[00:00:00]

Jay Was Already ENRAGED Before We Hit Record 😤🔥🎙️

[00:00:00] Bruce Anthony: My sister's rage, family and friends, we gonna get into it. [00:00:05] Let's get it.

[00:00:10] [00:00:15]

Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥

[00:00:17] Bruce Anthony: Welcome, first of all, [00:00:20] welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony. Here to lead the conversation in important [00:00:25] events and topics that be shaping today's society. Join the conversation to follow us [00:00:30] wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast, [00:00:35] YouTube exclusive content and a YouTube membership rate review.

Like. [00:00:40] Comment, share. Share with your friends. Share with your family. Hell even share with your [00:00:45] enemies. On today's episode,

Sibling Happy Hour: Sips, Laughs & Sibling Shenanigans 🍹😂

[00:00:47] Bruce Anthony: it's the sibling happy hour. I'm here with my sis Jay, Andrea. [00:00:50] We're gonna be dilly daning a little bit, and then we're gonna be doing a lot of Reddits. Am I [00:00:55] overreacting? But that's enough of the intro.

Let's get to the show.

[00:01:00] [00:01:05]

[00:01:07] Bruce Anthony: What up sis?

[00:01:08] J. Aundrea: What up brother?

[00:01:09] Bruce Anthony: I [00:01:10] can't call it. I can't call it, but you told me. Before we get into anything, ladies and gentlemen. [00:01:15] First and foremost, let me just remind you again that we're taking a [00:01:20] break for the holidays. This will be the last episode until [00:01:25] January the sixth, which is the Tuesday. Uh, so we're gonna just be taking some time off.

[00:01:30] Don't worry. If you need some original content, jump on our YouTube page. We'll have some [00:01:35] original contents on there. This is just a reminder that we're taking a much [00:01:40] needed vacation. But Jay. Before we even started recording, you jumped on here and you [00:01:45] said, I'm enraged.

[00:01:47] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:01:48] Bruce Anthony: Why?

[00:01:49] J. Aundrea: Yeah. [00:01:50] So lemme tell you how my evening went last night.

Dead Squirrel Chaos: A Dog Owner's Nightmare 🐕💀😱

[00:01:52] Bruce Anthony: Okay.

[00:01:53] J. Aundrea: I let my dogs out [00:01:55] for their, for their last, you know, their evening potty

[00:01:59] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:01:59] J. Aundrea: before [00:02:00] bed. And I see roney sniffing something in the yard. [00:02:05] I walk up, it looked like a dog toy, and I was like, I don't remember buying them. This [00:02:10] dog toy. Some neighbor dog must have left it in the yard or Roscoe sees it and he goes [00:02:15] right for it.

Picks it up, starts running around with it, and I realize it's a dead [00:02:20] squirrel.

[00:02:20] Bruce Anthony: Mm.

[00:02:21] J. Aundrea: A a real dead squirrel, not a toy[00:02:25]

[00:02:25] Bruce Anthony: No.

[00:02:25] J. Aundrea: real, and he thinks it's playtime

[00:02:28] Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

[00:02:29] J. Aundrea: and I [00:02:30] cannot catch him. And I'm out there in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder. [00:02:35] Because this dog thinks that this squirrel is a toy and [00:02:40] he will not let it go, and I'm chasing him all around the [00:02:45] cul-de-sac.

He will not let it. He's shaking it. Just having a good old [00:02:50] time juking me, breaking my ankles, all kinds of things. [00:02:55] I'm screaming at this dog. It's clearly not a game he has an electric collar on. [00:03:00] It wasn't until I got him in his crate and took it off that I realized the collar wasn't even on. It [00:03:05] wasn't even on.

So I'm trying to shock him. Collar's not even on. So [00:03:10] he's not responding. Having a good old time. I finally go get the shovel. 'cause sometimes he drops [00:03:15] it.

[00:03:15] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:03:16] J. Aundrea: I cover it with the shovel. I grab him, [00:03:20] get him in the house, throw him in his crate. Okay? But that's not the end of it. That's not the end, [00:03:25] because I have to let them out again this morning, which means I have to [00:03:30] get rid of this dead squirrel that's in my yard.

[00:03:33] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:03:34] J. Aundrea: So I'm out there with a [00:03:35] rake and a [00:03:40] shovel

[00:03:40] Bruce Anthony: [00:03:45] Okay.

[00:03:47] J. Aundrea: to finesse this [00:03:50] dead squirrel into the shovel so that I could then [00:03:55] carry it deep into the forest. Because it can't be close. [00:04:00] They'll catch the scent, he'll get it again. I have to carry it deep into the forest [00:04:05] and throw it upon the brush. So that's [00:04:10] how, and you know what, they still kind of started picking up the scent because he was [00:04:15] going to where I was.

I walked into the woods. I said, not today, [00:04:20] never again. So he is on punishment, and so I'm not in a great [00:04:25] mood. I'm not in a great mood, and you know how these Reddits get me [00:04:30] fired up, so we're just gonna, we're gonna roll with it. [00:04:35] I'm telling everybody to break up. Everybody needs a divorce, [00:04:40] everybody go no contact.

That's my [00:04:45] response to everything today.

[00:04:47] Bruce Anthony: that's your response.

[00:04:47] J. Aundrea: be great.

[00:04:48] Bruce Anthony: That's your response to [00:04:50] everything all the time. It's part of the reason why sometimes I come to you for [00:04:55] advice and sometimes I don't because I'll be like, Jay ain't going to be, [00:05:00] Jay ain't gonna step outta herself and gimme the best advice. She gonna always say, cut it. [00:05:05] That's

[00:05:05] J. Aundrea: my, that is the best advice. Most of the time, most of the time it's cut it, no, most of the [00:05:10] time people hold on to things for, for reasons that do not even [00:05:15] benefit them. And so a lot of the time the response is [00:05:20] to cut it.

When to Tell Someone to Leave: The Breaking Point 💔🚪⚡

[00:05:21] Bruce Anthony: Okay. Yes, but a person can only cut it [00:05:25] when they're ready to cut it,

[00:05:26] J. Aundrea: Yes, but I'm at least gonna put the bug in your ear.

[00:05:29] Bruce Anthony: [00:05:30] Well, yes. Uh, but most people are defiant or maybe [00:05:35] not most people. I'm defiant. And, and, and they're gonna just be like, no, they're gonna dig in. [00:05:40] We are gonna get into it. 'cause some of these Reddits is just like, Hey, do we say something or do [00:05:45] we not say something?

But I know for me personally and for giving [00:05:50] advice, people come to me all the time and they're like, what do you think I should do? And. I'm [00:05:55] always, you know, very thoughtful in my reaction. I don't like to tell [00:06:00] people, you should do this or do that. Unless they like, at Bruce, what should I [00:06:05] do? And I'm always like, I think this is the best course of action, but I know that [00:06:10] people are never going to leave a situation until they're fed up.

[00:06:14] J. Aundrea: Yes. [00:06:15] Yeah.

