bad your situation can get when you're not taking care of your mental health, I understand, but have. A partner. Now, you can't just use that as a crush, to not do anything when you have a responsibility to somebody [00:28:00] else too.

Bruce Anthony: Hmm.

1. Aundrea: not just responsible for yourself. And so she's not honoring the vows that she made.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Okay. You right, you right. You right about that. She's not iron,

1. Aundrea: if he said those vows in good faith and now we're here two years in and yeah, I said for Richard, for poor, but we're supposed to be working together towards something. We're supposed to have some duty obligation responsibility to each other.

Bruce Anthony: there's also sickness and health, right? Sickness and health means, I mean, mental health is a part of that. So he should also be supportive in her sickness and in health.

1. Aundrea: Yeah. Oh, I definitely agree. He has some learning to do because the, to call it shortcomings lets me know that don't understand the head space that she's in. But I'm also saying that she has a responsibility to him also.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Yeah. That's the reason why I said it's nuanced.

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: I said he's not overreacting and overreacting at the same time.

1. Aundrea: I, I, [00:29:00] I disagree. I think he is, I think he, I think he was deceived. I think she, it, it doesn't sound, I mean, we're getting his side. We don't know what's going on with her. We don't. But from his perspective, I'll admit is probably skewed because just of the way he called things shortcomings. Um. It doesn't seem like, it's like your friend and his wife just sitting on, she's on the couch when he leaves.

She's on the couch when he comes back. That's not upholding your part of the vows

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1. Aundrea: because there is things within your control. If you, if you can't work because your depression or anxiety is so bad that you can't work, then you need to do something to, you need to get some help. You need to be working towards fixing issues.

You can't let them sit like that. There are, there is help out there. [00:30:00] Like, so, so to me, I don't think he's overreacting. I just don't, I don't, I think if the situation was reversed you had a woman that was relying on her man, you know, you come into it expecting a certain lifestyle that you two would build together and he lied about it.

Everybody would be calling him a dog.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

1. Aundrea: Without even asking what he's going through. Right. So we have to apply those same, we keep that same energy. We don't know what she's going through, but we also know she's not doing anything about it. According to, from his perspective,

Bruce Anthony: Okay. Well that's the reason why I have you on the show to agree and disagree with me at the same time. As I said at the top, going to give you guys a sneak peek of one of our episodes of the after hours [00:31:00] uncensored. Now, I did say at the beginning, parental discretion is advised. Parental discretion is severely advised. During this episode, we start out. Cussing. I mean, now we cussing throughout the whole 30 minutes of this segment, but it is a sneak peek of one of the episodes of After Hours Uncensored.

Once again, you could check out our Patreon page at patreon.com/unsolicited perspectives, but once again, I'm giving all of my parents warning we be cussing in this next segment. Alright, that's enough of this intro. Go ahead and enjoy it.

I had a very interesting situation that happened to me this week.

1. Aundrea: Are we in the after hours?

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, we in after hours. Now you need a break.

1. Aundrea: Nah, I guess I just sip my little soda. Go. Tell me what happened. God.

Bruce Anthony: What? That's how we normally go. We normally, unless you,

1. Aundrea: you, you'll literally, you'll

Bruce Anthony: I literally,

1. Aundrea: let me go [00:32:00] refresh my drink or, so it is a

Bruce Anthony: I.

3. Aundrea: break. You just said 5, 4, 3. We got another YouTube exclusive. What we doing? Oh damn. We finish it up.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, no, I'm trying. Hey look, I'm trying to get to my Sunday fun day. Okay. I just slobbered on myself.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, that happens.

Bruce Anthony: that just happens.

A Friend in Need or Just in Need? The Shocking Backstory Revealed 👀🤔

Bruce Anthony: Alright, this, so this is what happened. Okay. I gotta give you a backstory. This story is kind of long but not really long. I'm try to make it short. So there's a young lady that I always thought was my friend.

