[00:00:00]

Why Do We Do What We Do? Kickoff & Big Questions 🎙️🤔

Bruce Anthony: Why do we do the things that we do? Are we leaders, followers, or both? We're gonna get into it. Let's get it.

Bruce Anthony: Welcome,

Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥💥

Bruce Anthony: first of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony. Here to lead the conversation and important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation or follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content rate review.

Like, comment, share, share with your friends, share with your family, hell you even share with your enemies. On today's episode, I'm gonna be dilly daddling a little bit. Then I'm gonna be talking about pioneers in the women's liberation movement, and then I'm gonna be telling a personal story about Karma.

God, but that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the [00:01:00] show.

Inside My Mind: Laughter, Tears & Living Fully Every Day 🧠😂😭

Bruce Anthony: This first segment, follow me. You are going to think that I'm rambling, but I'm going to bring it all to a point. I'm gonna cover a wide variety of different topics, uh, start different discussions in this first segment, but it's all leading to a point. So just flow with me here as I give you guys insight into how my mind works.

I mean, if you watch the show, you listen to the show, you know a little bit about how I think, but I'm about to give you guys true insight into how my mind works and how things fire off in my brain and how I just think about stuff and. I often steal the words from Jim Valvano, who was a legendary coach for NC State Basketball.

He won a national championship in 1983 and he passed away from cancer. And [00:02:00] ESPN always does the Jimmy V Foundation. Jimmy Valvano, because he gave this great speech where he won this award. And he said thing, he said this thing that really, really stuck with me and, and I carry it on all of my life. And he said, if you s laugh, cry and sit in thought in one day, that's a full day because it's a wide range of emotions and you've lived a full, full day.

So I try to live that every single day. Now I sit and thought. Whether I want to or not, just because my mind is constantly racing. I sit in a thought every day. I laugh every single day, and it's a part of my personality. I'm never gonna lose my humor. I can find just about, I can find something funny and just about almost anything.

There's some stuff you just, there's no funny in that. Now, the cry thing, I don't cry every day, but I cry more than most people. [00:03:00] Most men, I'll say most men, there are some men. I know Matt Barnes said on his podcast all the smoke that, you know, he hasn't cried for 20 something years. And I was like, well, I don't know what that's like.

I cry almost every Sunday. And why do I cry on every Sunday? Things move me to tears, the tears of happiness, to tears of joy. I am just an emotional person. I come, I get it, honestly. Because all the men in my family are super emotional. I've seen my grandfathers cry. I've seen my father cry. I've seen my uncles cry.

I've seen one of the toughest men that I've ever met in my entire life. My big cousin who's like my big brother cry. And he's tough. He's tough. Tough, right? He's street tough. So there's never been some lack of masculinity for crying. I've cried over losses of basketball games. Uh, I've cried over, you know, emotional moments that, you know, that are happy moments.

I cry and I'm touched often by stuff that I see on tv. Look, let me watch a, [00:04:00] let me sit up there and watch a law and order. SVU I'm going to be touched emotionally. So sit and thought, laugh, cry every day.

Seeing Life In Patterns :Looking at Life's Twists & Turns 🔄🔮

Bruce Anthony: Why am I bringing this up? Okay, I told you guys, I was gonna give you insight in my mind. You know how some people are audio learners or visual learners.

I'm definitely a visual learner. Um, that's just who I am. You can explain something to me and I'll, I'll get it. You know, I can read something and I'll get it, but if you show it to me, I have it. And my mind works in patterns. I figured this out very early. One of my teachers told me this. She was like, your mind works in patterns and it had to be eighth or ninth grade where you would show me sequences and I would immediately be able to figure out what the answer is, no matter what the subject was.

Whether it was, you know, English, right? Figuring out subject of predic, predicate, the nouns and the verbs. There's all patterns. Math, math is nothing but patterns. [00:05:00] One of the reasons why I love history is 'cause history is a succession of patterns. My ex-wife, I told you I was gonna go all over the place.

Don't worry. I'm going to bring it to a point at the end of this segment. Just follow with me, my ex-wife. Used to love it and hate it. When she would've asked me for advice, it got to the point where she stopped asking me for advice because I was always right. And, and, and this isn't to say that I'm smarter than everybody.

I'm not. I've said it over and over again. I do believe that I have above average inte intelligence, but I like to keep people who are smarter than me around me so that I can always learn and grow. I just have a different way of looking at certain situations and it's all patterns. So she would have trouble at work and she would tell me the story, and I would just listen because I knew that sometimes she just needed to vent and I didn't always have to give my opinion.

I didn't always have to be [00:06:00] right. Uh. So I, I didn't have to give my opinion, I would just listen. But she could tell because she knew me. She could tell I had something to say that I wasn't saying it outta respect for the fact that I knew that she just wanted somebody to listen to her. And she would say, go ahead.

I know you have something to say. And I was like, no, no, no, no, I'm, I'm just listening to you. She was like, I know you know what the best course of action is. I could see it in your face. You're always right. Just tell me what's gonna happen. And I said, okay, these are gonna be the sequence of events of what's going to happen if these things happen, if this happens, this is gonna end up like this.

If this happens, it's gonna end up like this. And I was always right. And she was like, how do you see, how do you know that? And I was like, well, one childhood trauma, I need to be keenly aware of all of my surroundings. You know, that's, that hypersensitivity is childhood trauma. I have hypersensitivity of everything that surround me.

And things show up in patterns. You know, people are gonna respond a certain way. Based on the history [00:07:00] of how they responded to certain situations, the situation might change, the parameters of the situation might change, but the overall situation is still the same. So you could tell how people are going to respond.

So I'm really good at looking at the situation, examining it, and knowing how things are going to turn out. Lemme give you a prime example. I got into a heated debate with a really, he was, he's still, we've had our differences, but he's still a brother to me. We had a difference of opinion about Black Lives Matter, not about the movement.