[00:06:16] Bruce Anthony: And so it's,

[00:06:17] J. Aundrea: but I feel like the moment they come to you for [00:06:20] advice, that's the start of

[00:06:21] Bruce Anthony: mm-hmm.

[00:06:21] J. Aundrea: the start of the process of getting fed up. [00:06:25] And so I'm just gonna put that bug in your ear. [00:06:30] Hey, it seems like you're getting fed up.[00:06:35]

[00:06:36] Bruce Anthony: I

[00:06:36] J. Aundrea: You might be getting fed up for a reason.

[00:06:38] Bruce Anthony: I know personally [00:06:40] I have to get to that breaking point or else I can't let go. But once I get to that break and go [00:06:45] breaking point, oh, I've let go. Completely Ain't no coming back. [00:06:50] Uh, ladies and gentlemen, the reason why I was laughing during the intro is because my sister was so [00:06:55] enraged in the beginning that it messed me up.

That's the reason why I was chuckling in the intro. It was still gonna be one take, [00:07:00] Bruce. I was still that. Look, y'all gonna get it even if it's messy. That's just what it is.[00:07:05]

[00:07:05] J. Aundrea: And guess what? You got through it all, so,

[00:07:07] Bruce Anthony: I got through it chuckling, but I did get through it all.

[00:07:09] J. Aundrea: [00:07:10] Yes.

[00:07:11] Bruce Anthony: All right, so Jay, we gonna start to get to these Reddits. And ladies and gentlemen, like I [00:07:15] said, this is the last episode before we go on vacation.

And I'm gonna be real honest with you. It's gonna be a full [00:07:20] episode, but it's gonna be a full short episode, which means, which means that we not gonna go for the full [00:07:25] hour. More than likely that's what the plan is. But both me and my sister [00:07:30] have, uh, the gift and the unfortunate gift of G. So [00:07:35] who knows how this long this show is

[00:07:36] J. Aundrea: We could, we could be quite loquacious.

[00:07:39] Bruce Anthony: Uh, [00:07:40] uh, yes. Loquacious, meaning that, uh, you could just talk for a long time. Yeah.

[00:07:43] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:07:44] Bruce Anthony: Alright, [00:07:45] so this first Reddit is, am I overreacting? When, and the, [00:07:50] the whole basis of this Reddit and this segment is when do you tell [00:07:55] a friend or a loved one to leave a relationship? That was not planned to me, and my sister was [00:08:00] literally talking about that before this Reddit, but. That's what we gonna talk [00:08:05] about. So I'm not reading these Reddits because I'm a little tired and it seem like I [00:08:10] got cotton mouth and it might just be because I'm dehydrated and I'm also drinking right now. [00:08:15] So I'm gonna have somebody else read them. So here we [00:08:20] go.

[00:08:20] Guest: My daughter, age 30, has been dating a man also 30 for about [00:08:25] four years. I'm concerned that his penny pinching habits are starting to affect her health. [00:08:30] He only showers at her house because he says it's too expensive to use his own. [00:08:35] He never drives on

The Penny-Pinching Boyfriend: Red Flags Everywhere 💸🚩😬

[00:08:36] Guest: their trips claiming fuel costs are too high. So she always uses her [00:08:40] car.

When they eat out, he insists they pay separately, but if he decides he's [00:08:45] not hungry, he'll share her plate. He also uses her home as his office to work [00:08:50] from home. The list goes on. I can see this is wearing her [00:08:55] down. She tells me about all these things and I've commented that she will never be happy with [00:09:00] him because of his meanness In other ways, he seems fine, courteous and polite, [00:09:05] but this side of him is troubling Today she phoned to [00:09:10] ask if I would drive him to a train station about 40 miles away because it would add [00:09:15] $36 to his fair if he left from his local their trips claiming fuel costs are too high. So [00:09:20] she station.

She also asked if I could collect him on Tuesday. I [00:09:25] declined. told my wife I'm reluctant to have him visit us for [00:09:30] Boxing Day lunch. He won't bring a gift or a bottle and he'll likely ask for leftovers [00:09:35] to take home. The irony is that he has a good job and puts about [00:09:40] $2,144 a month into a savings account. So my question is, do I [00:09:45] speak up or do I stay quiet?

[00:09:49] Bruce Anthony: You wanna take this [00:09:50] one first?

[00:09:51] J. Aundrea: Yeah. Um. He is homeless.[00:09:55]

[00:09:56] Bruce Anthony: Okay. You calling them a homosexual?

[00:09:59] J. Aundrea: No, no, no, no. [00:10:00] He's homeless. [00:10:05] He's homeless. Um, I need to see the savings [00:10:10] account

[00:10:11] Bruce Anthony: Hmm

[00:10:11] J. Aundrea: it exists.

[00:10:13] Bruce Anthony: hmm.

[00:10:13] J. Aundrea: I don't believe it [00:10:15] exists. He is, he is homeless and jobless. [00:10:20] And his car got repoed.

[00:10:23] Bruce Anthony: Mm.

[00:10:23] J. Aundrea: why he needs rides to the [00:10:25] train station. That's why it's always taking her car. And that's why it's like this. He [00:10:30] showers at your house 'cause it's too expensive to shower to, [00:10:35] sorry, I'm sorry. We have to pay separately, but then he won't eat. He'll eat off my [00:10:40] plate and I'm still playing for, he's homeless. He [00:10:45] is unhoused and jobless [00:10:50] and. I need to see receipts because none [00:10:55] of that makes sense. None of that. None of that makes sense, [00:11:00] girlfriend at that big age. [00:11:05] None of that makes sense. Um, do I [00:11:10] speak up or do I stay quiet? I wouldn't have stopped speaking [00:11:15] up. I would've been speaking up from the [00:11:20] moment I was told that this person comes to your [00:11:25] house to take showers so that they don't have to pay their water bill. [00:11:30] That's that's the moment. [00:11:35] I would've the first instance of this shenanigans, I would've never [00:11:40] stopped speaking up, especially as this person's parent.

No. And you putting away [00:11:45] money in a saving saver for what?

[00:11:47] Bruce Anthony: Probably saving for a home if you homeless.[00:11:50]

[00:11:50] J. Aundrea: I need to see receipts. He has a good job where, how do you know [00:11:55] you ever picked him up from work? Hmm.

[00:11:59] Bruce Anthony: he might have [00:12:00] found out if he decided to go ahead and pick him up for that train station

[00:12:03] J. Aundrea: Yeah. Why is

[00:12:04] Bruce Anthony: him off.

[00:12:04] J. Aundrea: [00:12:05] why, why is he taking the train? And it's too expensive to take it from his, his, [00:12:10] uh, uh, the, his local station. He don't have a local station baby. [00:12:15] He don't have a local station. He uses your [00:12:20] home as his office to work from home 'cause he don't have a computer or [00:12:25] internet or electricity. [00:12:30] I would've not. What do you mean? [00:12:35] Do I speak up? There was, there was never a time I wasn't speaking up.[00:12:40]

[00:12:40] Bruce Anthony: Okay. The dynamic is father daughter. It's a little [00:12:45] different than siblings.

[00:12:46] J. Aundrea: Nope.