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: another one of those situations, right, that I often find myself in, and this one was a little different because she was the stepdaughter of a client. So I knew the couple, the couple, the, the stepmother, interracial couple, loved that couple, right? Interracial couple. Um, the woman was around my age. The, the father was older, the father was a retired army guy.

Got drunk with [00:33:00] him one time told me, he was like, yeah, I'm the guy that they sent to go assassinate people. And I was like, bro, I don't really think you, I don't think you're supposed to be telling me.

1. Aundrea: I think you're supposed to still be under NDA for that,

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. And, and I was like, I don't really wanna know this. What if somebody come and try and torture me to get information?

I'm gonna give you up. Like I said, I don't really, I don't really know you like that. And also, I'm not gonna go through torture.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, like at all, like as soon as the, the guy comes in and unfurls the little, little bitter thing and it's got all these tools in it, and like, listen, you ain't even gotta do all that. Gone get an extra value meal. with a Sprite at a tape recorder. I'll tell you whatever you wanna know.

You don't, you don't have to do that.

Bruce Anthony: I was like, look, you, all you had to do was walk in and ask me something first. You ain't even asked me Now hold. Hold on man. You.

1. Aundrea: just assumed that I was gonna hold this information. I don't even know why I'm here. Ask me a question

Bruce Anthony: And I was like, those look, those, look, those tools look real torturous. Like what were you planning? Look, I'm gonna tell you [00:34:00] right now. Soon as you grab Yeah. Like, look, look. It don't have to be no expensive extra value meal. Just gimme a big mac of fries. I don't even really need, no, you can gimme water. I don't need no Sprite.

I'm gonna tell you everything you need to know.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: But anyway, so I was real cool with them and they were like, I didn't, I wasn't her direct trainer. She took a class, the stepmother, and they were like, Hey. Our, our, my stepdaughter is staying with us for the summer. She's high, a college volleyball player. Can you train her?

And I was like, yeah, I could train you, train her. So I gave her, you know, it was like we did a couple of sessions just to like keep her in, in shape during the summer. It, it wasn't that many, like I was not a trainer.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: It's one time we were at the bar. I was at the bar, remember she's college, so she's underage and she's drinking and she's at the table with these guys.

It's like three or four guys. And I was like, oh, hey. I was at the bar. I was like, Hey, how you doing? It's like, do you know those guys? No, not really. They're buying me drinks. I was like, Hmm,

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: I walk you home.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: She's like, you, no, I don't need to be walk home. I'll be fine. I was like, [00:35:00] okay, I'll walk you home.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: As I was leaving, I was like, because she was like, no, don't worry about it.

As I was leaving, I was like, Hey, I'm leaving. Do you wanna leave with me? She's like, yeah, I think I'll leave with you. And sure enough, as we were walking, we left out. They were following us and I pointed it out to her and I was like, see, I could tell that those guys like, look at what they're doing.

They're following us. This wasn't gonna be a good situation.

When the Tables Turn: The Moment Everything Changed 💡🔄

Bruce Anthony: So because of that, she knew that I would always look after her and we became friends. We legitimate, in my mind, legitimately became friends. Anytime she came in town, she was like, Hey, do you want to hang out? And there's a real age disparity, right?

It's gotta be like 10 years.

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: but we.

1. Aundrea: oh, we always had that one older friend that you just, that was just a good, solid person.

Bruce Anthony: Right.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: when her parents moved, when the stepmother and the father moved to Florida, she was going to a college right down the street from me, and she would, this is after I split my, with my ex. And she, she would be like, Hey, what are you doing? Can I [00:36:00] stop by and hang out? Like, yeah. And I knew it was to get out of the house that she was living in with her roommates.

She just ne she needed something. That was older and more mature and every now and then to get outta that stuff, right.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, for sure.

Bruce Anthony: I helped her move outta that townhouse to put her stuff in storage when all of her roommates like didn't lift a finger, right?