Not about the movement at all, about the wording of it. I said, it should be called Black Lives Matter also. I said, just put that little word in there also. He's like, no, you don't need to put that word in there. I said, no, you need to put that word in there also. I was like, because when you put also in there, it doesn't exclude anybody.

And it puts an emphasis on the fact that [00:08:00] the pur, the, the purpose of this movement is to show you how a specific group is being excluded. So when you say Black Lives Matter also is not saying that other lives don't matter, it's just saying, you know, these lives matter also and y'all are not paying attention to it.

He vehemently, degreed disagreed with me. My sister vehemently disagreed against, uh, with me on that. The reason why I said that is because when you put also, there is no way for an opposing group to try to say, well, you're excluding us because I, I, I saw that, I foresaw that happening. Why did I see that happening?

'cause every movement is like that.

History on Repeat: Civil Rights, Progress & Pushback 🕰️✊

Bruce Anthony: Let me take you back to the sixties. I told y'all I was gonna go all over the place, but don't worry, I'm going to bring it all around and make my point. Lemme take you back to the sixties. The sixties were a monumental time for civil rights. Now people think the Civil rights [00:09:00] movement is solely about black people and Martin Luther King and the student and SNC, the Student Nonviolent Organization, all these organizations were absolutely black and they were absolutely fighting for the rights of black people.

What's in that Civil rights bill that Lyndon Baines Johnson passed is a deri. Is that No jobs? No. Nobody could discriminate on race, gender, and sex. That's what often for is forgotten in the Civil Rights Movement, is that the Civil Rights movement, though, led by black people, wasn't solely for black people.

It was for women. And whether or not you believe it, it wasn't the intention. I don't believe, uh, Martin Luther King and the Nonviolent Organization, but it was also for the lgbtq plus community. This is what I mean by [00:10:00] that. So when you say that you could not be excluded from a job place of employment, things of that for race, gender, and sex, that meant that women were now allowed to start applying for jobs that had been traditionally held by men.

However, after the Civil Rights Amendment was passed, women still found that they were being persecuted against and being told that they could not have men jobs, they could be stewardess, and that's what they called them at that time, not flight attendants, stewardess, I'm, I'm speaking specifically for that time period, stewardess, teachers, nurses, maids, things like that.

They couldn't work in the auto factories in Detroit, in Ohio because the people that were hiring were saying that they were men jobs. So the Women's Liberation Movement sought to make sure that the Civil Rights Act was [00:11:00] properly enforced because it had not been enforced for them. You also see a rise of lgbtq plus activism.

Now, I tell you, I, I said it all the time. I cannot be an ally of marginalized people, being marginalized myself and not support everybody. That means supporting the lgbtq plus community. Mind you, I am not part of that community, but that does not mean that I cannot be an ally of that community. There are white people who are allies of black rights and black movement.

Jewish. The Jewish population was a huge, had a huge involvement in the civil rights movement because they had seen what can happen. What did happen in Germany, they had seen persecution and segregation. They seen it [00:12:00] and they came here and they were like, Hey, I've seen this before. Right? So I, as a marginalized people have to be an ally for everybody who's marginalized.

That means indigenous folks. That means migrants, that means the lgbtq, lgbtq plus community. Excuse me. What was their movement? Do you realize that during the sixties in the South, you could be arrested for being gay? It was literally in the psychological books that it was a psychological, um, issue. That they were the, it was the same as being pi bipolar.

These were things that they were fighting for. Now, why am I bringing all of this up? Let's go back to the fact that I think in patterns, if you look at the fights for rights during the sixties, fast forward, not more than 60 years later, we're fighting for the same things all over [00:13:00] again. Not quite laws that are segregating, but this administration is trying to, history repeats itself.

That's the reason why people don't want to be taught history. It's the reason why that I, I'm always on here talking about this is what's going to happen. I knew with the election of Barack Obama that there was gonna be pushback. How do I know this? Because during the Civil Rights movement, as we are moving the country forward to accepting everybody, that was the beginning of the conservative movement.

It was the absolute beginning of the conservative movement. Okay. It was a beginning of Republicans moving to the extreme right. That's kind of what happens when you make progress for a certain group of people. Other people feel threatened. They say, well, this is not the, this is not my way of life. This is not the country I know.

No, this is the country that you've been turning a blind eye to. It's [00:14:00] been there the whole time. You didn't want to acknowledge it. And guess what? You don't have to look at it. You don't have to acknowledge it if you don't want to, but you do have to respect it because marginalized people had the right to exist just like you do.

So I knew what the election of Barack Obama, there was going to be a huge TAL wave in another direction. I didn't know it was gonna be this bad. I mean, I could have, I knew it was gonna be bad, but not this bad. It's almost like people have lost their common sense. But honestly, I. Go back and watch the videos of the sixties, go back and watch the vitriol and the hatred that people had for other people just trying to exist.

Just to have the same freedoms as them just to be able to live where they wanted to live. Shop where they wanted to shop, go to the bathroom where they wanted to go to the bathroom, drink wherever they wanted to drink, just to exist. We see the same things happen here. My mind [00:15:00] works in patterns. Okay? So yes, as you have a rise of progression, you're going to have a rise of opposition.

The people in power are gonna always rise against progression as evident of everything that you see in the sixties. But I say all that to say this. Once again, I think in patterns, don't be alarmed. I. I see a lot of people out there saying, this is the end of times it's not. We've seen times that are even worse than this.

Just like, go back to the sixties. The sixties was an incredible freak of decade. I mean, an assassination of important figures, movements all over the place. Counter movements. We're in a, in a war that's raging outta control, right? The sixties were crazy. The people that grew up in the sixties were growing up in a difficult time.

The people that grew up in the seventies growing up in a difficult time, the [00:16:00] eighties, the nineties, like no matter what decade you, you in each generation has their own plight that they're going through. I say all of this to say, once again, I, I, I look at things in patterns and I don't want people to be disillusioned because as hate rises, it becomes to a breaking point, and then there's love.