[00:12:46] Bruce Anthony: So

[00:12:47] J. Aundrea: You are a parent.

[00:12:49] Bruce Anthony: [00:12:50] yes. Alright, so here's my take. He, he could have his own [00:12:55] place and just be incredibly cheap. I know people who are incredibly cheap.[00:13:00]

[00:13:00] J. Aundrea: This is extreme.

[00:13:01] Bruce Anthony: This is extreme, [00:13:05] I know people who are incredibly cheap. Look, this is what I'll [00:13:10] say as far as whether he should speak up or stay quiet. I think there are [00:13:15] two. Separate things, speaking up and staying quiet. Right? You can [00:13:20] say something which is not staying quiet, but not necessarily speaking up. I [00:13:25] had a situation where I had a friend that was in a bad [00:13:30] relationship. I've actually had several friends that were in a bad relationship. Uh, these two particular [00:13:35] cases I'm gonna bring up.

In one case, the person kept telling me about [00:13:40] their partner

[00:13:40] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:13:41] Bruce Anthony: and about. Stuff that I considered, oh, this [00:13:45] is kind of like a deal breaker for me, but I could tell that you really love them. And instead of [00:13:50] saying, Hmm, this seemed like a deal breaker to me, I would just [00:13:55] ask questions to make them think about the situation.

'cause a lot of times [00:14:00] people realize what they're going through subconsciously, [00:14:05] but, and are saying it, but it's not connecting. And so I would ask [00:14:10] questions just to make them think. Another person, another friend of mine, sent me a whole voice [00:14:15] note, bunch of voice notes. It was like a reisa type of situation, [00:14:20] just explaining their circumstance, and what I said to [00:14:25] them was, Hey, I'm not gonna really make a comment.

You know what I think you [00:14:30] should do? Go back and listen to what you said. [00:14:35] I know personally, I was in a situation. And I was explaining it [00:14:40] to a friend and it was talking out loud and [00:14:45] saying it, as opposed to just running it over and over and over and over in my head, it was speaking and [00:14:50] out loud to me. Me be like, wait a minute.

The hell am I doing? So. [00:14:55] I don't think he should necessarily be like, Hey, look, this person is homeless [00:15:00] the way you were going about it. I don't necessarily think that's the best way because this [00:15:05] is the father and you always run the risk of this person digging their [00:15:10] heels in because they love him,

[00:15:12] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:15:12] Bruce Anthony: going no contact [00:15:15] to not even have to deal with what you're having to say anymore.

[00:15:18] J. Aundrea: Here I have, [00:15:20] if the train station is 40 miles away, [00:15:25] where exactly are you [00:15:30] going?

The 40-Mile Train Station Mystery Deepens 🚂🤔💰

[00:15:31] Bruce Anthony: And Duke sound like if Johnny is [00:15:35] traveling at five miles per hour on the train and the train is 40 miles [00:15:40] away from the station, how long does Johnny take to get to the station and what is the cost? Yeah, I [00:15:45] mean,

[00:15:45] J. Aundrea: am I taking you one stop away?

[00:15:47] Bruce Anthony: I, who [00:15:50] it was 40 minutes, right? Yeah,

[00:15:52] J. Aundrea: 40 miles.

[00:15:53] Bruce Anthony: miles. Well, 40 [00:15:55] miles could be 40 minutes.

Or in DC that could be three hours. So, and in [00:16:00] Atlanta it could be three hours. All I'm saying is he could speak up without speaking up. [00:16:05] Sometimes it is just, Hey, how are things going? And then letting them explain [00:16:10] it out loud. Sometimes they, people just need to hear it. Hear the [00:16:15] words from their situation outta their own mouths.

[00:16:18] J. Aundrea: but here's the thing, [00:16:20] she's been explaining it because that's how her dad knows about it in the first [00:16:25] place. So now's the time. To be like, Hey, [00:16:30] do me a favor one day. Insist [00:16:35] he drive one day in. Tell him he [00:16:40] can't work from home. Maybe they're just to make up that they're doing maintenance or something on your apartment or [00:16:45] something.

Just tell him one day he can't and that you gotta go to his place to work. [00:16:50] Just one day. Make it inconvenient for him. [00:16:55] And see what his reaction is, and that will tell you all you need to know.[00:17:00]

[00:17:00] Bruce Anthony: Yeah, I, I agree with you. Right? I agree with you, but it's the [00:17:05] dad's perception that this is affecting her health. It doesn't seem like. [00:17:10] She's coming to him saying, Hey, this is an issue for [00:17:15] me. It seems like the dad is saying [00:17:20] this is a issue for her.

[00:17:21] J. Aundrea: He said, I can see this is wearing her down. She [00:17:25] tells me about all these things and I've commented that she will never be happy with him because [00:17:30] of his meanness. It's not his meanness.

[00:17:32] Bruce Anthony: oh.

[00:17:32] J. Aundrea: taking advantage of

[00:17:33] Bruce Anthony: right, but she's [00:17:35] not saying that she's feeling a type of way. This is her father's perception [00:17:40] of what she's feeling. She's not voicing that. And if [00:17:45] she

[00:17:45] J. Aundrea: don't know when she tells him about these things. We don't know the [00:17:50] way in which she's telling him

[00:17:51] Bruce Anthony: I feel like, I feel like if she. Yeah, I feel like if [00:17:55] they were complaints he would've said, she is complaining. She might be happy with the situation [00:18:00] and not think that big, not think of that big of a deal. She and her herself might be [00:18:05] like, I kinda like the situation because I like the fact that he comes over 'cause I don't want to go over his [00:18:10] place.

I like the fact that we split down the middle and I pay for my own stuff.

[00:18:13] J. Aundrea: to go to the [00:18:15] land to make believe.

[00:18:17] Bruce Anthony: I'm just, I'm just saying [00:18:20] yes. Sometimes we can look at a situation and be like, Ooh, our friends or our loved ones are in a [00:18:25] bad situation. But unless they are vocalizing

[00:18:27] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:18:28] Bruce Anthony: that they feel like they're in [00:18:30] a bad situation, not our perception of it, but unless they're vocalizing [00:18:35] it, we don't know that they're not happy with what the circumstances are.

Just because we wouldn't put up with the [00:18:40] circumstances doesn't mean that I look. Other people do what they wanna do, and [00:18:45] we handle things differently. You always want to cut things off.

[00:18:48] J. Aundrea: so part of speaking [00:18:50] up, the first question would be how are you feeling about all of this?[00:18:55]

[00:18:55] Bruce Anthony: That's what I,

Sometimes You Just Have to Ask: Are You Happy? 💬💔✨

[00:18:55] Bruce Anthony: yes.

[00:18:56] J. Aundrea: Are you happy in this relationship? What are you getting out of it? Where are [00:19:00] the benefits to you?

[00:19:03] Bruce Anthony: Right?

[00:19:04] J. Aundrea: And I hate [00:19:05] this question with a passion, but it feels like it needs to be asked, what does he bring to the table

[00:19:09] Bruce Anthony: [00:19:10] Mm. Yeah.

