Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥💥

[00:00:00]

Bruce Anthony: TikTok trend got me in a choke hold. We're talking narcissist and death. We gonna get into it. Let's get it.

Bruce Anthony: Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony. Here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation or follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast, YouTube exclusive content and our YouTube membership rate review.

Like, comment, share, share with your friends, share with your family. Hell even share with your enemies. On today's episode

Sibling Happy Hour: Spicy Takes & Drinks 🍹🌶️

Bruce Anthony: is the sibling happy hour. I'm here with my sis Jay, Andrea. We're gonna be dilly ding a little bit. Then we're gonna be giving a tribute to Michael and Jamal Warner. And then we're gonna be talking about narcissists.

But that's [00:01:00] enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.

Late to the Show: Sibling Drama & Apologies 😅🤦‍♀️

Bruce Anthony: What up sis?

Jay Aundrea: What up, brother?

Bruce Anthony: I can't call it. I can't call it. I want to apologize to the audience for today's episode. Jay, do you want to tell them why?

Jay Aundrea: I'm late.

Bruce Anthony: Not just a little late,

Jay Aundrea: A lot of

Bruce Anthony: a lot of late, and we postponed it, which means I'm gonna be up all night editing. But you know what? The show wouldn't be as successful without my sister. So I can't be too mad at her besides it's,

Jay Aundrea: you definitely can. I I I have no excuse, so I'm just, I'm sorry.

Bruce Anthony: I, yo Pharrell, I called our brother to calm me down. His ass ain't calm me down. His, his pH

Jay Aundrea: worst person to call to get calmed down. He's the worst person to do for that. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: you know what, he had an interesting philosophy. He said, no, I'm gonna work you up [00:02:00] and then bring you down. It's what they do in like debt consolidation or something like that. They work you all the way up, they get you into a frenzy and then they, they start to become calmer and then you become calmer and you're willing to listen then.

And I was like, oh, that's interesting. Okay.

Jay Aundrea: I've never heard that strategy, but, okay.

Bruce Anthony: Neither have I. It kind of worked.

Jay Aundrea: I feel like he made that up, but I, alright. Well,

Bruce Anthony: brother's an idiot. So I, I, at the end of it, I was laughing. Idiot, as in, he's funny. And so at the end of it, I was laughing, so it brought me

Jay Aundrea: He is actually incredibly smart. So

Bruce Anthony: oh God, he's so smart. I think he, he will say that he's not, but I believe he's the smartest outta all three of us.

Jay Aundrea: Oh. Hands down. It's not even a

Bruce Anthony: Hold on. Smartest. Not the most intelligent. There's a difference between smart and int intelligence.

Jay Aundrea: I would say he's the most intelligent then [00:03:00] because, you know, I would say he is the most intelligent.

Bruce Anthony: I think I say he's the most, he's the smartest.

Jay Aundrea: He knows a lot about a lot.

Bruce Anthony: that's what I mean. He's smart. So smart is knowing a bunch of things. Like people on jeopardy are smart. That doesn't necessarily mean they're intelligent. Intelligence is thinking is putting things together. And thinking, so it's the next

Jay Aundrea: that's all he does.

Bruce Anthony: Anyway,

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

90s Music Shock: When Parents Share Their Wild Playlists! 🎵😱

Bruce Anthony: let's get to this TikTok trend because

Jay Aundrea: So it looks, so it look, okay. So I just to be clear, intelligence refers to, this is Google, y'all. So take it with a grain of salt. Intelligence refers to an inherent cognitive ability. So this, you're born with your intelligence level, so it's your iq, right? Where smartness implies practical application of knowledge and quick wittiness.

So I think you're, I think we're both right. He is inherently intelligent, but he is also very quick and [00:04:00] knowledgeable.

Bruce Anthony: Yes. Anyway, our little brother has got the goods when it comes to the brains,

but

Jay Aundrea: down.

Bruce Anthony: this TikTok trend that's got me in a choke hold.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah, I, what is this? Because, you know, I ain't been back on TikTok since the election.

Bruce Anthony: Well, it, I, I not actually on TikTok, it's a TikTok trend that made its way to Instagram as most things do. And it's the, you know, na remember that song, you know, NA, Trina and Trick

Jay Aundrea: Of course I do. It is literally the soundtrack to my adolescence.

Bruce Anthony: So it is us people in our age group, millennials, right. Are playing that song for their now teenage kids.

Jay Aundrea: Oh, that's not, that's not a good idea

Bruce Anthony: No, no. Why, why not?

Jay Aundrea: because that song is incredibly vulgar.

Bruce Anthony: That's the whole point. Yeah. That's the whole [00:05:00] point of the

Jay Aundrea: that's the point of the trend. Okay.

Okay. That we, that we grew up in the trenches and they have no idea what

we were popping to.

Bruce Anthony: So I'm watching these reels and the kids are absolutely. Appalled.

Jay Aundrea: There, yeah. I, you know what, I actually did see a video. I didn't know it was a trend. I just saw one video TikTok reel and Yeah, the, a woman played it for her daughter, and her daughter was absolutely appalled by it. And we were just bopping at the school dance. So like it was no, nothing. It was nothing.

And it is, Trina's verse is the most vulgar thing. And, and still I love it. I can wrap every line.

Bruce Anthony: So I was talking to a friend of mine 'cause it, I'm telling you, this trend has had me on a choke hold. All I've been doing is searching more and more to seeing how these kids are

Jay Aundrea: I bet it's [00:06:00] hilarious.

Bruce Anthony: hilarious. 'cause they're in high school, right? And it's not like Cardi b Meg gorilla, sexy, red, aren't out here rapping.

Kind of like that. But it's just what Trina said.

Jay Aundrea: It's Trina.

Bruce Anthony: It, it was so, and it's specific, it's specifically Trina's verse, and then I was thinking to myself it's, that's a nasty verse, but that's not even half of how nasty some of these verses were. 'cause little Kim Foxy Brown, and don't listen to Adina Howard, freak,

Jay Aundrea: Oh,

Bruce Anthony: freak like me,

Jay Aundrea: the explicit version. Don't do it. I mean, we were literally by, what is that Soaker song? Put it in your. Yes. I couldn't even say the whole title because, and we were, we were bopping to that like that, like there was no problem and it was, we had no business singing them [00:07:00] lyrics, none,

Bruce Anthony: And so what

Generation Gap: Kids React to Parents' Music Choices! 😂🎶

Bruce Anthony: I discovered is it doesn't matter if you're a boomer, boomer, gen Z or even Gen Alpha. 'cause some of these kids would be Gen Alpha. 'cause Gen Alpha started in 2010, which means they'd be about 14, 15 years old right now.