And then the love will come and they'll get to a breaking point. And then there's hate and love and hate and love. It's the balance. It's like the force and Star Wars, right? It's the balance between the light and dark. There's gotta be balance. Whenever there's imbalance, it's gotta even itself out.

There's never, we're never gonna get to the point where we're all lovey-dovey and there is no hate. Sorry. Where there is differences, there are always gonna be hate. That's human nature. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that's just the way it's going to be. And there's always going to balance [00:17:00] itself out.

When there is a balance, when there is so much progression is being made, the things have to balance itself out. There'll be a counter to that progression to try and even things out to balance out where the balance ends. I don't know. I don't know where the happy medium is because there is no pattern that I see where there's a happy medium.

I mean, even in Germany right now, you see a rise of the right. I mean, it took 60 years, 80 years, but you're seeing a, a segment of the population being extreme right, where they had suppressed it for so long. Uh, that's just how these things kind of work. I think that you must be strong in your convictions.

You must be strong in your ideals. You must research, do true research, TikTok, Instagram, all these things are not gonna give you the answers. History will [00:18:00] give you the answers, answers to what's going on now, and then read, read credible sources to find out what's going on, and then have a formulated opinion even if you are getting information from a trusted source.

Still research your own. Come up with your own opinion. Don't take the opinions of others to formulate your own opinion. You could take a grouping of opinions to formulate your opinion, but don't take the opinions of others and then adopt that. And then that's your opinion. Think for yourself. Don't assimilate, don't conform.

Be authentically yourself. And so that's the whole purpose of this first segment. It is literally the purpose of this entire podcast. I interview people, I talk to people, I have conversations with my sister because I am personally continuously going through an evolution to find my authentic self. And you should [00:19:00] be doing the same thing authentically.

I'm a person who thinks in patterns, and I've seen this all before. I know most of the time how things are gonna play out because I've seen it before. And I could tell you. There's always gonna be some good, there's gonna be some bad. You gotta keep your head above water, not get too high, not get too low.

Realize that there's always work to be done and never give up. And that work just isn't on people outside. It's also within be a thinker. Sit in thought, laugh, cry every day. Live every day. That's what it's all about.

Bruce Anthony: Now, I know that first segment. Everybody's gonna be like, Bruce, that was real selfless. So what were you [00:20:00] trying to say? You're smarter than everybody. No. If that's what you got from that first segment, that's not the point I was trying to make. And if I, I didn't make that clear. The point I was trying to make is be authentically you, but try to find out who that authentic person is.

Don't let anybody else tell you what that authentic person is. Find it for yourself. You have to find self. And I've made two comments specifically that's important in finding yourself, not assimilating and not conforming. Because when you do, you become complacent. And a person that is influencing the status quo and the status quo could be detrimental to other people.

Don't Blend In: The Magic of Non-Conformity & Standing Out 🚀🌈

Bruce Anthony: What do I mean by not conforming and not being, and not assimilating some of the best things that ever been discovered or invented here in America? Have been from people who didn't conform and assimilate. What do I mean by that? If you think of Italian food, you think of Mexican food, it's become Americanized.

But the basic premise is [00:21:00] people from Italy, Mexico, from other countries bring their cuisine here and give us a piece of who they are. They are a piece of what their culture is. You have inventors who've invented incredible things that didn't assimilate and didn't conform and invented stuff that we still use today.

That's important. If they assimilated and conform, we'd be missing on these great inventions. I'm going to get to the women's movement. It's all leading to non-conformity and not assimilating, but I want to talk about some really cool inventors of our past. Let's go to Nicola Toast Te Tesla. Nicola Tesla, and I don't know what I said the first time, but it wasn't that.

So Tesla has a bad name because of the person running it. And some of the things that he's done in the, in the government don't correlate the company. Tesla with the inventor. The inventor was born in Serbia, migrated here in the [00:22:00] United States. It became a key failure figure in the development of the AC electrical systems.

It's the reason why we got AC up in this piece. It's hot, especially in the summertime in DC It's hot. It's so hot. If I didn't have ac, I'd fight every day. I don't like being hot. Being hot is the worst thing in the world to me. I can bundle up when it's cold and make myself warmer. It's no way in the hell you can make yourself cooler.

You just can't unless you got some ac. And he was an a inventor of that. Why is he important? Because at no time did he conform or assimilate to American society. He held true to his roots. Alexander Graham Bell, we all know about this. Scotsman who invented the telephone in Boston, he also had strong ties to his Scottish heritage that he never gave up.

They were, gave him his unique V views and uncon unconventional approaches to sometimes set him apart from mainstream American culture. But think about it. If he didn't invent the telephone, how the hell we gonna [00:23:00] talk to everybody? How the hell we gonna text? You can't text without our telephone. Well, actually you can if you got a iMac.

But you know the point I'm trying to get at? What about David Lindquist? Y'all don't know him. He was a Swedish immigrant who developed and patent key improvements to the electric elevator. Think about if we didn't have him, we walking up those stairs. But he maintained his distinct cultural identity of being a sw, a Swedish person.

He didn't assimilate or conform. And these are people that created. Things that we still use today. I live on the fifth floor so I can walk up the stairs, but my building goes up always all, all the way to 16 floors, right? Sometimes as a workout I'll do the stairs and lemme tell you, that's a workout.

Remember at good Times the elevator was broken and they had to work, walk up on all those stairs. That sucks. I'm glad that he invented the elevator. Now, what are some ways that, uh, you could invent things and not assimilate and conform because your [00:24:00] identity doesn't allow you to assimilate and conform?

'cause society says that no matter what you do, you can't assimilate and conform. You'll always be looked at as other. Let's talk about black inventors. Grandville T Woods. Y'all don't know about him. He was known as the Black Edison Woods held over 50 patents for railway technology and electrical devices.