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: she leaves, she graduates, she leaves, and like I hadn't heard from her from her months

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: What? And so I like just stopped reaching out through the years.

She would now and then reach out like, Hey, how you doing? How you catch up? I thought we weren't friends, but I'm not that type of petty. So I'm like, all right, I know you are, but

1. Aundrea: left on red.

Bruce Anthony: But I'm not that type of petty. Somebody reaches out, I never ignore [00:37:00] people. I'm gonna say I'm good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then she would always reach out when she was having issues. She got married. I.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: Uh, I said, I was like, I don't know. This seems kind of quick. You getting married, you barely know the person, sure enough things didn't work out. She cheated. They eventually get a divorce during that whole process of her getting a divorce.

Who's she calling me? You're the only person I could talk to. I can't really talk to my family or anything about this. I know I can be open and honest with you. You go get me real. I was like, oh yeah, I got your back. This is during the pandemic.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I sent her a couple of text messages about the podcast. One she responded to, two, she didn't.

But I sent a lot of text messages, like mass text messages. So sometimes people didn't respond. I don't, I didn't really pay attention to that.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Somebody, uh, a friend of mine was talking about this woman on the internet on Instagram, and I was like, wow, that looks like my friend

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: of made me think about it.

And I was like, yo, I haven't talked to her in a while. I should just reach out to see how she's doing.

Face-Off: Calling Out Fake Friendship Energy 😤🚨

Bruce Anthony: So I reached out this week. I reached out on something like Monday [00:38:00] and it was like, Hey, how you doing? Haven't talked to you in a while. Friend brought up somebody kind of resembled you and thought I'd reach out and see how you're doing.

She's like, Hey, wow. Hey, everything is good. I'm married. I have a 2-year-old and I'm stationed at, uh, felt, felt Fort Belvoir, uh, 'cause she was in the Armed Forces. And I said, wait a minute, what? That's a lot to have happened in two years. 'cause the last time I talked to her was two years ago.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: was in the process of getting a divorce.

So you're married with a 2-year-old and I don't know anything about this. And guess where Fort Belvoir is?

1. Aundrea: I don't know.

Bruce Anthony: DC So she was in Alabama. She was in Alabama, Arkansas, or something like that when she was going through the divorce. Now she's in DC and I was like, oh well hold on. So you got married,

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: you had the 2-year-old.

You're right down the fucking road and you didn't reach out not one time, but yet you were constantly reaching out when you were going through it, [00:39:00] knowing that I was the only one you could talk to.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: I was like, I texted you a couple times about the podcast. You didn't respond back. Really? I didn't. I was like, do you have the same number?

Same number. I was like, okay. She was like, I don't have it in my thread. I was like, oh, it's 'cause you probably deleted it.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: She was like, oh, you keep receipts. I was like, well, I just don't delete text messages. 'cause you just never know when you gonna have to call somebody out.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I was like, oh, okay. And then to try to have a continuously had a conversation.

I got real short of my answers 'cause I was like, oh, so you only fucking reach out when you're in need.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: But I'm not truly a friend of yours. So since I'm not truly a friend, you didn't tell me about you getting married. You didn't tell me about you having a kid. You didn't tell me that you moved back into the area.

I.

1. Aundrea: This is why you get on my fucking nerves, Bruce.

Bruce Anthony: Wait, what? What did I do?

1. Aundrea: she already told you y'all weren't friends, and that's when you should have left her on red.

Bruce Anthony: Hold on. When I [00:40:00] told, when she said that, I was like, oh, we're, we're not. And then as she was thinking about it, she was like, you're the only one that was there for me. You're the only ones that supported me. And don't get me wrong, she's got some issues with abandonment and things of that nature. But that's the reason why I chalked it up to the game, because I do that.

There are times where I think that I'm not friends with people and I actually am, but okay. You're right. I'll be fucking up. Yeah.