Um, every generation, except for ours, is a balls at our music from the late nineties and early two thousands.

Jay Aundrea: It it really like, it really was like the Uncle Luke era. It was a lot of Florida rap.

Bruce Anthony: Don't get a start on two. Live crew, two live crews started all for me.

Jay Aundrea: Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, the song is just me so horny. That's it.

Bruce Anthony: So funny. That's, that's detained. That's

Jay Aundrea: That's the tame one.

Bruce Anthony: That's not even

Jay Aundrea: the one we heard on the radio.

Bruce Anthony: Right. That's not even pop that p and this, this title of the song is Tamed. Come On Baby. But the [00:08:00] actual lyrics to Come On Baby by Two Live Crew. So disgusted I, but you gotta remember at that time how our kids disgusted it at that music and not disgusted by the music.

Now I would say lyrically,

even though Meg, Cardi B and Glow, they lyrically they're great

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: the nineties and two thousands, you painted a little bit more of a vivid picture.

Jay Aundrea: Yes. Yeah, like, I mean, you have like the, the Cardi Meg track W right. And everybody was just like clutching their pearls when Wop came out. But I'm like. Y'all 25 years ago, we were singing much worse.

Bruce Anthony: Nothing this bad as freak like me, Adina Howard Freak like me, explicit version. But I'm telling you this trend that got me on the choke hold and it's just, it is so funny [00:09:00] watching kids and I don't know if the kids are appalled at the lyrics, the fact that their parents used to listen to that. 'cause you know you have a version of your parents when you're growing up.

Like you ain't, you wasn't cool. No. Look, if you are cool as a kid, that coolness came from somewhere

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: and it came from your parents.

Jay Aundrea: listen. Coolness is genetic. Okay. No, I didn't see, I, I never seen, like. A, a, a lame family and like one cool kid. Isn't that No, it's a, everybody's a, a nerd. Everybody is a, as a jock or everybody has a, like, it's, it's typically your family unit. Y'all, y'all, there's like a common threat. Like our family.

We're funny, we're comedians, like that's our family. Like, so everybody's got that comment thread. I feel like coolness, you can't learn how to be cool. I, I just don't think you can.[00:10:00]

Bruce Anthony: Oh, okay.

Jay Aundrea: I think you can learn how to perform coolness, but I feel like actual coolness where you don't have to tell people I'm cool. Like when you don't have to do that. That is, that's so I feel like that's just something you're born with. That's a temperament, like intelligence. Like it's just there's a coolness quotient and where you are on the spectrum is just where you are on the spectrum. And that's it.

Bruce Anthony: I will say this. You said performative and Okay. People can't be performative. Cool. That doesn't necessarily mean that they cool, and I've always said, this is my cardinal rule in life. If you have to tell people what you are, you ain't that because? Because you don't ever have to tell people because you just are

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. If you get, if you played a game, a pick up basketball and you got at the end tell people, Hey, I could ball. You [00:11:00] shouldn't have to do, people should already know 'cause they just watched you play. They just watched you play. So why you letting everybody know, Hey, I, I, I don't know about y'all, but I could Are you sure?

Bruce Anthony: what? You know

Jay Aundrea: Because nobody else is saying that.

Bruce Anthony: If somebody saw me, I haven't picked up a basketball in years. If somebody saw me play right now, I'm horrible. I'm, I know I'm horrible 'cause I have no rhythm. But you know how sometimes you look at older people and you say they look old now, but I bet when they was younger they was fine.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Sometimes you can see somebody out there who hadn't played a sport for a long time and they could suck, but the mechanics of which they're playing, you are like, oh, they used to be

Jay Aundrea: yeah, yeah. yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't think coolness is the same way though.

Bruce Anthony: Ah, well, okay.

Jay Aundrea: I feel like it's like intelligence. I feel like you can, you can learn to be smart, right?

Bruce Anthony: Yes.

Jay Aundrea: But you can't. Your intelligence is what it is, and I feel like your [00:12:00] coolness is what it is. You can learn to be more sociable. You can learn to be more extroverted.

You can, you can even learn to be funny, but I don't know that you, aside from performing coolness, which everybody sees through y'all, stop doing it. Just be yourself. But like aside from performing it, I just don't. You. You know, you just gotta be born with it. I think you gotta be born with coolness.

Bruce Anthony: Ooh, that's a good question. What determines coolness? Because I would say I don't know that I'm necessarily cool.

Jay Aundrea: I'm not.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. I, I don't think I'm, because I'm kind of, I'm kind of corny, not kind of corny, extremely corny, extremely sis silly. But I do have a smoothness. I can be smooth

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: when I can't, let me, let me rephrase that.

I can be [00:13:00] suave when I, when I want to be. But then we had an uncle who was the epitome of cool.

Jay Aundrea: It just came out of his pores and I feel like he was like that his whole

life. His whole life. Because I feel like what's inherent in coolness is confidence.

Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

Jay Aundrea: It's confidence. It's like a self-assuredness that you just have. You just have it. And also like authenticity, being yourself. That's the thing about an uncle, no matter what, he was himself

Bruce Anthony: himself.

Jay Aundrea: and he do what he wanted to do and he was the one of a kind.

I feel like that's like, there are certain things with like, I don't think you can teach confidence. I think you can gain it over time through like experience and things like that. I don't know about authenticity. I don't know if you can. I[00:14:00]

Bruce Anthony: I,

Jay Aundrea: think that's also like experience, you know?

Bruce Anthony: I think authenticity, just like confidence can. Be gained or improved upon? Just like when we talked about it, I don't know, several shows back about empathy, right? Like we we're not born with this natural sense of empathy. It's kind of an experience that you have to experience and then you develop this emotion.

It very much like inside out, right? Is it inside out? Inside out. And inside out too. We only have a certain amount of emotions and as we get older, we experience more and more emotions if you allow yourself to experience emotions.

Real Talk: Why Everyone Should Try Therapy 🧠💭

Bruce Anthony: I had a conversation with somebody, I'm not gonna throw 'em under the bus, but I had a conversation with somebody 40 years old.

41 years, okay. And I told them, I think you need to go to therapy.