Despite his achievement, he spent much of his life in resources defending his work from legal challenges by white inventors, including Thomas Edison. Funny that he was called a black Edison Thomas Edison, and struggled to pr, uh, profit from his avens due to systematic racism. Louis Lier, born to former enslaved pet parents.

Lier invented the carbon fulfillment for the light bulb and worked with Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Edison, even though they stole his stuff and he couldn't get any credit because of the racial barriers. You [00:25:00] got Garrett Morgan. I've talked about him before, but he was the inventor of the traffic light and the gas mask.

Now, y'all might be saying to yourself, why is the traffic light important? Y'all know how bad people drive. Think of there was no traffic lights telling them when to stop. Slow down and go. That's important. The pur. The purpose of this segment is to talk about non-conformity, non assimilation, and how that brings about change, which brings me to the feature person.

Revolution in Heels: The Women's Liberation Movement Unleashed 👠🔥

Bruce Anthony: The Women's Liberation Movement in the 1960s is very important. I'm not gonna compare movements. I'm not gonna compare black rights movements to women's right mu movements, to LGBTQ plus movements. They are all extremely important. All marginalized people, all people held back, okay? All had laws that were against them.

Gloria Steinem. To [00:26:00] me is the most important woman in the 1960s Women Liberation Movement. Who is she? She was an American journalist, writer, and one of the most influential leaders of the Women's Liberation Movement, particularly active from the 1960s through the seventies. She co-founded, check This out now.

She co-founded the New York magazine and later Miss Magazine, the first major feminist magazine run by and for women. So people are like, so what's that big deal? Women have magazines all the time. No, they did not. And they didn't have magazines that catered to them. She not only co-founded the New York magazine, but also Miss Magazine, hell of a Woman.

But why do I feel like outside of that, she's really important? Because men back then, and still today, very toxic. Very, very misogynist feel like they could treat women any other type of way. And one areas where this was happening was the Playboy Bunny [00:27:00] Club. This was a club in New York City's, and she went undercover and wrote an article about it.

So in 1963, Stein went undercover as a Playboy bunny at the New York Playboy Club for the show magazine. Using the alias as Mary Ocho, her two-part expose of Bunny's Tale revealed the exploitative and demeaning working conditions faced by bunnies, low pay, mandatory physical enhancements like stuffing their costumes, strict, strict rules, Sexual objectification, harassment, and even threats of violence. The story provided a rare inside. Look at the reality behind the Playboy Club's glamorous image exposing the misogyny and the labor abuses that were otherwise hidden from public view. So people think about this and, and I guess the, the easiest thing that we would have to compare this to now would be Hooters.

I mean, in and of itself, that's just misogynist as hell. 'cause [00:28:00] there wouldn't be a place called a plants wood there. And y'all know exactly what I'm talking about called a plants. Uh, there wouldn't be a place called eggplant. There's never been a restaurant called that. I believe that that would be a hit.

Especially if you had brunch, eggplant, eggplant brunch. Women would be going there all, not just women. Men would be going there all the time. Okay. I just came up with a great idea. I. I have it timestamped. I know when it was. If all of a sudden there's a restaurant called Eggplant, y'all are giving me some royalties for that.

'cause that is my idea. But you look at some of the things, and remember this is 1960s. I always go back to the point of the movie, back to the Future, Biff was a villain at the highest order. And you think about it, it's a comedy family movie, but Biff was literally trying to sexually assault Marty Mc Fly's mother, while his boy was, was about to commit murder [00:29:00] on Marty McFly.

They had tried to kill him several times. They tried to run him over when he was on his bike. And it was described then as boys Will Be Boys. That's the reason why the Me Too movement was so important, because here we are 50 years later, 50, 60 years later, right, and women were still being subjected to some of these same harsh treatments.

So this was very, very important what Gloria Steinem did by exposing the Bunning Club 'cause it brought it out to the world. Okay. Steinem's reporting was groundbreaking because she used immersive undercover journalism. A method that widely employed was not widely employed by women at the time to challenge powerful cultural institutions.

The expose made her a target for ridicule and professional backlash, but it also established her as a fearless investigative journalist willing to confront sexism directly. Now think about this. She's writing an article [00:30:00] basically showing the mistreatment of women in the workplace. Now, the counter argument, remember I told you I think a pattern.

Pattern. So here's a counter argument. People are gonna say, well, the women don't have to work there. If they don't want the, if they don't want to go back to the time, right? Where could women work? They could be nurses, they could be teachers, which you had to go to school for. Okay. You could be maids. You could be stewardesses.

And oh, by the way, they had rules in the airlines being a stewardess steward. Hmm. Stewardess. I'm having trouble talking today, but y'all know what I'm trying to say. A stewardess at the age of 32, they were fired. You had to maintain an attractive level. First of all, you had to be attractive to be a stewardess.

And the purpose of that was it was to make sure that the men wanted to come on the airlines. And airlines actually fought against the lawsuits of women that were terminated after they turned 32. By saying that if they didn't [00:31:00] have attractive women, if they didn't have young, attractive women, then men wouldn't wanna fly on the planes.

That was their legitimate legal argument in 1963. So when those people say, well, they didn't have to work there. Where the hell else were, they were, were these type of women allowed to work where they weren't going to be objectified, persecuted, and threats of violence? You have Gloria Steinem who write this expose, exposing the truth, saying, Hey, these people are being mis lit, mis mistreated.

These are illegal things that are happening to them. Everybody needs to know about that. And she's attacked and ridiculed. People hate being exposed for who they are. They hate it. Think about what they called Martin Luther King when he was out there. Oh, he's praised now. You know, I love going to his, uh, memorial here in Washington, DC Oh, he is praised.

Now, during that time, go back and read newspaper articles, go back and watch, um, news [00:32:00] reports and interviews from people outside talking about Martin Luther King. He was one of the most hated men in America, and he called him a socialist communist, most hated man praise now, because what he was doing was right.