[00:19:11] J. Aundrea: besides politeness and courteousness,

[00:19:14] Bruce Anthony: Well, I [00:19:15] tell you what I would absolutely tell her is like, Hey look, don't be bringing [00:19:20] me into your shit. Don't be asking. Look, yeah, y'all got your own [00:19:25] situation. No, I'm not about to drive him and pick him up 'cause he don't wanna pay the extra $36. [00:19:30] I'm

[00:19:30] J. Aundrea: And she been going through this for four years.

[00:19:32] Bruce Anthony: Look, I'm Hey, but that's what I'm saying.[00:19:35]

Maybe. Maybe she's happy, right? Maybe she's happy. We know people and [00:19:40] we know people personally that. Don't like to go out, don't like to do [00:19:45] this, don't like to do that. You know, I personally don't like to go out to dinners. It's weird. Other [00:19:50] people love going out to dinners. People like and dislike what, what they have or what's ever, you [00:19:55] know, and people are different.

So maybe she's just like, I rock with it, you know, it ain't no big deal for me. But what [00:20:00] you not going to do is inconvenience the hell out of me. 'cause you going to have a si a particular situation [00:20:05] that's on you. I'd be like, I'd be just like the dead hell to the na.

[00:20:09] J. Aundrea: [00:20:10] yeah. I'm not driving him 40 miles away, so he could save $36. [00:20:15] Mind you. I'm spending $36 in gas to get you [00:20:20] this 40 miles so you can go out. Don't nowhere. Because it seems like I'm taking you most of the [00:20:25] way.

[00:20:28] Bruce Anthony: All right, so me and my [00:20:30] sister sort of agree, but mostly disagree about how to handle the situation. We both agree [00:20:35] that you gotta say something, just what you say is just a little bit different. But I do agree with [00:20:40] the fact that asking, Hey, you happy?

[00:20:43] J. Aundrea: Hmm.[00:20:45]

[00:20:45] Bruce Anthony: You good. How you feel about this particular situation.

I do agree with that. And [00:20:50] hey ladies and gentlemen, sometimes that's all you need to do. You ain't gotta voice your opinion all the time. Let people live they [00:20:55] lives. If they miserable, eh, people only gonna change when they want to change. You can't make 'em [00:21:00] change.

[00:21:05]

[00:21:08] Bruce Anthony: All right, Jay, this is a [00:21:10] similar story, kind of.

It's about a couple[00:21:15]

[00:21:15] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:21:16] Bruce Anthony: in a relationship, but this one's a lot more [00:21:20] serious. The headline is, am I overreacting to my family, lying to me about [00:21:25] my sister's wedding? And you'd be like, damn, why you? Why is your family lying to you about your [00:21:30] sister's wedding? Like, what the hell is going on with y'all? I'm just gonna let. [00:21:35] tell it

[00:21:37] J. Aundrea: Okay.

[00:21:37] Bruce Anthony: then me and my sister is going to [00:21:40] let y'all know our opinion about it.

[00:21:43] J. Aundrea: [00:21:45] Okay.

The Wedding Lie: Family Hiding Abuse for a Green Card 💍🚨😡

[00:21:45] Guest: My sister, who is 18, is getting married in three months. When I met her [00:21:50] fiance for the first time, I witnessed him hit her. Apparently this wasn't the first time, [00:21:55] and I've been deeply upset ever since. My parents believe he can change, saying he [00:22:00] didn't know you're not supposed to roughhouse with girls, but he also kicked my 9-year-old cousin [00:22:05] leaving a mark on her side. he's abusive, and I've told my [00:22:10] relatives. Now everyone is calling my parents telling them they're wrong for encouraging [00:22:15] and still planning this wedding. Meanwhile, I've been told I'm overreacting that I'm creating [00:22:20] drama by speaking out about what I saw. While my parents continue to push for the marriage. [00:22:25] A week ago, my sister called and said they were postponing the wedding and going to counseling, but today [00:22:30] I found out that she and my parents made up that lie just to silence me. They didn't [00:22:35] want me telling anyone else about the abuse or turning family against my parents and her fiance. [00:22:40] How long were they planning to keep this lie going until after the wedding?[00:22:45]

I feel so hurt that I'm considering going no contact with my parents, [00:22:50] am I overreacting? The reason they're rushing into marriage is to get him a green card since he's not a [00:22:55] US citizen.

[00:22:59] Bruce Anthony: Jay [00:23:00] and ladies and gentlemen, if y'all are not watching the video, which you should by the way, 'cause uh, our [00:23:05] facial expressions add a lot more. Uh, but if you listen to the audio. Thank [00:23:10] you. Anyway, uh, my sister's expression. Priceless. Jay, tell me [00:23:15] what's on your mind.

[00:23:17] J. Aundrea: There's nothing he can do

[00:23:19] Bruce Anthony: Hmm.[00:23:20]

[00:23:21] J. Aundrea: and that's the sad truth. If your [00:23:25] sister is determined to do this, and your parents, no matter what [00:23:30] are pushing her for this to get this person a green card, when he [00:23:35] will surely abuse her and definitely [00:23:40] leave her once he's established as a citizen, there's nothing you [00:23:45] can do. nothing you can do. Yeah, [00:23:50] 18. She's an adult. You voiced your opinion. You've let people know [00:23:55] you've done everything you could do up to and maybe including [00:24:00] whooping his ass. But there's really, honestly, aside from you meeting with [00:24:05] him, man to man or if, I don't know if this person is male or female, actually you [00:24:10] meeting with the fiance and letting them know you put your hands on my sister.

I'm gonna [00:24:15] put my hands on you. Aside from like anything like that, like. And, and, and [00:24:20] again, like that's just creating a cycle of violence. There's honestly nothing that you can do[00:24:25]

[00:24:25] Bruce Anthony: Hmm.

[00:24:25] J. Aundrea: except when [00:24:30] your sister falls be there to catch her.

When There's Nothing You Can Do: The Hardest Truth 😢🙏💔

[00:24:33] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:24:34] J. Aundrea: There [00:24:35] isn't, but you, you are outnumbered in this situation [00:24:40] and everybody is digging it.

If you've already. Told people. Told her [00:24:45] you. It is not. I believe he's abusive. He definitely is. If he's willing to [00:24:50] do that in front of you, he definitely is. He's [00:24:55] doing worse. Behind your back. There's [00:25:00] nothing you can do except to let her know that if she [00:25:05] needs you to call you and that you will be there, [00:25:10] but. But she is, it seems [00:25:15] like she's got this in her head enough to lie to you. The [00:25:20] parents are really, truly terrible [00:25:25] because honestly, what does him getting a green car have to do with your [00:25:30] money? Okay.

[00:25:34] Bruce Anthony: gotta be, [00:25:35] ladies and gentlemen, I was doing the money sign. Uh, I forget. Sometimes it's audio. It, it is gotta be [00:25:40] money. It's got, 'cause it sounds like, it sounds like they're marrying their daughter [00:25:45] off because he got some money. So [00:25:50] that's, that's to me, that's gotta be the reason behind it. Either he got some money [00:25:55] or his family got some money.