I think, I think a lot of people need to go to therapy. I don't think, I think everybody should at least have a therapy session or two just to see if you need

Jay Aundrea: [00:15:00] Yeah. Hey you know, mental health, just like physical health, you, you should keep up with it regularly if you go and get your physical. And you do all the things you need to do for your physical health, your mental health, you gotta do the same things everybody. You should definitely check in with a licensed therapist

Bruce Anthony: That part.

Jay Aundrea: annual, like you just should.

Bruce Anthony: So this person I was talking to, I said, yeah, I think you need therapy, because they're going through some things. It's like, I think you need therapy.

And they're like, no, no way. I don't believe in therapy. I said, okay, that's real dumb. And I'm gonna explain to you why.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I said, if you broke your leg, are you gonna go to the doctor?

Yeah, of course. Okay. So if you're willing to fix your physical body, you're not willing to fix the inside,

which is your emotions

Jay Aundrea: yeah,

Bruce Anthony: your psych.[00:16:00]

Jay Aundrea: that is. That I honestly, your mental and psychological wellbeing is more a part of who you are than your physical body,

Bruce Anthony: Yep.

Jay Aundrea: because you could still be you if that physical body don't work.

Bruce Anthony: No, no, not me though.

Jay Aundrea: I mean, but you're still, you could still think, you could still, you could still be you without their physical body.

Like, but what,

Bruce Anthony: thinking, I wish I had

Jay Aundrea: is,

Bruce Anthony: physical body.

Jay Aundrea: well, yes, but if your mind is not right, your mind is you. Your

Bruce Anthony: This is true. This is true. What's happening to Bruce Willis is the scariest thing in the world right now.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. We don't exist without our mind. That's why we have the term brain dead. Like there is a, you, your whole body could still be functioning, but if you do not have your mind, you are no longer alive.

So like that. The fact that people [00:17:00] don't make that connection, right? They allow like stigma around mental health and all of these things to keep them from, taking care of such an important part of themselves. Y'all, please, please talk to somebody.

Bruce Anthony: And notice what

my sister, and notice what my sister said, A licensed, licensed

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. Your home girl, your homeboy. I get it. They're great listeners and you like their advice, but that don't mean that it's the right advice for you. It's just you like it. Yeah. I should crash out. No, you shouldn't crash out.

Bruce Anthony: should never crash. Yeah. Yeah. And, and just remember it's a terrible thing to lose your mind. We're smiling, but [00:18:00] it's a sad week

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: on, Sunday, July 20th, 2025, Malcolm Jamal Warner passed away. We'll get into the specifics of it, but I remember you texting in the group chat, Theo passed away and that's what everybody said, right? Theo passed away and what was it? I think immediately I was like, well, the first thing I was like, what?

Jay Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: And then he was like, Malcolm Jamal Warner. And I was like, I know what you're talking about is just a surprise. 'cause he is only so much older than I am. And then I saw that, you know, he, he drowned. But the next thing I said was two more. Two more is coming.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah, it comes in

Bruce Anthony: It comes in threes and then it was Ozzy Osborne.

Jay Aundrea: Which, oh, man, that's, that's heartbreaking. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, I, I mean, okay. Yes it is,

Jay Aundrea: I, [00:19:00] I was a Black Sabbath fan. I mean, I guess I still am, but you know. Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: mean, I like Ironman, but only 'cause the Road Warriors used to come down to the Ring and Ironman. And speaking of wrestling, Hawk Hogan passed away. Now

Jay Aundrea: No one cares

Bruce Anthony: look,

I

Jay Aundrea: except Maga.

Bruce Anthony: was the biggest hawker maniac As a little kid, you couldn't have

told me nothing.

Jay Aundrea: Me too. I, I saw all his movies. I, I, you couldn't tell,

Bruce Anthony: I saw Suburban commando, Mr. Nanny, all that stuff.

Jay Aundrea: Mr. Nanny had me crying and laughing.

Bruce Anthony: But when he said the N word,

not once, not, not once, not, twice, but three times. All because his daughter was dating a black man and then said. Well, I would understand if he was eight foot tall and was a millionaire basketball player or something. I said, you know what, I'm off LK Hogan and I've been off Haw Hogan and this was before he went [00:20:00] in front of MAGA and performed at the Republican National Convention last summer.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: So we not talking about him, Ozzy Osborne, rest in peace. You made Iron Man and you did a lot of, you did a lot of stuff. You had a great television show, reality show and, and all that good stuff.

Remembering Malcolm: More Than Just Theo 🌟💔

Bruce Anthony: We are here to talk about Malcolm Jamal Warner and know this ladies and gentlemen. What do I keep saying? I keep telling you his name because I found so many people kept talking about Theo and I get it.

The Cosby Show was a phenomenon, but the Cosby

Jay Aundrea: It's, it's his iconic role and the fact that I could say Theo. And not Theo Huxtable. I just said Theo and y'all, ev y'all knew what I was talking about. It's, it's his iconic role. I get He is done way, he's done much more than that. But

Bruce Anthony: He is more of a,

Jay Aundrea: that will always have a special place in my heart.[00:21:00]

Bruce Anthony: yeah, but he's more than just that Theo character. I'm not even talking about some of the other work that he's done. That was eight years of his life. That show ended in 92. My man is 54 years old. What is eight divided into 54? It is sixth. Sixth and some change. So it is one sixth of his life, of his young life.

Not even his adult life, his young life. Okay. Unfortunately, he drowned while being on vacation in Costa Rica, in Costa Rica with his wife and his daughter. He and his daughter got caught in an undertow.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. I've, that's happened to me before. It's incredibly scary.

Bruce Anthony: He and his daughter got caught in the undertow and the daughter was eight years old. They were able to rescue them, but he was unresponsible unresponsive. They tried for 45 minutes to use a CPR. He's pro pronounced dead on the scene, and I want to just take this time to [00:22:00] just say, thankfully his 8-year-old daughter made it.

I'm sure he was fighting like hell in that current to save his daughter. Kind of took me back to Kobe Bryant, I know, grabbed

G and, and held a tight when they knew they were going down, it just comfort her. I'm sure Malcolm Jamal Warner did whatever he could to save his daughter's life,

Jay Aundrea: yeah,

Bruce Anthony: but I'm so scared for that little girl.

Jay Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: She was there when her daddy drowned and so young. And that's gonna be just so tough to deal with. And it just got me thinking that, hey, this man is more than Theo and I want to do a tribute. And then also as I started doing more and more research, 'cause I found myself, I'm calling everybody out for, for calling him Theo.