1. Aundrea: You cannot keep continuing to make the mistake that you, of you thinking you are friends with somebody. I, I, I don't do that. I actually said that to somebody once. It was a, I was involved in, in her, uh, uh, it's like, um. coach business, right? I would do her photography and videography. I understood that this is a business relationship you call when you need photography and videography services. I was never under the impression that we were friends, so I'm [00:41:00] posting a lot about her business, different events she got coming up. Then I have my own event and it's crickets on her page. So the next time she hit me up to photograph something, I send her a bill. And she was like, well, I thought we were friends. I don't understand where this is coming. It's coming outta left field. And I said, I never made the mistake of thinking you were my friend. This was always business.

Bruce Anthony: Wait a minute, did you know what, that she wasn't your friend or did you realize she wasn't your friend when she didn't post anything on her page after you had been an advocate for her?

1. Aundrea: No. That's when I realized our business relationship was unequal. I.

Bruce Anthony: Ah, okay.

1. Aundrea: That's when I realized our business relationship was unequal. But I never make the mistake of thinking that somebody is my friend when the relationship is clearly fucking one sided.

Bruce Anthony: Mm.

1. Aundrea: Homegirl didn't do a fucking thing for you, Bruce.

Bruce Anthony: Uh.

1. Aundrea: Never. [00:42:00] But you So intent on rescuing motherfuckers. And giving people the benefit of the doubt that you keep putting yourself in this situation. You should have never gotten involved with her personal business if this motherfucker is not your friend.

Bruce Anthony: Well, I didn't know that she wasn't my friend. And,

1. Aundrea: you I'm not, we not

Bruce Anthony: and then, and then she was like, no, you're absolutely right. We are friends. But I should have been at that moment. And then it is not like I, it's not like, it's not like I tell her shit about me. Right. It's not like I.

1. Aundrea: also not like she ever asked,

Bruce Anthony: Or maybe actually people I, I don't know. You know, people do ask and I just don't be sharing shit, so sometimes

1. Aundrea: thing, but

Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

1. Aundrea: what this situation

Bruce Anthony: No, this situ no.

1. Aundrea: using you.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah,

1. Aundrea: For

Bruce Anthony: yeah,

1. Aundrea: they are in need and feel like you would understand their situation, but it was a hundred percent one-sided.

Bruce Anthony: yeah. It was, it was one sided. Yeah. Not,

1. Aundrea: [00:43:00] was not ever your friend.

Bruce Anthony: uh, yeah. I, I don't really believe,

1. Aundrea: told you that, realized, she said the quiet part out loud and tried to backtrack

Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

1. Aundrea: still needed you for stuff.

Bruce Anthony: Oh yeah. You probably right.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, please stop doing that. Honestly, I need you to write down a list of all the people you consider a friend. And let me, let me interrogate this list because

Hard Truths: What This Taught Me About Choosing Friends 🧠💔

Bruce Anthony: Because of this situation, because of this situation. This week, I revisited an issue that I have with, it's, you know what? It's all my female friends and that's my fucking problem. I need to, I need to cut off all these fucking females that are supposedly platonic, that are using me to, uh, for whatever reason, because I have another friend that I'm just like, yo.

You DM me, I respond back with memes and stuff. You don't ever really fucking respond back, but then you'll randomly, you'll randomly hit me up. I haven't seen you in a while. Let's hang out. [00:44:00] But like you,

1. Aundrea: friend. Yeah. But where were you on that list of people she asked to hang out with? What number were you

Bruce Anthony: right? Because should she be out in and she'd be out doing things and I'll never get no invite, no.

1. Aundrea: calling these people

Bruce Anthony: I don't call her my friend anymore. It was this week. I was like, oh, okay, well I'm not going. Good luck to her. And so she sent me something. I was just, for once, I ignored it and I have been, look, as I've gotten older, I've been revisiting these issues.