Gloria Steinem, what she was doing was right. Hated at the time. Praise Now. So. History, right? Patterns. Just the whole point I'm trying to make is that you can see what's going to happen when progression rises, the power goes against it and, and she had to deal with all of that, but she didn't care. Her works, her work unmasked.

The contradiction of the Playboy clubs being celebrated as symbols as sexual liberation was actually perpetrating the exploitation of women. They weren't sexually liberating for women. And you know what? To his credit, Hugh Hefner took that and made changes to the Playboy Bunny Club, but it [00:33:00] had to be thrown in his face or made aware.

Hugh Hefner has his. Hmm, nobody's clean. What I mean by that is even people who are righteous in some of their ideologies have contradictions. So if you look at the history of Hugh Hefner, he made a lot of civil rights. He was an advocate for civil rights for certain groups, is the point I'm trying to make.

And so that's the reason why I say that I can't be marginalized person and not be an ally for all marginalized people. I can't just say, well, I'm just an ally for these people and not those people because I begin to contradict myself. And though Hugh Hefner definitely made strides in being an ally for civil rights and did make this change when it was brought to his attention, he also has some iffy stuff in his past.

Right.

Gloria Steinem: The Fearless Trailblazer Who Changed Everything 👑✊

Bruce Anthony: Um, why [00:34:00] do I love Gloria Steinem so much? Because. And once again, patterns, a lot of time, women's liberation movements and the activists were labeled as to kind of discredit them lesbians, whether they were not attractive or attractive to mass appeal. Right? Listen to the words I'm saying, and these are not my thoughts.

These are the thoughts of the people at the time that were going against them. And here you have Gloria Steinem, this beautiful, smart, outspoken, attractive woman fighting for women's rights. Not to say that she was the first, she's not. There were a, a lot of attractive women who were not gay fighting for women's rights.

I, I got a person that I know and [00:35:00] this person is such an idiot. They really are. Sometimes they say things and I'm just like, what's going on in your head? And we were watching WNBA highlights, and that person turns to me and says, you know, they're all gay, right? And I said, well, that's a real generalized statement to make.

We know it's true though. I've seen it. You've seen it where you've seen it around. It's just a dumb argument. When you make generalizations like that, it's meant to discredit them for who they are. In other words, because they play basketball, they must therefore be lesbians because they're not girly enough for you.

Legacy in Action: How Gloria Steinem Broke the Mold 🌟📢

Bruce Anthony: This is the reason why Gloria Steinem was so very, very important. She was the stereotypical girly woman. And I'm using these terms to describe how her, the people that opposed her would describe her. This was a woman and every sense of the word, a feminine by those [00:36:00] archaic standards. Woman who was speaking out in support of women, it was very, very important combining her journalistic skills with her activism, using her mass appeal to reach wider audience, rather than focus solely on academic or grassroots activism.

She was media savvy. Charismatic used their public profile to bring feminist issues into mainstream discourse, making feminism accessible and visible to the general public. Her undercover work and willingness to use her personal experience as a tool for social critique set her apart from many of her contemporaries, which often relied on theory or collective action alone.

Steinem's approach was intersectional before the term was widely used, supporting not only women's rights, but also issues of race, labor, and sexuality.

My Dream Woman: Why Gloria Steinem Inspires Me ❤️🙌

Bruce Anthony: Look, this woman was bad as hell, but, okay, so y'all can, y'all can. [00:37:00] Hate me for this. I'm okay. I'm willing to take that hit. This is like my ideal woman. I swear.

I love a strong, independent woman that stands up for herself and is not willing to go into the fire for the defense of herself. That is literally my prototype of my dream woman. Now I'm making it about how I, uh, she's appealing to me as in a dating term, but I respect her. That's the most important. I respect her work, her intelligence, and what she has done to further better women.

Not only was she the co-founder of Miss Magazine, which I already talked about, she revolutionized media coverage of women's issues and provided a platform for feminist voices. She helped establish a national Women's Political Caucus, the correlation of Labor Union Women, women's Actions Alliance, women's Media Center, and Miss Foundation for Women.

She [00:38:00] supported and led votes for Choice women against pornography and Choice USA. Not only that, she was an advocate for reproductive rights, including publicly speaking about her own abortion in 1969, which helped break taboos and advanced movement for abortion rights. She mobilized women in politics, increased the participation and representation, raise money, MA raise millions for women's rights organizations and clauses, including equality Now.

She authored in influential books and essays, such as Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellion Revolution from Within and the satirical essay. If Men Could Menstruate, which changed gender norms and societals power structures. She served as a prominent lecturer and media spokesman bringing feminist ideas to broad audience audiences.

She, Rene, she, she received numerous honors, including the Presidential Medal of Freeman, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and inducted to the National Women's Hall of Fame. [00:39:00] She continued to inspire activism and dialogue around equality, social justice, and ongoing f women's rights. I'm telling you, man, she was a bad man, ma jamma, bad man, ma jamma, and it's important not assimilating, not conforming, not saying, not staying in the status quo when it's not right.

It's all about being authentically yourself, not being force fed what you should believe, but figuring out what you think is morally right. And we all know what's morally right. We fill it in our bones. I'm not talking about the things that we agree or disagree with. We know what's right. What's right is everybody should have the right to be who they are.

And it's these people who don't assimilate or conform that show you, hey, just be who you are. 'cause who you are is beautiful. [00:40:00] And it's true. Who you are is beautiful. I like you. Some of you, I don't like all of y'all. Some of y'all are some hateful bastards, but I like the majority of you. I mean I do. And Gloria Steinem is a prime example of why I do this show.

I don't assimilate. I don't conform. I don't want you to assimilate or conform. I don't want you to believe everything that I believe. I don't you, I don't want you to agree with everything that I agree with. I don't wanna be right. I wanna be correct. I want you to want to want to be correct. That's a part of growth.