I found myself saying, well, what [00:23:00] else do I know him from? I remember he was on suits. That was a big deal

for me. But I never watched Malcolm and Eddie

Jay Aundrea: Oh,

hilarious.

Bruce Anthony: and, when

I did,

Jay Aundrea: to go back,

Bruce Anthony: okay. So I did. But when I did, it was simply for Eddie Griffin. Right? It wasn't for Malcolm Jamal Warner. The Cosby Show was not for Malcolm Jamal Warner.

It was for Bill and Denise. Denise personally for me, 'cause I was in love with her, still in love with her, and now in love with her daughter. I don't know what that says about me, but anyway, like he's, he's always been playing second fiddle, but he's always popped on the screen. 'cause I remember his role in suits and so as I'm doing the research, I was like, I want to play pay tribute to the man and not the guy that everybody knows as Theo, because the man is absolutely remarkable.

He is more than just an actor. And I'm gonna get into it, but just when this happened, how did you feel? How did it hit you because now our [00:24:00] childhood is starting to die.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah, that's, I think it's that, just being faced with like our own mortality as the people that we, loved as, as young people. Our passing away in our adulthood. It's like, it's, it's difficult. And then, for it. To be you know, and, and a tragic accident like this, and so sudden, and he really was young.

He is only 54, so that he had a very young daughter. Like it's, I, I was extremely shocked and definitely heartbroken.

Bruce Anthony: So I want to give this tribute to Malcolm Jamal Warner. I'm gonna read through some stuff, some of his accolades, a little bit about of his life, and then you guys will learn that he was much [00:25:00] more than just Theo Huxtable. So first thing, he was a Leo, born August 18th, 1970. He was named after Malcolm X and a Jazz pianos, ah, Maud Jamal. He attended and graduated from the professional children's school in New York City while still in high school. Warner was cast as Theo Huxtable, the only son of CL Cliff and Claire Huxtable on The Cosby Show, a role he played from 1984 at the age of 13 to 1992. His performance even earned him an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Supporting Actor in 1986. He was 15 years old when he was

nominated 15 years old. Of course the culture the Cosby Show was a cultural phenomenon, and Warner became one of the most recognizable black teenagers and later young adults in America during that eight season run. What else did he do though, because he starred more than that?

Jay brought up, he starred in Malcolm and Eddie from 1996, 2000. [00:26:00] He was in A-B-E-B-E-T series read between the lines from 2011 to 2015 and played Dr. AJ. Austin on the resident from 2018 to 2023. Now, I want y'all to look at the, the time periods. Cosby Show. Fantastic show, right? One of the greatest shows ever, ever done.

84 to 92. What is that? Eight years. Okay.

Jay Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: Malcolm and Eddie, 96 to 2000, what is that?

Jay Aundrea: Four years.

Bruce Anthony: The resident, 2018 to 2023. What is that?

Jay Aundrea: Don't know.

Bruce Anthony: Five years. Okay, so this man was working his butt off, but outside of Theo Huxtable, the most important role to me was he played Julius Row on suits during the season six season from 2016 to 2017.

Row was a prison counselor. At the Federal [00:27:00] Correctional Institute in Danbury, Connecticut and became a significant figure for the show's protagonist Mike Ross during Mike's incarceration fraud. Now, if you guys are Suits fans, you know, Mike going to prison was the big season. That was the big season. Him going to prison, coming outta prison, the one that was giving him counseling, the one that was challenging the, this genius to think outside of himself to challenge his mental health.

Huh? Kind of like what we was talking about earlier, the challenge, his mental health, the role they gave that man to was Malcolm Jamal Warner. And every scene that he was in on suits, he stole the scene. So what else? Well, the funny thing about his role in suits was he had, he had auditioned several times for several different parts for suits, and they finally placed him in the perfect role, which by the way.

If you [00:28:00] understand who Malcolm Jamal Warner is, then you would understand why he's really good at playing a counselor. Kind of like how he was a counselor on the Cosby Show. He was working with the kids on the Cosby Show.

Jay Aundrea: He was, yes, you are absolutely

Bruce Anthony: He was challenging. It is been a, it is been a clip going around with Omar Epps when he was challenging Omar Epps to Omar Epps was a thug in the streets of Harlem, New York City or Brooklyn, New

York City. And

Jay Aundrea: Lived in Brooklyn.

Bruce Anthony: yeah, it might have been in Harlem. 'cause I think he was uptown. I think he was working with the kids uptown in Harlem.

Yeah. And my Omar Ppst was like, Hey man, take care of my little brother. 'cause Theo had lost it. He was about to get beat up by some goons and he had lost it.

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: He also did voice acting. He voiced the producer on the Magic School bust from 1994 to [00:29:00] 1997. He also directed e episodes of The Cosby Show, and he also did music.

He was a musician and producer and won a Grammy award as part of the jazz funk group. Miles long,

Jay Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: so he was an entertainer all the way around. He is more than Theo Huxtable. Jay, did you know about any of this stuff?

Jay Aundrea: Did not did, I definitely didn't know about the music. That's, that's, I knew about his voice acting. He has got an amazing voice. And so, you know, very soothing. Honestly, if Malcolm Jamal Warner was like, Hey, can you want me to read you Green Eggs and Ham? I say, yes, and I would curl up. And get comfortable and let him read it.

Because he just had that kind of very soothing voice. So I, I definitely knew he was a voice actor, but the music, I didn't know that. I didn't know he had a Grammy

Bruce Anthony: Right.

Jay Aundrea: nomination and a Grammy. That's, that's awesome.

Bruce Anthony: He's also been an, an activist. He [00:30:00] contributed to the public service program and including the AIDS awareness video timeout, the truth about HIV aids and you, which Stard ma, which starred Magic Johnson in our city hall, earning him an NAACP Kia Life Image Award.

Jay Aundrea: Wow.

Bruce Anthony: So for a lot of people, we don't think about HIV and AIDS like that anymore.

There are gonna be some people that were born 2000 and they were 25 years old. And that's not in their concept. They know about it. It's a thing, but it's not as big of a thing as it was in the late eighties. All throughout the nineties, HIE was a big thing.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Johnson getting HIV was the biggest thing.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Here he is doing activism work with Magic Johnson and Arsenio Hall, and he's gotta be like 18 years old at this point,

Jay Aundrea: Wow.