There's some money. Tied to all this, which in certain [00:26:00] cultures they like, look, it's a come up. Hey, back in olden times, that's what they used to do. [00:26:05] They used to marry off their daughters. So, so I, it's barbaric to me, [00:26:10] but I, I didn't grow up in that culture, so I'm, I [00:26:15] can't judge a culture for having their customs.

I can absolutely judge a, [00:26:20] a man for hitting a woman now. I only believe [00:26:25] the only time that you should ever raise your hands to a woman [00:26:30] is one if she's a licensed fighter. Okay. [00:26:35] I dated a woman who was a semi amateur Muay [00:26:40] Hai fighter. Me and her never got into it. We never had to, it was, we never fought or anything like that.[00:26:45]

But because she had fought semi-pro [00:26:50] and was trained to fight. And she squared up on me. [00:26:55] The first thing I'm gonna try and do is grab her and be like, Hey, stop. But if she start whooping my [00:27:00] ass, we gonna have to rumple.

[00:27:02] J. Aundrea: Yeah, it's a Wonder Woman situation, right? Like, [00:27:05] nobody ever, nobody ever gets on the male villain [00:27:10] for fighting Wonder

[00:27:11] Bruce Anthony: Or super girl.

[00:27:12] J. Aundrea: or Super Girl, or to, you know, nobody [00:27:15] ever says anything about, uh, what's his, what's his name? [00:27:20] Uh, Thanos punching. Uh, capital [00:27:25] Marvel, and nobody said no. Right? Because these are women that [00:27:30] can beat the hell outta anybody.

So, um, okay.

[00:27:34] Bruce Anthony: [00:27:35] Yeah. This young girl is not,

Violence as Self-Defense: When Is It Justified? 👊⚖️🔥

[00:27:36] J. Aundrea: you know, we don't condone violence, but

[00:27:39] Bruce Anthony: Hey, look, I [00:27:40] look

[00:27:40] J. Aundrea: I see what you're saying. If they, if they can legitimately whoop your ass,[00:27:45]

[00:27:45] Bruce Anthony: Right, that you defending yourself, then you, you right, you defending yourself then, [00:27:50] um, so, and you don't condone violence. I [00:27:55] say violence is sometimes necessary and should be condoned. Okay? And this is one of them [00:28:00] type of situations. Jay, it you, my sister, love you to death. [00:28:05] Or I've been, been trying to watch over and protecting you for the last 41 [00:28:10] years, right?

If something happened to you. Just like our, our younger brother always got me into [00:28:15] fights. If something happened to you, I'm riding given my life, [00:28:20] right? Don't care what happens to me. 'cause I'm protecting you. If somebody ever, [00:28:25] ever put their hands on you in front of me. I [00:28:30] don't think that anybody would be able to stop me from unliving them.

Like [00:28:35] it would have to be a group effort because what, [00:28:40] so first of all, I gotta question my man, like, why you ain't jump on him right away? [00:28:45] 'cause you might not condone violence. I condone violence in certain

[00:28:49] J. Aundrea: I mean, we [00:28:50] don't know. He didn't, he could have left that part out,

[00:28:53] Bruce Anthony: and he probably, if he did.

[00:28:54] J. Aundrea: to [00:28:55] implicate himself,

[00:28:56] Bruce Anthony: Well, also, if he got his ass whooped, he probably might have left that [00:29:00] out. Okay. But if you did get your ass whooped, you could always catch him from behind the back. [00:29:05] Right? Like you could catch him when he's, when he's asleep. Not literally asleep, but when he's

[00:29:08] J. Aundrea: okay to fight [00:29:10] dirty in this situation. Absolutely.

[00:29:11] Bruce Anthony: I think it's okay to fight dirty in every situation because in our big adult life,[00:29:15]

[00:29:15] J. Aundrea: Oh

[00:29:15] Bruce Anthony: you fighting for your life.

So there is no fighting dirty.

[00:29:18] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:29:19] Bruce Anthony: [00:29:20] You are right. There's nothing that he can do, but there is something that he could do. He could run this guy [00:29:25] off, and I don't condone this because it's [00:29:30] being used in a very hurtful manner [00:29:35] that's destroying people's lives. However, [00:29:40] this is a type of situation where you call ice. [00:29:45] This is the type of situation where his ass got to go [00:29:50] because the family ain't listening or don't care or [00:29:55] condoning it,

[00:29:55] J. Aundrea: clearly don't care.

[00:29:57] Bruce Anthony: and there's obviously something behind that [00:30:00] and we think it's money and I think I need to go ahead and collect them. That's [00:30:05] one way to get rid of them if you can't beat 'em. Call somebody else to beat him.

I [00:30:10] now, I don't typically, like, I think people are weaponized in ice and I actually don't believe in [00:30:15] ice at all.

[00:30:15] J. Aundrea: is weaponizing itself.

[00:30:17] Bruce Anthony: Right. But this is the type of situation [00:30:20] where, let's go ahead and take his ass up out the country. [00:30:25] He, that this is the type of situation where maybe he need to be in that, uh, El Salvador in prison, or [00:30:30] Guatemala in prison.

I'm just saying.

[00:30:32] J. Aundrea: he's uh, he's abusive. He's a [00:30:35] predator, and it's not going to get better.

[00:30:38] Bruce Anthony: He kicked a kid.

[00:30:39] J. Aundrea: [00:30:40] married. Yeah.

[00:30:41] Bruce Anthony: a kid.

[00:30:41] J. Aundrea: a girl. A little girl.

[00:30:43] Bruce Anthony: Was it a little girl? [00:30:45] I know it was a 9-year-old kid.

[00:30:46] J. Aundrea: he said my 9-year-old cousin leaving a mark on her side,

[00:30:49] Bruce Anthony: [00:30:50] Yep, yep. You right. No, no. I'm calling ice.

[00:30:53] J. Aundrea: so it's not going to [00:30:55] get better.

[00:30:55] Bruce Anthony: No, this ain't

[00:30:56] J. Aundrea: gonna get progressively worse. The problem [00:31:00] is, if he continues to push the brother, if he continues to [00:31:05] push, then when his sister is in trouble, she's not gonna call [00:31:10] him. The OI honestly think [00:31:15] because he's ju, he's just, even, even family calling the parents, [00:31:20] nothing is persu, which means the money gotta be money [00:31:25] Because honestly, because honestly, [00:31:30] you think he, he didn't know he, you weren't supposed to rough house with girls. What are you [00:31:35] talking about? He's not, he's not a toddler.

[00:31:38] Bruce Anthony: Well, if she's [00:31:40] 18. Okay. No, he's not Tyler.

[00:31:41] J. Aundrea: Then the minimum,

[00:31:42] Bruce Anthony: I was, I was trying to, uh, no, I [00:31:45] can't. Yeah, you're right. right.