Looking at a situation, realizing that might be good for you, but it's bad for other people. And try and rectify that. Isn't that how we should all live? Shouldn't we aspire to be people of change and not stay the same? Just food for thought.

[00:41:00]

Bruce Anthony: a lot of people I've, I've passingly given glimpse of this super toxic relationship that I was once in. And people have made comments, dmd me and said, when are you going to tell the story of this toxic relationship that you were in? And I was like, uh, that's, that's deeply personal. And if I tell the story, there are people that will, will know who it's about.

The story might get back to them. They might have, you know, some issues with it. And then I thought to myself, as long as I don't say my, say their name, say her name, um, I'm in the clear legally so I could kind of tell the story and it was a toxic relationship, not solely because of her, also because of me.

So let's talk about my toxic.

Toxic Beginnings: The Relationship Story You've Been Waiting For 💔🚩

Bruce Anthony: My toxic was, and I've stated before that I hadn't been faithful. Like I wasn't, I wasn't a [00:42:00] faithful cat. I met this young woman when I was 23 years old. We were in a three year relationship off and on the most toxic relationship I've ever been in in my entire life. And. It started off toxic.

I met her at a club. Um, I was in the VIP section 'cause I knew somebody that worked at the club. So I was in the VIP section hanging out with all the football players, all the NFL players, NBA players. They thought I was somebody 'cause I was up there, I was not, had my own little section with my boys. We was drinking Heineken's.

We didn't even have a bottle 'cause we couldn't afford a bottle 'cause I wasn't one of 'em people. But, um, just chilling there. And funny story, my orthodontist assistant, because I've had braces twice in my life. Once when I was 13 and 14. And then again when I was 17 to 18, it's, it was my orthodontist assistant when I was 17 to 18.

And they were all like, I'm 17, 18, right. They were all college women that were the, you know, uh, orthodontist assistants. They were all college [00:43:00] age. Um, and they would always comment about how cute I was and stuff like that. But I was under age for most of the time that I was there. Now I'm 23 years old, so it's been five years.

And she's there because one of the bartenders was also one of my former Orthodox assistant. So she's there to see her friend and I'm finally of age so she can finally make that move. And, and she does. And she is all on me kissing on me on the club, uh, and everything. And then I see this young woman who I eventually would date for three years.

And I tapped my boy on the shoulder and I was like, I gotta talk to this girl. She was stunningly beautiful. And I walk up to her and I was like, with my old fake suave self, said, Hey, you know, we got a table up here, you know, why don't you, you know, stop by and hang out, you know, have a drink with us. She was with a couple of, uh, women, uh, that I later found out were her best friends.

And she was like, okay. And when she comes up there, literally the orthodontist's assistant is kissing all up on me. And I'm [00:44:00] eyeballing her. And I and I, I said to her, I'm just like, Hey, you know, this ain't no big thing. This is my orthodontist assistant. She says to me, that's such an incredible story. That can't be a lie.

Anyway, we exchange numbers and we start to date and eventually we get into a relationship. And this was a toxic time for me because I probably hadn't dealt with, and I told y'all the story of me being cheated on and the relationship prior, I had not fully dealt with that. So I had some real insecurities going into this relationship.

And the person I was dating, she had some real insecurities just in life in general. So we're two toxic young people that have not dealt with their insecurities trying to enter into this relationship. And this was legitimately my first real relationship where parents, we met parents and the whole, now we even talked about moving in together and I tried hard.

I tried hard not to cheat. I really did. And for a good, [00:45:00] I don't know, six, seven months, I didn't. And y'all are saying to yourself, that's not a big deal for me at that time.

When Love Turns Sour: The Downfall of a Toxic Relationship 🕳️😱

Bruce Anthony: That absolutely was what broke my back was, uh, my sister needed to borrow the car to go to school and I would routinely, when I didn't need my car, routinely let my sister borrow the car to go to school.

It just so happens that one day my sister needed to borrow the car, was the same day as my girlfriend's birthday. Now mind you, my sister just needed the car and would be done by noon, 10, 10 30, 11 noon. Around that time. My girlfriend at the time worked in the restaurant industry. She's not getting up before noon, but she was adamant that she wanted me to spend the night so that she could wake up with me right next to her on her birthday.

And I said, that's not gonna be possible 'cause my sister needs to borrow my car for school. So I'll be here before you wake up. But I'm not going to be able to spend the night. [00:46:00] And the woman said, well, why can't your sister just take the bus? Mind you, it's like two different buses to take. I was like, no, I'm not gonna make my sister take the bus.

She's got, that's a whole day. She just borrowed my car. This was a fight going back and forth that broke my heart. And because she was trying to make me choose between her and my sister, and I didn't like the position that she put me in. I looked out for my sister, because that's what I do. Met up with her later on before she even woke up.

I was there for her birthday, took her, had did everything that she wanted to do for her birthday. She was spoiled rotten, right? Um, not like she came from money. She didn't come from money, but she liked money. Spoiled her rotten. I had it because I was working in the restaurant industry and I, and I had dough then made the day all about her.

Next day I come to her with tears in my eyes. Said, I gotta break up with you. She's like, what? I don't understand. We just had this great day. Yeah. You made me choose between me and my sister. I was not gonna ruin your birthday, [00:47:00] but I can't be with you anymore. She was crying, said, I didn't, you know? Yes.

That was selfish of me. I was wrong. I'm sorry. Please don't break up with me. And I, I took that, sorry. I did, but I never forgave her for making me make the choice. So I started to cheat. So that was my toxic thing. I hadn't dealt with the fact that, you know, I had some issues about the prior girl cheating on me, and she made me, you know, choose between me and my sister.

And I never forgave her. What I should have done was just said, nah, at the very least, we need to take a break. But I used it as, Hey, I got a girlfriend that I do actually care about, but now I'm gonna go play. And ladies and gentlemen, I did, she never found out about anything, or at least never confronted me on anything.