Growing Up Warner: The Early Years 👶📚

Bruce Anthony: 18 years old. [00:31:00] So, you know, he's more than just Theo Huxtable. He was a poet. He told a story his parents split when he was young. The age varies, but he was

a young child. When his parents split, his mom, he lived with his mom in LA until he got to high school.

Then he moved with his, then he moved in with his dad.

Black Literature's Power: Shaping Young Minds 📖✊

Bruce Anthony: But during the summers, he would go out to visit his dad in New York and his dad would make him read black literature during the summer.

Jay Aundrea: I feel like that's so, that makes so much sense for who Malcolm Jamal Warner was. So yeah, that makes so much sense.

Bruce Anthony: And would make him write book reports. And he used to get pissed. He was like, this is summer. This is summer vacation. And I'm sitting here doing schoolwork. And he was like, what his dad was doing was teaching him about his culture. And he was like, because of that I have an a, a [00:32:00] vision of what our, our people were,

Jay Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: are and can continue to be.

And so I've instilled that in in my daughter and anybody that I can talk to, I'm always willing to share that knowledge.

Legacy of a Legend: Beyond The Cosby Show 🎭⭐

Bruce Anthony: And when you hear all of this, you brought up the fact that his voice is just so soothing.

Jay Aundrea: It is.

Bruce Anthony: Is it because when a person has a soothing voice, is it because of the sound or is it because of the way in which they speak?

Jay Aundrea: It's the gravitas he had, he had a, a very poised, very graceful sort of affect. Like he just, it was a gravitas that he had. You know, it reminds me of like Chadwick, Bozeman, that same kind [00:33:00] of just presence and bearing. So it was a lot of that. I mean, yay has got a great voice, but it's also just how he carried himself.

Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: So when he passed on the day, I was like, oh man, that's really sad. And as I started thinking about it, it was, we're not that far off from age. Like he is a Gen Xer. And I'm a borderline, but like he, he would be like a big brother, right? He's not that far off from what my age is. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah.

My childhood, my childhood is starting to die. It's been slowly but surely starting to die. But some of them were older. This is almost a peer and it is a freak accident, but it's still, it's almost a peer. And so I started getting even more sad. Then as I did the research, I, I didn't become depressed.

Depressed isn't the right word, but I became, [00:34:00] mm, I don't know what that emotion was. I became something, I was feeling some type of way because here was a man that really should have been celebrated while he was alive, and here it is another time. Another example of we not giving people their flowers until they're dead.

We have

got to stop doing that and.

Jay Aundrea: yeah. Agreed. Agreed. Yeah.

Black Excellence: Celebrating Our Stars & Their Stories 🌟🎭✨

Jay Aundrea: And there are, I feel like there are still a lot of people, particularly black entertainers who have given us decades of work and have not gotten the flowers that they deserve. And he gave us a lifetime of work because one thing, Malcolm Jamal Warner was working, like, he was always working.

He was on a show, he was doing movies, he was doing music. That's new to me, [00:35:00] voiceovers, like Malcolm was always working. You went over some of his television work, but he still had film work. So like, he was always working. So he gave us a, a literally a lifetime. He started as a, as a young, he was 13 you said?

Bruce Anthony: Yes. He was 13 that

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. Yeah, he started at 13 and gave us a lifetime of work and should have received his flowers while he was here to smell them.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. And also going back to him as Theo

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: told us, what showed us in, in the, in, in the larger sense, obviously people knew about it already, but in a larger sense showed us about a condition called dyslexia

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: and learning disabilities. And you can have these learning disabilities and with a little help, with a little help, [00:36:00] you can still get to college and, and be successful.

And it doesn't have to be a, a, a negative stigma attached to you. You could still be, become success. I thought that was a very valuable story also. Don't ask your sister to give you no earring or make you a Gordon Gartrell.

Jay Aundrea: No, because that shirt ain't gonna come out. Right. But the cool, but the cool thing about Theo having dyslexia was that it showed that black people can have learning disabilities. Like at, whereas at the time, a lot of times in school, what are black children and their behavior problems, right? Oh, he's not doing well because he can't keep up.

No, the, the child has dyslexia and no one was thinking outside of the [00:37:00] box. They were looking at a black child not paying attention or being disruptive and he's a behavior problem, but, and so a lot. Of young black kids were going undiagnosed for things like dyslexia, autism, A DHD, completely undiagnosed.

They were instead being suspended. They were instead being punished because I don't know why they thought these things don't somehow don't apply to black children, but they do. And it really, it really shined a light on it and I think probably got a lot of people thinking about it and, and, and really showing that, no, no, we, we are also, we susceptible to these things and you need to start treating us the way other people receive treatment.

Bruce Anthony: So to you, [00:38:00] Malcolm, Jamal Warner, thank you. We love you, and then we gonna miss you.

Jay Aundrea: Rest in power brother.

Bruce Anthony: Amen.

Bruce Anthony: Jay, I think this word gets thrown around maybe a little too much nowadays,

Jay Aundrea: Yes.

Some of y'all, some people are just, are just jerks. Narcissism is is a diagnosable personality disorder.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Just 'cause somebody did you wrong, don't make them a narcissist. Don't automatically inherently make them a narcissist just because they're a little self-absorbed or even a lot of self-absorbed does not make them a narcissist. Stop throwing that word around it. It's a you gotta be, you know, diagnosed.

Yeah. As that [00:39:00] it is just, just thrown around. However, some of some people listening and watching this segment, this is going to hit home because I grabbed an article. This is from parade.com. Story is written by Beth and Meyer. It is seven things a narcissist always does at the end of the relationship according to psychologists.

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: So.

Jay Aundrea: Since there's a personality disorder.

Red Flags: Spotting Narcissistic Behavior 🚩⚠️

Bruce Anthony: So psychologists explain seven common behaviors. Narcissists exhibit at the end of a relationship highlighting their tendency to manipulate, control and preserve their self image even as the relationship dissolves. Narcissists are often rewrite the breakup narrative to their advantage, blame their partner for their relationship's, failure and may and may seek revenge to hurt the other person.

These, these behaviors stem from a need for control, admiration and a lack of empathy, making an end of a relationship with the [00:40:00] narcissist uniquely challenging and potentially damaging for other people. Now, I just read all that and as I was in the middle of it, I said, dammit, am I a narcissist?

Jay Aundrea: No.

Bruce Anthony: Well, because I damn sure will rewrite the narrative on my breakups.

I will blame it all on the partner, but I don't seek revenge.

Jay Aundrea: Right.