[00:31:48] J. Aundrea: There's no, yeah, [00:31:50] he kicked a 9-year-old in the side, a [00:31:55] 9-year-old girl. What in the hell? And if that is not enough [00:32:00] to keep the parents or his sister from saying that he's overreacting and [00:32:05] creating drama, fine. Fine. Y'all do what y'all want to do, [00:32:10] but sis I'm letting you know if you need me, call me.[00:32:15]

Because honestly, I don't. And, and it's a sad situation. [00:32:20] It's absolutely. But if they're going up to like all the way [00:32:25] to lying to you, one, you not gonna be invited to this wedding [00:32:30] probably is gonna happen and you not gonna know about it.

[00:32:32] Bruce Anthony: Well, he already said that they lied to him about it.[00:32:35]

[00:32:35] J. Aundrea: Yeah. And they're like, how long are they gonna keep this lie until after the wedding?

[00:32:40] Probably. It's probably gonna happen, and you're not gonna know about it. The only thing you could do is go to your [00:32:45] sister and be like, I am concerned not just for your [00:32:50] safety before your life. If you go through with this, I'm [00:32:55] telling you, you are putting your life in danger. If you get to [00:33:00] a point where you cannot handle it, call me.

I will be [00:33:05] there immediately. But other than that, there's nothing, there's [00:33:10] nothing you can do. People have to, the hardest thing [00:33:15] about domestic violence situations [00:33:20] is convincing the person that they need to get the hardest thing, honestly is, is [00:33:25] making a path for them to get away safely. But sometimes it's convincing the person [00:33:30] that they need to get away.

[00:33:31] Bruce Anthony: Hmm.

[00:33:33] J. Aundrea: And [00:33:35] sometimes you can't convince them. The only thing you could do is say your peace and [00:33:40] be there when they need you, and know that they, and let them know that they [00:33:45] have your unconditional support. But, [00:33:50] but they have to want to get away [00:33:55] and then you can help create that path for her. But. [00:34:00] She's entirely too young. This [00:34:05] is, I, I, I don't know what, I don't know what your parents are thinking. [00:34:10] It's got, the only thing I can think of is a, they [00:34:15] do not care about her at all. Her safety, her wellbeing, her life, they care. [00:34:20] Nothing about her enough to put, what I can only assume is got [00:34:25] to be a a lot of money.

Ahead of her and [00:34:30] her safety, and it's enough that they're willing to push her [00:34:35] into this and to continue to push for the marriage. [00:34:40] That is disgusting and you should be disgusted. And [00:34:45] if you want to go no contact with those people, feel, feel free, [00:34:50] feel free. They lying to your face anyway, but. But I know that [00:34:55] you clearly love and care about your sister.

Pull her aside and let her know [00:35:00] that. And then, I mean, you could really, [00:35:05] there's nothing you can do except wait for the call,

[00:35:09] Bruce Anthony: the simple [00:35:10] answer, Sarah, are you overreacting? Hell no.

[00:35:14] J. Aundrea: [00:35:15] not even close.

[00:35:20]

[00:35:24] J. Aundrea: Alright, Jay, [00:35:25] for this last one, also another relationship. One I, I've [00:35:30] felt this personally.

Yeah.

[00:35:32] Bruce Anthony: I've kind of been in this type of [00:35:35] situation. Um, you've never been married, but you've, you've, [00:35:40] have you dated anybody that had kids?

[00:35:43] J. Aundrea: No.

[00:35:44] Bruce Anthony: No. Okay. [00:35:45] It's a, it's a weird dynamic when you're dating a single parent [00:35:50] and they are co-parenting, which is what you hope that they would be doing.[00:35:55]

Uh, this situation though is.

[00:35:57] J. Aundrea: Oh, I'm lying. Yes. Uh, yes, I [00:36:00] have.

[00:36:00] Bruce Anthony: I was about to say, I was like, I kind of enlight. You have, but I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. Uh, it's [00:36:05] always weird when you're dating somebody who is a single parent [00:36:10] and they are co-parenting and how that all works when you're in the picture as well, [00:36:15] but kind of not in the picture.

And that's what this is all about. Ladies and gentlemen, this is [00:36:20] kind of long, but an interesting story. So I'm gonna let them explain it and then we're gonna give [00:36:25] our responses to it.

Christmas Morning Drama: The Ex-Wife Situation 🎄😰💑

[00:36:28] Guest: I'm 31. My [00:36:30] boyfriend is 32 and we've been together for two years. He was previously married and shares a 10-year-old [00:36:35] son with his ex-wife who is 30. For context, I hate Christmas and had a rough childhood, which [00:36:40] I think subconsciously impacts how I feel about the situation. My boyfriend, me [00:36:45] his ex, and her new husband all chipped in for a large Christmas gift for his son.

The boy already [00:36:50] knows what it is and knows it's from all of us. The other day while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend suddenly said, [00:36:55] Christmas morning, we're going to my ex's house to give our son his gift altogether. I was caught off guard and just [00:37:00] said, okay. His ex tried to do this last year, but we declined since it's a big joint gift.

[00:37:05] He agreed this time, I don't want this to become a yearly tradition. I used to have a decent relationship with his [00:37:10] ex until one of her toxic relatives falsely accused me of yelling at her son. Even after her son [00:37:15] confirmed, it never happened. She never apologized and now won't even look at me. So you can see how [00:37:20] uncomfortable this is for me.

I tried talking to my boyfriend. I told him I understood his side. He thought he was doing [00:37:25] the right thing since we all chipped in, and he probably wanted me there for support. I know how important it is to give a [00:37:30] child of divorce a nice Christmas. I'm a child of divorce myself, so I get how complicated co-parenting [00:37:35] can be.

Then I explained my side that my feelings weren't considered before. I was volunteered for something [00:37:40] extremely uncomfortable that I wish we had talked about it first. That I need my feelings to matter [00:37:45] too, and that we need better communication before decisions are made in emotionally loaded situations.

[00:37:50] He didn't really take it in. He said, I understand it's awkward, but it would be weirder if you weren't there. [00:37:55] You're going to have to do things around them. Sometimes that's part of dating a parent. I reiterated that I understand, [00:38:00] but I just want him to talk to me first instead of volunteering me without asking.

He apologized [00:38:05] and that was it. I've been thinking about it ever since I even talked to my therapist. At the core of it, [00:38:10] I feel like he pushed my feelings aside to make his ex happy. He didn't even think to talk to me first, [00:38:15] and honestly, I don't think his son would care. He already knows the gift is from all of us.

I'm just the [00:38:20] girlfriend, not his wife or stepmom. If it had been presented to me first, I might've been more open. [00:38:25] If I had been considered at all, I might've been more open, but I wasn't, and I don't want to go. [00:38:30] I'm tired of hurting myself to make others happy. My therapist even told me this is something I need to work on.[00:38:35]

So would I be wrong if I told my boyfriend I will not be attending his ex-wife's house on Christmas morning? [00:38:40] And how do I say it gently?

[00:38:43] Bruce Anthony: Jay, what you think?[00:38:45]

[00:38:45] J. Aundrea: Yeah, you would be. Yeah, you would be [00:38:50] wrong. Here's the thing. Um, first of all, [00:38:55] I don't think he's doing this to make his ex [00:39:00] happy. I think he's doing this to make his child happy. Um, [00:39:05] he wants to be there with his girlfriend of two [00:39:10] years who chipped in on the gift [00:39:15] to see. His sons opened the gift, the [00:39:20] reaction to celebrate the holiday with them.