I haven't really had these issues. This just showed me who she was completely,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: thought. That we were at a different point, but when I was like, oh, you're here and you haven't reached out to me, okay, cool. That's all I needed to know. I'm not, I'm disappointed, but it's not like I'm angry or upset or anything.

And it's not like me not talking to her changes my life in any way. It doesn't, I don't

1. Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: really give a shit.

1. Aundrea: not your friend.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. But

1. Aundrea: If, if I lose a friend, a person that I call a friend, if I were to lose one of my friends, [00:45:00] I would feel that.

Bruce Anthony: yes.

1. Aundrea: That's how you know a person is not your friend.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. Well, I,

1. Aundrea: so that, so even listening to you tell the story like, we supposed to be friends. You didn't even tell me you was a ta. She already told you y'all weren't friends.

Bruce Anthony: yeah, yeah, yeah. You right. You right.

1. Aundrea: gotta listen to people

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, I do. I do.

1. Aundrea: Okay?

Bruce Anthony: I be thinking

1. Aundrea: got a laundry list of people that are using you for your emotional labor.

Bruce Anthony: not anymore. Not anymore because when I turned 43, I started cutting people off,

1. Aundrea: If they call you and it's always some shit,

Bruce Anthony: but I'm also messy, so I like hearing bullshit, like I like hearing shit.

1. Aundrea: don't mistake these people for your friends.

Bruce Anthony: Right,

1. Aundrea: them your friends.

Bruce Anthony: right. There's,

1. Aundrea: Just

Bruce Anthony: I.

1. Aundrea: that this is a person that calls me. They use me for my emotional labor. I'm messy. So I like to hear their stories, but just know that this is, there's no equity in this relationship 'cause they don't give a shit about my bullshit.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. No, I [00:46:00] see. I, I feel like, I feel like you're not understanding me when I explain. I'm not, I, I hadn't reached out to her in two years, so she wasn't, I didn't have this idea that we were these great, great friends. I assumed that if she was back in town, that she would reach out and be like, Hey, I'm back in town.

How have you been?

1. Aundrea: Because you assumed she was a friend,

Bruce Anthony: I assumed that at the very least, she was friendly with me. How about that?

1. Aundrea: even what you thought she should have said. Hey, I'm back in town. How have you been? When has she ever said, how have you been?

Bruce Anthony: After I asked her how she'd been.

1. Aundrea: Exactly.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, but you know what? It is crazy because then sometimes I think, well, I'm friendly with somebody, but they're not really my friend.

1. Aundrea: Hmm.

Spotting Real Ones: How to Tell Who’s Actually Got Your Back 🕵️‍♂️🤝

Bruce Anthony: I. And then the podcast is showing me who's like, I've got people out there who are [00:47:00] legitimately my friends that I didn't realize that they were my friends.

I had a friend called me this weekend and they were like, Hey, do you, can we do you wanna go to happy hour? I was like, yeah, this is cool. We've been trying to connect for a little while and I was like, yeah, that's cool. Let's go to happy hour. And I was like, she's about to tell me some bullshit. We're going to happy hour because she got some bullshit going on.

I know what it is. And we go to happy hour. And I'm like, so what's up? She's like, no, I just wanted to hang out. What? Like, it took me aback. I was like, well, you ain't got no bullshit going on that you need to talk about. No, I just, I just wanted to hang out.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Like we haven't had, we hung out a, a few weeks ago in a group setting, but she was like, we haven't had no one-on-one time in a while.

And I just wanted to catch up. I.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: like, oh. And then I, as we're talking, she was like, yeah, I remember you said that on your podcast. I was like, oh, you listen. She's like, not to every episode, but I try and listen as much as I can. I was like, you're really my fucking friend. Like you're really my friend.