Bruce Anthony: Well, my

Jay Aundrea: No, there, there are the reason they could come up with seven things that they, because there is a pattern to the behavior. That's how you get, diagnosed with it. It is a repeated pattern of behavior. If you had a breakup and you were like, nah, that's all their fault. Even though it was a little bit of your, you still inherently know it's a, it's a little bit your fault or a lot of it your fault.

When you rewrite that, everybody rewrites narratives, right? We're the main [00:41:00] character in our own lives, so everybody rewrites narratives or rewrites history, but it's the repeated pattern of behavior. That's, that's where you can say, this is a narcissist. Some people are just dicks. Y'all like, that's it.

Bruce Anthony: Well, it's funny that you were focusing so much on rewriting narrative 'cause that's number one. Narcissists will tell a version of the breakup that suits their image, often portraying themselves as blameless, blameless, and ensuring the breakup is on their terms. Now.

Once again, these are like my sister said, these are seven things.

It's not just one. We have all done this. Ain't no breakup ever been my fault. I can tell you that right now,

Jay Aundrea: Yeah, I mean,

Bruce Anthony: and I,

Jay Aundrea: hundred percent of mine have been my fault because I'm the one doing the breaking up, so

Bruce Anthony: well,

Jay Aundrea: my fault.

Bruce Anthony: I'm also the one being doing the breaking up two, I've never been dumped. That is a [00:42:00] baldheaded lie because I absolutely have. I tell you, what I will also do is blame my partner narcissists, attribute the relationship's failure entirely to their partner, maintaining their ego, and avoiding responsibility for any wrongdoing.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: I don't really do that, ladies, gentlemen. I actually take responsibility and accountability, y'all know, 'cause I talked about that earlier this week about taking accountability and apologizing. But I'm sure you've been in a relationship or you've done this. You blame your partner, it is all their fault.

'cause you don't want to take

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: and responsibility

of your own situation.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. Taking accountability is tough for anyone.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Like

especially when you late to the, to record the show.

Jay Aundrea: And I apologized

Bruce Anthony: You, you did. That's the reason why, that's the reason why I ain't cuss you out because I, because you know me. You know when somebody gives me a sincere apology, I'd just be like, nah, I'm just gonna let this go.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: Even though you

Jay Aundrea: said [00:43:00] I, I don't have any excuse. I forgot if that's on me, and I apologize.

Bruce Anthony: now, the first two, you may look at yourself, am I a narcissist? It's this third one I told you where it stopped for me. Now if you do this, you might wanna go seek therapy. And the third one is seeking revenge. If they feel wronged or their control is threatened, they may act eventually, such as posting damaging content online.

Contacting mutual friends or employers, or even hacking accounts.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. And mind you, this is someone who just feels like their control is threatened, not that you actually did anything to where they feel like they should seek revenge. Right? No, it's, it's just you no longer allow them the access to [00:44:00] you that they need in order to feel like they're in control. And because of that, they act out eventually.

That's, that's, that's, most people don't do that. Most people don't do that. So you don't have to worry. A lot of y'all out there, bro. You don't have to worry. You are not a narcissist. Here's the, here's how you know you're not a narcissist. If you look at yourself and your own behavior and you say, am I a narcissist, you're not.

Because narcissists don't know that they are narcissists. They will never have enough self-reflection

Bruce Anthony: ask themselves that question.

Jay Aundrea: to to ask themselves that question.

True Stories: Dating Drama & Life Lessons 💘😮

Bruce Anthony: You, you know, you said something and I think it's in one of the behind the scenes and I did not realize that I do this, but since you pointed it out, I've been recognizing that I do do this. You say you always got a story about everything. Wherever we

Jay Aundrea: [00:45:00] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: you got a story about something that, and, and

I don't know where that,

Jay Aundrea: matter what it is. You have a story.

Bruce Anthony: guess what, I got a story.

Jay Aundrea: There we go. Go.

Bruce Anthony: I was, I, I know I haven't told this story before and only people from high school actually know this story. There was a young woman. I went to a new high school the second semester of my junior year. I didn't really have any friends. I, there was one young lady who befriended me and I would have lunch with her every day.

My naive ass didn't realize that she had a crush on me. I just thought she was being my friend.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: There was another young lady, one of several, by the way, 'cause one, I was a new boy, plus I was good looking. But anyway, there was one, one young lady who really, really had a crush on me and word got to me like she was trying to kick it with me.

I did not want to kick it with her. So I'm at lunch with my friend that I normally have lunch with, and I'm telling her, yeah, you know, I, [00:46:00] I, I'm gonna have to talk to her, but I hate talking to people 'cause I don't, I don't like letting women down. I still don't like doing that. And so if I, back in the day, if I could avoid it at all costs, I would. She said to me, my friend that I'm having lunch with said, oh, I'll tell her for you. I was like, you will. Yep, yep, yep. I was like, you will. She's like, yeah, of course I'll do that favor for you. I was like, thank you. She goes up to this young lady and she proceeds to say, I don't even know why you would think Bruce would be interested in you.

You are ugly. You are not his type. You are not in his league. He doesn't have any feelings for you. You are barking up. The wrong tree bar just goes off. I did not, I was not there when she said these things 'cause she said she was going to handle it for me. That's my homie. Thank you because I'm too chicken s to actually do it myself.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Well, this young lady decided to seek revenge. [00:47:00] Mind you, we never dated, so this wasn't a breakup, but she decided to seek revenge and she spread a rumor about me that I did not find out was spreading and was believed until the end of the school year when I was trying to holler at another young woman.

Jay Aundrea: Mm.

Bruce Anthony: And that one, that rumor was I went up to one of my, one of my crushes. 'cause you know, I always gotta have a few of them. This was my main crush.

Jay Aundrea: Lord.

Bruce Anthony: she was my main crush. And I was like, Hey, you know, we should get together sometime, go to a movie or something like that. 'cause this is the nineties, you go to the movie or something like

that.

Or Ruby Tuesdays, you know, if you got a little bit of bread you go to TGI Fridays. But mostly Applebee's, Ruby Tuesday get that too for, for $15.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: She is like, you mean as friends? And I was like, no, like, like a date. She looks me dead in my eye. But aren't you gay? This woman that I decided not to be cool with had spread a rumor [00:48:00] for the new boy in school that I was gay and people were believing it.

Mind you ladies and gentlemen, this is 1996.

Jay Aundrea: yeah,

Bruce Anthony: This is not today. This is

Jay Aundrea: yeah,

Bruce Anthony: A different era, a different time.