I think you're putting a lot of your [00:39:25] own Christmas feelings in it. I think you are [00:39:30] centering yourself in it. Whatever you got going on with [00:39:35] his mom, listen, that's, you ain't got to deal with that lady. [00:39:40] You don't have to deal with that lady. important thing is [00:39:45] being there to make a good memory for this child.

And if you think the [00:39:50] child won't notice, just because you're a girlfriend and not a stepmom or any of the, or a [00:39:55] wife or anything, you're, you're insane. You've been in this child's life for two years. [00:40:00] They're 10, they're 10. [00:40:05] It's not like, this is like a, a [00:40:10] 17-year-old and like there he is, he's 10, so he's known you [00:40:15] since he was eight. it's, he's a little kid. [00:40:20] You know

[00:40:20] Bruce Anthony: two years between eight and 10 is an eternity for that. Yeah.

[00:40:23] J. Aundrea: an eternity for [00:40:25] the, that child knows you, knows who you are. If you don't come, they will notice. [00:40:30] You shouldn't have said just, okay. If you [00:40:35] wanted to have a con, first of all, when you caught off guard, why are you responding [00:40:40] when you're caught off guard, that's

[00:40:42] Bruce Anthony: A lot of,

[00:40:42] J. Aundrea: you and your therapist need to work on.

[00:40:44] Bruce Anthony: well, a lot of [00:40:45] people do that, but also, yes, that is something that, that, that she needs to work

[00:40:48] J. Aundrea: because if I'm caught off [00:40:50] guard, my immediate answer is no. And then let me think about it. My [00:40:55] immediate answer is not, yes, you don't wanna go 'cause you don't [00:41:00] wanna deal with her. You think it's gonna be awkward. You don't even like Christmas. [00:41:05] You don't really seem to have much of a relationship with this kid.

Um, [00:41:10] that's why you don't want to go

[00:41:13] Bruce Anthony: Hmm. [00:41:15] Okay.

[00:41:15] J. Aundrea: it, don't have it, it you're centering yourself in this, and I'm not [00:41:20] saying that your feelings are not valid. They are, it is gonna be awkward, [00:41:25] but let me tell you something, I don't, I don't know too many people [00:41:30] that's, that's tight with their partners [00:41:35] prior, you know, situation. [00:41:40] I don't know anybody who is, I mean, I'm sure it's out there, [00:41:45] right?

You know, I feel like the wills will Smith. [00:41:50] First wife and Jada get along pretty well, so I, I, I, I know it happens, [00:41:55] but you know, typically it's awkward.

[00:41:58] Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

[00:41:59] J. Aundrea: Okay. [00:42:00] You just lucky you don't have to a situation where she, they're still trying, they're still messing with [00:42:05] each other.

[00:42:06] Bruce Anthony: Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she's, she's married. [00:42:10] Yeah.

[00:42:10] J. Aundrea: He's been with you for two years.

That's not the, everybody's coming together [00:42:15] to give a good memory for this child. If you don't wanna do that, say that, [00:42:20] but know that there's gonna be consequences to that because I guarantee you, for your boyfriend, [00:42:25] his son is gonna come first.

[00:42:27] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm. [00:42:30] So I agree with everything that you just said, except she [00:42:35] is right in one aspect. He should have talked to [00:42:40] her.

He Should Have Talked to Her First: Communication Fail 💬❌😤

[00:42:40] J. Aundrea: Yes, yes.

[00:42:42] Bruce Anthony: Um, now I don't know if [00:42:45] she's expressed how uncomfortable it is around his baby moms, [00:42:50] however, he should pick up how uncomfortable it is around [00:42:55] the baby moms and he should be like, Hey, look, we've been together for [00:43:00] two years.

At, at a certain point when you're in your thirties, when you've been together for [00:43:05] a few years, you are thinking about long term.

[00:43:09] J. Aundrea: [00:43:10] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:10] Bruce Anthony: Like it. Otherwise, why the hell are you with this person? Right? Like you, after about [00:43:15] nine months to a year, you're, you should know, alright, I'm [00:43:20] seriously considering spending the rest of my life with this person.

And if you don't have that [00:43:25] answer, this is the only time I say cut it. Because otherwise you're just wasting time. [00:43:30] I know people in three, four, or five year relationships and I'm like, are y'all gonna get married? Like, what are you [00:43:35] doing? Like you don't necessarily have to get married, but do you wanna spend the rest of your life with this person?

I don't know. That's [00:43:40] something that you absolutely should know after a certain point in time.

[00:43:43] J. Aundrea: Probably know that. Yeah.

[00:43:44] Bruce Anthony: [00:43:45] So he is paying attention to [00:43:50] this whole situation, and you're right, if the choice is between his son [00:43:55] and her. gonna choose his son. The only time that she'll be chosen above [00:44:00] her son is if he decides to make her his wife.

[00:44:05] Because I've explained it before and a lot of parents jump down at me, but this was [00:44:10] explained to me from a parent, the most important relationship that [00:44:15] you have is your partner. When you [00:44:20] decide to get married, when you decide to marry some part somebody that is the most [00:44:25] important person in your life, that doesn't mean that you choose them over your kids.

It's just simply [00:44:30] saying that's the most important person and you need to consider their feelings and everything. [00:44:35] Now, they're not married yet, but he still needs to consider her feelings, and if he was a good [00:44:40] boyfriend, he would know she got a problem with Christmas.

[00:44:44] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:44:44] Bruce Anthony: Now, [00:44:45] me personally, I would be like, look babe, I know you got a problem with Christmas.

We all pitched in. Which by the [00:44:50] way, why? What the hell did y'all get 'em? Where four people had four grown folks had to pitch in for a 10 year old's [00:44:55] gift because that's crazy. What the hell did y'all get this

[00:44:58] J. Aundrea: right.

[00:44:59] Bruce Anthony: [00:45:00] We all pitched in for this. Thank you, by the way, for pitching in, that really means a lot to me that you would [00:45:05] pitch in for my son's gift.

I know you and her got tension, [00:45:10] but this ain't about any of that. It's about him and [00:45:15] he rocks with you and he's gonna be appreciative. I know you had this feeling. I think [00:45:20] it would be great to go over there just for the morning [00:45:25] and then we'll have our own time just for the morning when he opens up the gift, maybe has some breakfast [00:45:30] and then bounce, and then I would plan something special for [00:45:35] us because she did that for me.

That's me. I'm super, super [00:45:40] overly, as you say. Too much considerate, but that's what I would [00:45:45] do because I hate putting people in awkward situations unless I'm [00:45:50] purposely doing it by things that I say, but this would be different. That's my only [00:45:55] grievance that I have with what you said is that [00:46:00] no, she does have a legitimate claim.

She should, this had, should have [00:46:05] been discussed with her also. [00:46:10] Probably she should have probably assumed that this was also going to be the case [00:46:15] because she knew, as she stated beforehand, that the previous year the mama tried to [00:46:20] do this. The mama ain't trying to cause no ruckus. The mama [00:46:25] is trying to give their son a happy Christmas.