Two years later, we get into it. Things are just bad. I'm cheating all the time. She doesn't know it. I'm working all the time. We're hardly spending any time together. We get like two days a [00:48:00] week at together, and most of the time I'm canceling on her with one of those days because I'm hungover. And Sunday was usually our day and she was like, Hey, um, call me in the morning.

What do you want to do today? And I was like, I don't know, I'm hungover right now. She was like, are you canceling on me again? Because it was like, I don't know, seven or eight Sundays in a row that I canceled on her. She was like, yeah, I, I was like, yeah, I, I'm not, I'm not feeling good. I'm hungover. She was like, okay, all right then I guess I'll talk to you later.

And I hung the phone. I called her back and I was like, yo, we should break up. Like this is obviously an issue we should break up. And she was like, yeah, you're right. We should. So we did.

Stuck in the Gray: Surviving a Situationship Saga 😬🔄

Bruce Anthony: Lemme tell you how toxic we were. Her birthday comes around again, not soon after we break up. I'm a manager at a international restaurant Hard Rock Cafe, and she's like, Hey, what are we doing for my bir for my birthday?

And I was like, what are you talking about? Like, I'm working that day. Why are you working that day? Why [00:49:00] am I not working that day? Why am I, we're we're broken up. Like, why, why would I not be working that day? I don't understand. It's my birthday. We are broken up. Like, I don't understand what you don't get.

She goes on and on. She gets into this, not a tirade, but a, a hissy fit. And I'm like, you know what? Fine, I'll, I will find somebody to cover my shift. I will take the day off and I will take you out for your birthday even though you are not my girlfriend. We not even friends at this point. We haven't been kicking it or nothing.

We might chit chat every once in a while, but we are clearly, we are not together. But I gotta take you out for your birthday. And I spent dough. We went to Ruth Chris, I'm 25 years old. Okay. I take her to Ruth Chris. It was like a $300 bill. We ordering wine bottles, we got all the hors d'oeuvres, all the sides, everything for her birthday for a woman that's not my girlfriend.

Well, we kind of entered in this gray area where we weren't together, but we were [00:50:00] together. Y'all know what I meant. Right now they call it a situationship. That's what we were in. We were in a situationship for a good year. And we would go back and forth. Actually, no, we would never go back and forth. She would always be like, we should be together.

And I also, I would always be like, I. In my head why? I've got a good situation where you go out on dates, but yet you still come back to me each night. You don't hook up with any other guys. You just go out on, they take you out on dates, but you still come to me and I can date and do whatever the hell I wanna do.

Why would I give that up? Till one day I was a bartender at a Irish bar and there was this naval captain and he was a smooth dude and he always had women around. He always had a court around him of just people around him and women around him. And I lowkey admired this person just because of who he was, what he had done in his life, the things that he had done in his life and who he was in his golden years.

[00:51:00] 'cause he was like 50, 55, 60 to a 25-year-old kid. That's a, that's a big difference. You're old. And so I was telling him the story about my situation with me and, and, and the girl. And you know how we was in the situationship and you know how I was treating her and I wasn't treating her well. I wasn't treating her well at that time.

I don't even know why she wanted to be with me. Um, and I was toxic. I was not treating her well. And he was like, no, you can't do that if you love her. He was like, do you love her? And I was like, yeah, I got love for her. Yeah, I love her. I mean, I got love for her. He was like, if you love her, then you treat her with respect.

The person that you love. You're supposed to be kind and you don't want them to hurt. And something that he said resonated at 26 years old, I had a man who was a ladies' man, not a bad ladies' man. He just never treated women with disrespect. He was always honest with them. And he was like, just, this is the way that you're supposed to be.

And I was like, yeah, you're right. This is the way that I'm supposed to be. So I called her that night [00:52:00] and I said, I want to try and work things out. And she was like, I don't know. I've been talking about this for a long time and I just don't think that we're supposed to be together. And I was like, no, no, no, no.

We're supposed, I, I'm changed. I'm different. Let's, let's try and work this out. Let me tell you how toxic we both were. I said, why don't you come over? I'll cook a special dinner for you. So I do, I went and got some lobster tails. I made, uh, stuffed chicken with crab meat. Um, and I, I told her what the menu was.

She said it was gonna be lobster tails, appetizer, stuffed, uh, chicken with, with lobster or crab. I forgot what it was. Sides were going to be, um, cream spinach and loaded mashed potatoes. Right. And I was gonna have a dessert, some wine just come on over and have dinner. So she comes over. We're have, we're vibing.

I got the music planned. You know, we are going to try to work things out. Eat the, eat the lobster tails, having some wine, setting the [00:53:00] table, put the table down, put the food in front of her. And she goes, huh. I'm like, yo, what's up? She was like, I thought you said we were having loaded mashed potatoes. Now lemme give you the backstory to that.

I'm running late. Okay. I'm running late, preparing everything, cooking everything for her to come over, getting everything ready, right? Cleaning up my room. 'cause you know, you know that where that night's gonna lead to, right? So I didn't have time to actually mashed the potatoes. So instead of doing mashed loaded mashed potatoes, I did a loaded baked potato, still loaded potato, just baked instead of mashed.

That's the only change I made. Okay. She says, you said that you are gonna have loaded mashed potatoes. You know, you should just do what you say that you're going to do. And I lost it, ladies and gentlemen. I lost it. And I said, you know what? This thing is [00:54:00] over. You need to leave. And she was like, no, I'm not leaving.

You invited me over for dinner. Let's just eat. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm so mad right now. You need to leave my place. This, this, this date is over. You gotta go. She would not leave. She would not leave. So I grab her, uh, almost like a bear hug, but not a bear hug. I wanted to wrap my arms around her so that she wouldn't hit me.