Jay Aundrea: yeah. By the time I got to high school, we had a gay straight alliance. It was a club for students, you know, and for, for LGBT students and allies. So, but before that was still new.

Bruce Anthony: You know what's

crazy, ladies and gentlemen? You know how crazy, you know how quick of a turn that was when I graduated the following year, my sister came into high school, so she was a freshman in high school when I was a freshman in college. That, that, so that's how quick that was. But before that time, well, I guess everybody was real accepting because everybody just accepted it

as as the truth And and I didn't Didn't they? didn't they?

Jay Aundrea: make fun of

Bruce Anthony: No. Well,

I, I mean, it's, yeah, I'm [00:49:00] still me, so ain't nobody going try and make fun of me. I'm still like six foot four, almost 190 pounds. So like, ain't too many people gonna say something for me. Say something to me. But yet that young lady seeks revenge and I wholeheartedly believe she's a narcissist.

Jay Aundrea: Nope. No, she's

not.

Bruce Anthony: Behaviors as well.

Jay Aundrea: no, you are just a chicken. And that was handled extremely poorly. And,

um, she's also a teenage girl, so I could see her acting out in that way. So, yeah. No, that, that was thousand hundred percent, but at, at the same time you were a teenage boy, so

Bruce Anthony: A teenage boy that thought like a preteen adolescent,

Jay Aundrea: yeah. Yeah. So it, it is, what are you, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? This, these are children in like mature situations. Handling it like children. So, no, I don't think she was a

Bruce Anthony: But I missed my [00:50:00] shot. I missed my shot because she thought I was gay and I couldn't convince her that I wasn't. Even though I was like, no, I wanna take you off for a date. She could have been my future wife. And guess what? She's still fine. Today. She got like six kids. She looked the same, not the same. She looks a little bit more mature, but she looks great for her age.

I mean, she looks like she's like 20 years old. Done had six kids, and I'm like, I missed out all because of this young woman spreading a rumor, seeking revenge. She was a narcissist.

Jay Aundrea: No.

Bruce Anthony: Number four, sign erratic behavior. Narcissist actions can swing from affection to hostility using passive aggre aggressive tactics to confuse and maintain influence over their partner

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: gaslighting.

Jay Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: And also, y'all gonna stop, that's another term I'm getting tired of being

used all the time,

Jay Aundrea: too much.

Bruce Anthony: too

much calling

Jay Aundrea: You're doing too [00:51:00] much

Bruce Anthony: saying everything is gaslighting.

Sometimes

Jay Aundrea: everything isn't triggering you. Everything isn't gaslighting, and everybody is not a narcissist.

Bruce Anthony: But these

people, yeah, these people that we're talking about absolutely are like the young lady that, that, that spread that rumor and this person that does that will take their actions and swing from affection to hostility and using passive aggressive attack. That's true gaslighting. And once again.

It's seven things. It isn't one thing. One thing does not make you a narcissist. It's a combination of all of these things. Okay? So don't hit us up on the dm. My boyfriend was a narcissist. 'cause he would go back and forth and back and forth. No, your boyfriend was bipolar and he needed some help.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. Yeah. Or he

Bruce Anthony: a narcissist.

Jay Aundrea: or he just was passive aggressive. A lot of people are passive aggressive.

Bruce Anthony: Oh, I'm the, I used to be the king of [00:52:00] passive aggressive, as you see from my previous story.

Jay Aundrea: Yes,

Bruce Anthony: You know what else

Jay Aundrea: but no. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: go ahead. What you gonna say?

Jay Aundrea: Oh, but like I was just saying, like I said earlier, it is, it's like you said, it's the seven things that they do, not one, the seven things they do. And again, it's a pattern of repeated behavior

Bruce Anthony: Yep.

Jay Aundrea: over a long period of time. So it's not, not just 'cause one time you dated somebody and they played the victim,

Bruce Anthony: Everybody plays the fool at least once.

Jay Aundrea: sometimes

Bruce Anthony: That's a song, ladies.

Jay Aundrea: exception to the rule.

Bruce Anthony: That's a song, ladies and gentlemen. All right. Number five plays the victim. They often cast themselves as the wrong party to gain sympathy and support from others. Sometimes recruiting third parties a triangulation to reinforce their story. You know what I'm talking about? [00:53:00] They, they'll be like, call my boy, my boy. You see? He was, he was getting on me and you right? She always doing stuff all the time. You right man. She is always doing stuff all the time, and, and that person's not calling that boy out that they boy was cheating.

Jay Aundrea: Right,

Bruce Anthony: why she hit you with the

Jay Aundrea: because they knew, they know damn well they homie ain't, ain't right.

Bruce Anthony: I was just, something came up on Instagram the other day. And I think it was like women were calling men out. 'cause they were like, you, you know that your boy ain't right and you still be kicking with him. And the the comedian, a man was like, no. Sometimes it's random and we just one day are kicking it.

And then they say some off the wall stuff that, that say, Hey, have you ever had peanut butter in your butt crack to watch football? And you're like, what? No.

Jay Aundrea: no,

Bruce Anthony: do something like that? It makes the game better. Hmm. You know what?

Jay Aundrea: I watched, [00:54:00] I saw Real, and it was just a couple dudes talking and one of the dudes, they were young guys and one of the dudes, man, I took down a 70-year-old woman one time, and then everybody looked at him like he was crazy and he said, see, I talk too much. That's my problem. And he walked away.

Bruce Anthony: Yeah, we don't, men don't share, men don't. Look, my boys, my brothers that have known me for 30 years

Jay Aundrea: Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: don't know the story of my divorce. And my divorce was like 12, 13 years ago. They don't even know the story. They don't know what happened.

Jay Aundrea: Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: talk,

Jay Aundrea: and they don't ask questions,

Bruce Anthony: uh, well,

Jay Aundrea: they know you got the, have they asked?

Bruce Anthony: okay. Yes, they, people have asked what happened, but you know me, I don't like people in my business. If I feel like telling you, I tell you,

okay.

Don't ask me [00:55:00] nothing. Okay? Hey, Bruce, how's go? How are things going? You know what? You'll never know. 'cause don't ask me if I want to tell you how things going. I will volunteer that information.

So I wasn't volunteering and now I'm dug in. Now even if they ask me right now, I'd still be like, Hey, stop asking me. Okay. They'd be like, man, it was like 27 years ago. You been remarried, you got three kids. Don't ask me about past stuff unless I'm willing to tell you. But yeah, no. So playing the victim, we've all been in situations where people play the victim.