Package Deal Reality: Dating a Parent Means Forever 👨‍👦📦💯

[00:46:29] J. Aundrea: And, [00:46:30] and if you, and, and I, if you [00:46:35] think is not gonna be an annual thing,

[00:46:38] Bruce Anthony: Mm.

[00:46:38] J. Aundrea: is Christmas and [00:46:40] he's a child, he's gonna want his parents there. [00:46:45] For Christmas

[00:46:47] Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

[00:46:47] J. Aundrea: and you, you knew [00:46:50] getting with a man with a child. He is a package [00:46:55] deal and that includes his ex because she is the [00:47:00] mother of that child. He is a package.

Either you wanna get with that [00:47:05] package or you need to get the hell on.

[00:47:07] Bruce Anthony: Right, [00:47:10] right. And this is something that

[00:47:11] J. Aundrea: say, I don't want this to be every year. That that [00:47:15] child go, God willing, that child gonna be there every year. He not gonna miss a Christmas.

[00:47:19] Bruce Anthony: [00:47:20] the rest of his life, for his rest of his life.

[00:47:21] J. Aundrea: For the rest of his life,

[00:47:23] Bruce Anthony: father is going to, it [00:47:25] doesn't stop at

[00:47:25] J. Aundrea: gonna be a dad

[00:47:26] Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

[00:47:27] J. Aundrea: for forever. Okay. [00:47:30] So he ain't gonna miss a day. So let just know [00:47:35] that Yeah, it's a possibility that that will be an annual thing.

Maybe [00:47:40] sometimes you all will host them. And sometimes they'll host you, but it's [00:47:45] probably going to, they're probably going to want to both be there [00:47:50] for their son's Christmas and that's gonna involve you. And if that's not [00:47:55] something that you want, that's a conversation.

[00:47:59] Bruce Anthony: Mm. [00:48:00] All of it is a conversation, and she [00:48:05] needs to decide with her herself personally. Are you ready for [00:48:10] something like this? Not everybody is built to be a mother. Not [00:48:15] everybody is built to be a stepparent, which is something completely different than being [00:48:20] a parent. I'll never forget. Uh, this is a personal story I'll never [00:48:25] forget.

I was dating a woman with kids and I was like, the kids love me. I [00:48:30] was like, the kids, they tell me that they love me all the time. You know, you knew my, I, I love the [00:48:35] kids. I just melted my little heart. I know them. Kids didn't love me. They ain't know me long enough to love me, but they would just be [00:48:40] like, lay your breath light.

When I was leaving, I was like, oh, them little kids, you know how much the kids touched my [00:48:45] heart. And I was cool with the daddy. Just for me personally, I was [00:48:50] like, I'm not gonna cause no ruckus because like I. That's their father. Like [00:48:55] there's no reason for there to be any type of conflict. And, and unless you say something slick out your mouth that I [00:49:00] gotta check you, I'm not, I'm never going to have a problem.

I'm not one of them dudes that had that, that [00:49:05] ego you used to be with My woman. Yeah. My woman used to be with several people. I [00:49:10] hope that should not deter the fact that I'm with her. I'm, I don't care[00:49:15]

[00:49:15] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

The Pecking Order: When You Realize You're Not #1 💔👨‍👧‍👦😔

[00:49:16] Bruce Anthony: until I got around. kids [00:49:20] with him, we were doing a whole group thing and I was really expecting the kids to be like, they typically [00:49:25] were all over me and they were not.

They were all over they daddy. It wasn't like [00:49:30] I was completely invisible, but I realized in the pecking order where I [00:49:35] stood and a low key little bit broke my heart, but then I was like, no, this is the position. [00:49:40] Like this, that's their father. I would only be a [00:49:45] stepparent if I married this person. And obviously we didn't get married, but it's like, oh, okay, [00:49:50] I'm the boyfriend.

They like me, that's their dad. And you have to no matter [00:49:55] what, you have to be cool with the fact that you will always be [00:50:00] the other person. And that's not, yo, not a lot of people was built [00:50:05] for that. Not a lot of people's, and she got that look within herself to see are you [00:50:10] built or not?

[00:50:12] J. Aundrea: Right.

[00:50:13] Bruce Anthony: Are you built on all, [00:50:15] uh, on that note, Jay, what do you wanna leave the people with? [00:50:20] I.

[00:50:22] J. Aundrea: I don't know. I feel like I said it all. Hey, you know, just check [00:50:25] your yard for animals. You watch your dogs [00:50:30] because I am. I [00:50:35] cannot calm down. I am so angry

[00:50:39] Bruce Anthony: I, I, I [00:50:40] would've let go of

[00:50:40] J. Aundrea: gross, gross occurrence. I [00:50:45] mean, he was having a ball and I was losing my [00:50:50] mind. And then the fact that I then had to scoop it up,[00:50:55]

[00:50:55] Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

[00:50:56] J. Aundrea: it's not the way I wanted to start my Sunday.

It's just [00:51:00] nots. So y'all got what y'all got with these [00:51:05] Reddits?

[00:51:06] Bruce Anthony: Uh, which was Rage,

[00:51:08] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:51:08] Bruce Anthony: the Lady of Rage. [00:51:10] That's your, uh, no, we can't take that. That's copyrighted from the rapper. Uh, on [00:51:15] that note, ladies and gentlemen, I wanna wish you a happy holidays once again to remind you that we're gonna be on a break, [00:51:20] but we're coming back January the sixth. But happy holidays. I wanna thank you for listening.

I [00:51:25] wanna thank you for watching, and until next time, as always. [00:51:30] I'll holler.

Wrapping Up: Happy Holidays & See You in January! 🎁✨👋

[00:51:32] Bruce Anthony: Woo. That was a hell of a show. [00:51:35] Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, [00:51:40] don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our [00:51:45] podcast. Wherever you're listening or watching it to it, pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that [00:51:50] means the people that you rock, we'll enjoy it also.

So share the wealth, share the knowledge, [00:51:55] share the noise. For all those people that say, well, I don't have a YouTube. If you [00:52:00] have a Gmail account, you have a YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can actually watch our video [00:52:05] podcast and YouTube exclusive content. But the real party is on our Patreon [00:52:10] page after Hours Uncensored and talking straight ish after Hours.

Uncensored is another show with my [00:52:15] sister, and once again, the key word there is uncensored. Those are exclusively on our [00:52:20] Patreon page. Jump onto our website@unsolicitedperspective.com for [00:52:25] all things us. That's where you can get all of our audio video, our blogs. And even buy our [00:52:30] merch. And if you really feel generous and want to help us out, you can donate on our [00:52:35] donations page.

Donations go strictly to improving our software and hardware so we can [00:52:40] keep giving you guys good content that you can clearly listen to and that you can clearly [00:52:45] see. So any donation would be appreciative. Most importantly, I wanna say thank [00:52:50] you, thank you, thank you for listening and watching and supporting us, [00:52:55] and I'll catch you next time.

Audi 5,000 [00:53:00] Peace.