I lift her up very gently, ladies and gentlemen, very gently. Okay. Lift her up, carry her to the front door, put her outside of the door, slam the door. 'cause she wouldn't leave. She would not leave. And I wanted her to leave. And it's my place. Toxic. I'm telling you man, toxic. We were both just so toxic. She's banging on my door.

Let me in, let me in, let me in. I'm like, the cops are eventually going to come. 'cause I live in a high rise apartment building. The cops eventually gonna come if you don't leave. I'm not, I'm not letting you back in at this point. I can't [00:55:00] let you back in. You need to go home. Somewhere along the line.

Karma's Lesson: Growth, Pain & Moving Forward 🌱🌀

Bruce Anthony: We still try to work things out.

At the beginning of the intro, I said Karma and God, right? This is what I learned about karma and God, this is the punchline to the story. So even after that, we're still trying to work things out and I don't know, she's feeling effy about it. I'm feeling fy about it and I, and I'm not digging this situationship, so I pray to God, and this is the reason why I believe in God.

He always answers my prayers. You just gotta be careful what you pray for. I pray to God. I say, God, give me a sign. If I'm supposed to pursue this or let it go, I need to know because I can't deal with this anxiety anymore. Just give me a sign. I'm not lying to you guys. I swear on everything that I love, that I own on family [00:56:00] members' lives.

I swear on everything. Within an hour later, I get a phone call from her. I don't pick up the phone, I let it go to voicemail. There's a voicemail that gets gets left. I said, okay, I'm gonna check that voicemail later because obviously it's the answer to my prayer and I'm gonna find out which way that I'm supposed to go.

Here's the thing, there wasn't a phone call from her. It was a butt dial from her. And in that butt dial, in that voice message that was left was a conversation that she was having with her homegirls out to dinner. And in that conversation, she's talking about being out on a date with another man, going back to his place and being intimate, not all the way intimate.

'cause she was like, I still love Bruce so much. I couldn't go through with it. But everything up to that point, all that shattered my heart. But it was karma, [00:57:00] right? Because all that playing around that I was doing in the situationship. Came back to bite me and the, not the worst way that it could have been, but God definitely answered my prayers and it was God and karma that changed my life that day.

Well, sort of, I kind of learned my lesson, but really kind of didn't learn my lesson. I just matured outta that. You know, I'm not, I'm not that same person anymore, but it, it showed me something. It showed me what you put out there in the universe. You get, you gonna get back. You're going to get it back somehow, some way.

Karma, I believe is a real thing. People will say bad things don't happen to bad people. It does just, we may not see it, but it does. Right. And what you, be careful what you pray for. 'cause you just might get it. I got my answer. I got my answer. My answer was we didn't need to be together anymore. 'cause there was no way I.

I was gonna be able to come back from that. That's how toxic I [00:58:00] was at the time. If I really truly loved her, I would've been able to get past that. But you know, obviously I didn't truly love her 'cause I wasn't able to get past that. And you know what? Here's the beauty of the thing. That person that she was intimate with that night on that butt down phone call to me, they've been happily married for over 20 years.

That was her person. And I'm so happy for her that she found that not at that time I wasn't. At that time I was pissed. You know what I'm saying? But now that was the best thing that could have happened. That was God answering all of our prayers. She met the person that she was supposed to be with, and we realized that we were not supposed to be together.

Trust me, we were heading down a disastrous path. We were talking about moving in together and marriage and kids and the whole nine. I remember going home, crying, hurt, distraught. Once I got that phone call, I went home to my parents, my brother and sister crying in the basement screaming I was gonna marry [00:59:00] this girl 26 at the time.

You know, I'm an idiot. I don't know, like, you know, that'd be, I was a kid. I thought that was the case. I didn't even really don't know if I really, even truly, truly loved that person. I think I liked the idea of them being around. I think I cared for that person, but loved them. I never treated them as a, as a as you would treat a loved one.

So I probably didn't. But her and her husband happily married, and so yes, karma. Praying to God, you gonna get your answers, you gonna get what's coming to you. And y'all may say, well, she was toxic too. Towards the end, I was way more toxic than she was. I mean, she had the thing with the dinner thing, but after that we, I had the conversation.

I told her how hurt I was and I, she, I had to honestly say she wasn't toxic anymore. My ass was still pretty doggone toxic. And so look, we are both better off now [01:00:00] than we were 20 years ago. That's how long it's been. Yeah, but I just wanted to tell y'all a little story. You know, I was very, very personal in this episode about, you know, how my mind works, how it does patterns. I should have seen the pattern that was coming. I should have seen the pattern that was coming. Um, but you know, hey, you live and you learn, and I'm a better person for all the pain that I inflicted on myself and that I caused.

You live, and you learn, and you hopefully become the best version of yourself, the most authentic version of yourself. And that's what it's all about.

That's a Wrap! Final Thoughts, Thanks & What's Next 🎬🙏

Bruce Anthony: And on that note, I want to thank everyone for listening. I want to thank you for watching, and until next time, as always, I'll holler.

Woo. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, [01:01:00] comment, and share our podcast. Wherever you're listening or watching it to it, pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock, we'll enjoy it also.

So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise. For all those people that say, well, I don't have a YouTube. If you have a Gmail account, you have a YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can actually watch our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content. But the real party is on our Patreon page after Hours Uncensored and talking straight ish after Hours.

Uncensored is another show with my sister, and once again, the key word there is uncensored. Those are exclusively on our Patreon page. Jump onto our website@unsolicitedperspective.com for all things us. That's where you can get all of our audio video, our blogs. And even buy our merch. And if you really feel generous and want to help us out, you can donate on our donations page.

Donations go strictly to improving our software and hardware so we can keep giving you guys good content that you can clearly [01:02:00] listen to and that you can clearly see. So any donation would be appreciative. Most importantly, I wanna say thank you, thank you, thank you for listening and watching and supporting us, and I'll catch you next time.

Audi 5,000 Peace.