1. Aundrea: it's, and it's, need to start

Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

1. Aundrea: [00:48:00] Why you misidentify friendship so often?

Bruce Anthony: I misidentify relationships so often because I, I as, as we were given advice, the people perception and reality. Yeah. My perception is, yeah, just what this is, and that's not whatever way, it's

1. Aundrea: the, that you equate the relationship to being used in some way.

Bruce Anthony: what, huh.

1. Aundrea: it's like, like that you call friends, people who, there's no equity in that relationship. It's just you being counted on.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, it's called trauma.

Friendship or Free Ride? The Truth About Keeping It 50/50 ⚖️🤷‍♂️

1. Aundrea: And when there are people where there's actual equity in your relationship, they want to spend time with you because they enjoy your company,

Bruce Anthony: I think it's an alter motive

1. Aundrea: you are like, oh, this person's my friend.

Bruce Anthony: shut.[00:49:00]

1. Aundrea: Is this what friendship means?

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, I guess I've always had a bad judgment when it comes to, well, I've had bad judgment when it comes to relationships all my life,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: what they are friends,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: A romantic,

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: piss poor. And there's, there's probably some, there's, there's, there's a reason behind it. I haven't pinpointed it yet.

I haven't pinpointed it. There's a reason behind it. I don't know why. Mm.

1. Aundrea: Yeah, I mean even I, I, I came to the realization, uh, much earlier than you did. Um, but when I met my best friend, um, well, I'd known her since I was 12, but we became best friends when we were about 16, 17 years old. And I saw the difference between my friendship with her, where there was equity and my friendship with other people where there wasn't.

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

1. Aundrea: Where she, because she loved and cared about me, [00:50:00] would tell me when I was being stupid, people who didn't give a damn about me would just co-sign whatever bullshit. I would say like that. Like that teaches you the, it was like, oh, this is an actual friend and these people are not that.

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm. But it'd be weird sometimes 'cause I've got friends in my life who co-sign everything that I do, and I'm just like, no, I need you to correct me. And I know that they love and care about me. I'm like, no, I need you to call me out on my bullshit. And then I have other friends who love.

1. Aundrea: enabler,

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, and I have other friends who love to call me out on, on my bullshit.

I'm like, damn, I need you not to call me out so much. But then, but then I can't trust them around in certain situations. I got a lot of confus.

1. Aundrea: pruning that tree. sorry. You need to start

Are We Friends or Just Friendly? Drawing the Line in the Sand 🏖️🚧

Bruce Anthony: Well, I, to me, I only, I, I say friends, but to me. I always equate it to, [00:51:00] if I stop talking to this person, 'cause you know me, I can cut a person off. If I stop talking to this person, would it bother me?

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I like, you know, we have a mutual friend that one time said like, we had a disagreement. It was like, I don't know if we can be friends anymore.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: that shit hurt 'cause it was like a big brother.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: then I was like, yo, I really love this dude. That shit hurt. Then I've had other people be like, we can't be friends anymore. And I'd be like, okay.

1. Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: That like,

1. Aundrea: the game.

Bruce Anthony: and then,

1. Aundrea: season. You

Bruce Anthony: yeah.

1. Aundrea: every, all the time.

Bruce Anthony: And so it's,

1. Aundrea: a reason and season.

Bruce Anthony: so I know who really matters to me by, if I sit and think about it, if I never spoke to them again, would it bother me?

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: And there's, it's like, it's like three or four people that are not blood.

1. Aundrea: how, that's really how it is.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, that's So when I say friends, I don't, I mean, I really mean friendly.

1. Aundrea: yeah. You, you know me that I'm very, very picky

Bruce Anthony: Yeah,

1. Aundrea: using the word friend.

Bruce Anthony: I [00:52:00] know.

1. Aundrea: Um, like for me, my friend, you're my coworker. You know, do you have my personal number? Do I ever call you to, to hang out? Do I ever do, I don't do any of those things. We only interact at work. You're not my friend, you're my coworker, and I'm not delusional enough to assume otherwise.