No, we have played the victim.

Jay Aundrea: Yes.

Bruce Anthony: That alone

Jay Aundrea: Yes. I need some sympathy,

Bruce Anthony: because you were Leo and everything

revolves around you.

Jay Aundrea: I'm dead ass wrong. No, I, no, I'm typically more self-aware than that

Bruce Anthony: Alright, [00:56:00] the final one. Hovers or harasses. Even after the relationship ends, they may continue to contact, harass, and try to taint their ex-partners reputation, sometimes alternating with periods of silence or apparent indifference. These behaviors are driven by narcissist, need for control, admiration, and an inability to accept responsibility.

Mm, an inability to accept responsibility, making the end of such relationships, especially tumultuous. So look, those are the seven things. they, if you

was

in the situ, did we miss one? What did we miss?

Jay Aundrea: Yeah. Number four, manipulates to regain control.

Bruce Anthony: I, I thought I said that. I missed that one.

Jay Aundrea: Now you jump to erratic behavior.

Bruce Anthony: Did I? All right. Well, oh, all right. Okay. So number seven, narcissists will manipulate to [00:57:00] regain control. Narcissists may use guilt, false promises, or emotional manipulation to try and keep their partner in a relationship or, or control the aftermath. Well, that was, that was the other one. Sorry. I did, I did skip that one.

You know why? 'cause you was late. You know, I'm just messing with you, you know.

Jay Aundrea: Never, never live nothing

Bruce Anthony: No, you, I'll probably never bring it up again. You know, I, you know how I am, you know, I'm a

narcissist

Jay Aundrea: I do.

Bruce Anthony: so I had to, I know I'm trying to just be funny at this point. I needed to lean into the joke. But ladies,

gentlemen,

Jay Aundrea: just a jerk

Bruce Anthony: I am absolutely that and sometimes a bit of an asshole.

Just a bit, just a bit. From time to time. But you know what, it's all because I've had people do me wrong, like spread rumors about me that are untrue, that jeopardize would've been the mother of my [00:58:00] kids?

Jay Aundrea: You never, you never

Bruce Anthony: Nah, that would, I would've changed my whole life around.

Jay Aundrea: have been,

Bruce Anthony: No, I wouldn't have, I would've cheated on her too.

I would've went, went to college, cheated. I would've been good in high school. That senior year would've been my year.

Jay Aundrea: Yes.

So,

Bruce Anthony: prom

Survival Guide: Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships 💪🆓

Jay Aundrea: yeah, but you know, there is, there are strategies for people dealing with narcissists, especially at the end of a relationship. There are things that you can do to help yourself get distance, which is really the most important thing, and to heal. So the first thing is obviously to go no contact.

If you can't go, no contact, 'cause a lot of y'all have kids with a narcissist, so you can't go no contact. Gray Rock Method, that's where you just exhibit just no emotion. You are a bl. You give that Gen Z stare. A [00:59:00] narcissist cannot stand Well, there goes my light, a nurse, there it goes again. I got, i I banged on the table.

And that was the problem. A narcissist cannot stand when they can't rile you up because the whole way that they get control is by manipulating your emotions. So if you give them nothing, they can't stand that. So if you do have to interact with the narcissist, 'cause you have to co-parent or what have you, just, it's called the gray rock method, just be devoid of emotion.

You need to learn that the cycle that they get into. So there's a there is a narcissist. Abuse cycle is four stages. They'll idealize you, which is love bombing. A lot of people know about that intense flattery. [01:00:00] Then they'll devalue you. They'll like subtly start to criticize you, gaslight you, things like that.

They'll discard you and it'll be very cold. And it is just like a sudden abandonment. And then they hover. That's one of the ones that you brought up, up. They'll come back, they'll try to charm you. They'll just always be around and you'd be like, why won't you leave me the hell alone? gotta learn that cycle so that you can break those bonds when you start to see it pop up.

And then just seek support. You know, find people that you trust therapy. There are survivor communities out there, and you can find people to support you. And then just watch for that hovering. Don't respond to that. A big head text. Don't do it. Don't do it. Okay. That is them trying to reel you back in because they realize that they've lost control over you.[01:01:00]

They don't want you, they want to control you. They don't want anybody, they just want, they just want them. They want themselves and they want control. So just recognize that, recognize that it is, again, a pattern of behavior and see those places where you can break those bonds.

Bruce Anthony: I love that. And also cut them if you have to. Go ahead. Cut

them. Yeah. And, and

Jay Aundrea: Oh, wait, are we talking about physically because like a switchblade or like, or you just mean cut

Bruce Anthony: well, we monetize. So I mean, cut 'em off. That's what I mean. Wink, wink. Also use project. Pat said it best.

Don't save them. They don't want to be saved.

Jay Aundrea: No,

Bruce Anthony: Just let 'em go.

Jay Aundrea: yeah.

Bruce Anthony: Jay, you just gave him a lot. Do you

Jay Aundrea: I do

Bruce Anthony: anything else before we get up outta here?

Jay Aundrea: [01:02:00] the, the most important thing that we have as human beings is our identity. And one of the things that a narcissist will do is try to rob you of your identity. They'll slowly separate you from your friends and your family, control what you do, what you wear, what you, what you say, where you go. The most important thing we have is who we are, and so that is the hardest thing to build back up.

But just remember that there are people out there that love you as you are, and there are strength in being yourself. And to tie it back into coolness, the most important part of being cool is authenticity. Is being yourself and being true to yourself and not worrying about whatever the hell everybody else got.

protect who you're at all.

Bruce Anthony: I love that.

Closing Thoughts: Give People Their Flowers 🌺💝

Bruce Anthony: And for me, I'm going to say. Appreciate the good things while you have them. 'cause [01:03:00] they don't last forever. And I'm learning that more and more. And Malcolm Jamal, Jamal Warner pointed that out this week with his untimely passing because he should have been celebrated. So those people that you know out there that have talent or you love their work, celebrate them.

Give them their flowers when you're promoting them or where you're posting a story or a reel from them. Give them their flowers, acknowledge it, because that stuff doesn't last forever and it's gone and it hurts like hell when it's gone. And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening.

I want to thank you for watching, and until next time, as always, I'll holler.

Woo. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast. Wherever [01:04:00] you're listening or watching it to it, pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock, we'll enjoy it also.

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Audi 5,000 Peace.