You know, or, or like, know, it's just, you gotta be more selective because, not because of them, but for yourself. You deserve equity in your relationships. Whether or not you see that you deserve to have people just contact you because they need something from you,

Bruce Anthony: Hold on now. I, I feel like in the last two years I've done a real job of weeding these people out.

1. Aundrea: but we still have this conversation

Bruce Anthony: WW

1. Aundrea: after [00:53:00] hours.

Bruce Anthony: No, we don't. No, we don't. And I just was just an interesting story this week. 'cause I was like, at the very least, if you didn't consider me friend, we were friendly.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: and, and I know I have a lot of people. Because of what I do that I'm friendly with that have moved away. And when they come in town, they'll be like, Hey, I'm in town.

Would you like to get together? And I'm like, I didn't know that we was on that level, but uh, okay, I guess we can get together. Um

1. Aundrea: that's not a symbol of friendship. I've, I've gone home and not had not seen my best friend, and that's my best friend.

Bruce Anthony: mm-hmm.

1. Aundrea: That's not what defines a friendship.

Bruce Anthony: said friendly. I said, friend. See, I say friends, and what I really mean is I'm friendly with the person

1. Aundrea: you gotta find another word,

Bruce Anthony: I, yes.

1. Aundrea: acquaintance associate.

Bruce Anthony: But when you tell people that, that they're an acquaintances associate, they get offended. Well, no, I'm your friend. I'm like, I'm friendly [00:54:00] with you. I don't like hurting people's feelings.

1. Aundrea: yeah, that's, that's it. That's it right there.

Bruce Anthony: I'm done with this therapy session. I don't wanna talk about this no more.

1. Aundrea: They will live. They will be just fine

Bruce Anthony: I don't know. I'm pretty, I'm pretty cool.

1. Aundrea: hey, no,

Bruce Anthony: I, I don't know. I'm pretty cool. People like being my friend.

1. Aundrea: people will be all right.

Bruce Anthony: I don't know. Some people I don't know.

1. Aundrea: like the amount of labor you're willing to put up for very little in return, that's what they like.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. That's the story of my life.

1. Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: That's the.

1. Aundrea: need to, you need to cut that shit out.

Bruce Anthony: Well, you're in the middle child. You are able to do shit like that. You are able to go off on your own. I'm the oldest. That's frustrating. No, I don't know. I don't know. I'm just trying to put some blame on it. Not take responsibility. Yeah, no, I, no, I, I, like I said, I'm disappointed.

'cause at the very least I thought we was friendly

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: uh, the fact that, that, that is the way it is now. Okay. So she could say right now, Hey, [00:55:00] do you know I got a friend? Lemme tell you how fucked up I am. I got a friend who lives right down the road.

1. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: is a friend.

1. Aundrea: Okay.

Bruce Anthony: friend, okay. And I know that she's a friend because anytime she's doing something, she always invites me out and anytime I invite her out, she always pops up, even if it's inconvenient for her.

She pops up, she lives right down the road and she was like, when you gonna come and visit? Bought a house? Her and her husband bought a house two, three years ago. When you gonna come and visit me? You live right down the road. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna come do it two, three years. I still haven't done it.

She has every right to be like, I don't fuck with Bruce no more.

1. Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: And and matter of fact, when we get off of this, I'm gonna reach out to her and be like, Hey, what is your schedule for the next couple weeks? I need to come down there and visit you because I do need to come down and visit her and visit her.

'cause she is legitimately my friend. Um. Yes, I needed to do more examinations. What's up, Roni, about friendship, but I'm tired of talking about this shit.

Wig Chats & Self-Care Realness: Let’s Get Personal! 💇🏾‍♀️✨

Bruce Anthony: Let's talk about the fact that I thought that your wig wasn't on right.

1. Aundrea: [00:56:00] Ru, is a headband. This is not, my wig is not sliding off my head. It's a headband. It is a headband wig. I just got my locks titan. They're, they're, they look fantastic. I'm very excited about like. How far they've come, like transitioning to locks, like I'm very happy, but they're still not in a place where I can just wear my hair out. So I do have a bunch of like headband wigs because they're very easy to wear. You just shake them bad boys and go, and that's what I like. I'm not going, not gonna do no whole gluing down the, the baby hair. I'm not gonna do all that. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna have no 40 inch bust down. It is a nice little bob. Keep it natural. But no, my wig is not sliding off my head. It is a headband.

Bruce Anthony: And even though you got the new light and you all [00:57:00] shining, bright skin is flawless and you don't look No. 41 goddamn.

1. Aundrea: somebody lied to me the other day, so they were trying to sell me a timeshare. So that's how I know it was a lie.

Bruce Anthony: Okay.

28. Aundrea: So I was at a, I was at a hotel picking my friend up. We were gonna go get some dinner, and they were like, uh, the person that worked there was like you, you traveled. They were at a little. Little, uh, podium and stuff. You travel. I said, yeah, I travel already. In my mind, I'm like, this is about to be some timeshare. This is about to be some timeshare mess. And I know it. well listen, hey, you come for our, uh, for our talk, our presentation. It's two hours. I can hook you up with a free vacation and a cruise, so I'm gonna go back and do it, but I'm gonna let them know. I ain't, I ain't buying no timeshare. But she said, you just gotta be over 28. Are you over 28? I said, God bless you for saying that. Uh, yes. I'm very much over 28. And she was [00:58:00] like. What? And I was like, yeah, I am. I am absolutely over 28. And and then she was like, I that I asked because I didn't think that you were. And then everybody, all the hotel work is all chiming in and I'm like, y'all full of it. I'm 40 years old

Bruce Anthony: No.

1. Aundrea: look 40

Bruce Anthony: No, you don't. No, you don't.

90. Aundrea: because 40 years old is not 90.

Bruce Anthony: But,

39. Aundrea: it's one year over 39. It's not that old.

Bruce Anthony: alright, so before, before this goddamn, um, Thanksgiving and I blamed Cracker Barrel,

1. Aundrea: You should.

Bruce Anthony: I was down in my weight skin with Flo that night that we went out to the bar. Like, I was like, oh, I'm holding it the fuck down and I'm not holding it the fuck down anymore. I, I look at the mirror, I'm like, God damn, what the fuck is going on?

So I need to get back to my shit. But, but I have this weird thing in my dating life, [00:59:00] whereas the women my age tend to look old, like old.

1. Aundrea: What race are they? Because as you know, black does not crack.

Bruce Anthony: Black doesn't crack.

1. Aundrea: aware,

Bruce Anthony: Black doesn't crack if you take care of yourself.

1. Aundrea: true, like hard living on anybody is just gonna show up on you.

Bruce Anthony: Right

All right. I want to thank everybody for watching and listening to the show. I want to wish everybody a happy holiday weekend. Once again, there won't be an episode releasing this upcoming Tuesday, but we will be back for the sibling happy hour next Friday. And once again, if you miss us, we will still have original content on our YouTube page.

We are going to have. Three different YouTube exclusives that's gonna be airing over the [01:00:00] next seven days. So check those out. Also clips from our other shows if you haven't watched or listened to the full shows, clips for our other shows. And then once again, you can always join our Patreon and within a couple of months you won't have to join the Patreon because I know some people don't know how to really work.

Patreon, which is just a website that you sign up to. What we're gonna start doing is offering memberships for our after hours uncensored and special exclusive stuff on our YouTube page. Memberships will be just like the Patreon, and we will announce 'em when we release 'em. But on that note, enjoy your weekend.

Take some time to yourself. Reflect, love yourself. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching, and until next time, as always, I'll holler.

Woo. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, [01:01:00] comment, and share our podcast. Wherever you're listening or watching it to it, pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock, we'll enjoy it also.

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Audi 5,000 Peace.